least favorite thing about your sex/gender

[Pr0m4NV14 839]

Those random-boners that just pop up out of nowhere. It makes things awkward.

 

Dude’s can’t also like not-manly things without being called gay or something. I got picked on a lot for figure skating. 

[Feather Scribbles 194]

The traditional masculine stereotypes. I would love to learn to play the violin and the piano, and I attempted exactly that once, but I was just called a gay f*ggot by a bunch of people, including girls.

Also, I hate that I have to be a stupid emotionless idiot who is only into girl's bodies (aka sex) and to be obsessed with sports. 1) Regardless of the fact that I isolate myself a lot of the time, I ALWAYS respect women, and not for being women, but for being human. I treat people how I want to be treated. 2) I am quite intelligent, philosophical, creative (artistic/writing wise), and emotional. 3) Other than the WWE, I have no interest in sports.

This next point has no real sex stereotypes attached to it, but not being able to wear a top hat, a nice coat, dress pants, a shirt, and dress shoes in public (the top hat and the coat are the two big ones here) without being viewed as weird. Now, in my house, I am banned from wearing such attire, and I am forced to wear plain T-shirts or T-shirts with stupid childish logos on them, and regular old jeans and running shoes. Is expressing myself so wrong? Sure, you can be yourself, but you have to be like everyone else. -_-

The place in between my legs. So inconvenient!

Always being seen as a rapist by everyone, just because I am physically male.

That I am called weak just because I don't have strong arms and a six pack.

That nice guys or "nice gentlemen" always come last, and that women always want the alpha guys. Even if he turns out to be a jerk, and dumps her, she will most likely just want to be with another alpha male. Even if she gets close with a beta male, she will always want the alpha male in the end.

That I am not allowed to stylize my hair to much. By that, I mean that having (nice) brown hair that is somewhat medium length is so... boring! :/

Edited March 26, 2018 by Feather Scribbles

[ShadOBabe 18,997]

OBGYN visits. That is all I need to say.

10 minutes ago, Feather Scribbles said:

I ALWAYS respect women, and not for being women, but for being human.

And then you say bull$#!% like...

11 minutes ago, Feather Scribbles said:

That nice guys or "nice gentlemen" always come last, and that women always want the alpha guys. Even if he turns out to be a jerk, and dumps her, she will most likely just want to be with another alpha male. Even if she gets close with a beta male, she will always want the alpha male in the end.

 

[Feather Scribbles 194]

10 minutes ago, ShadOBabe said:

OBGYN visits. That is all I need to say.

And then you say bull$#!% like...

 

I am a completely different person IRL vs on-line, and sometimes I act different on different sites.

Not to mention that I wish I wasn't born a nice guy. :/ It's one thing for women to not be interested in you, but when you are almost completely ignored by them (and menly men)... :/

Edited March 26, 2018 by Feather Scribbles

[ShadOBabe 18,997]

20 minutes ago, Feather Scribbles said:

Not to mention that I wish I wasn't born a nice guy. :/ It's one thing for women to not be interested in you, but when you are almost completely ignored by them (and menly men)... :/

Hate to break it to you hon, you’re probably not the “nice guy” you think you are if you think that girls owe you attention. Or if you think anyone owes you anything. Or if you think that those “alphas” you’re jealous of are OBVIOUSLY just mentally/emotionally/morally inferior people to you.

I’d only date someone if they were my friend. I’ve had crushes on tons of different guys; different races, heights, builds, hobbies. The only common thread between them being that they were sweet, fun people.

But it also doesn’t matter how “nice” someone is. If they’re a whiny child that doesn’t take responsibility for their life, then they aren’t good life partner material.

[Feather Scribbles 194]

2 minutes ago, ShadOBabe said:

Hate to break it to you hon, you’re probably not the “nice guy” you think you are if you think that girls owe you attention. Or if you think anyone owes you anything. Or if you think that those “alphas” you’re jealous of are OBVIOUSLY just mentally/emotionally/morally inferior people to you.

I’d only date someone if they were my friend. I’ve had crushes on tons of different guys; different races, heights, builds, hobbies. The only common thread between them being that they were sweet, fun people.

But it also doesn’t matter how “nice” someone is. If they’re a whiny child that doesn’t take responsibility for their life, then they aren’t good life partner material.

I suppose I should stop paying attention to the media then.

But by me saying it sucks I am a nice guy, doesn't mean people owe me their attention. Sure, a friend or two would be nice, but I am so disappointed that I have no confidence IRL, that I have become quite bitter.

I guess I am a whiny brat after all.

At least I can see that.

Edited March 26, 2018 by Feather Scribbles

[Nature Tune 8,392]

1 hour ago, Pr0m4NV14 said:

Those random-boners that just pop up out of nowhere. It makes things awkward.

 

Dude’s can’t also like not-manly things without being called gay or something. I got picked on a lot for figure skating. 

I love figure skating, and it’s fine if men do it as well there’s really no harm 

 

1 hour ago, Pr0m4NV14 said:

Those random-boners that just pop up out of nowhere. It makes things awkward.

 

Dude’s can’t also like not-manly things without being called gay or something. I got picked on a lot for figure skating. 

I love figure skating, and it’s fine if men do it as well there’s really no harm 

 

[Twiliscael 3,960]

The unspoken but rarely broken (hey that’s a nice rhythme) rule that us dude don’t ever talk about our feelings, especially with other dudes.

 

...We feel too, man. Say what you will about us living in a more accepting, tolerating society than ever before- like most things it is a problem you encounter more IRL than online, you’ll get some funny looks and disapproval if you try to open up to other males sometimes.

[Nature Tune 8,392]

1 hour ago, Pr0m4NV14 said:

I got picked on a lot for figure skating. 

There’s no problem with that, it’s more excercise than they think. Also I love figure skating, even if I’m not professional.

[ShadOBabe 18,997]

21 minutes ago, Feather Scribbles said:

but I am so disappointed that I have no confidence IRL

Confidence isn’t something you’re born with. It’s something you have to build and take care of. Mine was shattered as a kid by merciless, repetitive bullying. I’ve had to slowly put it back together.

So answer a question for me: Do you WANT things to be better for you than they currently are?

Because if you don’t really want it, or don’t want to put in the work, then nothing will change. But if you do want things to get better, then I’ve got some advice for you.

First thing you’re gonna do is go to Google and look up exercises for building confidence and self-esteem.

Next thing you’re gonna do is look into your health insurance and find a therapist or counselor that’s covered under your plan and start going to see them regularly. Or if you’re still in school, you might be able to just go to your school counselor for free.

Next, in the morning, I want you to find a pen and write, “You are awesome” on your hand. And whenever you start feeling bad, I want you to read that.

Then you’re gonna go find a notebook. Take that notebook, go to the first page, and start writing down all the good things about you, no mater how “small” or “trivial”. ALL OF IT. And on a related note, start practicing “positive self talk”. If you wouldn’t say it to a person you love, then don’t say it to yourself.

Then I want you to start identifying all the toxic influences in your life, and begin to methodically cut them out of your life. If they are people you have no choice but to be around, then I want you to start identifying when they start spewing crap at you, and start rolling your eyes at it rather than internalizing it.

There’s more, but those should be some good starting points to help you out.

[Unity 332]

The Hair.

Unless I'm a pony it's just annoying.

[Narcissus 355]

I only dislike being female once a month. Other that that, I can't say I dislike having people treat me nicely, show me courtesy and offer me opportunities I'd not likely get otherwise. That's something I don't think I'd get as often if I were a guy. It's unfair but true. Many say girls have it so bad but that's nonsense. Both sexes have their own bonuses and drawbacks. To say one has it better than the other is stupid. It would be handy to have the physical strength and endurance of males, but I wouldn't want the constant distraction of testosterone either. Girls have to be more cautious and responsible, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. We also don't have the struggle of having to make the first move all the time when it comes to social interaction. On the other hand men don't have to deal with pregnancy and childbirth. Again, both sides have their own set of challenges, but when they compliment each other properly, those challenges find way of working out. 

[HellsWriter 100]

I would have to admit it's my body in general. For being a female, I'm pressured to look as skinny as possible because that is what is considered cutie and hot. I have huge problem with this because when I got to Hot Topic to buy clothes, the XL are like a small on me and my belly and overweight shows. I have to shop online to get XXXL in shirts so they actual fit. I also hate my chest region because the trouble of by a bra to where that is the right size. I really hate the standards that society has set for women, we should be like for who we are and not the way others want as to be and look.

[Black Sabbath 2,486]

16 hours ago, Feather Scribbles said:

This next point has no real sex stereotypes attached to it, but not being able to wear a top hat, a nice coat, dress pants, a shirt, and dress shoes in public (the top hat and the coat are the two big ones here) without being viewed as weird.

To be fair, that has nothing to do with your gender. I can 100% garment that everyone would view a girl wearing the same things as equally weird. 

[Olly 1,011]

being plain. Not being allowed to wear all the nice things girls wear. No special attention. being suspect

Edited March 27, 2018 by Olly

[Nyactis Mewcis Catlum 672]

On 3/25/2018 at 8:58 PM, Feather Scribbles said:

That nice guys or "nice gentlemen" always come last, and that women always want the alpha guys. Even if he turns out to be a jerk, and dumps her, she will most likely just want to be with another alpha male. Even if she gets close with a beta male, she will always want the alpha male in the end.

Hi. I'm a woman. I have told you numerous times why you're having trouble, in multiple threads. I was being fair in those responses and tried to be at-level with you. You haven't responded any of those times. Since it doesn't seem to be getting across to you, I'm going to be very blunt in this response.

Women want the alpha guys because they're the ones who treat them with genuine respect. They're the ones who are outright about their feelings toward these women. Women are averse to you because it's very, very clear you resent them, and every post you make oozes with this resentment.

You don't believe a word you're saying when you wax sentiment about protecting women and wanting to respect them. You say that, but your actions don't back it up. You're going through the motions because, like most people, you crave social intimacy and you think that's the way you're going to earn it. When these actions aren't met supportively, your response to it is, "What the heck? Why don't these women like me? I'm doing exactly what they want! I'm doing what they say I should do! Ugh, women are so hard to understand..." But here's the thing: you shouldn't be doing things to be a good person just to get that attention. You should be doing good things because they're the right thing to do.

You're not winning women over because, quite frankly, you're transparent. And women are generally self-respecting enough not to date someone who's going to resent them or prejudge them based on their gender.

Are there women out there who go for people who treat them badly? Sure. Are there women who pass up opportunities that would benefit them to their detriment? I could say so. But it's not, like, a system, man. It's not like these women are systematically against you, trying to beat you to the ground. And even if they were: why do you want to impress them in the first place? Why do you want women who won't respect you? Surely you want a partner who's going to love you for who you are, and not for an act you put on simply to make them like you?

Here's my word of advice: you NEED to let that resentment for women that you have go. And don't tell me you don't have it. Actions speak louder than words. Once you start seeing women as individuals rather than a collective playing to a system, you'll find you'll have much better luck with them. Also, be genuine, to yourself and to other people - don't say things that you don't believe in and don't agree with. People can see through it, and there is literally no one on this earth who likes a phony, so if you want to be liked, be honest. And really think about why people believe the things that you're saying instead of just parroting it. Why do people believe that? Do you think it's actually legitimate? If so, why? If not, why not? Give it some serious thought, not just one to two minutes. Research into claims you see on the internet. Think about why someone is an authority figure on a subject in the first place. This is your world view we're talking about here.

And lastly, have some respect for your fellow man, too. Instead of seeing these alpha men as your opponents, really examine the men with successful relationships and figure out what they have in common. If you emulate that, or at least attempt to understand it, you may find yourself having more success than you currently are treating them as enemies.

On 3/25/2018 at 9:07 PM, ShadOBabe said:

OBGYN visits. That is all I need to say.

You don't even know the agonized noise I just made. Add that to my list.

[Midnight Blaze 98 1,138]

Mainly the constant body shaming. People expect you to have a perfect figure and hair and wear short skirts, tank tops and tons of makeup. 

I’m happy in jeans and a Tshirt as a rule, and for some reason that makes me weird.

I’m also not interested at looking at other people’s photoshopped bodies on Instagram, and less so in posting my own.

Also, girls my age think that you can’t have a friend of the opposite gender without being in a relationship with them. Just a couple of weeks ago, someone saw me talking casually to a guy at the bus stop, and the next day my whole year (most of whom usually pay no attention to me other than to copy off me in tests) were obsessed with the fact that I was apparently in a relationship.

 

Edited March 27, 2018 by Midnight Blaze 98

[DJ_Bonebraker 183]

You know, all this talk about relationships reminded me of something else I hate about the gender I was assigned at birth:  Who the fucking HELL made the rule that the guy always has to ask the girl out?!  That is THE most BULLSHIT rule when it comes to relationships I can think of, and looking at it from my relatively recently-awakened non-binary perspective, it's even more bullshit, and just reinforces the whole "damsel in distress waiting on her prince" role that society still seems to be bent on forcing onto women...

[Feather Scribbles 194]

25 minutes ago, DJ_Bonebraker said:

You know, all this talk about relationships reminded me of something else I hate about the gender I was assigned at birth:  Who the fucking HELL made the rule that the guy always has to ask the girl out?!  That is THE most BULLSHIT rule when it comes to relationships I can think of, and looking at it from my relatively recently-awakened non-binary perspective, it's even more bullshit, and just reinforces the whole "damsel in distress waiting on her prince" role that society still seems to be bent on forcing onto women...

So does that mean it should be women who should be asking out men (if she/they chooses to be with a male), or should it be a fair playing field?

[DJ_Bonebraker 183]

2 minutes ago, Feather Scribbles said:

So does that mean it should be women who should be asking out men (if she/they chooses to be with a male), or should it be a fair playing field?

I think it should be a fair playing field.

[Altastrofae 933]

Getting my [bleep] hit on something countless times. My cat steps on them all the time when he's just trying to find a comfortable spot on my lap. Not very pleasant...

[Aqua shine 1,898]

i hate being a boy haveing to shave and have raddom pains

[DJ_Bonebraker 183]

13 minutes ago, CrystalBloodMoon said:

Getting my [bleep] hit on something countless times. My cat steps on them all the time when he's just trying to find a comfortable spot on my lap. Not very pleasant...

Yeah, my one cat does that all the friggin' time too, and I really hate it!  But I still love his cute fuzzy little butt.

[Altastrofae 933]

8 minutes ago, princess celestia2 said:

i hate being a boy haveing to shave and have raddom pains

At least you aren't a girl, you'd have a much worse pain and it'd be more monthly than random  If you catch my drift *wink*

[Feather Scribbles 194]

22 minutes ago, DJ_Bonebraker said:

I think it should be a fair playing field.

I did some thinking and I no longer think of this expectation as stupid, but rather as being obsolete.

Back in the day, before feminism began, women didn't work, at least not nearly as much as men. Thus, it was a man's job to find a woman (and have children to continue his family name) and it was his obligation to basically say to the woman, "Am I good enough for you? Can you trust me that I can support you?"

Nowadays of course, women make almost as much as men. (There is still the gender wage gap to conquer...) Thus, as we agree, it should be a level playing field.

It's a similar situation with divorce. Back when women could not typically support themselves without the breadwinner (the man), if a divorce occured, she needed to take half his money in order to support herself. (The man having to pay for child support also falls under this rule. These days however, women make almost as much as men do - at least enough to be able to support themselves without the requirement of a wealthy husband/partner. Yet, these rules remain - it is an example of exploitation.