critique wanted My Idea For The Final MLP Episode Ever!!! (May Turn Into A Fanfic)

[Hierok 11,831]

Just now, Harratot33 said:

If you don't mind me spoiling something (it's a massive spoiler, actually):

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My original idea would be that the second part would be all about Tirek being reformed and Twilight's group's quest to prevent Discord and then Flurry Heart from being harmed. Then, in part three, Starlight would become an allicorn and the new Princess of Friendship, and Twilight would find (possibly through Starswirl The Bearded!!) a way to communicate with dead ponies, and somehow Tirek would be able to draw Princess luna and Celestia's powers from them even though they're deceased and make Twilight the princess of the moon and Cadance the princess of the sun, and Flurry Heart and Starswirl The Bearded would be the KEY to defeating Spatium!

 

@Radience asked me about it too (now I know how he came up with it ). I said to him that I think Tirek should be evil, or at least neutral. A full redemption ark would be totally out of character, but here he has actually a role to fulfill, so this could actually work. Try to let him in his character tho. Don't try to bring it as if he turned good in 10 seconds.  Just some advice.

 

[Harratot33 93]

On 8/9/2017 at 9:01 PM, Hierok said:

@Radience asked me about it too (now I know how he came up with it ). I said to him that I think Tirek should be evil, or at least neutral. A full redemption ark would be totally out of character, but here he has actually a role to fulfill, so this could actually work. Try to let him in his character tho. Don't try to bring it as if he turned good in 10 seconds.  Just some advice.

 

I've posted Chapter 5: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/381912/5/the-coming-of-stellas-spatium/chapter-5---preparations-for-invasion Any feedback would be much appreciated, and the first part of the trilogy is nearly done, btw.

[Hierok 11,831]

2 hours ago, Harratot33 said:

I've posted Chapter 5: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/381912/5/the-coming-of-stellas-spatium/chapter-5---preparations-for-invasion Any feedback would be much appreciated, and the first part of the trilogy is nearly done, btw.

I like the idea of citizens evacuating to other places, but are those really save? It doesn't matter if they are in ponyville or another town since Spatium doesn't have a problem capturing them there too. 

[Harratot33 93]

12 hours ago, Hierok said:

I like the idea of citizens evacuating to other places, but are those really save? It doesn't matter if they are in ponyville or another town since Spatium doesn't have a problem capturing them there too. 

That's the whole point, though! Spatium enslaving or injuring them even though they're not even in the same place is a great demonstration of his immense power, in my opinion.

[Hierok 11,831]

3 hours ago, Harratot33 said:

That's the whole point, though! Spatium enslaving or injuring them even though they're not even in the same place is a great demonstration of his immense power, in my opinion.

Oh that is a great idea.  But still, if you were a ruler over your people, would you sent them to places with no protection? 

[Harratot33 93]

3 hours ago, Hierok said:

Oh that is a great idea.  But still, if you were a ruler over your people, would you sent them to places with no protection? 

It's not like Celestia and Luna have much of a choice - Spatium is coming for all of Equestria AND the entire multi-verse, isn't he; a bit of protection is better than no protection whatsoever.

[Hierok 11,831]

Just now, Harratot33 said:

It's not like Celestia and Luna have much of a choice - Spatium is coming for all of Equestria AND the entire multi-verse, isn't he; a bit of protection is better than no protection whatsoever.

Yeah, that is true, but I think they were better of under the protection of the dragons or something. Those cities are not much more then ponyville.  Sorry if I annoy you, but I like to ask myself and others this kind of questions.

[Harratot33 93]

1 minute ago, Hierok said:

Yeah, that is true, but I think they were better of under the protection of the dragons or something. Those cities are not much more then ponyville.  Sorry if I annoy you, but I like to ask myself and others this kind of questions.

Don't worry - the whole reason I made this forum was for critics such as yourself to give me advice on my work  

[Hierok 11,831]

1 minute ago, Harratot33 said:

Don't worry - the whole reason I made this forum was for critics such as yourself to give me advice on my work  

Then I'm glad I did ask these things. 

[Harratot33 93]

17 minutes ago, Hierok said:

Then I'm glad I did ask these things. 

Speaking of which: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/381912/6/the-coming-of-stellas-spatium/chapter-6---spatium-arrives 

6 minutes ago, Harratot33 said:

Speaking of which: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/381912/6/the-coming-of-stellas-spatium/chapter-6---spatium-arrives 

Whoops, there's a mistake in it! I never did come up with a Southern Simile for what Spike joining the fight is more dangerous than...  

[Hierok 11,831]

Trixie helping. Now I actually want Sunset to help too. This turned out amazing. 

[Harratot33 93]

1 minute ago, Hierok said:

Trixie helping. Now I actually want Sunset to help too. This turned out amazing. 

Thank you. And yes, I have big plans for Sunset and also Starburst believe it or not!

[Hierok 11,831]

Just now, Harratot33 said:

Thank you. And yes, I have big plans for Sunset and also Starburst believe it or not!

That would be awesome. Maybe fun to see a little more backstory of Spatium. 

[Harratot33 93]

2 minutes ago, Hierok said:

That would be awesome. Maybe fun to see a little more backstory of Spatium. 

I think the first chapter of Tirek's Reform will be a prologue detailing his poor relationship with his sisters and subsequent banishment.

[Hierok 11,831]

Just now, Harratot33 said:

I think the first chapter of Tirek's Reform will be a prologue detailing his poor relationship with his sisters and subsequent banishment.

That would be nice. 

[Harratot33 93]

On 8/11/2017 at 7:19 PM, Hierok said:

That would be nice. 

Awesome news - Coming of Stellas Spatium is now FINISHED!! The final chapter is up on Fimficiton.net and Fanfiction.net. It's a little longer than the rest, and a bit darker, I hope I didn't go too overboard with that element, but ah well, if you're still interested, what do you think? Thanks!

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/381912/7/the-coming-of-stellas-spatium/chapter-7---equestrias-new-ruler

[Hierok 11,831]

22 minutes ago, Harratot33 said:

Awesome news - Coming of Stellas Spatium is now FINISHED!! The final chapter is up on Fimficiton.net and Fanfiction.net. It's a little longer than the rest, and a bit darker, I hope I didn't go too overboard with that element, but ah well, if you're still interested, what do you think? Thanks!

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/381912/7/the-coming-of-stellas-spatium/chapter-7---equestrias-new-ruler

Do you have a picture of Spatium? It is really hard to imagine him. 

[Harratot33 93]

2 minutes ago, Hierok said:

Do you have a picture of Spatium? It is really hard to imagine him. 

I should probably draw one.

[Harratot33 93]

22 hours ago, Hierok said:

Do you have a picture of Spatium? It is really hard to imagine him. 

I've started on Tirek's Reform already; unfortunately it is only avaliable on Fanfiction.net because the first chapter is not quite 1,000 words long.

[Hierok 11,831]

24 minutes ago, Harratot33 said:

I've started on Tirek's Reform already; unfortunately it is only avaliable on Fanfiction.net because the first chapter is not quite 1,000 words long.

Do you have a link when I can see it? 

[Harratot33 93]

Just now, Hierok said:

Do you have a link when I can see it? 

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12612767/1/Tirek-s-Reform

[Hierok 11,831]

40 minutes ago, Harratot33 said:

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12612767/1/Tirek-s-Reform

Thank you! 

Is Spatium his later size here? I would like it when he used the spell he changed his design.  

[Harratot33 93]

15 minutes ago, Hierok said:

Thank you! 

Is Spatium his later size here? I would like it when he used the spell he changed his design.  

Erhm...I've never really thought about it, but great idea!

[Hierok 11,831]

1 minute ago, Harratot33 said:

Erhm...I've never really thought about it, but great idea!

That's why I am here. 

[Harratot33 93]

22 hours ago, Hierok said:

That's why I am here. 

What rating should I give Tirek's Reform? I've rated it T due to the new chapter referencing the Princess' "corpses" and "Twilight feeling as if her heart is about to explode out of her chest.", and for overall having a much darker tone than the show. Is all that too strong for an E, or am I being overly-paranoid; I just don't want to get in trouble for giving it the wrong rating.