mega thread How are you feeling?

Tropical Melody · November 17, 2022

Chilly! And weather is lousy.

However I like the sound of the rain.

Edited November 17, 2022 by Tropical Melody
Appendix.

ZiggWheelsManning · November 18, 2022

8 hours ago, Tropical Melody said:

Chilly! And weather is lousy.

However I like the sound of the rain.

Had to deal with lousy cold weather outside most of the day.

Savy · November 18, 2022

Feeling somehow wide awake right now. Not sure how long that'll last though.

Splashee · November 18, 2022

Feeling like I can’t get a 70s song out of my mind…. Feeling like I shouldn’t try.

Sir Hugsalot · November 18, 2022

Glad that this working week is over, honestly.

It's been a long one, full of stress, pressure and very unnecesarry complications, courtesy of lack of proper organization and information flow. At times I felt like a burden to people dear to me, because it is that much harder to stay positive, when You get drained as soon as the Sun rises and need to be literally pushed to wake up from it. I am grateful to have people, who "tolerate" me at my worst too ;-;

But I think next week will be better. In no small part, because the winter has finally arrived and winter means smaller traffic at work. I can clean up the mess in documents and have a serious conversation about why being stern about work organization is important. I don't expect it to magically solve everything, but at least I will finally say my part instead of just fixing other people's mistakes.

Tropical Melody · November 18, 2022

This week, I shall mostly be using candy brohoof as smile / like / hugs .....

Tao · November 18, 2022

Middle grounded I might say, I was looking foward to some short work shifts this week but I also took extra hours given tis that time of seasons.

And we also are in the middle of a freaking snow storm >_>

Verdant Shy · November 18, 2022

Feeling pretty good today.

Clawdeen · November 18, 2022

Really tired but also fine?

They call me Loyalty · November 18, 2022

Well, last night I started hitting the side of my arm against a wall, then picked up a broom and snapped it against the bathtub before smashing the sink in half with it.

I don't know what is going on with me. But I remember being like this since childhood. And I have tried to tell the people I am living with about my "condition", especifically about my emotionally manipulative tendencies, my anger issues, etc. Because I am sick and tired of myself. But they don't wanna lose hope, which makes me feel even worse. Yet it doesn't fix the schizm or the self-hatred.

And sometimes I like to pretend it is an act. But when I look in the mirror, the genetic defects are visible in my physical appearance. Which is what prompted this violent outburts to begin with, as it was the case with my father. There is damage present in the chromosomes of this family. Causing various disorders, among which there are these erratic swings between the autistic self-abandonment and the psychotic episodes. As I saw it happening with other family members. It is hereditary.

If I had to describe the feeling. I would say it is an state of chronic anxiety causing a stress disorder because of various bodily discompensations. So, you are constantly looking for the next high. Which explains why I consumed so much sugar as a kid, or the reason I spent 24 hours playing video games. Because otherwise, my mind starts to collapse, leading to dissociation or even a mental break.

The problem is that my family never wanted to aknowledge this, or even do therapy. Not that this would fix the genetic damage or change the truth. Since there is only one truth. But I'm feeling a little better after remodeling the bathroom. Heh. Now it looks like I feel inside.

Edited November 18, 2022 by They call me Loyalty

Savy · November 18, 2022

Feeling happy cause I played Pokemon Violet all day.

Clawdeen · November 18, 2022

I’m still tired lol. But it’s been a good day other than being tired lol

Splashee · November 19, 2022

Another week already? I am feeling 13,900.

Prospekt · November 20, 2022

Wide awake. And I really shouldn't be. It's a consequence of getting scheduled for a night shift (because all new hires at my job are required to work one as part of their orientation process) and then having to work a daytime shift with only a day to recuperate. And I never once worked a night shift before last night :lostit: