MLP pony jokes and puns

[I used to be a stranger 7,989]

Scientists once built a wall of iron and crashed a diamond car into it at 400 miles per hour, and the car was unharmed.

 

They then built a wall out of diamond and crashed a car made of iron moving at 400 miles per hour into the wall, and the wall came out fine.

 

They then crashed a diamond car made of 400 miles per hour into a wall. There were no survivors.

 

They crashed 400 miles per hour into a diamond travelling at an iron car. Western New York was without power for hours.

Edited January 16, 2012 by Blue

[Lady Rarity Pony 4,892]

9/11 jokes are disrespectful and disgusting.

5 Muslims died on that day

NEVER FORGET!

[NeverNeverland 1,940]

"Here's a story. Last night, when I was at the pub a burglar broke into my house."

"Did he get anything?"

"Yeah, a broken jaw and six teeth knocked out. The wife thought it was me coming home drunk!"

 

Always give 100% at work... 12% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday and 5% on Friday. And if you feel like you're really having a bad day, remember that it takes 42 muscles to frown and only 4 to extend your finger and flip them off. Now get back to work!!

[ScottishUnicorn 284]

What is red and smells like blue paint?

 

Red paint.

[Guest]

I came up with this one myself!

 

Why were the Russian tzars always so bad at ruling their country... because they were always roamin-off!

[Lady Rarity Pony 4,892]

I came up with this one myself!

 

Why were the Russian tzars always so bad at ruling their country... because they were always roamin-off!

 

I love that xD

...but now Rasputin will eat you

[Guest]

I love that xD

...but now Rasputin will eat you

 

[Jozzeh 125]

Doesn't churches that got lightning rods show a lack of faith?

[Swoop 2,276]

Here's something I spotted on the West Gate Freeway.

Australian advertisement at its absolute finest I'd say:

 

 

 

[Lady Rarity Pony 4,892]

I do hope someone understood my joke <.<

[NeverNeverland 1,940]

What gun can you make out of cards? An AK-47! *badum-tch!*

 

...

 

...well that was corny. Here's a class comedian to make up for that.

 

 

 

[Twilight Sparkle ✨ 8,520]

This thread appears to be a forum game, or something spammy of the sort. Thus, it has been sentenced to Cloudsdale Colosseum.

 

This is an automatically generated message, by the way.

[Aureity 3,055]

0_o

 

 

Here's another:

 

 

Edited January 16, 2012 by Aureity

[Fizz. 1,078]

Why did the girl fall off a swing?

 

She had no arms!

 

*bah dum bsh*

 

 

Also, I gestapo we should stop with the Holocaust jokes, they're not reich.

[Radiance64 7,051]

I sold my car... for gas money.

[hwrogers 168]

i think i got censored, that or i failed to post my first joke... here's a different one;

how do crazy people get through the woods? they take the psycho path

 

(yes i'm cheating with a book of oneliners)

drive carefully; 90% of people are accidents.

[Zero000 435]

A guy walked into a bar and said "ow".

[Doctor XFizzle 8,651]

A brunette, redhead, and a blonde were in the desert and were exhausted. They suddenly stumbled upon a genie lamp and rubbed it. The genie emerged and said, "I will grant each of you 1 wish."

 

The brunette went first and said, "I wish for a canteen full of unlimited water." "Done," the genie replied and gave the brunette her canteen.

 

The redhead was next and said, "I wish for a fan that runs on unlimited power". "Your wish is my command," replied the genie and gave the redhead her fan.

 

The blonde was last and said, "I wish for a car door so I can roll the window down."

[Guest]

What do you call someone who counts their chickens before they are hatched.

 

Egg-specting.

 

What sort of pun has to do with eggs?

 

A bad yoke!

 

What looks like a chicken, acts like a chicken, and sounds like a chicken?

 

Scootaloo! If you don't get it see here: http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/pony-re-imaginings

[hwrogers 168]

more kym, awesome, now a joke;

 

there are worse things than getting a wrong-number call at 4am. it could be a right number.

[Tom 890]

There are two chickens on either side of the road.

One chicken asks: "How do I get to the other side?"

The other chicken replies: "You are on the other side."

[NeverNeverland 1,940]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9MGOckIzlU&feature=g-user-lik&context=G2a0e36cUCGXQYbcTJ33ZvMfyzfnGZKhQrtkUMTanU1OAlw6g_eY8

[I used to be a stranger 7,989]

Plan B is not automatically 200% more gunpowder than Plan A.

[hwrogers 168]

well that depends on what calibers are used in the two different plans...

[NeverNeverland 1,940]

Don't think you guys would like it.