MLP pony jokes and puns

[Silly Lily 80]

- Sweetie Belle looked at the dinner menu and the courses. She really liked the main.

- Applebloom: "Applejack, look! I got my cutie mark on this picture! I'm going to be an paleontologist" Applejack: "That's an ex-ray"

- Spike is getting sick: "I'm a little hoarse today". Twilight, "No, you're a little dragon"

- Applejack: "I'm a bit low on bits, but I do have horse cents"

- (think Stare Master) Fluttershy: Twilight, why weren't you answering my calls? + Twilight: I was stoned.

 

(These require images for the joke, so I hope it works)

 

In Soviet Everfree Forest

 

Pussy licks you!

 

 

 

Why is Princess Molestia always like that?

 

she's always horny

 

 

 

If Derpy when insane like the mane cast, what would she do?

 

she goes postal

 

 

 

Why do they call her Princess Luna?

 

Because the moon just came out.

 

 

 

and one last one

 

- How does Rainbow Dash make some money? She makes change in the weather (oh yeah!... works on so many levels)

Edited August 9, 2012 by Silly Lily

[GrooveBroove 680]

These are pretty good. Especially the lasy one with rainbow dash.

I know personally I couldn't come up with anything half as clever.

[Pinkie D Pie 1,035]

The Luna one. Oh my gosh that picture.is a win. Um you didn't read anything. But yes those were funny and made me laugh pretty badly.

[Jack Durango 119]

If Yo Mama jokes count...

 

Yo mama so lonely that Celestia now banishes ponies to her instead of the moon.

 

Yo mama so ugly she turned Steven Magnet to stone and Discord into a metrosexual.

 

Yo mama so ugly her cutie mark refused to show so it wouldn't have to be attached to her.

 

Yo mama so fat that it was a weight even Trixie couldn't boast about.

 

Yo mama so dumb that when she got into a battle of wits with Snails, she lost. Reason why? It was all she could handle to remain focused on breathing.

 

Yo mama so dumb, when she learns a lesson in friendship, she waits for the princess to tell her about it.

 

One day, Pinkie Pie got the shivers again- her Pinkie Sense was telling her another doozy was on its way. That same day, yo fat mama said she was going to start exercising. Pinkie exploded. Twilight proclaimed "This isn't scientifically possible!" Rarity said "Of all the worst things that could happen!" Rainbow Dash froze mid-Sonic Rainboom. Fluttershy went to live in the land of dragons. Applejack bucked an empty apple tree and the apples flew up to reattach. Celestia said, "Damn, the moon can't support that kind of weight." Luna tugged on her big sister's hair and said "If this is what's happening, I'd like to be banished again."

[Some_random_guy 1,857]

That Luna pic...

but seriously those puns were funny.

 

Let me try some.

What is Equestria's official pie flavor? Pinkie Pie Flavor.

Why do the vampires in Twilight Sparkle?

[Tank Legend 19]

Ok the first jokes where awesome but the Yo Mama jokes were just icing on the cake. I am now filled with joy.

[Acoustic Cloud 2,202]

thumbs up to that twightlight sparkle one! lol

 

I'm usually full of puns but i'm drawing a blank...flank (not really pun intended)

but that will have to do, i will be back with more!

[Rainbow Dash Loyalty 1,274]

Did you guys know Pinkie Pie made her own pun on the show about Spike lol

Oh Pinkie, you so craz-eh

[Fluffykins the Cat 139]

Hay, Peels here! This is the Pony Puns area! You can make, or read Pony Puns here!

 

I'll start with some Pony Puns.

"Doctor Whooves? Whooves he?"

"That's Rarity to find!" (Rarity sounds like Rare)

"Hay, you can use my Scootaloo if you want." (Scootaloo sounds like Scooter)

"Use that Screwdriver to loosen the Colts." (Colt rmimes with Bolts)

"Discord will fix your electrisity!" (Dis Cord, get it?)

 

That's some of the Pony Puns I can think of right now, ask me to post some more or make your own Pony Puns here.

[MVC NVMXD JVRXD 2,406]

The puns! They're so immense.

Wouldn't like, every pony city be a pun? I mean with names like Fillydelphia and Las Pegasus, they're obviously going for parodies of real places.

[Ezio Auditore 702]

What do you call an oversized apple desktop?

A Big Macintosh

 

What do you call a baby dragon who steps into a cloning machine?

A Population Spike

Edited August 27, 2012 by Ezio Auditore

[Vulpes 26]

I Canterlot (can't) stop myself from posting in this thread, call me a maneiac (maniac).

 

I saw this thread and said "I hoof (have) to come up with some ideas."

 

I'm equine (a queen) of puns.

 

I won't stallion (stall) to make up anything cheesy, I won't stirrup (stir up) anything inappropriate though!

 

I'll pony (pown any) pun that comes my way, whip (with) pizzazz too!

 

I behoove (hoove) you to watch ponies!

 

It's a nightmare (night mare) waiting or season 3!

 

Those puns were incredibly corny, but they are all I got, so... For the sheer level of cheesy I earn the "Carlos!" badge... If you don't know I mean magic school bus, if you still don't know your childhood must have been lackluster xP

Edited August 31, 2012 by Vulpes

[Silverwisp the Bard 2,353]

I don't quite know why, but I feel Pipsqueaks custome at Nightmare Night went a bit to fARRRR

[Staticthor Draconus 958]

Q: What do you call an androgynous member of a famous metal group?

A: A uni-Korn.

 

What's the difference between an earth pony and a unicorn?

One's more horny.

 

What do you call a pony who happens to live near you?

A neigh-bour.

 

Why was the unicorn banned from Facebook?

Medical bills from all the poking.

 

What Equestrian leader was in office during the country's worst economic depression?

Herbert Hoofer.

 

What do you call a pony working at a financial institution?

A bank flank.

 

What do you call a pony who scrutinizes over every single little detail?

A micro-maneager.

 

What's Fluttershy's favourite Doctor Who monster?

The Silence.

 

What's Big Macintosh's favourite drink?

Colt .45

 

What's Sweetie Belle's favourite children's book series?

Whinny the Pooh.

Edited August 28, 2012 by Staticthor Draconus

[DR Leper Lupinstein 410]

does anybody have a mlp joke?

 

Chuck norris destroyed the elements of harmony, because chuck norris only regognizes the element of surprise.

[Argos 191]

(content has been removed)

Edited March 16, 2014 by Argos

[Leafeon 2,701]

Eenope.

 

I'm much better at references then jokes. So nope. Most things that have to do with Celestia, that have the punchline of THE MOOOON

[Nixter 180]

I'd love to date a pony, it's a stable relationship!

 

er

 

not exactly MLP but ponies no less, that counts right? 

 

hurr hurr hurr stables

[PonyHag1 591]

Why does Twilight Sparkle?

Because Rainbow Dashed.

 

Spike: Pinkie Pie, what's two and two?

Pinkie: That's easy...sixteen!

Spike: Pinkie, two and two is not sixteen.

Pinkie: Sure it is! There's two apple pies baking in that oven, and two baking in the other oven. Applejack is going to sell them for four bits apiece, and that makes sixteen!

Spike: *faints*

 

Twilight: Hurry, Spike...it's time for Winter Wrap-Up!

Spike: And I have the perfect solution! *holds up a box of Saran Wrap*

Twilight: It's not that kind of wrap up...

Spike: I wish you'd told me before I wrapped up the Princess.

 

Fluttershy: Are you watching the Super Bowl, Pinkie Pie?

Pinkie: I sure am! I'm not taking my eyes off it!

Fluttershy: *looks in to see Pinkie staring at her giant popcorn bowl*

 

 

 

Rainbow Dash: What would you like on your pizza, Spike?

Spike: My teeth!

 

What did Spitfire say when she saw an album of Wonderbolt songs in a music store?

"It's an Academy record!"

Edited February 4, 2013 by PonyHag1

[Inactive01 5,298]

Did you know that the heart has what is called an atrial kick? The atrial kick makes the ventricles 20% fuller for contraction into the rest of the body. Also, the muscles that are connected to the valves that open and close between the atria and ventricles are named after Lyra Heartstrings; they are called Heartstrings after all :3 

[Harmonic Revelations 8,833]

Did you know that the heart has what is called an atrial kick? The atrial kick makes the ventricles 20% fuller for contraction into the rest of the body. Also, the muscles that are connected to the valves that open and close between the atria and ventricles are named after Lyra Heartstrings; they are called Heartstrings after all :3 

You wrote a heart felt response in a thread that is focusing on jokes, puns, and other non sense? What blasphemy is this? Why would you do that?

 

That's right, I make reaction pictures now. Just because of that comment. May George have mercy on your soul.

Edited February 4, 2013 by Harmonic Revelations

[Scootalove 10,684]

Why did Rarity say that she wears fake eyelashes?

- Because, she felt if anyone found out about them. She would be lashing out on the other ponies.

[PonyHag1 591]

Spike: Pinkie Pie, what's the square root of 64?

Pinkie: Zecora!

Spike: Pinkie...Zecora is not the square root of 64.

Pinkie: Yes, she is...I saw her collecting plants for a potion and she told me she needed to find a tree with square roots, and she needed 64 of them! How many did you think she needed? 8?

Spike: *faints*

[Erza 581]

We only post jokes here!
I'll start.

Why do many people have different blood species?
.

So mosquitoes can enjoy different blood flavors!!!

*Da tum tss*

 

[Display Name 448]

  I don't do jokes. 

Edited March 18, 2013 by KToadstool