condolences over the internet

[Motion Spark 7,807]

"my thoughts and prayers for the affected"

 

"my heart goes out to the families"

 

"I'll pray for them"

 

These sentences now are the hot thing to say on the internet (media) in sad and devastating situations such as this recent Conneticut shooting. Not only for shootings like these, also when someone dies. 

 

My morbid mind doesn't leave me alone and takes me to read news and watch videos about the tragic news, but something that draws my attention...

 

the comment section of whatever site I'm visiting.

 

I cannot help but notice the same pattern in many of the comments, using the sentences that I showed above. Not only "common" people do that. The so called "celebrities" have the duty to give their condolences over twitter, because that gives them more popularity (wether they seek it or not) and they also use the same pattern for commenting on the events.

 

My point is, Do they actually feel or understand the words that they are typing out?, do they know the magnitude of these words. When I see a comment like this, I wonder, "bitch!...have you ever said prayer in your whole life?"

 

I find it rather annoying when people writes obviously fake comments expressing their condolences with fake statements, but at the same time, I stumble upon some nice, thoughtful and moving comments, that make you feel their pain and compassion. This is media's fault for whoring these kind of sentences and turning us into hypocritical persons for telling something that we won't do.

 

I say this because today I just saw the most stupid comment ever about this subject. Today I was watching a video of a father of one of the deceased children on youtube, after the video I went to the comments, and obviously there was a flame war going on, when I saw a girl comment something like "The comments are so rude I'm gonna pray for the families not to read these comments", this was so stupid I wished I could get my hand in my computer screen and slap her face when was sipping a drink. Please take this seriously.

 

Seriously are the afftected in your thoughts? "my heart goes out to you" what does that even mean?

 

I admit that I do not pray, it's just not one of my practices, but I have prayed before, when I'm really sad. But I just can't bring myself to say something like that if I know that I'm not going to do it, or will forget as soon as I go to sleep. A simple "I'm sorry for the victims" would suffice because at least I mean it.

 

so what's your stand?

Edited December 16, 2012 by Motion Spark

[One 498]

The fact that they took their time to write something shows that they atleast care a little (even if they care about public opinion more than what actualy happened).

[Victor van Dort 202]

I might get some hate over this, but buck it. No offense to those who lost loved ones in any major tragic event in history, but I couldn't care less, and people in my position shouldn't either. I was epiphanized by a video on YouTube by ADoseOfBuckley on Buckley's views on 9/11. The video consists of him saying that for those who have lost loved ones in 9/11, it's okay for them to grieve over their deaths, but he finds it annoying when people who weren't close to being directly affected say "I feel so bad about the lives lost in 9/11, in fact, I'm going to mourn over their deaths", Buckley's reason for being annoyed that if we were to practice mourning over every lost innocent person, we wouldn't have time to do anything else.

Edited December 31, 2012 by Azurepony4269

[khaine21x3 789]

The fact that they took their time to write something shows that they atleast care a little (even if they care about public opinion more than what actualy happened).

The media care more about ratings and profit

 

The celebrities only cared about it for the publicity

 

The average joe only wanted to use the incident to push their political agenda

 

Just humans being humans

[MorningFlash 214]

Well, I think they're just saying that they care about them and the affected, nothing more and nothing less.

Though, when people say "I will have them in my prayers" even though the person is not religious really annoys me, although I'm not religious myself.

[XrosOver 613]

I understand this completely (or at least I think I do). You think that celebrities and some other individuals only do it because it is either habitual or mandatory in a sense.

 

Everyone is giving prayers but only some are giving care. How about instead of well wishing you actually send some food or a care package to the devasted families.

 

(This is typed as to what I would have said to a person who typed a message)

[Motion Spark 7,807]

The fact that they took their time to write something shows that they atleast care a little (even if they care about public opinion more than what actualy happened).

this is just a portion of what media is doing to us, they are turning us slowly into shallow and empty individuals.

 

I understand this completely (or at least I think I do). You think that celebrities and some other individuals only do it because it is either habitual or mandatory in a sense.

 

Everyone is giving prayers but only some are giving care. How about instead of well wishing you actually send some food or a care package to the devasted families.

 

(This is typed as to what I would have said to a person who typed a message)

that's a very good point, there are people who send letters and packages to the affected...usually thse people don't post on the internet for having their 15 minutes or fame, or they are not rich or famous.

[SørenWolf 227]

that's a very good point, there are people who send letters and packages to the affected...usually thse people don't post on the internet for having their 15 minutes or fame, or they are not rich or famous.

 

These are the people who truly care. When you give something and do not expect anything in return; not glory, fame, or in some cases even thanks, that shows that you truly care. 

[Mephala 2,633]

I do write these types of things, albeit more realistically, but unlike many I actually feel it and try to help if possible. Actions speak far louder than words, especially ones that people don't mean.

The only reason I write these things over the Internet is because people can't see me, and body language is the most potent form of communication. If you can't see the person it's very hard to tell if they're genuine, and there's only so many ways to express sorrow in words.

Even if I wasn't affected, a loss of life is a tragedy, and I'd like to try to help an affected family. The dead are dead; it's the living who must go on and need help.

Edited December 16, 2012 by PinkieDaShy

[Obsidian_Winter 1,159]

As a pony with a big heart and a mother, I do feel for these people. I admit I held my little one a little closer and even let her sleep in my bed over the weekend because I knew there were families who couldn't do that anymore because of what happened. People die everyday but sometimes something happens thats so horrible you just can't help but feel moved for it. Its like you try to process it but you just can't you know? So when I say I feel for these people, when I say my thoughts are with them its because they are and I pray I never have to know what its like to lose a child.

[RockinRarity 1,605]

I recently read a cracked.com article that highlighted this sort of behavior from people.

 

http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-things-you-learn-quickly-about-internet-hate/

 

Scroll down to #3. They say it way better than I ever could.

Edited December 16, 2012 by RockinRarity

[Ranma 37]

I don't know this kind of this depends on the person as well... celebrity or not.. really don't get what the big deal is on this kind of post...... I'm no religious guy that prays every night or goes to church.. or anything like that.... but hearing about these types of f****d up massacres that happen for absolutely no reason at all... it does sadden me to hear about them - especially on an elementary school.... sorry of my language offends but i really don't see what saying "you feel for the families" .. i for one am also one that rarely sheds a tear any more... this didn't make me cry.. though it really did wrench my heart.. especially this being so close to the holidays the parents/families will probably take some time to get over something like this.

 

seeing a celebrity calling out saying they feel for the families... i don't think its for publicity at all... hell i didn't even know anything happened till i saw Andrea Libman's tweet about a tragedy... then eventually someone else on my friends list dropped a link... but some some celebrities... especially ones with children (i.e Tara Strong) i can see them saying they feel for the victims... being i'm sure the mind automatically goes to "what if that was my kids school, what if it was my kids that got shot and killed" one doesn't prepare for this type of thing and its obviously shocking as hell to hear about... i have no kids of my own.. but i do have 2 nieces... now how the hell would i feel if all of a sudden i heard their school was shot up..... i would probably be a complete mess...

 

any non-celebrity that has kids i'm sure are the ones that are hit hardest even hearing about this kind of thing........ though after saying all this i have yet to say "i feel for the victims" in any comments or anything like that... but inside... i really does hit me... i just sikens me that stuff like this still happens.....

[Moon Rat 4,772]

I will say, some of the responses do seem rather forced on, like they feel like they HAVE to do it or they think their reputation will collapse

 

 

so all-in-all, I guess it is more of a reputation thing than an actual "I'm sorry for your loss" type of deal :/

[RockinRarity 1,605]

@@Ranma, I do understand your points as well. In that sense, for as huge of a tragedy as this, I think that it is appropriate for some people to make comments about it, to at least get the word out.

 

But at the same time, you shouldn't feel forced to comment on it. It is possible for you to have your heart wrenched over this sort of thing without posting it on Twitter. When I heard about this, I didn't feel like I needed to post about it on Facebook. I feel like whatever I had to say about it at the time would not contribute anything new to the situation, and if I did have something to say later, it would get turned into a heated debate, which I don't want on my Facebook page.

 

The shooting on Friday shows us how dark the world can be sometimes. That evil exists and that it destroys lives - literally and figuratively. This should be an eye-opener about how wrong the world is - not just because America doesn't have enough gun control, or because America has too much gun control - because that sort of thing doesn't get to the root of the problem. Rather, it should be opening our eyes to the fact that we are doing a lot of things wrong if there are people who turn out like this. Not necessarily collectively, but I think that the mass media and Hollywood can be blamed at least in some way, such as the way the media portrays these massive school shootings, or maybe even something as simple as violent movies, TV shows, and video games, which can glorify violence for people who are not mentally stable. Now, I'm no Jack Thompson, and I don't think that violence in the media has a direct correlation with violence in people, but I don't think that it is helping, either. If they learn that violence is OK through video games before they learn that violence is morally wrong, then I think there is a real problem with the way we are raising our children.

 

A problem like this can't be fixed with just sympathy. Nor can it be fixed with tighter gun control laws or looser gun control laws. We have to get to the root of the problem before we can go into the right direction - and many of us are afraid to do that. We would rather throw our sympathies on Facebook and then demand different gun control laws before we can help anyone who is crying on the inside.

[Alleviate 342]

That the media could take the very meaning of our messages away....

But yes, I agree, it IS annoying seeing these same few messages, usually fakely concerned with whatever the problem was.

I mean, it is nice to see people care, but when they can't think of something even mildly individual to say, that annoys me, and makes the others look a bit bad.

 

I think this is a bit of a risky topic though, I mean, what about those people that DID lose someone, or knows someone involved, what if they used one of those messages? ...Chances are, they wouldn't, they would already have said something in a more meaningful manner...But always gotta think of these things, right?

[I used to be a stranger 7,993]

This post has been redacted by the author.

Edited May 6, 2021 by Blue

[Shadow Chaser 633]

"Everyone is religious under fire."  That's what my old chief told me once when we were discussing God and prayers.

 

I don't think it's necessarily a whether or not they care moment.  They care enough to write the words, so it's not a far and away chance that they do really care about the people affected.  Granted, there are always going to be the people who write it just to write it cuz it's the popular thing to do at the moment.  But when you hear about loss of life on a massive scale lots of people choose to take a step back and really evaluate their lives and what is and isn't important.

 

I had a friend who, after 9/11, became deeply religious.  He didn't want to believe that people could be that cruel for no reason and he turned to God and the church for support.  And he is now one of those people who always writes about praying for people.  You can think that some random person doesn't really care, and maybe they don't.  But I choose to believe that the people that write things like that do mean it.  Whether they're praying to their God or just thinking happy thoughts at the people affected.

 

And sometimes, words and prayers are the only thing people have to offer.  I never made a Facebook post or a tweet about praying for the victims in Newtown, but I thought it.  I hope that they're at peace and, if there is an afterlife, I hope they're doing okay.  But that's about all I can offer them, is a compassionate thought, because I'm currently out of work and barely making ends meet.  I'd love to send them something of value, money, food or anything I can.  But I cannot afford to.

 

When it all boils down, it's not about whether that person really cares or not.  Do you believe they care?  That's the line between optimists and pessimists.

 

And the better question, do you care?  Because it's not about judging others on their thoughts or actions.  It's about you and your connection to others as human beings.  I think people that don't care, that don't feel anything at all for those lost, are missing a key part of life.

[Spring Storm 276]

It's tough to deduce whether someone is being genuine or not when they say "my heart goes out to all those who lost such-and-such", especially over Internet comments. Some are, others aren't, and while it can seem forced at times, I think it's good that a lot of people do it, because the families might see the comments and feel a little more loved.