The Corrupted Wish Game

[Duality 10,740]

Granted, but you have to take 73 pills for breakfast, 49 for lunch, 81 for dinner, and 32 at random intervals throughout the day.

I wish for a purdy unicorn.

 

[Patty Thundersnow 4,163]

Granted, but it's Littlepip.

I wish for a day where it rains all day.

[CinemaBrony 1,276]

Granted. The rain's so heavy that it floods whichever town you live in.

I wish to be the very best, like no one ever was.

[Patty Thundersnow 4,163]

1 hour ago, CinemaBrony said:

Granted. The rain's so heavy that it floods whichever town you live in.

I wish to be the very best, like no one ever was.

Too late, already seen that twice this year

Granted, however you're only the best at building sandcastles.
I wish to be better at math.

[Duality 10,740]

Granted, but you're only better at knot theory. All other higher-order mathematics elude you.

I wish for a sword.

[Prospekt 11,018]

Granted, but it's made out of styrofoam. Try not to hit anything/anyone too hard.

I wish I could be in two places at once. 

[Duality 10,740]

Granted, but only because you're in a Terminator movie and your future self travelled back in time to warn you that you're going to get terminated. Unfortunately, you didn't manage to warn yourself in time to save your life.

I wish for a pet capybara.

[Nitumby 154]

Granted, but it eats like a billy goat, eventually devouring your bed, your wallet, your clothes, and your face.

I wish I could get good Wi-Fi out here.

[Will Guide 21,360]

Granted, The Wi-Fi is flawless, but what you get online is junk and no fun stuff.

I wish Unicorn Will Guide(me) and Changeling Will Guide(my literal soulmate) could physically meet face to face.

[Lunar Echo 10,335]

Granted but you must eat a different type of cake each day of your choosing. 

 

I want a bowl of cereal.

[Will Guide 21,360]

Granted, but it's Kix, the most favor-less cereal ever!

I wish that religion wasn't against homosexuals

[DixonTheAdversary 1,632]

Granted, but with this wish you cause all religions to now be against heterosexuality, bisexuality and asexuality. This causes history to be rewritten and mass genocides occur to anyone who is hetero, bi or asexual. Humanity is eventually wiped out.

I wish for a classic car.

[Will Guide 21,360]

Granted, but it breaks down as soon as you use it.

I wish I thought of more witty comebacks.

[Duality 10,740]

Granted, but you only think of them 25 minutes after they cease to be relevant.

I wish for a Porsche.

[Will Guide 21,360]

Granted, but it's Sally from Pixar's Cars.

I wish I could be able to do my own art professionally,  instead of relying on others to do it for me.

[Patty Thundersnow 4,163]

Granted, but you can only draw Equestria Girls related artwork

I wish to be a better cook.

[Will Guide 21,360]

17 minutes ago, Penguinbrony24 said:

Granted, but you can only draw Equestria Girls related artwork

I wish to be a better cook.

What's the downside? I love Equestria Girls!

Okay, you're better at cooking, but still you'll,never become Iron Chef. *evil laugh*

[NullAccount 287]

Granted, but you didn't make a wish, so nothing happens and you realize that that you might have just wasted your one chance to have a wish granted. 

I wish I was able to access the computer version of mlpforums.com on my phone, like I could before it updated.

[Will Guide 21,360]

Granted, but now all desktop computer viewings of the site are stuck in mobile mode.

I wish I was better at controlling my rage against people who tick me off!

[NullAccount 287]

Granted, but they are all abducted by aliens before they see that you have changed, so they don't know how you are now, and you live with the guilt of knowing that you never got to apologize before they disappeared. 

I wish that the wish that my friend just made for his friend to be here comes true. 

[Windchime 184]

Granted. A day late.

I wish for a good night's rest.

[Duality 10,740]

Granted, but the night shall last... FOREVER!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!

I wish for a Luna.

[NullAccount 287]

Granted, by she is Nightmare moon. 

I wish I had good wifi. 

[Tilgoreth 1,915]

38 minutes ago, FlutterFly761 said:

Granted, by she is Nightmare moon. 

I wish I had good wifi. 

Granted but all your electronics explode before you can use it.

I wish a free Nintendo switch would arrive in the mail tommorow.

[Will Guide 21,360]

Granted, but you'll only have 1,2, Switch to play on it and no one to play it with!

I wish my handmade Mario cap could actually let me "Capture" people and objects like in the upcoming Super Mario Odyssey