Benefits of Being Different

[Shawn Parks 1,798]

There are often characters in TV shows and movies that say such lines as:  "I wish that I were more like everyone else, so that people would like me."  They are mocked for being different, and desire to be friends with the people who mock them.  But I wonder, why would you want to be friends with people who behave that way?  I also wonder if being different has a benefit in bringing out the true nature in those around you.  

[Le Kvlt Dawn 2,364]

Gee, I don't know. I've always gotten a lot of shit from other people for liking stuff that isn't considered normal. I just don't trust people very easily, not after what they did to me in middle school.

[Shawn Parks 1,798]

Gee, I don't know. I've always gotten a lot of shit from other people for liking stuff that isn't considered normal. I just don't trust people very easily, not after what they did to me in middle school.

 

If you did like what was considered "normal," and those people had been your friends - would that have been a good thing, do you think?  Or are you better off not having social relationships with the type of people who mock others for being different? 

[Le Kvlt Dawn 2,364]

If you did like what was considered "normal," and those people had been your friends - would that have been a good thing, do you think?  Or are you better off not having social relationships with the type of people who mock others for being different? 

I'd still rather be all alone, than hang out with a group of sheep. Sheep and their sheapards, they both disgust me. I do not wish to associate myself with them.

Edited April 13, 2013 by AtDawnTheySquee

[Planty 1,052]

There are often characters in TV shows and movies that say such lines as:  "I wish that I were more like everyone else, so that people would like me."  They are mocked for being different, and desire to be friends with the people who mock them.  But I wonder, why would you want to be friends with people who behave that way?  I also wonder if being different has a benefit in bringing out the true nature in those around you.  

 

I think being different can be a barrier.

 

Most people follow the crowed to not get bullied (particularly in middle school) but once you get to know people you find out that they are not as "normal" as you think they are. I never really broadcasted what i liked until i knew people and had good friends aground me. They then more readily accepted my quirks and I found they had "odd" interests i shared as well but where also hiding them.

[Courageous Thunder Dash 7,809]

At my college, people are very open and accepting to those who are different. I have told various people there that I like My Little Pony, and they say things like "Hey, that's cool." or "I respect that." This is a sign of how open these people are, and this is how we should be treated. 

 

People could recognize what makes you you and how extraordinary you are. That's why I'm so grateful for who I am. 

[Circadian 1,273]

Ever notice how people always say that everybody is different?

 

 

If everybodys different, nobody is. The truth is, you and me are both completely average in every way.

Edited April 13, 2013 by Circadian

[Homura Akemi 974]

If you're different in a way that amuses, entertains, enlightens, or benefits other people, they will like you. Perhaps you are a hyper-active class clown who is nice to everyone. You may be labeled as "different," but people would like you.

[Kyoshi Frost Wolf 40,373]

Well, I know that I am *different* in a lot of ways. My mind doesn't really work like a 'normal' person's does. Cannot say that I care about what people think. Even though I say that, I always seem to cling to the opinions of others. So perhaps my words mean nothing. Meh...

[sparklechic 54]

one good thing about being different is that you stand out which causes people to take notice of you like for example if you had a job interview and people ahead of you seemed to be all the same but if you came in and stood out from others you may be more likely to get that job 

[Hawk Moth 390]

There's a difference between being different and standing out. Everyone is different, but not everyone stands out. Some people stand out because they were born with one condition or another while others go out of their way to stand out. Some are a mix between the two.

 

I, for example never wanted to stand out, yet in school I'd always end up getting a bad reputation for my anger problems and argumentative nature. I was also shorter than most of the other kids, and I had curly hair, so I stood out in that respect as well. If I could change anything, then I'd alter my past so that I would have faded into the background. I'd rather go unnoticed than receive negative attention.

[Arylett Charnoa 4,919]

As with anything, there are pros and cons. That includes being different.

 

I feel enlightened though by Iron Hugo's distinction. There IS a difference between being different and standing out. And I'm going to try to point these out.

 

If you're just different, but nobody notices, there wouldn't be as much disadvantages because people aren't seeing your weirdness and judging it. Though at the same time, you could stand out in a good way. Which means this has both a benefit and a disadvantage. The benefit is that you can be different without the negative judging in this case. The disadvantage is that you might be different in a truly exceptional way, yet nobody sees it or gives you praise. Also, you might WANT people to notice, so that it would be easier for you to find other different people. It might feel harder to connect to others because of this. They think you're normal, but you know you're not. It might feel like living a lie.

 

Anyway though, on to what I think this topic was actually referring to: being different and standing out. I am different myself, and at times, I stand out. It often feels like a struggle to be different. As I said, you can't connect to others as easily. You feel like an outsider, like an alien, and as though you haven't found a place you belong. Honestly, sometimes I do say to myself: "Why can't I be normal?" Many of the things that make me different are flaws, disadvantages and mental issues that many others lack. (I have a mood disorder) 

 

Now, to answer your question: the reason you'd want to be friends with the people who mock you is so that you can feel like you fit in, and find somewhere you belong. It hurts to be alone, and you feel so desperate to have anyone take you in. Being different in this way might mean you are constantly met with rejection, and it's hard to find people to interact with who will not reject you. That's why they'd try to be friends with them. The choices are limited.

 

Being different, I think, would have both the benefit and disadvantage of bringing out the true nature. Though it depends on how different you are. How people react to unexpected situations says a lot about their character. It would be a benefit if this person reacted positively. And a disadvantage if you inspired revulsion from them.

 

But what other benefits would being different have? What makes me able to keep going everyday in spite of my differences, other than the fact that I have no choice and can't change what I truly am?

 

Being different also means that you might be different in not just detrimental ways, but ways that are exceptional and stand out fantastically, even if you might be more alone than others. My distinctive personality seems to garner a lot of respect on the internet for some reason, the fact that I stand out, and so to do my posts here. You can get that positive attention, if you look in the right place. And it feels good. 

 

You could be smarter, faster, more creative than other people, you could be better. You could think so outside of the box that it brings up solutions that others have never seen before. It could genuinely help society to be different, if you put it to a productive use. 
 

And honestly, it feels good even if it hurts. It feels good to know that maybe, just maybe, you're a bit special than everyone else. You're you, and you stand out of this crowd of a million. Whether or not people see it, you know. And you can take pride in it if it's not something completely detrimental. It's just important not to get arrogant about it and think you're better than everyone else. (I hope I don't sound arrogant)

 

Really though, the SPECIFIC benefits of being different depend on HOW one is different. You might be different in a way that gives you many benefits, or different in a way that is almost completely detrimental. 

[Shanks 10,811]

 

If you're different in a way that amuses, entertains, enlightens, or benefits other people, they will like you. Perhaps you are a hyper-active class clown who is nice to everyone. You may be labeled as "different," but people would like you.

Yes that may be true for the hyper active class clown but there are plenty of people that are different whose differences can benefit people but a lot of people are too judgmental, narrow minded and stupid to even bother to try to see it. I know this in my own personal life as I was often viewed as different due to having Autism, some people were understanding but a lot of people just viewed me like I was some kind of freak. Today I have advanced to the point where most people can't tell, but in high school and before then it was fairly obvious due to my many awkward social gaffes and quirks.

 

Yes I think being different does have its advantages because if everyone was exactly the same life would be stale, boring and predictable. Normal is so completely overrated, what is normal anyway? In too many cases it is just a way of saying "we want you to conform to this arbitrary social standard except if you are part of this or that social group." I say to hell with that, I am individual not some mindless drone that needs to have my own personality programmed into me by the politicians or the mainstream media.

[Shawn Parks 1,798]

Now, to answer your question: the reason you'd want to be friends with the people who mock you is so that you can feel like you fit in, and find somewhere you belong. It hurts to be alone, and you feel so desperate to have anyone take you in. Being different in this way might mean you are constantly met with rejection, and it's hard to find people to interact with who will not reject you. That's why they'd try to be friends with them. The choices are limited.

 

I believe that I would rather be alone than be friends with the type of people who would intentionally try to make others feel bad about themselves. 

[Shawn Parks 1,798]

It boggles my mind when one person calls another person a "loser" because of things like looks or personal preferences or innocuous behaviors. The person doing the mockery thinks of themselves as a "winner," or whatever, which seems pretty ironic to me.  In my mind, the only thing that matters is how you treat others.  So simply by mocking someone who has never done any harm to anyone, you reveal yourself to be the loser.

 

And it makes no sense to me why anyone would care to impress the person who is unkind to others, or why anyone would want to be that person's friend. 

[TheFabulousPony 102]

Well it makes me an individual rather than a sheep lol I am who I am and its what keeps me sane. I suppose other benefits are it makes people interested in me sometimes, others also find it humorous also. Who knows.

[hawkflame 3,308]

I think it's more important to be around people who are genuine with who they are rather than those who try to hide behind some fake standard of "normalcy".  All my friends are a little weird in some way or another.  But you know what?  At least I know that they're being honest with me.  I like that weirdness.  But you know what, I know people who aren't like that and they're cool too, because I still get the sense that they're not trying to bullshit me. 

 

Whether you're "normal" or "weird", the most important thing is that you like who you are and you stay true to yourself.  Everything else doesn't really matter after that.

 

I'd say that the benefit of being different is that you know the relationships you do enjoy are real.   I know, for instance, that my friends genuinely don't give a crap that I'm into MLP or anime, or sci-fi, because they're into a lot of geeky stuff too.  We all accept each others' weirdness. 

Edited April 28, 2013 by hawkflame

[~Master~ Button Mash 2,307]

I am who I am. The world can either accept that, or move aside, because I'm not changing for anyone.

 

We are all born with a unique set of gifts and traits, and it is a crime against nature to hide them under a mask of fakeness. You're cheating nopony but yourself.

[uuunph 288]

Ever notice how people always say that everybody is different?

 

 

If everybodys different, nobody is. The truth is, you and me are both completely average in every way.

Oh god I love XKCD so much. I remember that comment. I also recently read a novel in which another piece of literature therin was mentioned, stating that you are the only conscious being in a world of automatons.

 

Definitely agreed. We gotta stop acting like we're something special, good or bad.

[Shanks 10,811]

We are all born with a unique set of gifts and traits, and it is a crime against nature to hide them under a mask of fakeness. You're cheating nopony but yourself.

This is why honesty both to oneself by being proud of who you are has is important to me and is very important in my view of others as well because how can you be honest with others if you can't even be honest with yourself? This is one of the main factors that made Applejack my favorite pony from the start, she is the most true to herself of all the mane 6. Applejack is one of the best examples I have seen in how if you are true to yourself that it shows in your thoughts, words and most importantly actions.

[Pariah164 83]

I am who I am. The world can either accept that, or move aside, because I'm not changing for anyone.

 

We are all born with a unique set of gifts and traits, and it is a crime against nature to hide them under a mask of fakeness. You're cheating nopony but yourself.

THIS. So much. If people can't accept me as I am, they can buck off. The fact is, 'normal' is a matter of personal opinion. No set in stone definition.

[Thrashy 2,799]

To be honest, I don't see all the hoo-hah one way or another. We all are what we are...WYSIWYG. Those who go out of their way to try and be different are just as silly and misguided as those who go out of their way to fit in. Just embrace what makes you you, and be grateful for the friends and family you have who also embrace it.

 

It's pointless to dwell on the words of those who'd ridicule you for your differences, because when all's said and done, there's no change anypony can make to him/herself that will make him/her universally liked and accepted. It's just impossible. Even Chuck-motherbuckin'-Norris himself, as widely revered as he is all across the world, has his own fair share of haters out there. But he sure as hell don't care, so why should anypony else?

 

The take-home moral: Live only for yourself and those closest to you. Don't make life a game of either catering to or defying society's expectations of you. It's really not a game worth playing, and you'll probably lose either way.

Edited April 28, 2013 by Lowline

[AppleJared 87]

Being different isn't the goal you need to go for. Being yourself should be the goal. I used to worry about if people will like me so I acted like I was a part of the "popular" group. (Mind you, this is in middle school). It worked for a long time, but I realized that I really didn't enjoy those people and their company. Most of the were just as fake or even more I fake than I had become to be like them. Oh, the irony.

 

Then I quit doing that. I became comfortable with myself. I quit hanging out with the "popular" group and found new friends. I've had those friends since then and we're like brothers now. Without getting too weird about this, though my best friends don't look much alike (ie: My girlfriends always asked why I never had more "hot" friends) our friendship and bro-ness runs deeper than that.

 

But being purposely different isn't much better, if you aren't being yourself. I found a lot of "emo" kids from my old school weren't actually emotionally disturbed but rather thirsted for attention and pity/acceptance.

 

Short version: Just be yourself and don't worry about it. Good things will happen when you be yourself.