Decision Paradox?

[Dsanders 5,742]

Here's an interesting social paradox that I found:

 

A person can make decisions based not on what they actually want to do, but on what they think that other people want to do, with the result that everybody decides to do something that nobody really wants to do, but only what they thought that everybody else wanted to do.

 

So basically you end up agreeing on taking a course of action you wouldn't really take, but because someone else(a close friend or anyone important to you for example) want's to take it, you agree in hopes that would make him/her happy.

 

So here are some simple questions I like to ask you folks.

 

1. Do you agree or disagree with the paradox? Why or why not?

 

2.  Also, name a moment or experience in your life where this has happened to you.

 

I just thought this was super interesting and I'm looking forward to hear your thoughts on this!

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Scootalove 10,684]

Yes, I do agree with paradox because there are things that we don't want to do but when you care about someone who wants you to do it with them then most of the time you agree to it.

 

Well, this happened to me when I was in summer camp just having fun. Until, our dance teacher wanted us to perform in front of our friends and family in the usual dance shows that we do. My friend wanted to dance in the show but, at first I didn't want to do it. He really pleaded with me to be in the dance show, and after weeks of practice I finally agreed to it.

[Klick-Klack 299]

well, what was supplied was a situation where an actual result is present, where everone does something nobody wanted to do. So all of the individuals are trying to gain respect in their social circles, by trying to predict what the generalty of the circle wants, then acting accordingly. And in that result, everyone did something no-one wanted to do. But in your example, the given individual already knows what the other person(s) wants. So I'm not sure I understand

[~StatesTheOblivious~ 1,794]

Yes, this is in fact one of the bigger issues of sociology because it is true, but anything but useful if you try to analyze social interactions. Your expectations and other's expectations of your actions predetermine what you're doing. And this is not just limited to people you want to do good things for.

 

Unfortunately, the ability of humans to figure out actual expextations of others is quite limited. But since everyone's doing it, it's working.

 

Sadly, I can't come up with a personal example right now.

Edited August 20, 2013 by StatesTheOblivious

[Dsanders 5,742]

well, what was supplied was a situation where an actual result is present, where everone does something nobody wanted to do. So all of the individuals are trying to gain respect in their social circles, by trying to predict what the generalty of the circle wants, then acting accordingly. And in that result, everyone did something no-one wanted to do. But in your example, the given individual already knows what the other person(s) wants. So I'm not sure I understand

 

Well I'll give you another example I found when looking into this. It's the best one I found under this subject. Maybe you'll understand this one better.

 

On a hot afternoon visiting in Coleman, Texas, the family is comfortably playing dominoes on a porch, until the father-in-law suggests that they take a trip to Abilene [53 miles north] for dinner. The wife says, "Sounds like a great idea." The husband, despite having reservations because the drive is long and hot, thinks that his preferences must be out-of-step with the group and says, "Sounds good to me. I just hope your mother wants to go." The mother-in-law then says, "Of course I want to go. I haven't been to Abilene in a long time."

The drive is hot, dusty, and long. When they arrive at the cafeteria, the food is as bad as the drive. They arrive back home four hours later, exhausted.

One of them dishonestly says, "It was a great trip, wasn't it?" The mother-in-law says that, actually, she would rather have stayed home, but went along since the other three were so enthusiastic. The husband says, "I wasn't delighted to be doing what we were doing. I only went to satisfy the rest of you." The wife says, "I just went along to keep you happy. I would have had to be crazy to want to go out in the heat like that." The father-in-law then says that he only suggested it because he thought the others might be bored.

The group sits back, perplexed that they together decided to take a trip which none of them wanted. They each would have preferred to sit comfortably, but did not admit to it when they still had time to enjoy the afternoon.

[Klick-Klack 299]

Well I'll give you another example I found when looking into this. It's the best one I found under this subject. Maybe you'll understand this one better.

 

On a hot afternoon visiting in Coleman, Texas, the family is comfortably playing dominoes on a porch, until the father-in-law suggests that they take a trip to Abilene [53 miles north] for dinner. The wife says, "Sounds like a great idea." The husband, despite having reservations because the drive is long and hot, thinks that his preferences must be out-of-step with the group and says, "Sounds good to me. I just hope your mother wants to go." The mother-in-law then says, "Of course I want to go. I haven't been to Abilene in a long time."

The drive is hot, dusty, and long. When they arrive at the cafeteria, the food is as bad as the drive. They arrive back home four hours later, exhausted.

One of them dishonestly says, "It was a great trip, wasn't it?" The mother-in-law says that, actually, she would rather have stayed home, but went along since the other three were so enthusiastic. The husband says, "I wasn't delighted to be doing what we were doing. I only went to satisfy the rest of you." The wife says, "I just went along to keep you happy. I would have had to be crazy to want to go out in the heat like that." The father-in-law then says that he only suggested it because he thought the others might be bored.

The group sits back, perplexed that they together decided to take a trip which none of them wanted. They each would have preferred to sit comfortably, but did not admit to it when they still had time to enjoy the afternoon.

I understood the senario, I just don't quite understand why its a scenario It happens very often within groups of people, like families