mega thread What are you thinking?

[Jackleberry 1,921]

I find it hilarious that all haters, of any variety, always have one thing in common; they have absolutely zero awareness and are often more obsessed with hating the thing than the fans are with enjoying it.

But yes it's the fans who are "weird" and need to "grow up", sure. <.<

[Savy 5,077]

Things have been pretty quite lately, I only got one notification today oops.

[Sparklefan1234 170,269]

16 hours ago, PrettyInPipp said:

I feel like I'm getting into an Izzy phase. Her and Pipp are probably my two favorites not gonna lie.

 

*Thinking while looking at my profile banner and signature*

"It's about time, Bestie!". 

[TBD 17,254]

I can’t believe I just realized G5 MLP released a series since April… where the hell was I???

[SweetieDreams 84]

I didn’t know who Technoblade was but I was shocked at how young he was when he passed away. At age 23 I still felt like a little kid who didn’t understand anything, like my life had barely just begun.

Another day of being grateful that I made it to my 30s, because it seems that a lot of people don’t get to have that privilege these days, for various reasons.  

 

[They call me Loyalty 1,948]

I was looking at old family pictures. To think our mistakes can have such long-lasting consequences, more than one hundred years and four generations later and everything is still broken. It reminds me of deuteronomy where it mentions that the iniquity of the fathers will be visited upon the children until the third and fourth generation. Well, I am the fourth generation, and hopefully the last one of this diseased genealogical tree.
And I believe it was all because the ten commandments were transgressed, repeatedly, that our family was destroyed from within. As they started to hate they way of God, as well as each other, and they turned to amorality, jealousy, covetousness, adultery, murder, occultism and witchcraft, by doing everything that was explicitly forbidden in scripture.
Nothing was holy anymore and they fell into lawlessness. They corrupted themselves. Away from the creator, and away from their own humanity. Their hearts became hardened by the constant pain and misery that their own transgressions brought upon themselves and others. Abuse and trauma was perpetuated, causing more damage and mental illness. And their amorality was passed down from generation to generation, because degraded and damaged parents raise degraded and damaged children in the great majority of cases.
It was all because their transgression of the law. Which I believe stands to this day, despite the state of the world.
And here lies the consequence on my shoulders. Even if I didn't do sh*t. How much I would like to see this shame of a family come to an end. Just let it burn, baby. Just let it burn.

Edited July 1, 2022 by They call me Loyalty

[Clawdeen 12,191]

I know its right before a holiday weekend but there's no excuse to send something over for me to run that looks like this.

[ExplosionMare 18,062]

Wondering why my neck is hurting all of a sudden 

[TheRockARooster 51,002]

I’m going shopping today, what should I get at the mall?

[Splashee 28,563]

Worrying about thunder storms ruining my meeting tonight Hopefully not

[ExplosionMare 18,062]

1 hour ago, TheRockARooster said:

I’m going shopping today, what should I get at the mall?

Get a cool collectible or something 

It's funny how I'm either accidentally too loud or accidentally too quiet. I'm always quiet when I need to be loud or loud when I need to be quiet.

[TheRockARooster 51,002]

1 hour ago, ExplosionMare said:

Get a cool collectible or something 

It's funny how I'm either accidentally too loud or accidentally too quiet. I'm always quiet when I need to be loud or loud when I need to be quiet.

Thank you for the idea, Explosion. ^^

[Savy 5,077]

There's officially one week until I'm on my cruise, I really hope the next few days goes by fast

[SweetieDreams 84]

After I take my meds and a shower, it’s time to play Genshin Impact! 

[Kyoshi Frost Wolf 41,430]

I'm surprised I did as well as I did in my German lessons just now. 

[ExplosionMare 18,062]

Why is the desert Mario Kart 8 Deluxe theme in my head?

[Cagey 4,248]

"It's not something that's ever affected anything" is the most useless line of dialogue I've ever written. I think that proves I'm incapable of continuing this plot point. Gah. Why can't I be less vague?

[Pandora 38,015]

I have a lot of guilt wash over me for getting a contract at work towards others who didn't get it but i'm also thinking i should be proud of myself--
yet one cannot show the joys that much when it's not equal and the news given after about a colleague having cancer is quite destructive.

How does one coop with such conflictions?

[Savy 5,077]

Thinking about how in one week I'll be on my cruise, I'm so hyped.

[They call me Loyalty 1,948]

About my childhood. And the depersonalization I experienced as a result of it. Because of being surrounded by pathological people who then acted like functional and respected members of society, despite being unable to offer emotional or human support as my own family, as they were traumatized themselves. A group of strangers I never knew beyond their charitable social personalities.

It was a family of rigorous catholic indoctrination. I grew up among people who often used superstition to misrepresent real life problems, and it only served to foment ignorance, untreated mental illness, and abusive behaviours under the guise of an insidious dogmatic regime.

I always suspected there was something wrong with it. Like with those terms they used to "demonize" basic human nature, for example. And over the years, I started to witness that there was something much worse hiding under the false surface of religious mysticism they used to refer to their disregulated emotional behaviours and instinctive response, as a way to dismiss abusive tendencies and avoid taking any responsability to address the real problem in our family. Trauma.
The most insidious aspect being the misrepresention of reality to hide the truth of their condition. Therefore never reaching understanding about the actual problem. Which resulted in the perpetuation of this trauma from generation to generation, as abusive parents inculcated abusive behaviours into their children, who then learned to replicate their own abuse to victimize others. At least those who did not turn the harm towards themselves.
And this form of cyclical abuse has become exacerbated and reflected by the exploitative and de-humanizing elements of our modern society. Especially around positions of power, where sociopathic-type personalities can prosper, and continue to inflict abuse of power on a wider scale. It is their trauma-based addiction. Power abuse. And it is the same for many of the people in my family. The hoarding and compuslive exploitation of resources.

Human beings naturally display a capacity for instinct, reasoning and emotional cognition, unless their cognitive capacities become inhibited or impaired by trauma, which is often the source of pathological behaviour.
And this abusive tendencies in my family were only exacerbated by the ideological suppression that these harmful religious ideas had created to obstruct, condition, and limit their natural expression and understanding of their mental and emotional health. Which then degenerated into sadistic and masochistic tendencies, as well as well as other predatory behaviours regarding human life. Which is to say debauchery, amorality and unconditional tolerance under the guise of inclusivity is also wrong. Right and left are two extremes of the same wrongness. There is no center. No heart. And no wisdom. Because many of the people in our society are busy feeding their own trauma based personalities, agomania, as this untreated damage continues to condition their expression into more abusive behaviour. Especially in a world reinforced by capitalist ideas that promote the exploitation of life as an objectifiable resource. A human resource.

The "demonization" tactic employed by my family was nothing but a misnomer used to vilify that which they did not want to recognize about themselves or others. In this case used to misrepresent their natural behaviours and instinctive response, that had become exacerbated by untreated trauma, and enmeshed within a trauma based personality, resulting in a high-functioning sociopathic persona. People who can go from their false "professional" and social self to their actual abusive self at the sign of any kind of vulnerability. Seeing it as a possibility to exploit others, whether it be physically, emotionally, psychologically, sexually, etc.
And I've often seen this pathological behaviour in society, not only within my family or myself, but also with professors and figures of authority in academic and religious circles, as well with law enforcement and within the military, both with men and women, going from their acceptable social personality to their abusive predatory person in the presence of someone who was perceived to be weaker than them. As a predator would with a prey. Becoming instantly hostile and abusive in the presence of true emotional capacity or vulnerability, because of their own emotional and psychological trauma.
They seek abusive practices as a form of relieving their own trauma, either by self-harm or by harming others.

As the people within my family, when they instantly switched between their sociopathic personality and their abusive selves, turning to physical violence, toxic language and psychological aggression, and then returned to their socipathic, and socially acceptable persona once again. Yes, that is what they call "possession". It is mental and emotional illness.

Because when our natural expression becomes traumatized due to abuse, a false personality or alter-ego is constructed around the trauma, in the form of a coping mechanism, in part due to depersonalization, dissociation and cognitive impairment to circumvent, and even protect the damage, without neccesarily addressing the source of the problem. Which also creates vulnerability and dependency of various types.
And can also result in these types of trauma based personalities that sustain itself on compulsive, abusive, dissociative and addictive behaviours to deal with the suppressed pain. Because the natural cognitive functions have become disregulated or impaired, and they cannot normally function anymore, due to the traumatized state of their emotional, psychological or physical health.

I've lived most of life among strangers. So, I am a stranger to myself. The social maladaptive behaviour and emotional decompensation that impairs my natural interaction with society is product of my childhood trauma, that resulted from living among sociopaths; traumatized human beings who were never identified or treated within a society that prioritizes productivity over human life and health.
As a consequence of this, I have to result to my trauma based personality or my sociopathic disorder in order to interact with the world, due to my impaired emotional and psychological health.
Like a clown with a mask. A clown in a clown world, which is a very harmful and exploitative environment to live in.
Things are not what they seem under the mediatic surface of misinformation that intends to parody the traumatized, diseased, dissociative and abusive reality of our world. All of which serves to the proliferation of more ignorance, trauma, pathology and exploitation. Which is normalized by the diseased society of a capitalist world system.

I believe that is what "evil" is really called. Ignorance.

[Luna the Great of all the Russias 2,984]

I am thinking about what to think about for the What are you thinking thread. I thought about making a post that is meta which explained how I was thinking about thinking about what to post in the What are you thinking thread. And so I did just that, and I will click on the "Submit Reply" button after I finish typing this sentence, and quickly re-reading the post I just typed out so that I can avoid potentially editing this post later. I think this post looks good enough, so I will indeed click on the "Submit Reply" button after I finish typing out this sentence.

[TheRockARooster 51,002]

I’m thinking of how I’ll get my neck healed.

Edited July 3, 2022 by TheRockARooster

[Kyoshi Frost Wolf 41,430]

Just another pointless day in my pointless life.

[Savy 5,077]

Wonder if I'll be able to sleep tonight.

[DubWolf 17,262]

I think ima be an “America” fan to piss everybody off  .

Its a Mexican soccer team. They’re basically the patriots.