Jump to content
Banner by ~ Wizard

Feedback for your OC and Roleplaying 2.0!


Inactive01

Recommended Posts

Hello everyone! 

 

I'm sure some of you were wondering where Sterling Crimson went off to with all those OC reviews. Well, I was busy all semester and I had very little time to review anyone's OC. I'm very sorry for that, and I want to let everyone know that I'm back with a vengeance! So come on down and let me see your OCs! I'll start reviewing them once I'm done my exams next weekend, but I will definitely start a cue for you all! 

 

Now bring your OCs to me! Let me see them! :D If I brohoof your post, I've seen it and it's on my queue.

 

The Queue

 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

Marking Criteria in Detail:

 

 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

OCs I Have Marked

 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

Also, I wanted to say that I want to hear from you about my reviews. In many cases, I've reviewed people's OCs only to see them never come back and read them! I EXPECT you to read my reviews when you come here!

 

I've been noticing that people have multiple OCs they want reviewed. If that is the case, come back again if you want another OC reviewed and I'll put you back on the queue.

Edited by Sterling Crimson
  • Brohoof 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

 

  On 2014-04-16 at 11:05 PM, Sterling Crimson said:
your OC's appearance doesn't match their personality at all.
 

Could you clarify what you mean by this, please?  :muffins:

img-24134-1-img-24134-1-Sscj1oz.png

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  On 2014-04-16 at 11:07 PM, Destiny said:

 

 

Could you clarify what you mean by this, please?  :muffins:

Think of it like this. I see an OC who is very shy, but the description says they're really active and hyper. A pony's first impressions says a lot about their character, and they have to fit well with each other for telling a story.

  • Brohoof 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

 

  On 2014-04-16 at 11:09 PM, Sterling Crimson said:
Think of it like this. I see an OC who is very shy, but the description says they're really active and hyper. A pony's first impressions says a lot about their character, and they have to fit well with each other for telling a story.
 

 

What if it's a pony like Rarity, that looks stuck up and conceited (sorry Ghostie) but is actually very generous and kind-hearted? Would you rate a pony like this rather lowly?

Just asking, because I have a pony like this.  :blush:

  • Brohoof 1

img-24134-1-img-24134-1-Sscj1oz.png

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  On 2014-04-16 at 11:11 PM, Destiny said:

 

 

What if it's a pony like Rarity, that looks stuck up and conceited (sorry Ghostie) but is actually very generous and kind-hearted? Would you rate a pony like this rather lowly?

Just asking, because I have a pony like this.  :blush:

 

Umm... nononono. If I feel that the character can be played with such that Rarity can be generous and kind-hearted (because she can be kind-hearted when she can be), it can still work out and Rarity would have a high grade for it.

 

It would all depend on how you describe the character and how you portray it in appearance and what not. If I feel something needs to be changed, I'll let you know.

 

Like version 1.0, I'm not going to rag on anyone. I'll be constructive and I'll make sure that my advice will be as much help as possible. 

  • Brohoof 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

 

  On 2014-04-16 at 11:14 PM, Sterling Crimson said:
Umm... nononono. If I feel that the character can be played with such that Rarity can be generous and kind-hearted (because she can be kind-hearted when she can be), it can still work out and Rarity would have a high grade for it.   It would all depend on how you describe the character and how you portray it in appearance and what not. If I feel something needs to be changed, I'll let you know.   Like version 1.0, I'm not going to rag on anyone. I'll be constructive and I'll make sure that my advice will be as much help as possible. 
 

 

Awesome, thank you for the clarification.  :derp:

  • Brohoof 1

img-24134-1-img-24134-1-Sscj1oz.png

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So, you're reviewing OCs, huh? Well, in that case, I would like one, or two, or three. I don't want to be greedy, though, so I'll gladly only take one.

 

Well, I'd like my OCs reviewed with the following priority:

 

1. Curious

2. Gardenia

3. Ambrosia

 

There profiles are all in my sig.

  • Brohoof 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  On 2014-04-16 at 11:49 PM, Aged Rain said:

So, you're reviewing OCs, huh? Well, in that case, I would like one, or two, or three. I don't want to be greedy, though, so I'll gladly only take one.

 

Well, I'd like my OCs reviewed with the following priority:

 

1. Curious

2. Gardenia

3. Ambrosia

 

There profiles are all in my sig.

 

 

Just added you on my queue of reviews. I hope you don't mind waiting until April 26th. I still have exams to finish :(

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  On 2014-04-16 at 11:53 PM, Sterling Crimson said:

 

Just added you on my queue of reviews. I hope you don't mind waiting until April 26th. I still have exams to finish :(

yep, that's fine. I'm a patient person.

  • Brohoof 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I would like you to review two of my OC's, if that isn't much trouble. Lapis (Lapis and her sister, Gemma, have nearly the same OC sheet. They are also a joint project between Midnight Scribbler and I.) and Mirror Image. 

 

If you can only review one of them...I'll let you decide....or I will if you don't want to decide.

  • Brohoof 1

Silver HeartLapisMirror Image-My OC Ponies.


SilverHeartApothecary_byPixiGlow.png


Signature by PixiGlow


Are you bored? Read my fanfic! Canterlot in Chaos (Criticism is welcome)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  On 2014-04-17 at 12:08 AM, SilverHeart said:

I would like you to review two of my OC's, if that isn't much trouble. Lapis (Lapis and her sister, Gemma, have nearly the same OC sheet. They are also a joint project between Midnight Scribbler and I.) and Mirror Image. 

 

If you can only review one of them...I'll let you decide....or I will if you don't want to decide.

Which OC do you feel needs more reviewing? Keep in mind I don't start reviews until April 26th.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  On 2014-04-17 at 12:10 AM, Miss Reaper said:

Ooh, could you perhaps take a look at my character, Galatea? I just recently updated her profile, and I want to make sure it's up to par~

You're third on the queue for April 26th.

  • Brohoof 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  On 2014-04-17 at 12:09 AM, Sterling Crimson said:

Which OC do you feel needs more reviewing? Keep in mind I don't start reviews until April 26th.

Probably Mirror Image. I would t have to go through anyone else to make any changes. Thank you very much for song this.

  • Brohoof 1

Silver HeartLapisMirror Image-My OC Ponies.


SilverHeartApothecary_byPixiGlow.png


Signature by PixiGlow


Are you bored? Read my fanfic! Canterlot in Chaos (Criticism is welcome)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Curious

 

Appearance: He certainly looks very humble and pacifist as you suggest he is. The name you give him, "Curious" should also suggest someone who likes to do a lot of exploring and trying new things, which is something I want you to consider as you continue to develop your OC. Otherwise, he seems like a normal pony and his appearance, while humble, does it justice.

 

Score: 9/10

 

Backstory: There's a lot of things I'm wondering from your backstory. First of all, what happened to him that caused him to get lost from the rest of flight camp? When did he start to question other pony's authorities? Was it just an adolescent thing, or was there an event attached to it? What part of his travels had the most impact to his life? Where was he eventually found?

 

Another big issue for me comes from the lack of interactions he had with other ponies, particularly his parents. How did they feel after he was found? Particularly with the cutie mark he got? What would they think of it? Plus, it sounds like Curious' relationship with his parents is strained ever since he was found again... or was it already becoming strained before he disappeared from flight school?

 

Lots of good things here, but you need to clarify on a few things and find new ways to expand your OC's character in his story. You may also want to look at his first adventure away from home.

 

Score: 7/10

 

Personality: You've already added a lot of details to your backstory here, so I don't have much else to add other than what you already have here with regards to his character. However, is there any way you can add a hobby or two if he has any? It's your choice, but I was wondering what his career actually is, because his cutie mark doesn't really signify his career choice. Nevertheless, if you don't wish to give him a career choice, at least you can give him something to do in the present day.

 

Score: 8/10

  • Brohoof 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

@SilverHeart

Mirror Image

 

Appearance: An interesting concept for you OC... I've seen other people attempt this sort of thing without much success and convincing, but much of their failures lie in not being able to provide a strong, original backstory to create the present condition for the OC in question. I wonder about the three beaded necklace that she's wearing right now. Is it anything special? The scars on her face... It makes me feel very sympathetic for her :(. It's good artwork to say the least, and I can see what you did there as part of her shame and unwillingness to accept her past...

 

Score: 9/10

 

Backstory: I feel that the backstory itself which led to a sudden change in her life for the worse is quite cliche. I've read lots of stories like that, and while they're very sad and can have much potential if done right, it's quite a risk to give these sudden changes to your OC. What also makes it concerning's that you didn't really delve much into the fire itself. For such a life-changing event, I would expect more detail than just a brief mention, although if you've come up with something for an RP, then that's completely fine. If you wanted to make the backstory very moving, then I highly suggest you add a lot detail about the fire that changed her life forever. I also wonder how she was feeling in those years after she lost her parents...

 

Your backstory's really common in many other characters, and I don't feel much of an emotion disposition towards your OC other than the scars she has. Elaborate the emotions she feels and let the reader know how the events influenced her. I was particularly surprised that you didn't add a brief note as to her continually hiding her scars or when that actually started. You have something, but you need to do a lot more elaborating than normal because these types of stories are very cliche.

 

Score: 4/10

 

Personality: At Age 35, is this where she becomes cruel, or has gotten over her cruel characteristics? Otherwise, I can see why you classified her personality by age. Nevertheless, are there things that remain the same over the course of her life? Like her hobbies or an emotional aspect of her life. It would be very interesting to see how you approach this :).

 

Score: 7/10

Link to comment
Share on other sites

@,

 

Hi, was just curious to read from outside my group of friends of what other bronies think of my OC:

 

 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

Here's alos the link to my artwork thread: http://mlpforums.com/topic/80100-lightning-bliss-awsome-pony-friends-6-art-corner/

 

Here's the link to my OC's Background: http://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/lightning-bliss-r4350

  • Brohoof 2

I'm just a silly little alicorn, trying to get by in the fandom ^^

sig-19227.SignatureAlicorn2_zpsb868001e.png

The Lightning Bliss Show

Lightning Bliss DevianArt

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  On 2014-04-26 at 8:09 PM, Becker (Fender) said:

I will be honest here. I would like all of my OC's reviewed. @-@ They would all be on my profile.

I can only review one OC at a time to give everyone a chance to have their OCs reviewed. If you want multiple OCs reviewed, then come back after I complete the first of the OCs you prefer to have marked. :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  On 2014-04-26 at 7:57 PM, The Ancaster Brony said:

@SilverHeart

Mirror Image

 

Appearance: An interesting concept for you OC... I've seen other people attempt this sort of thing without much success and convincing, but much of their failures lie in not being able to provide a strong, original backstory to create the present condition for the OC in question. I wonder about the three beaded necklace that she's wearing right now. Is it anything special? The scars on her face... It makes me feel very sympathetic for her :(. It's good artwork to say the least, and I can see what you did there as part of her shame and unwillingness to accept her past...

 

Score: 9/10

 

Backstory: I feel that the backstory itself which led to a sudden change in her life for the worse is quite cliche. I've read lots of stories like that, and while they're very sad and can have much potential if done right, it's quite a risk to give these sudden changes to your OC. What also makes it concerning's that you didn't really delve much into the fire itself. For such a life-changing event, I would expect more detail than just a brief mention, although if you've come up with something for an RP, then that's completely fine. If you wanted to make the backstory very moving, then I highly suggest you add a lot detail about the fire that changed her life forever. I also wonder how she was feeling in those years after she lost her parents...

 

Your backstory's really common in many other characters, and I don't feel much of an emotion disposition towards your OC other than the scars she has. Elaborate the emotions she feels and let the reader know how the events influenced her. I was particularly surprised that you didn't add a brief note as to her continually hiding her scars or when that actually started. You have something, but you need to do a lot more elaborating than normal because these types of stories are very cliche.

 

Score: 4/10

 

Personality: At Age 35, is this where she becomes cruel, or has gotten over her cruel characteristics? Otherwise, I can see why you classified her personality by age. Nevertheless, are there things that remain the same over the course of her life? Like her hobbies or an emotional aspect of her life. It would be very interesting to see how you approach this :).

 

Score: 7/10

Thank you so much. I've asked for a few people to critique her before, but no one ever did. They just told me she was good. Or interesting. Can I request a re-review after I make the changes?

  • Brohoof 1

Silver HeartLapisMirror Image-My OC Ponies.


SilverHeartApothecary_byPixiGlow.png


Signature by PixiGlow


Are you bored? Read my fanfic! Canterlot in Chaos (Criticism is welcome)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Join the herd!

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...