This is weird for me. I've become very pessimistic (well moreso agnostic to being in a better life). It's not that I think things will turn out well for me that motivates me, but rather it's my pride, more specifically my ego that does so. Like I can't stand the position my luck and life choices have left me in, but I just... have to finish what I start at the very least. I can't just be anybody else or accept what I have, unfortunately that really doesn't make much of a difference unless I get the opportunities to feel fulfilled.