Do svidaniya

WHY AM I NOT TIRED I NEED TO SLEEP.

I'll drink it maybe once or twice a year, when the circumstances demand it.

3 different "nightmares" last night. Very vivid to the point they could've been real, and very short. One happened whilst still at work, lied down on the chairs to have a nap and immediately the dream happened in the same room, same chairs. One of the morning cleaners came into the room and started approaching me which startled me as they weren't due in for a few more hours and I just turns and screamed at them "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?" to which they responded "It's okay! It's okay!" except there was no sound the whole time, it was like a TV on mute. And I woke up. Then after I got home there were 2 more back-to-back. One I was again in that same room at work and was just leaving through the door and two random girls were walking down the corridor, can't remember what they said exactly but they started saying some nasty things about recent choices and ended it with "That's just typical of you isn't it?" Last one was I think I was trying to buy some fruit from a vendor at a stall and the person behind me just started violently shoving me forward and pushing me out of the way, so I just turned and bit him as hard as I could on his hand that was on my shoulder. Don't think I've had dreams like this before. Maybe I'm not getting enough sleep. It was kinda like this I guess:

Tasks done, now to spend the rest of the night installing VSTs. Meanwhile I should probably spend more of my days sleeping.

No bedsheets left for the wards in the morning? Oh yeah they're gonna be happy with that. Not my fault nor problem.

Phone keyboards are the absolute worst. I don't even have fat fingers but I have to correct almost every word in a sentence because it's so small. If indont almsit every enseence will look lielbthis.

Signed a petition to declare the current ruling government a terrorist organization. I don't believe in petitions whatsoever but it'll be amusing if they have to make an official statement about it.

Nooo the only thing to eat for dinner is whatever became of the disaster lasagna yesterday? Being meguca is suffering.

I had a nap because I didn't get enough sleep before, at least I'm feeling more rested now.

I should start braiding my hair again, its been a while.

You can go right ahead with that. I think I should have no more shots of vodka as I need to get myself to work later at some point. (Don't worry, I know I have to be ReSpOnSiBlE, I can temper myself. I am okay. )

It is once again the first 6 minutes of Storm by Godspeed You! Black Emperor. It will always be the first 6 minutes of Storm.

Looks like I might be here by myself from now on.

New laptop has been delivered. The nights will be mine again. Now to get REAPER and all those VSTs installed.

Were those rejection nightmares? What is up with me that doesn't normally happen...

I ain't really sure, some sort of sadness broke over me in the last hour or so.

I had to do a double take at that title, who's flavouring goldfish and eating them?

And here's the Chernobyl diving video, the panic at 40 minutes in when they thought they lost him.

You get it! Que @Raskolnikov and I taking shifts whisking the dammed béchamel sauce trying to thicken it up for over 45 minutes in a kitchen rapidly reaching well over 30°C to the point we said "Fuck this, we're ordering a burger. " (Funnily enough abandoning the task made the sauce thicken up but by that point we were already stuffing our faces with something actually tasty, we assembled the disaster anyways and shoved it in the oven and the results... aren't pretty.) My mum historically always made the worst lasagnas, nauseatingly gross béchamel sauce sandwiched between slimy sheets of pasta with a weird tasting tomato sauce, why would anyone torture themselves with this. This has only solidified my conviction that this is an irredeemable dish.

Why did I have to go and forget to bring any painkillers tonight. Pain so intense I can't take a full breath and it's probably only going to get worse as the night progresses. (And yes the irony of being at a hospital and not being able to get any painkillers is not lost on me.)

Today I learned my hatred of lasagne also has multiple layers, much like a lasagne itself. Not only does it taste mediocre but it is also the BIGGEST pain in the ass to make. Never again. There are better tasting things out there for the tiniest fraction of the effort it takes to make.

Oh yeah this is the other Bolt I have. He once travelled deep into the Australian outback to come find me when I was lost.

The lands are struck with sorrow An overwhelming fear The prophecy of an ending The last day is near The ones chosen to battle A great quest they bear The warriors are gathered The wisdom of the prophet, hear! Soldiers, brothers and allies Hear my words On you I trust the burden To defend our world Lightning strikes The sun is blackened The whole world shakes And burning fragments rain The thousands of warriors Chosen to fight In grief they are marching Through the night The ancient terror will rise As foretold by the wise: "Tämä ikuisesti pelätty loppu meitä lähestyy. Taivaalta sataa verta ja susi meidän jumalamme syö. Ei kukaan säästy kuolemalta. Ikuisen kaaoksen valta. Tämä on viimeinen yö" Serpent! From the endless depths, rise! Into oblivion this world will demise Forgotten terror unleashing its wrath The seven seas into chaos lash Not only by sea does evil descend Every corner of this world fire giants will rend Every man and god will fall Ragnarök will crush you all! Brandishing a sword of revenge Surtr brings death to all manner of things Fumes will reek and flames will burst But the giant king destroys himself Yggdrassil will shake from root to summit Earth, heaven and hell will quiver Nothing is left after destruction's work Behold the power of mighty Ragnarök!

Karelia - Insomnium One of my favourite instrumentals.

I really gotta get my motorbike ready to go back on the road again. I miss that shit so much.