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Original Song - The Great Trixie

LIndaVonRee

By LIndaVonRee, Muffin

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LIndaVonRee

LIndaVonRee 6

Hello guys~! c: 

I am really new to this forum, this is my first post as well~!

I would like to show you all something I composed this weekend, an original song about Trixie~!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HhkrgHd90sg

 

--------------------------
Download Link:
if you would like to support me and my music, please feel free to donate or download the song at my Bandcamp
 
Thank you so much! 
 
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Lyrics:
 
Well, welcome to the show tonight
Come see some magic tricks
The best you'll ever see around 
Come see them really quick
 
You will see the mightiest pony
turning this into a bunny
the best of tricks you'll ever see around
Take a look inside my hat
There's a pigeon in my hand
The greatest and most magical pony
 
Yeah~!
So tell me what's your favorite drink
I'll show ya' in just a blink
you say you wanna volunteer?
Come over really quick
 
I swear that I am no phony
For I am the greatest pony
Come watch as I turn this into the moon
You will see my shadow dance
or maybe I'll put you into a trance
The Greatest and most Magical Pony.
 
Trixie!, that's her name
the mightiest pony all around
Trixie!, ring the bells
for the highest level unicorn
 
Come here to be amazed by swords and fire
Illussions, cards and magic ropes
Blow your mind with telepathic powers
It's all part of the show
 
Well, welcome to the show tonight
Come see some magic tricks
The best you'll ever see around 
Come see them really quick
 
You will see the mightiest pony
turning this into a bunny
The best of tricks you'll ever see around
Take a look inside my hat
There's a pigoen in my hand
The Greatest and most Magical Pony!
 
Trixie, tha'ts my name!
The mightiest pony all around
Trixie, ring the bells
For the highest level unicorn
 
And if you don't believe in such a power
Let me tell you now
All the magic here is way more real
Than I will ever be.
 
Trixie! That's her name
The mightiest pony all around
Trixie! Ring the bells!
For the highest level unicorn
 
Trixie, that's my name
the mightiest pony all around
Trixie, ring the bells
for the highest level unicorn.
 
Come here to be amazed by swords and fire
illusions, cards and magic ropes
Blow your mind with telepathic powers
It's all part of the show
 
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LIndaVonRee

LIndaVonRee 6

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Hey this is pretty cool, I love the style you are going for. The only complaint I would have is the mixing. The voice needs leveled, and it feels a little hollow at times. What VST/DAW are you use for mixing?

 

Edit: If you have Ozone, I can recommend a few settings, though I am far from an expert on these things.

I mixed everything on Garage Band.

Oh man i couldn't agree anymore with you about the voice! However I had really bad issues with the mic and I couldn't record my voice the way I wanted using Pro Tools. In the end what I did was record the voice with the computer's internal mic, that's why it sounds so hollow sometimes.

I will update this song once I solve the issue with the mic, thanks for your help.

Hmm this is a very interesting song, but just to me the something about the music and the lyrics don't mix... 

if you put around after pony and shorten the word pony it sounds better

I am not quite sure how are you thinking of those words, when i try to do that in my head it still sounds well, not quite right haha

If you could show me i would greatly appreciate it!

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LIndaVonRee

LIndaVonRee 6

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If you would like, you could send me a PM with a link to the instrumental, and a link to the vocals. I could take a shot at mastering them for you. I have a pretty nice mastering setup that I am always eager to try out.

Oh man that's greatly appreciated!

Just let me get back home and I'll send it to you! I really appreciate your help!

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Courageous Thunder Dash

Courageous Thunder Dash 7,809

It's a good song. 

 

However, the lyrics roll off as somewhat cheesy, as Trixie is pumping her ego up, proclaiming herself to be the best, when clearly she's not. 

 

Some transitions could be a bit smoother and in between verses, a nice fill-in would work, especially, before the choruses. 

 

The rhythm sounds a bit dry. Maybe sweeping it in and out of a filter might add some flavor to it. The same goes with your synths. Some nice sawtooths would work for the chorus and even a little solo would work as well. 

 

I also have to agree with Detective Butler on the clarity of your voice. You might need a better mic. Some sweeping vocal effects would work as transitions to the chorus. 

 

All in all, it was a good piece, but it could use some refinement. 

 

7/10

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LIndaVonRee

LIndaVonRee 6

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It's a good song. 

 

However, the lyrics roll off as somewhat cheesy, as Trixie is pumping her ego up, proclaiming herself to be the best, when clearly she's not. 

 

Some transitions could be a bit smoother and in between verses, a nice fill-in would work, especially, before the choruses. 

 

The rhythm sounds a bit dry. Maybe sweeping it in and out of a filter might add some flavor to it. The same goes with your synths. Some nice sawtooths would work for the chorus and even a little solo would work as well. 

 

I also have to agree with Detective Butler on the clarity of your voice. You might need a better mic. Some sweeping vocal effects would work as transitions to the chorus. 

 

All in all, it was a good piece, but it could use some refinement. 

 

7/10

As far as the lyrics go, she did claim to be the best on the first episode she appeared, she challenged everyone afterall. We all are aware that trixie isn't the greatest as she claimed to be, but magicians are supposed to be show offs afterall and that's pretty much what she was doing.

 

As for the rest of the critique, thanks, I'll keep that in mind next time.

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Courageous Thunder Dash

Courageous Thunder Dash 7,809

As far as the lyrics go, she did claim to be the best on the first episode she appeared, she challenged everyone afterall. We all are aware that trixie isn't the greatest as she claimed to be, but magicians are supposed to be show offs afterall and that's pretty much what she was doing.

 

As for the rest of the critique, thanks, I'll keep that in mind next time.

Okay, how long have you been doing music?

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LIndaVonRee

LIndaVonRee 6

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Okay, how long have you been doing music?

I'm a junior in college, composition major, however I am more used to writting everything and handing it out to real instruments and solving all the issues on the first rehearsal. I originally was going for a major in piano, but i changed my major into composition about a year and a half ago. You could say this was the first piece i ever actually completed digitally and recorded by myself. I guess I still have a lot to learn though, so composing for the fandom is great practice~!

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LIndaVonRee

LIndaVonRee 6

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The fandom is crazy good practice. This is where I learned how to paint. Also, while piano is cool, a major in composition is much more versatile.

 

 oh i completely agree! That's the main reason as to why i switched into composition. I didnt see myself doing much as a pianist, plus i would spend more time trying to compose some stuff than actually practicing at my piano haha

 

@@LIndaVonRee,

 

Wow. I'm a music major and have been a musician for 15 years. I started composition four years ago and have completed many stuff for the fandom.

 

Oh man! That's so cool, it is always nice to meet fellow composers! c: that's a really long time! I would love to hear some of your compositions as well someday

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Courageous Thunder Dash

Courageous Thunder Dash 7,809

 

 oh i completely agree! That's the main reason as to why i switched into composition. I didnt see myself doing much as a pianist, plus i would spend more time trying to compose some stuff than actually practicing at my piano haha

 

 

Oh man! That's so cool, it is always nice to meet fellow composers! c: that's a really long time! I would love to hear some of your compositions as well someday

Hey, we can do that through PM and you can critique some of mine! I'll send you a message right away!

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Adorkable

Adorkable 2,737

Wow, this is a really great song!

 

You may want to work on that intro, though. It started out a little slow. ^^;

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LIndaVonRee

LIndaVonRee 6

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Wow, this is a really great song!

 

You may want to work on that intro, though. It started out a little slow. ^^;

Thank you so much~!

Hm what do you mean by slow? I you mean the bass starting on its own, that's kinda the effect i wanted haha

Don't worry all critiques are accepted~! That's why I am here int he first place, I want to improve c:

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