The Cult of Pony Wisdom

[Ziggy + Angel + Rain 11,302]

I keep seeing topics pertaining to Brony-ism as a religion, how into it are we, so on and so forth...  Obviously we aren't members of a cult.  So let's totally start one!!  I'm calling it "The Cult of Pony Wisdom."  Thank you - I know it's an awesome name.

 

We, of course, revere and actively worship the Elements of Harmony, their respective bearers / goddesses, and the goddesses that bring us the day and the night.

 

Primary Gods / Godesses:

Princess Goddess Celestia: goddess of the sun / day!

Princess Goddess Luna: goddess of the moon / night!!

Cadence: goddess of Love (not strictly of a romantic nature)

Rainbow Dash: warrior goddess and bearer of the Element of Loyalty!!!

Pinkie Pie: goddess of mischief and bearer of the Element of Laughter!

Fluttershy: goddess of nature and bearer of the Element of Kindness.

Rarity: goddess of beauty(?) and bearer of the Element of Generosity.

Applejack: goddess of the harvest and bearer of the Element of Honesty.

Twilight Sparkle: goddess of knowledge and bearer of the Element of Magic.

Discord: god of chaos.  Because, darnit, it sounds cool.

 

Secondary Gods / Goddesses:

Sunshower Raindrops: goddess of "Kicking Misbehaving Clouds' Butts."

Derpy: maiden goddess of Innocence (and muffins).

Iron Will: god of "providing sacrifices to the gods."  I mean, he can't possibly need ALL those goats.

Big Mac: god of Judgement.

 

Other:

Spike: "clumsy dragon messenger of the gods."

Diamond Tiara: "Stealer of Blank Flanks"

 

Feel free to contribute to our burgeoning pony cult.  Being that I founded "The Cult (Colt?) of Pony Wisdom," I declare myself, ummm...  A Class 6...  Peridot-Eating...  Dragon.  Thing.

 

EDIT(s): child of the night named Discord ruler of the underworld and Tirek guardian of the underworld.

 

JLmle named Cadence goddess of Love (though not strictly romantic love; love and tolerance do apply).

 

Rainblow Hash suggested that "Cerberus should be Guardian of Tartarus, and Tirek is the Ruler of the Underworld."  But then he, sadly, abandoned our cult to worship Rainbow Dash.  Which I totally get.  But THEN he returned!  Praise Celestia!  And Rainbow Dash, also, for being kind enough to permit him reentry.

 

Star Stripe named Spike the "clumsy dragon messenger of the gods," and that was just too good not to include.

 

Sunshower Raindrops suggested that, um...  Sunshower Raindrops be named goddess of weather.  Rainblow Hash (who often says "lol" worthy things) suggested her title be "Goddess of Kicking Misbehaving Clouds' Butts."

 

Rainblow Hash named Iron Will "god of providing sacrifices to the gods," and I apparently just put whatever he says.  He then named Big Mac god of Judgement; stating that his Eeyups or Nopes determine whether somepony goes to Tartarus or Pony Paradise.

 

Rainblow Hash named Diamond Tiara "Stealer of Blank Flanks," elaborating that: "she steals your children at night and makes fun of them for all eternity for not having a special talent."

 

Sunshower Raindrops named Derpy the "maiden goddess of muffins," and 'twas seconded by Rainblow Hash.

Edited October 16, 2014 by PegaMister

[Arctic Night 884]

All hail King Ghidorah... Oops wrong cult....

[ghostfacekiller39 23,860]

Why don't I see Rarity in there?

[Rainblow H. Ash 5,091]

My first contribution is to point out that Rarity is nowhere to be found in our pantheon of Goddesses!

 

... she isn't our version of Satan is she? Cuz Rarity could totally be Satan.

 

[Ziggy + Angel + Rain 11,302]

Because I'm a forgetful idiot when listing things lol.  Worry not!  I corrected my error and flogged myself thirty times for my insult.

Edited June 10, 2014 by PegaMister

[ghostfacekiller39 23,860]

Because I'm a forgetful idiot when listing things lol.  Worry not!  I corrected my error and flogged myself thirty times for my unforgivable insult.

I think she's an excellent goddess of beauty Nice choice!

[Ziggy + Angel + Rain 11,302]

My first contribution is to point out that Rarity is nowhere to be found in our pantheon of Goddesses!

 

... she isn't our version of Satan is she? Cuz Rarity could totally be Satan.

 

OMG that's terrifying lol.  Missed opportunity. xD  Should Discord be in the mix?

[Rainblow H. Ash 5,091]

No Satan Rarity?

 

Aw well, she'll do manifique as Goddess of Beauty!

 

[ghostfacekiller39 23,860]

My first contribution is to point out that Rarity is nowhere to be found in our pantheon of Goddesses!

 

... she isn't our version of Satan is she? Cuz Rarity could totally be Satan.

 

If that were the case, I'd have to declare Satanism

Edited June 10, 2014 by ghostfacekiller39

[child of the night 271]

Hmm, if you ask me you should not have a direct placement as self proclaimed leader but we should have a democratic vote, anyway:

 

discord the ruler of the underworld

[Ziggy + Angel + Rain 11,302]

Hmm, if you ask me you should not have a direct placement as self proclaimed leader but we should have a democratic vote, anyway:

 

discord the ruler of the underworld

I'm not a leader; I just made up some nonsense title that means nothing lol.  People can contribute as they see fit; our power is equal.  Feel free to make up your own crazy title. xD

[Rainblow H. Ash 5,091]

If that were the case, I'd have to declare Satanism

 

Satan Rarity will always live on in our hearts...

 

 

 

 

 

[ghostfacekiller39 23,860]

Satan Rarity will always live on in our hearts...

 

 

 

 

 

What a glorious full moon.

 

Oh, and the rock in the sky looks nice, too

[child of the night 271]

tirek guardian of the underworld

[The JLmle 5,476]

What about Cadence; Goddess of Love; but not necessarily romantic love as much as the sort of love that is the tolerance and caring we're all supposed to have for each other.

[Ziggy + Angel + Rain 11,302]

What a glorious full moon.

 

Oh, and the rock in the sky looks nice, too

My true purpose was to somehow draw you away from the Rarity fan club (where I - for some reason - assume you might post), so that a certain other club might gain on it...  Success!  Until I...  I just told you.  Didn't I?

[Rainblow H. Ash 5,091]

What a glorious full moon.

 

Oh, and the rock in the sky looks nice, too

 

Holy crap, I just spit my drink all over the floor.

 

Got a little bit of Pinkie Pie in ya too!

 

tirek guardian of the underworld

 

Cerberus should be Guardian of Tartarus, and Tirek is the Ruler of the Underworld.

 

That's just my idea though. We can always vote on it!

 

Discord should be a Spirit of Chaos that tries to lead Bronies astray. Though I guess he already pretty much is....

[Ziggy + Angel + Rain 11,302]

Cerberus should be Guardian of Tartarus, and Tirek is the Ruler of the Underworld.

 

That's just my idea though. We can always vote on it!

 

I had no idea cults were so...  Democratic lol.  I wonder how many members we officially have. xD  We need a million.  I'm shooting for at least that.

[The Crimson Cross 7,532]

OMG that's terrifying lol.  Missed opportunity. xD  Should Discord be in the mix?

 

 

Hmm, if you ask me you should not have a direct placement as self proclaimed leader but we should have a democratic vote, anyway:

 

discord the ruler of the underworld

 

 

Holy crap, I just spit my drink all over the floor.

 

Got a little bit of Pinkie Pie in ya too!

 

 

Cerberus should be Guardian of Tartarus, and Tirek is the Ruler of the Underworld.

 

That's just my idea though. We can always vote on it!

 

Discord should be a Spirit of Chaos that tries to lead Bronies astray. Though I guess he already pretty much is....

 

I'd say yes. Definitely! Let there be chaos!

 

[Arctic Night 884]

Spike is the clumsy dragon messenger of the gods.

[Rainblow H. Ash 5,091]

I had no idea cults were so...  Democratic lol.  I wonder how many members we officially have. xD  We need a million.  I'm shooting for at least that.

 

*Whispers* You didn't hear this from me, but you should totally declare yourself Supreme Overlord of the Cult and have me as your loyal Adjudactor with unlimited power...

 

*Clears throat* Yep everypony, this is totally Democratic. Yeah.

[Ziggy + Angel + Rain 11,302]

*Whispers* You didn't hear this from me, but you should totally declare yourself Supreme Overlord of the Cult and have me as your loyal Adjudactor with unlimited power...

 

*Clears throat* Yep everypony, this is totally Democratic. Yeah.

I've so little actual power that it was questioned by someone with a filly avatar before I even called myself leader lol.  It was sad.

I'll try to keep editing the original post to reflect other people's recommendations.

[Rainblow H. Ash 5,091]

I've so little actual power that it was questioned by someone with a filly avatar before I even called myself leader lol.  It was sad.

 

... Good point.

 

I hereby decree that I, for the good of the cult, am I going to...

 

Sit back and worship Rainbow Dash in peace. I'm too cool to lead a cult, brothers and sisters. I'll just be a good cultist and do my own thing, ya dig?

 

I'd say yes. Definitely! Let there be chaos!

 

I couldn't have said it better myself!

[Ziggy + Angel + Rain 11,302]

... Good point.

 

I hereby decree that I, for the good of the cult, am I going to...

 

Sit back and worship Rainbow Dash in peace. I'm too cool to lead a cult, brothers and sisters. I'll just be a good cultist and do my own thing, ya dig?

 

'Tis sad, indeed!  We've already lost a member lol.  Err, I mean...  "The Cult of Pony Wisdom" is for LIFE!!!  Unless...  You don't like that.  In which case, toodle-oo and farewell!

[Ace O. Jade 122]

Lauren Faust would have to be the original Pope (Pone?)/Dalai Lama/whatever the crap it is we have. Meghan McCarthy is the second and current.