web Epic Rap Battles of History

[Windseeker 546]

Gay stuff is only gay when men do it. When girls do it, it's shipping fodder.

 

Dudes: *Hands accidentally touch as they brush past each other in the hallways* "N-no homo, bro!"

Girls: Hey, does my bra look cute or what? *Lifts up shirt* Other girl: Oh my gosh, it does! 8/10, at least!

 

[This is a joke.]

Thank you for explaining it! You explained it better than I would.

[Ruddboy Olaf 10,627]

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Edited July 10, 2017 by (Delete) NoOneImportant

[CheeryFox 23,811]

Oprah vs. Ellen was pretty good. 

[Ruddboy Olaf 10,627]

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Edited July 10, 2017 by (Delete) NoOneImportant

[An Unknown Pony. 370]

Well,a ERB Thread,My favs are:

Al Capone vs Blackbeard

Justin Bieber vs Beethoven

Skrillex vs Mozart

[EpitomeOfTruth 243]

Oprah vs. Ellen was pretty meh. Its gonna be tough to beat Hannibal vs. Jack the Ripper.

[Ruddboy Olaf 10,627]

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Edited July 10, 2017 by (Delete) NoOneImportant

[Stellafera 3,835]

I definitely think Ellen took it,though. 

 

Her flow was much better,and her flamboyance was a lot of fun to watch.

 

Really? I thought Oprah's disses/brags were a lot more on point. The "Second-hand Portia" pun (which was also a pretty good rebuttal to Ellen's point about the tax on a free car), "try to beef with me/I'll make the whole market crash", "Name synonymous with power/spell it forwards or backwards!". 

[Ruddboy Olaf 10,627]

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[Larkybird~ 734]

They finally made one I can't decide on who I think one.

They finally did it. Every battle I've seen I thought of a clear winner.

And now I don't know.

Edited December 15, 2014 by GhostlyWritings

[EpitomeOfTruth 243]

Man today's battle rocked. Didn't think they'd ever beat Lector vs. Ripper. As for who won, hate to say, but Michael Bay has my vote.

[Larkybird~ 734]

Man today's battle rocked. Didn't think they'd ever beat Lector vs. Ripper. As for who won, hate to say, but Michael Bay has my vote.

Though Bays entry and lines were funny. I'd say everyone but him won.

[Ruddboy Olaf 10,627]

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Edited July 10, 2017 by (Delete) NoOneImportant

[Larkybird~ 734]

I personally think the order of who won.

 

1. Quentin Tarantino 

2. Alfred Hitchcock

3. Stanley Kubrick

4. Michael Bay

5. Steven Spielberg

Nice list. But I unno. The only way Bay could be not at the bottom is if I counted the 'i f-----g knew it' for his appearance(he was basically mentioned by the other directors, which I found to be slight foreshadowing.) And the sheer over the topness he had. But if I didn't he'd be last.

[Ruddboy Olaf 10,627]

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[Stellafera 3,835]

Finally I have a favorite battle!

 

Guess I was a bigger fan of Spielberg's verse than most. I tend to be easily impressed by reference-rich verses and his almost reminded me of Stephen King with the back and forth movie-naming. Brilliant opening lines, other nice insults like "You produce Jimmy Stewart making one of two faces!", and frankly held up really well considering that the next 3 rappers chose to take potshots at him. 

 

And it's a testament to the battle that Spielberg was only my third favorite.

 

All of them aside from Kubrick were top notch, really. Kubrick spent most of his verse bragging about himself (and less amusingly than Micheal Bay) rather than insulting his opponents, though he was by no means bad. It's just that the others were fantastic.

 

1. Tarantino 

2. Bay (both of my parents put him as #1, certainly the funniest verse)

3. Spielberg

4. Hitchcock

 

 

5. Kubrick

 

Edit: Also, love that John Williams-esque track for the first two verses. 

Edited December 16, 2014 by Stellafera

[EpitomeOfTruth 243]

The thing about Bay and why I liked his verse so much is that while everyone was going on about how much of a genius they are (and rightfully so), Bay seemed to be the only one who understood how the movie industry works. It's all about the "mother fuckin' money!" To translate his verse: "Yeah, you guys are cinematic geniuses, but my stuff sells, so screw all you.

[Larkybird~ 734]

The thing about Bay and why I liked his verse so much is that while everyone was going on about how much of a genius they are (and rightfully so), Bay seemed to be the only one who understood how the movie industry works. It's all about the "mother fuckin' money!" To translate his verse: "Yeah, you guys are cinematic geniuses, but my stuff sells, so screw all you.

Fair point, I suppose I can give him a point for that too.

So he's got hilarious lines, hilariously over the top behavior, explosions(much as I don't like the guy's work, the explosions are great. I like explosions okay, shut up), and an understanding of the movie industry. I dunno though. The flows and rhymes were great but I just can't put him higher than 4 or maybe 3. I don't hate his work if anyone's thinking. I think he's sub par at best really.

[Coco Pommel 669]

I'd hate to say it, but I think Michael Bay won.

[CheeryFox 23,811]

Michael Bay won I'd say, lol. But Hitchcock was really hilarious too. 

[HiNote 90]

 

I have trouble thinking of one that tops this one. The comments for it get political, but what'd you expect?

I have a special liking for this one for one specific line.

You can probably guess which one it is.

[Coco Pommel 669]

Michael Bay won I'd say, lol. But Hitchcock was really hilarious too. 

"A close encounter of the turd kind." That phrase was bound to happen.

[Ruddboy Olaf 10,627]

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[CheeryFox 23,811]

 

Next one is hopefully Harry Houdini vs Criss Angel. 

(It's most likely Terminator vs Robocop,though.)

 

I would like to see both.   Also, I want to see more of Gorbachev and Beethoven. 

[Ruddboy Olaf 10,627]

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Edited July 10, 2017 by (Delete) NoOneImportant