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My "Friends" Hilariously Bad Gary Sue OC

Cyan Blue

By Cyan Blue, User

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Cyan Blue

Cyan Blue 946

(edited)

So, I posted this a while a go in a blog entry, so I decided to take it into a thread. This is hilarious! I hope you found it funny.

 

 

NOTE: This was posted a while ago, so I kind of act like an asshole. (I probably still am one for posting this)

 

ANOTHER NOTE: Friend was in quotations because he is kind of a dick to me.

 

So, to start it off, I want to show everyone my friends bad OC: Spark was born in canterlot to a wealthy family but his parents died when he was very young. Him and his brother Storm Hoof were sent to an orphange where he met a white and pink philly and future best friend Cloud Chaser. After about a year living happily in the orphanage, some events led to him, his brother and Cloud Chaser ending up in what was kinda like a colony set up by Princess Luna. They were called Night Children. One night when he was older (only a little younger then the mane 6) Him and Cloud Chaser got into a nasty fight (did i metion that it was during a storm?) and she flew off. She was struck by lightning and started to plummet towards the planet. Spark, being the fastest flyer in the world, took off like a rocket. So fast that a giant boom was heard for miles around. He did save he and they would go on to be lovers. Not long after Luna went insane and converted to. Nightmare Moon. When the night children would not be converted, she froze them in stone. When Luna was defeated 1000 years later by the mane 6, he went to live on AJ's farm to help out, along with Storm Hoof. His relationship had ended with Cloud Chaser but he had meant RD and they became friends, then best friends, the more then friends fast. He said this: You have more less developed OCs. I have more developed OCs.  

UPDATED NEW VERSION:

 

 

ThunderSpark was born during Discord's rule of equstria. What many dont know (mostly because its not written anywhere) is that it was not just one battle with discord where he encased in stone. It was a whole war, and many were lost. Spark was the leader of said army. But we are getting too far ahead, before that he worked on his family farm. Being a pegsai, it was hard at first, but eventually led to him having a better then average streanth. he had to carry all of the baskets on his wing leading hime to be a very fast flyer. Like RD, flying was his real passion, and we worked and worked until he became the fastest flyer in all of Equstira. (He is fater then RD, but barely) When the war broke, he and his brother decided to join the pegsai army. At first he and his brother (Who is also really fast) were used as hit and run agents, hence Agent Spark. During the war he went on to be leader, but was eventually imprisoned in stone in which the two sisters (celsetia and luna)magic could not break. During the war with nightmare moon she broke him and his top soldiers out of the stone and corrupted them. When she was defeated he was turned back in to stone and placed in the castle courtyard as celstia tried to figure out how to uncorrupt him, and break him out of the stone. 1000 years later (current time, takes place around the end of season one) The two sisters had found a way, and asked the mane six to help because they needed the elements of harmony.they got thme out of the stone, and uncorrupted them. Spark went on to live at AJ's farm and helped around the farm to repay her. Btw, my own universe that has spark in it, not he show universe img-2856403-1-ci94T8j.png

Edited by Dawn Rider

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Courageous Thunder Dash

Courageous Thunder Dash 7,824

@@Cyan Blue,

 

I have to say that that OC is indeed Gary Stu. It's a totally underdeveloped "rags to riches" story. 

  • Brohoof 1

img-8804-1-img-8804-1-post-9894-0-19940800-1399165776.jpg

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeWg-TtBRMfqketa1ELyKGg

Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/menelik-david-kenneth-cannady

2nd SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/thunder-dash-alternative/tracks

Pony.fm: https://pony.fm/thunder-dash

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Bastion

Bastion 414

that was possibly one of the poorest character descriptions I've ever read, kinda sad honestly, there were many copy pasted features here such as being rich early on, both parents dead, bad childhood and interactions with the mane 6, all I've seen before and the writer does not actually make it feel like he is putting effort into this, (did I mention it was during a storm) no you did not and this is not like you are telling me this story directly, you could just go back and edit that "During the storm, Spark and Cloud chaser were unable to handle the stress of this storm and broke out into a argument, which swiftly followed into a aggressive fight" would have been better :P

 

living forever/ a long time here is a issue, I know Hyper is immortal and such however in my case I explain the cause in a situation that is somewhat credible,  the reason for this character living so long is Nightmare Moon trapping them in stone (not "freezing" for god sake) with no reason as to why she did this, I guess Nightmare Moon goes by GTA logic?

 

Having a romantic (and possibly sexual from this description -_-) relationship with a main cannon character is a cardinal sin for OC's.

 

simply there is no explaining of a lot of motivations or events which makes it painful to read, but it can have some work to make it somewhat good, describe a lot of the situations, remove a lot of the bad stuff (living thousands of years for no reason, being a orphan and relationships with cannon characters) but I'm not going to do that, that's for him to sort out.

  • Brohoof 2

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A samurai pyromancer? That's a bit overpowered.

"Trust me, there is much more out there that's stronger than me, I'm a soldier, not a god"

 

http://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/burning-h-bastion-r5178

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Cyan Blue

Cyan Blue 946

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Your "friend"'s brainstorming process:

 

(Did I mention it was during a storm)

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Umbral Noir

Umbral Noir 1,556

And how does your "friend" think that is developed? ^_^ Very Gary Sue-like! "Fastest flier in the world" without any development or even being previously mentioned, makes it certainly a very weak description. There was no real description of the Night Children or this colony, and his change from being Cloud Chaser's "lover" to Rainbow Dash's "more than friends" makes this character seem like their best friendship with Cloud Chaser had a lot to be desired.

 

Apologies to the guy who made this Gary Sue OC, but he really needs a heck of a lot of work, or better yet, make a new one and clean the slate of the dark memories of the past!

  • Brohoof 1
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Everleaf

Everleaf 541

I (have) seen worse I gotta say for example

 

 

dragon sized dragon pony and stuff like that

 

alicorns bigger than Celestia also defeated Celestia/Luna off the throne

 

 

so on but yeah the backstory is kinda off I gotta say but hey I could be worse I guess...

 

Got any images of his oc I just wanna see what he looks like....

The deepest of the Everfree!

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Shift

Shift 4,272

Well, mate, the only thing I can say is...

 

Bitch please.

  • Brohoof 1

Have the courage to think and act on your own. And have the courage to disobey.

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Cyan Blue

Cyan Blue 946

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I (have) seen worse I gotta say for example

 

 

dragon sized dragon pony and stuff like that

 

alicorns bigger than Celestia also defeated Celestia/Luna off the throne

 

 

so on but yeah the backstory is kinda off I gotta say but hey I could be worse I guess...

 

Got any images of his oc I just wanna see what he looks like....

 

 

 

I'll ask for them later. It's pretty average,

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Banul

Banul 3,831

The OC is pretty dumb I guess, but do you really need to post it for everybody to jump in and make fun of the guy? I don't know, it strikes me as kind of a dick move, even if he isn't really your friend.

 

Maybe more people used to making OC's can give him some pointers instead, like Hyper did.

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Cyan Blue

Cyan Blue 946

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The OC is pretty dumb I guess, but do you really need to post it for everybody to jump in and make fun of the guy? I don't know, it strikes me as kind of a dick move, even if he isn't really your friend.

 

Maybe more people used to making OC's can give him some pointers instead, like Hyper did.

 

I'm not trying to get people to make fun of him. I just wanted to post it because it's funny.

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Scribblegroove

Scribblegroove 565

Has a gone ever thought of the possibility that this OC was made badly on purpose for the enjoyment of our simple souls? I can barely imagine a character being made that badly in all seriousness.

 

I mean, who is this "Friend" of yours even? Have you any proof that someone else and not you made this character? Just pointing out the flaws in this situation here...

 

I mean I could go ahead and make the worst character imaginable and then say my friend made it and post it in a thread right here, and have a good laugh while everyone takes it seriously... But I am not, because that would be stupid.

 

And on top of that, instead of posting this here to humiliate your "Friend", you also could've explained to him why his character is a bad one. If he ignores you, just ignore him right back and be done with it. No need to go and post stuff like this and infect the innocence of our eyeballs with this filthy OC...

I'm not trying to get people to make fun of him. I just wanted to post it because it's funny.

Do you think he finds it funny you posted it here in the context of "lol such a bad OC! XD" I think his heart lies broken in a pool of his own tears by now! You monster! :c

How would you walk, how would you talk if you thought: "Three percent of the population likes classical music, if only we could get it up to four percent we'd be back in business and all our problems would be over." How would you walk, how would you talk if you thought: "Everybody loves classical music! They just haven't found out about it yet!" It's an entirely different world. It's what you make of it that counts.

 

I found an easy way to find out if you've inspired someone. If their eyes are shining, you know you're doing it!

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Cyan Blue

Cyan Blue 946

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Has a gone ever thought of the possibility that this OC was made badly on purpose for the enjoyment of our simple souls? I can barely imagine a character being made that badly in all seriousness.

 

I mean, who is this "Friend" of yours even? Have you any proof that someone else and not you made this character? Just pointing out the flaws in this situation here...

 

I mean I could go ahead and make the worst character imaginable and then say my friend made it and post it in a thread right here, and have a good laugh while everyone takes it seriously... But I am not, because that would be stupid.

 

And on top of that, instead of posting this here to humiliate your "Friend", you also could've explained to him why his character is a bad one. If he ignores you, just ignore him right back and be done with it. No need to go and post stuff like this and infect the innocence of our eyeballs with this filthy OC...

 

Do you think he finds it funny you posted it here in the context of "lol such a bad OC! XD" I think his heart lies broken in a pool of his own tears by now! You monster! :c

 

Judging by his personality, I think not. He's not really my friend. He's always making fun of me.

 

You know what, I'm going to get rid of this topic. I knew it would turn to shit somehow.

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Scribblegroove

Scribblegroove 565

Judging by his personality, I think not. He's not really my friend. He's always making fun of me.

 

You know what, I'm going to get rid of this topic. I knew it would turn to shit somehow.

It's not really turned to shit, I'm just the first person to comment on how it might be a little shit... No need to panic.

How would you walk, how would you talk if you thought: "Three percent of the population likes classical music, if only we could get it up to four percent we'd be back in business and all our problems would be over." How would you walk, how would you talk if you thought: "Everybody loves classical music! They just haven't found out about it yet!" It's an entirely different world. It's what you make of it that counts.

 

I found an easy way to find out if you've inspired someone. If their eyes are shining, you know you're doing it!

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Cyan Blue

Cyan Blue 946

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It's not really turned to shit, I'm just the first person to comment on how it might be a little shit... No need to panic.

 

*Second.

 

 

It will turn to shit later. Trust me.

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King

King 5,625

(edited)

This isn't really a topic worthy of a discussion and would be better posted as a blog.
As such, Im locking the thread.

Edited by Dawn Rider

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Goddamn right, you should be scared of me

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