Lines you'll never catch FIM characters saying.

[Singe 2,111]

Twilight Sparkle: Why won't you just eat Pinkie's pies?

Rainbow Dash: They taste like cardboard with jelly.

 

Sunburst: Well, I didn't want to pretend to be a foal, but I know you wanted to play. I thought it'd be fun to play a version big enough for full-grown ponies. What do you think? Fun, right?

Starlight Glimmer: Actually, it's missing something a bit more adult. *Uses magic.*

Sunburst: *Sweat drop.* What's with all that gear?

Starlight Glimmer: You will call me your queen.

Trixie Lulamoon: Now it makes sense where her controlling side comes from.

 

Star Swirl the Bearded: Stygian was the name the Pony of Shadows gave up when he turned to darkness.

Starlight Glimmer: And I'm just trying to figure out why.

Star Swirl the Bearded: Envy. He was a complete loser who wanted more power because he was always complaining about not getting any praise, and that desire led him down a path of being more of a loser!

Starlight Glimmer: Twilight your idol is sounding like he might be reason Stygian became the way he is now.

Twilight Sparkle: I...

Star Swirl the Bearded: I used to mock that loser every chance I got. Threw in some of those old time offensive slurs. 

Starlight Glimmer: I guess I'm lucky your idol wasn't around when you decided to be my friend.

Star Swirl the Bearded: Oh, I have plenty I would say about you but no time.

 

 

 

 

 

[Le Trotteur Sauvage 13,051]

Applejack : "well I sure do love pears !"

[Singe 2,111]

Rainbow Dash: I even left a recipe to make that amazing cleaner in the journal, because I'm.....

Starlight Glimmer: That's a recipe for mustard gas.

Rainbow Dash: What?!

 

Twilight Sparkle: I think we may need to leave out those bible verses you tend to reference and the parts about sinners going to hell.

Applejack: That's blasphemy. I'm telling the truth and only one book has always been the truth.

 

Applejack: If I'm wrong, I'll eat my hat and wear it the next day.

Rarity: Please don't make me have to see that.

 

Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash doing a three stooges routine.

 

Pinkie Pie: If we don't do something Rarity could end up like a crazy cat lady.

Rainbow Dash: Just like Fluttershy.

 

Rarity: Handsome, how would you like to model for me privately?

 

Starlight Glimmer: Granny Smith, what are you doing here?

Granny Smith: I heard you had a spell that could make a pony young again.

 

Zecora: Yes, I do have that special poison you asked for that can't be detected.

 

 

 

 

[Singe 2,111]

Star Swirl the Bearded: It was you who taught me, Princess Twilight.

Twilight Sparkle: *Goes all fan girl.* You're the greatest!

Star Swirl the Bearded: Awfully loud for a compliment!

Twilight Sparkle: I love you!

Star Swirl the Bearded: Yes! Yes!

Twilight Sparkle: Be my special some pony!

Princess Celestia: Okay, can you take Twilight some place so she can calm down!

Applejack: Will do!

Princess Luna: Honestly, I can't believe someone finds him attractive.

 

 

Edited November 18, 2017 by Singe

[heavens-champion 1,905]

Celestia: Out of fear for his own power, our father tried to devour me and my sister. I escaped, and together with all of the races of Equestria, we overthrew him.

(This is a reference to Greek Mythology, where Cronus ate his kids, except for Zeus, so he won't be overthrown)

[King of Canterlot 9,603]

Rainbow Dash: "The Wonderbolts are so lame!"

Fluttershy: "I'm tired of caring for the animals" 

Applejack: "I don't feel like bucking apples today" 

[Castle Bleck 19,366]

Stygian (upon becoming The Pony Of Shadows for the first time): "I'M THE DARKBRINGER! I'M THE BUCKING UNIVERSE!"

 

 

Edited November 18, 2017 by A.V.

[Sparklefan1234 171,157]

Princess Celestia: *Tired and annoyed* "Raise your *own* sun Equestria!" *Goes back to sleep*

Twilight Sparkle: "I prefer audio books."

Applejack: "I'm a vegetarian."

Apple Bloom: "Why'd I want a Cutie Mark again?"

Mayor Mare: "Buy more mane dye? Check!"

Babs Seed  "That "Bad Seed" song's pretty catchy, I wonder who it's about?" 

[MilkTea 284]

Twilight (As a princess): F r i e n d s h i p  i s  m e a n i n g l e s s .

Edited November 19, 2017 by MilkTeaFD

[Singe 2,111]

Twilight Sparkle: Friendship is just an abstraction. It has no magical properties. I'm just asking every pony to give me a portion of their own magical power to merge and release in one spell. The only reason I spout all that friendship noise is because it plays on their religion of a noble purpose.

Edited November 20, 2017 by Singe

[Singe 2,111]

Rarity: *Cries. Rips paper off her tail.* Rainbow Dash! No wonder everyone in town was calling me that name. They were calling me a gardening tool all along.

Rainbow Dash: Ha. The joke was to trick you into thinking they were calling that when they weren't.

[Luigi 7,870]

Fluttershy: E6.

Rainbow Dash: Miss. G4

Fluttershy: Hit. C3!

Rainbow Dash: Miss. F4.

Fluttershy: Miss.

Rainbow Dash: Is Fluttershy cheating right now?

Fluttershy: WHAT?

Twilight Sparkle: You don't put the hit marker on your own water, you put it on the radar, Fluttershy.

(Rainbow laughs)

Fluttershy: I haven't hit hers yet. I moved my ship.

Applejack: Yer not supposed to do that. Once ya put a ship somewhere, it stays there.

Rainbow Dash: So you DID cheat!

Fluttershy: I didn't know it was against the rules.

Rainbow Dash: What the heck, Fluttershy?

[Flutterstep 47,088]

Fluttershy: Do you girls ever wonder what it would be like to kiss a stallion?

Rainbow: Well, yeah...that's a pretty normal thought for a mare actually. Why? You thinking about kissing Big Mac? *bursts out laughing*

Fluttershy: What? No! Gross! Why would ever want to kiss a stallion? That just ain't natural...besides, I don't wanna catch any farm diseases from that dirty family.

Applejack: Excuse me!? 

[cmarston1 5,959]

1 hour ago, Flutterstep said:

Fluttershy: Do you girls ever wonder what it would be like to kiss a stallion?

Rainbow: Well, yeah...that's a pretty normal thought for a mare actually. Why? You thinking about kissing Big Mac? *bursts out laughing*

Fluttershy: What? No! Gross! Why would ever want to kiss a stallion? That just ain't natural...besides, I don't wanna catch any farm diseases from that dirty family.

Applejack: Excuse me!? 

Fluttershy: You heard me.

[Flutterstep 47,088]

5 minutes ago, cmarston1 said:

Fluttershy: You heard me.

Applejack: Sugar cube, you talk about my family like that again, ah beat the feather outta ya! 

[Singe 2,111]

Maud Pie: This is my boyfriend Tom.

Trixie Moon: *Looks at Tom.* You do wash it after using it?

Maud Pie: Ha. Good joke.

 

Rainbow Dash: I'm ready to drink some cider, get plastered, and make a lot of mistakes.

 

Random Friendship Lesson Book Reader: I don't even know why Rarity is so focused about her looks. She hasn't attracted anyone with them except her pet slave dragon.

 

Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie what happened to you?

Pinkie Pie: You know electric fence, guard dogs, violent security guards, tasers, being arrested, being forcibly handled for resisting arrest, thrown in jail, fighting off the other prisoners from getting shank, and all just to try to be a friend to the new pony in Ponyville.

[CypherHoof 26,483]

Twilight: Look pinkie, I will get Celestia to fix this for you THIS time, but you just HAVE to stop violating restraining orders.

Pinkie: Okie Dokey!

Twilight: I'm serious here Pinkie; dungeons are no fun!

Rarity: Says who?

Spike: Yes mistress...

[General Solar Magus 471]

Spike: "I should probably go live with the other dragons now."

Celestia: "I'm taking a break."

Granny Smith: "I'm dyin'...."

Queen Crysallis: "Friendship is Magic."

Celestia and Luna: "How did I even get here? Do I even have parents?"

Flim and Flam: "Does anypony know ours surnames, or are we both just one word?"

Any of the Yack's: "We've finally stopped naming ourselves at the start of every sentence. Hazaa!!"

Anypony: "Don't look at me, I'm naked."

Anypony: "So .... do we even have a King or Queen, or do the Princesses just like the title?"

Anypony : "How did we even build all of these cities without hands?"

The Cutie Mark Crusaders: "I'm going to not say the words Cutie-Mark for a whole day. Oops."

Anypony: "Where is the army every time a villain attacks? Do we really rely on 6 random mares from a small town to protect the whole country? What are those armed guards in Canterlot Castle even for?"

Celestia: "My hair is always in the way!"

Celestia and Luna: "Why am I twice the size of everypony else?"

Diamond Tiara: "If I take this off, do I have to change my name?"

Daring Do to any of her enemies: "I've finally put you in prison. No more evil doing or trickery from you."

Ex Dragon lord Torch: "Why am I so freakishly large in comparison to other dragons?"

Twighlight Sparkle: "I can teleport, shoot magical beams, travel in time, bring back my idol from thousands of years ago, walk on a roof upside down, switch my friends Cutie-Marks, and levitate a small army of ponies, but I can't invent a spell to put the knowledge of a book I like straight into my head."

Anypony: "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse."

[Luigi 7,870]

(Big McIntosh, Shining Armor, and Soarin are streaming Mario Party 6, when they get Deep Sea Salvage as a minigame)

Big McIntosh: And I get.............. wood.

(About a minute later, Shining Armor reads the chat's reaction to what Big Mac said)

Shining Armor: Did you just say that you have wood?!?!?!?!?! Because the chat is bugging out saying "I get wood!"

Big Mac: (Sigh) Eeyup. (Beads of nervous sweat roll down Big Mac's face)

(Soarin laughs while S.A. audibly groans)

S.A.: Mac, did you ever read that internet slang book that Starlight Glimmer bought you? Because you might need to.

Soarin: (Is still laughing) You know, Big Mac says he has wood, and it's only minutes away from midnight.

S.A.: (LAUGHS) This may be our worst stream yet. We may not even upload it to YouTube.

[Will Guide 21,360]

StarSwirl: Did anypony ever found out who my parents are?

[NullAccount 287]

Derpy: I just don't know what went wrong. 

[CypherHoof 26,483]

1 hour ago, Northern Light Dashie said:

(Big McIntosh, Shining Armor, and Soarin are streaming Mario Party 6, when they get Deep Sea Salvage as a minigame)

Big McIntosh: And I get.............. wood.

(About a minute later, Shining Armor reads the chat's reaction to what Big Mac said)

Shining Armor: Did you just say that you have wood?!?!?!?!?! Because the chat is bugging out saying "I get wood!"

Big Mac: (Sigh) Eeyup. (Beads of nervous sweat roll down Big Mac's face)

(Soarin laughs while S.A. audibly groans)

S.A.: Mac, did you ever read that internet slang book that Starlight Glimmer bought you? Because you might need to.

Soarin: (Is still laughing) You know, Big Mac says he has wood, and it's only minutes away from midnight.

S.A.: (LAUGHS) This may be our worst stream yet. We may not even upload it to YouTube.

<Sugar Belle has left chat>

1 hour ago, WiiGuy2014 said:

StarSwirl: Did anypony ever found out who my parents are?

Starswirl: Oh bugger, we're back. Did you lot actually TELL your partners and children we were going to go into LImbo for thousands of years?

[Flutterstep 47,088]

Vinyl: Hey Fluttershy, wanna buck?

Fluttershy: Let's go... *punches then dives on her*

[Luigi 7,870]

(Shining Armor is streaming "Death Road to Canada" with Thorax, Soarin, and Sunburst co-commentating)

Shining Armor: (Reading text) Mystery of the Ghost Fart: It's just another day on the death road when someone farts in the car. Drama and mystery consume the team. Pick someone to blame. Sunburst tells everyone to cool it, or Rainbow, Cadance, or Big McIntosh. Do we blame one of those three or does Sunburst yell at everyone? (Sunburst laughs)

Soarin: I think Sunburst DID IT!

Thorax: Yeah, Sunburst needs to step up here.

Sunburst: Well here's the thing, apparently I can't be blamed for this.

S.A.: (Laughs) It's true, you're not a blame option. You just tell everyone to cool it.

Thorax: I agree.

Soarin: Honestly, it's just a fart.

S.A.: Here we go! (Reading text) Sunburst tells everyone to cool it. Beads of nervous sweat roll down Sunburst's face, yet nothing can be proven.

Sunburst: So was it me?

S.A.: I dunno, but Big McIntosh's morale somehow fell to garbage, my wife's went down, everyone's morale went down a lot.

[Singe 2,111]

Rarity: I met this cute colt and he invited me to his place. So I went yada yada and left in the morning.

Rainbow Dash: Well there was this one Pegasus that wanted me to show him a few tricks. So we got together for a training session yada yada and he's improved over time.

Applejack: I had a visitor over at my farm and I gave him a tour. We made a stop at the barn yada yada and he helped me with some work on the farm for the day.

Twilight Sparkle: I was curled up in bed with a good book until it got to this one part yada yada, that was an amazing moment.

Pinkie Pie: I can't hold this any longer, Fluttershy do you yada yada with those animals that stay at your place?

Fluttershy: What?! NO!

Starlight Glimmer: What are you all going yada yada on about?

 

Edited November 25, 2017 by Singe