Lines you'll never catch FIM characters saying.

[Singe 2,111]

Starlight Glimmer: Look Twilight most of the time your way of making friends to resolve the issue works, but other times they need to fight it out.  Even if it means busting some skulls.

Rainbow Dash: Yeah, friendship has been boring lately. I'm more interested in seeing how this goes.

 

Rarity: I'm never having another clearance sale. Just can't stand the barbaric mane and tail ripping over my dresses.

 

Twilight Sparkle: You see my students are doing great learning about friendship.

Neighsay: You believe they are merely students but in fact they're, spies.

Twilight Sparkle: Spies?

Neighsay: Your spy ring of students have been sneaking out at night gathering intel for their countries.

[Singe 2,111]

Spike: I got over the molting and now I have my wings.

Smolder: That's just phase 1.

Spike: What?

Smolder: A dragon goes through several different phases. The next one will have you hungering for pony meat. Since you're living with ponies, enjoy your meal.

Spike: I can't eat ponies.

Smolder: You have too or you'll starve to death.

 

Twilight Sparkle: The cutie map has summoned me and....

Trixie: The great and powerful Trixie.

Twilight Sparkle and Trixie: *At each other.* The map summoned you?

Starlight Glimmer: The map must have wanted you two to bury the hatchet between the both of you.

Twilight Sparkle: It must be broken.

Trixie: I agree.

 

 

 

[RDDash 19,189]

Twilight Sparkle: Did I mentioned that Alicorns are imortal.

Everypony else: Yes,  like a billion times.

Twilight Sparkle: I mean it, I am going to live forever and ever, completely alone, and, I am going to see all of my friends di-i-i-e

 

 

 

[Twilight Luna 31,407]

Rainbow Dash: The Wonderbolts? They're losers!

[Singe 2,111]

Rainbow Dash: Has anyone read the paper today?

Twilight Sparkle: Not yet. Why?

Rainbow Dash: Look at this. There is an anonymous column that allows any pony to say what they don't like. This one is talking trash about the Wonderbolts calling them an elite flying circus club. 

Starlight Glimmer: I read about that, it's actually pretty spot on.

Rainbow Dash: What?

Starlight Glimmer: They really wanted you like a princess to an elite's social event. I haven't heard the Wonderbolts do anything else but put on shows.

Rainbow Dash: They do others things, I'll prove it.

 

[Flutterstep 47,090]

Twilight: I really hate Fluttershy. 

Fluttershy: Not this again...

Rainbow: She is such a baby! 

Pinkie: At least babies are cute. Fluttershy is hideous to look at! 

AJ: We should go hunting sometime Fluttershy...you'll do good for a rug. You're already a doormat. 

Fluttershy: Please stop... 

Rarity: Oh Fluttershy darling. Do get lost. Us friends are trying to have a conversation. 

[Singe 2,111]

Spoiler

 

Seen this frame and couldn't resist doing some captions.

 

 

Edited June 6, 2018 by Singe

[Thorgir the Mighty 736]

Scootaloo: Applebloom,how come Big Macintosh only says “eeyup” and “nope”?

Applebloom: I don’t know ta be honest,let’s go ask Applejack!

*later*

Applebloom: Applejack! How come Big Mac only says two words?

Applejack: I’d rather not talk about this...

Applebloom: How bad can it be?

Scootaloo & Sweetie Belle: He WHAT?!?

Applebloom: Apparently Big Mac   was brainwashed by Granny Smith because he hated apples at one point...

[Singe 2,111]

Discord: If it's Heart and Hooves day, shouldn't you be attached to Rarity's leg?

 

Cranky: I'm so sorry about what happened officer.

Officer: Don't worry Cranky. Your story of Pinkie Pie trying to break into your house and your justified use of self-defense story checks out.

 

Pinkie Pie: Look at that poser taking my job of welcoming ponies to Ponyville. You're too bat guano insane for everyone they said and replace me with her!

Derpy: Welcome to Ponyville. *Holds up tray.* Muffin?

Visitor: Why yes.

Pinkie Pie: She's good.

 

Twilight Sparkle: Has anybody seen Rarity?
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, she eloped with one of the students.

Twilight Sparkle: For the love of Celestia. I told everyone there would be no romantic relationships in my school between the staff and students.

 

Applejack: It's always smart to be honest.

Pony student: Like how the ponies are the superior creatures with the only first rate society and all other creatures come from third rate societies to leech off our bounty..

Applejack: And it's smarter to keep your yap shut when it's unwanted. .

 

Twilight Sparkle: Starlight you've been getting a lot of positive feedback from the students.

Starlight Glimmer: That's great...

Twilight Sparkle: But they're mostly from the boys that want to date you.

 

Twilight Sparkle: We have to find the missing students. Before they become too good friends and want to experiment past the physical boundaries of their personal spaces and cross species..

Edited June 8, 2018 by Singe

[Singe 2,111]

Twilight Sparkle: A letter from our top graduate. *Read.* Dear Twilight Sparkle, I was able to get an interview for my dream job. When asked about my best skill, I said friendship. *Stops reading.* Here it comes.*Read.* However, that wasn't the answer they were looking for. The lessons I was taught in your school was sub-par to the other applicants that graduated at average. I was turned down, your school let me down. Good-bye, cruel joke. *Stops reading.* It ends there. 

Starlight Glimmer: Wow. I guess we'll have to come up with a solution before....

Spike: Hey, you got more letters from our first graduated class. Let me tell you, it's depressing.

 

Applebloom: Twilight please tell us why you won't let us become students.

Twilight Sparkle: You want to know why? It's because I don't want another visit from Neighsay breathing down my neck. *Mimics Neighsay.* Princess Twilight, how dare you pilfer students from a real EEA accredited school to your shoddy school and uncertified teachers. Bleh. Bleh. Bleh. *Stops.*

Sweetie Belle: But your school is better.

Scootaloo: It's like a kindergarten class with recess all the time.

Twilight Sparkle: Sigh. What am I even doing? My school is a joke.

 

Starlight Glimmer: No one needs to speak with the guidance councilor. That's it, I'm creating fake love letters and drumming up work.

 

Applejack: So you're doing all this because you want to go to Twilight's school?
Applebloom: Yes.

Applejack: Hell, no. We don't teach anything worth of squat at that school. It's just friendship and non-sense on a repeating cycle.

 

Sweetie Belle: Can I go to Twilight's school?

Rarity: No. The education is garbage. Twilight just makes us teach friendship and entertain the creatures like some show pony.

 

Rainbow Dash: Scootaloo, what are you doing in my class?

Scootaloo: I'm here to learn about friendship.

Rainbow Dash: Fine, just sit there and don't interrupt me again.

Scootaloo: You're not going to tell me no and kick me out?

Rainbow Dash: I'm not your mom.

 

Edited June 10, 2018 by Singe

[RDDash 19,189]

Scootaloo: Mom!

Rainbow Dash: Yeah. I mean what do want Scoots? I mean... You know what just forget it

Scootaloo: What the hay?

[Singe 2,111]

Sunset Shimmer: Fine, if you won't let me be a princess then I'll start my own kingdom with blackjack and bookers. In fact, forget the kingdom!

 

Celestia: Twilight Sparkle, I am very dis...

Applejack: Pardon me, Princess. Could you not say that d word around Twilight? She's been having a problem of jumping off roofs when she hears you say that word.

 

Sweetie Belle: Rarity is my big sister.

Rarity: Sweetie Belle, stop telling everyone I'm fat.

 

Big Mac: Sugar Belle, I am so sorry.

Sugar Belle: I don't want to hear it. We're broken up and I've already found someone else.

Big Mac: That fast?

Sugar Belle: It's the holiday and there are desperate single ponies around making it easy to find one.

 

Spike: Come on, admit it. You're in love with Fluttershy.

Discord: First off, no. Second, ewwwwwww! She live with animals. There's no telling what she does with them.

 

Fluttershy: *Sneezes.* The doctor said that I'm allergic being around animals and I can't be around them anymore unless they're hypoallergenic.

Edited June 11, 2018 by Singe

[Singe 2,111]

Twilight Sparkle: Gabby Gums is out of control. Princess Celestia funneling tax money for her all you can eat buffet. That's crazy.

Applejack: I know.

Twilight Sparkle: Applejack not a friend but a slave master. Testimony from her animals on the farm of her being a slave driver.

Applejack: That's outrageous.

Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy secretly keeps a hairless bipedal chained up in her basement to forcefully cuddle with.

Fluttershy: It's consensual, honest.

Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie Pie shunned from the party circuit for offensive jokes.

Pinkie Pie: It's true. Everyone is too sensitive nowadays.

Rainbow Dash: My life is officially over. Everyone thinks I either juice or a dude.

Rarity: Please you are all overly exaggerating... Rarity uses glamour magic to hide her flaws. How would she know that?!

[Singe 2,111]

Queen Chrysalis: I need to get my revenge against Starlight Glimmer and will need the most evilest being of all, lawyers! *Evil laugh.*

*One week later.*

Judge: The court finds in favor of the plaintiff and the defendant owes her restitution in the value of one kingdom.

Starlight Glimmer: What just happened?!

Princess Celestia: That's what I want to know. How in the hay did Chrysalis get our kingdom through our justice system?

Queen Chrysalis: The ponies, the elements, and your lives. I own it all! *Evil laugh.*

 

Princess Luna: I don't think Tirek's punishment suits him.

Princess Celestia: You're right. Muzzle him and toss him in a pool of leeches.

 

Starlight Glimmer: Oh right Starlight. When the first student comes in asking for your guidance. You're going to give them a blanket, a pillow, hot cocoa, and lots of reassuring love. No wait, back that up. I know you're desperate and pent up, but you can't do that.

Edited June 12, 2018 by Singe

[Singe 2,111]

Mean Twilight: You had them. Why didn't you destroy them then?

Queen Chrysalis: I couldn't they're too powerful and I don't have an army.

Mean Twilight: Excuses. Just single them out one by one using your shape-shifting powers to lure them into a trap and pop their little mane's off. It's not that hard and is easier than this wild goose chase scheme you're concocting.

Queen Chrysalis: You're right. My original plan to go after the elements of harmony has too many unknowns. Taking out one of the others would render them useless. I no longer have any need for you all. 

 

Applejack: What did you do to Big Mac? He's just standing there staring and drooling

Starlight Glimmer: I may have made a miscalculation on my spell that turned him into a vegetable.

 

Fluttershy: *Cries.*
Pinkie Pie: There. There. Twilight is right, you do need to get over it.

 

Trixie Lulamoon: I'm going to be honest about the changelings new look. They all look like mutants that came from an explosion of the rainbow side of the weather factory. 

 

Rainbow Dash: I said I was sorry.

Twilight Sparkle: Sorry doesn't cut it. When you prank us we don''t grab a metal pipe and swing it around like some lunatic. You broke Rarity's horn. Applejack lost some teeth. The Cutie Mark crusaders are scarred emotionally. You struck many of us in the head.

Rainbow Dash: I was going for the quickest way to kill, I mean deal with a zombie.

 

Fluttershy: Starlight why are you pinning that student down on the floor?

Starlight Glimmer: I was just teaching him how to be assertive.

Fluttershy: Oh, okay.

Edited June 17, 2018 by Singe

[Lucid_Nightlight 923]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but no character will ever say...

NORMIES!!!!!! REEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!

If they do, I'll be amazed.

[Flutterstep 47,090]

Fluttershy: This shy act sure gets me a spot on fan's best ponies list. 

AJ: Apples this...apples that. I'm sure getting tired of apples. Might try another fruit for a change. 

Rarity: I'm a white unicorn. Such a cliche! 

[cmarston1 5,959]

Granny Smith:  Sometimes I think, is this all there is? Is life just some kinda horrific joke without a punchline? That we are all just biding our time until the sweet, sweet relief of death?

Apple Bloom: 

[Dashy 4 Ever 4,835]

Rainbow Dash: I am 1% slower than fluttershy.

Spike: Translation: Life happens, get a life.

[Ganondorf8 11,322]

Lord Tirek: Friendship is Magic.

[heavens-champion 1,905]

Princess Celestia: I am the Princess of the Night!

Princess Luna: I am the Princess of Daylight!

[CypherHoof 26,483]

21 hours ago, heavens-champion said:

Princess Celestia: I am the Princess of the Night!

Princess Luna: I am the Princess of Daylight!

So the power of daylight is hers to command then?

[A French Derpy full of Salt 404]

I really want at least a single pony could say:

I'm eleven of ten disappointed.

Who's an ugly pony? Yes, You are!

Whack 'em all up so their mom won't recognize them! (a little too harsh)

 

[Will Guide 21,360]

Zephyr Breeze: So, I heard this insane pony called Mane-iac has ridiculous hair. Better get my boss, Babs Seed to help me tame that wild mane.

Twilight Sparkle: It's no fair that Spike got control of his wings faster than I did!

[Singe 2,111]

Rainbow Dash: This is my impression of Twilight. Blah blah blah, friendship magic goooood.

Twilight Sparkle: I don't sound like that.

Applejack: To be honest, that was spot on.

 

Applejack: Did you hear, Spike can fly.

Sweetie Belle: What are you doing with that hammer?

Scootaloo: I'm gonna to break them wings.