When does Over-Positivity Become Damaging?

[Moved to Elsewhere 11,331]

So, this is a common trend in the depths of the internet: The idea of positivity. Now, it's natural for a lot of people to love positivity, whether it's praising something you like or you getting praised. However, it comes to a point where it can actually damage you negatively. I see this all the time on the internet, not specifically to this forum or anything. People will be surrounded by a group of people giving them constant praise even if it's for doing very minimal things, that when someone criticizes them, their content, or their artwork, they will throw a butthurt fit of rage and probably block the user, even if it's just constructive. Now why might this happen you ask? Well the person could've had this problem their whole life but maybe it might also be caused by the constant praise.

 

I mean think about it, you're constantly surrounded by friends always raving about how great you are and are never wrong, that your brain becomes used to that to the point where negativity becomes too much to handle. This might be a psychological thing but don't quote me on that I'm not a doctor. Back on topic, you probably forget what it's like to deal with someone telling you what's wrong with something you did, because you've got people just following you telling you everything you do right and nothing you do wrong. This kind of mentality is actually pretty damaging and can stunt your behavior socially from what I've observed on the internet over the years. I feel this trend becomes common with Youtubers and artists, and heck, I've even seen it leak on to this forum a few times.

 

So, what do you think? How damaging can too much positivity be? I'm not saying it's wrong to be positive towards something you like, but just remember to be constructive to someone if there is a need to.

[Nuke87654 1,849]

I follow the simple guideline that is always better to be critical about your actions and be motivated to judge for why you're being criticized as such instead of being praised to the point that you're afraid of accepting that perhaps your view is incorrect. Being positive for your abilities is never a bad thing, but you should never let it get to the point that the mere idea that you're wrong or insufficient about something is traumatizing to you. 

[Rainbowdash_82 404]

For me it is this:

 

Positivity is good but If you recieve too much positivity then you get tired or bored of it, then you start feeling like annoyed which eventually leads to feeling sad or mad or negative towards yourself for reciving too much positive stuff or compliments! (It happened at school alot) I know this because I went through it! 

[Hovershy 3,814]

I actually never really thought about it like this Chikorita. This needed to be said.

 

Constructive criticism is important, but you need to about it in a good way. For example if your giving someone feedback on a drawing, you should say something like "Looks really good, I like ___ but I think you should try ____"

 

Being too positive is bad, but too negative is worse.

[vivishy 1,032]

I mean sure praise is ok but like you said too much of it is bad. Too much of anything is bad. Usually when i do give praise or be positive in that way I try not to be critical mostly because I don't want to be that one jerk that said it was bad or whatever, like I just want to avoid conflict, and not damage my relationship with the person I'm praising. 

[Guest]

I think when it reaches levels of fanboy/girlism. Fanboys and fangirls are generally very destructive due to being unable to look at anything objectively to do with their interests. I also believe it becomes a problem when people start becoming pleased with very low quality content.

 

That being said, I have run into a few users on this very forum who block anyone who speaks negatively about their ill-informed opinions so they never have to confront the possibility that they are wrong.

Edited September 30, 2015 by Guest

[Frostgage 7,975]

Hmm this is an interesting topic. I could probably be seen by a lot of people as over-positive. This is why I don't generally critique things

 

I agree too much positivity can be damaging even if it's not apparent at the time. I'd say it becomes a problem when it's unwarranted and just given for the heck of it, even if I'm admittedly guilty of this at times.

[Guest]

Warped perspectives in general are damaging. A common one I find is people using the universally disliked to justify wronging them. An example being any time Hasbro files a cease and desist. Regardless if they are within their rights, people just think "big corporation, therefore it's bad" but if Hasbro was a tiny 4 man independent development team, people would suddenly feel sorry for them. Any perspective that can hinder objective thinking can result in damage.

[SpikusFyre 486]

I've never really experienced over-positivity so I don't really have a frame of reference other than that if you're only told positive things then you never improve. I have however experienced over-negativity for very long periods of time and, well, never improved from that either because I basically stopped trying and started only caring about entertaining myself. It's a wonder I even do anything anymore.

[Akari of Duskshire 581]

I only know that sometimes it's better to just have a good cry and let everything out than it is to try and be positive all the time.  

[PROJECT: Simon 3,953]

I think some people will get tired of it and become negative~!! <3

[ConcorDisparate 385]

I got banned from some forums for actually being objective toward someone's work.

 

People just didn't like it. It's part their fault, part mine, I learned being a friend doesn't mean criticizing everything they do, for their own good. It also means praising their work when it's not that impressive. Otherwise they stop working and it's not efficient at all.

[TigerGeekGuy 4,662]

Oh man, I am guilty of this. I almost always praise works of art that I find to be rather good, even though the artist him/herself sees flaws in it, or if a work of art is bad, I'll just leave it be and not say anything so I don't come off as a jerk. Generally, I just want the artist to feel good about his/her art and to see the positive side of things. I also don't critique things because I have no knowledge of the processes involved in producing a work of art, just the final artwork and my opinion. Now I see that these may both be damaging.

 

I see your point, over-positivity can certainly be damaging, especially in large amounts. Little compliments here and there may be beneficial, but you may have to limit them and be critical at some point in time so to find a balance between the two - positive and negative feedback.

 

Is it possible the Brony fandom suffers from this a lot more than other fandoms? Given the over-positive atmosphere that FiM provides, the sheer popularity of it, and the constant flood of new members that experience fanmade creations, I would think so.

[gamecubeguy214 2,512]

I see positivity as:

So you think you're good at something? Well guess what. Everything you do, there's someone better than you at it. You think you're the very best, but no one ever was. So stop thinking you're so good and accept that you suck at everything. From this explaination, positivity doesn't even existt. Note that I'm not targetting anyone specific if I sounded like I was. The sad truth of the world is that the only positive things are positive charges, numbers, and other things you'd learn in school with a positive symbol on it.

Edited September 30, 2015 by gamecubeguy214

[Rainbowdash_82 404]

I see positivity as:

So you think you're good at something? Well guess what. Everything you do, there's someone better than you at it. You think you're the very best, but no one ever was. So stop thinking you're so good and accept that you suck at everything. From this explaination, positivity doesn't even existt. Note that I'm not targetting anyone specific if I sounded like I was.

OMG that is so cruel but so true!  :okiedokielokie:

[Guest]

 

 

Is it possible the Brony fandom suffers from this a lot more than other fandoms? Given the over-positive atmosphere that FiM provides, the sheer popularity of it, and the constant flood of new members that experience fanmade creations, I would think so.

 

I used to work for a few brony sites as an admin. I will say from experience that this site thus far is one of the few where the staff do not take instant action over disagreements. Sites I worked on the disagreements over something so trivial would spark a huge flame war, and the staff would often just appear and delete topics (much to my disapproval) and just discourage engaging discussion entirely due to it being too likely to form a debate. As a result, controversial topics are regularly purged and watched by several staff members posting several "reminders" to play nice before anything bad even happens the moment of creation.

 

This trend seems particularly common among brony sites, though not exclusive to it. Sadly, on these kinds of sites and the internet in general, blocking features are often misused to perpetuate self-indulgence. Ideally blocking should be used only to stop legitimate harassment, however because people can simply block all contact with anyone who disagrees with their opinion on the internet, they often are never forced to face the reality that they may be wrong, misinformed or even just be required to see things from another perspective for even a moment. This is the unfortunate drawback of the internet.

 

Bronies are not the worst offenders, but I can definitely say that they would rate up higher on the scale than other fandoms in terms of inability to accept criticism.

[SparklingSquirrels 21,329]

Personally, I just try to appreciate things for what they are. When one of my friends draws a picture for me, I don't like to criticize it, because... well as they say, "don't look a gift horse in the mouth". It really is the thought that counts, and I just like to be grateful when I recieve a gift.

 

As for me, I sometimes feel disappointed when my friends' criticize my gifts for them, since I was never trying to draw something perfect; I just wanted to surprise them with something to say "thanks for being a great friend". Still, I know that it's a habit of some people to criticize things.

 

I don't know if I completely understand what's going on here, but that's my take on it.

Edited September 30, 2015 by SparklingSwirls

[DND 2,355]

Overall, It's not necessarily bad that you are 'overly positive' as you take it. However, I would advise on reflecting what seems realistic and plausible. Life is full of risks, it's entirely composed of risks actually. As long as you feel you have a good grip on your decision-making skills, being as positive as you are shouldn't be your issue. Pessimism is all too common and what particularly pessimistic people usually argue that being such makes you 'more intelligent' but either way handling a potentially positive outcome the wrong way, or a way that may not reach that outcome all comes down to your performance. Sometimes whether you predict it or not, life gives you choices and depending on who you are and how you take it, It's a big complicated amalgamation of both positivity and negativity. Both play an important role. Favoring one over the other, or practicing one over another is not right or wrong.

[Adri 52]

I personally think that over-positivity is rather unhealthy and naive, as, like you said and others said, it causes people to be less objective and become more sensitive to criticism. Prasing other people without also acknowledging their flaws and/or constantly telling white lies might make them more detached from reality, and form an unrealistic pollyanna-esque attitude in them. 

 

The actions and character of other people should be reviewed in a constructive manner, and you shouldn't be afraid of offending someone in your criticisms since in the long run it might be more beneficial for them. You also shouldn't be too negative in your criticisms, as total pessism won't get you that far and might be more dangerous than being blindly optimistic. 

 

hopefully this jumble of words makes sense

Edited October 1, 2015 by lurker

[Kyoshi Frost Wolf 41,298]

As many have said, it can damage one's ability to be constructive and objective, especially about their own work. I know this from experience, most of my life was filled with people complimenting me for whatever I did, so I did not get 'sad' about it, this gave me the illusion that I was some special snowflake. Then it all hit me eventually, "Wait, I have no actual talents at all." And that was a bit hard to take in, because of all the past praise I receives. I highly appreciate praise now, I do, if I get any, but because of those past experiences, now I have a hard time actually taking any praise to heart. As in, I appreciate it, but I find it difficult to agree with any praise I receive. So in a way, over-positivity has damaged that aspect of me. 

[Invincible 2,091]

You shouldn't ever do things to actively seek positive remarks from others. If you can't feel positive about your own work, the work you do for your sake, you won't be able to enjoy it for long 

[Malinter 3,064]

"Too much of a good thing is bad."

 

Trying to keep a positive attitude up most of the the time is generally a good idea to have  but it should be built upon your own actions and not just niceties from others alone as when that support is suddenly removed, it has a tendency of crumbling to the ground,

 

Its also mentally stressful to force yourself to stay positive all the time. It isn't a bad thing if one feels tired or frustrated when their efforts aren't turning out the way they would like. Its just your body telling you "This isn't working for us." and usually a sign that you need to stop what your doing, have a break and then come back and see if you can work through with a clearer head.

 

Part of Positivity is also accepting Negativity. Not everyone will like your work as you do. Some will be negative but offer ways you can improve. Others will just be negative out of pure spite from their own lack of skill.

 

TL:DR: Be positive... just don't go overboard with it. XD

[Winterbass 763]

I'm always positive and optimistic about my life and most of the other people I talk to and am with are positive as well. I don't think it ever became a problem though, I have no problem handling negativity, criticism or stopped being realistic.

 

I guess when it comes to being too positive the real problem starts when people are fooling themselves that everything is okay. That they are "fine" or that the situation they are in is "not as bad as it seems". Instead of dealing with their situation right away seriously, they just go about their day as they always do. The situation gets worse and they panic, they spiral down and feel like they can't do anything. Or when they come to realize how bad they actually do feel for themselves, it starts to eat away at them. This tug-and-pull of fooling yourself to stay positive while everything grows out of control and how dire the situation really is can have a heavy effect on your psyche. Being unable to take any criticism is just one little thing, becoming blind to reality is something a whole lot worse in my opinion. When staying positivty is the only thing you can do, that's where it starts to really poison you.

[CuriousPony 157]

All I can really think of to say about this is the phrase, "all sunshine creates a desert." I found that on another website, and I thought it was interesting...

[EpicEnergy 23,150]

Positivity becomes damaging when you ignore reality.