searching Bangcolt Arena! (Fighting/Sol) -OOC- (Never closed)

[Hazard Time 1,127]

So... is this thing dead again, or...?

 

I'm just waiting on to post a response    Didn't want to cut him out of the thread.

[Thunder Tinker 659]

Let's see if I can write up a reply. Busy school life has been....devastating. For RP replies, anyways.

[Vae Victis 742]

 

And here we have the Guts in his natural habitat. Assaulted on all fronts by responsibilities, the Guts makes up for his lack of energy with physics-breaking ingenuity, dragging himself back onto the forums to resume some much-needed creative fulfillment.  

[Hazard Time 1,127]

Also, I should mention:  I have icons for the siblings now '3'

 

 

[DarkusX 69]

Well ill be finishing up on Falza's abilities and bio as of now,.... so I'm free for a challenge request for later.

[P-Jay 1,987]

@@Denim&Venom, 

 

just thought I'd say sorry for not being as eager on posting as i should've been. XD plus, for the bs hax. 

 

...

 

its just hard to make a fight between a tank and a pirate interesting. XD

[Fractured 2,684]

@@Denim&Venom, 

 

its just hard to make a fight between a tank and a pirate interesting. XD

 

 

Also

Takes a breath of air

Let's see what I can do here.

[Denim&Venöm 19,016]

@@P-Jay,

It's alright. Sorry for not making it very interesting on my end.  

[J.R. 3,183]

This looks like fun, is Bill acceptable?

 

https://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/bill-statue-r9668

 

The time it takes for him to reform would be longer than a fight, it is effectively his way of being unconscious.

Sure. He's in. XD

[Fractured 2,684]

Well ill be finishing up on Falza's abilities and bio as of now,.... so I'm free for a challenge request for later.

If that's the case, then i'm throwing in the lovely miss Anne:

https://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/mary-brightstrings-anette-r8187

[Hazard Time 1,127]

@@Fractured

 

Could you give my memory a jog about Erroria?

[Fractured 2,684]

@@Fractured

 

Could you give my memory a jog about Erroria?

 

 

Erroria is... an anomaly. Sort of born before the beginning of time, out of a glitch in the universe...sort of born with ridiculous, often completely logic breaking powers that occurs when she sneezes (looks back on the time she summoned an Alien out of a hat, and turned Nightingale into a sugarcube). Sort of a ridiculously adorable pony foal with a habit of breaking into spontaneous bouts of singing and interpretive dance numbers. She works at Trixie's shop, and sort of takes over for stuff while's she's away.

Mind you, recent events in her timeline have seen the number of world altering moments drop drastically, what with her learning somewhat to control her normal magic and her getting her cutie mark. But she herself hasn't changed a bit.

[Square 69]

Sure. He's in. XD

So... do I just go in?

[J.R. 3,183]

So... do I just go in?

Yup. Have your OC arrive into the city.

[DarkusX 69]

@@Fractured, Hmm.... guess I will accept this challenge and start it off till later.

[Techno Universal 2,575]

I guess I should join so Techno should be acceptable: https://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/techno-universal-r9672

And also for the RP he lives in his company HQ in Bangcolt known as the Celestial labs tower.

In battle the opponent can interfere with his system if they use a certain form of magic on him and it may actually crash his system!!!

And his backstory isn't going to be his main backstory in the RP.

[J.R. 3,183]

I guess I should join so Techno should be acceptable: https://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/techno-universal-r9672

And also for the RP he lives in his company HQ in Bangcolt known as the Celestial labs tower.

In battle the opponent can interfere with his system if they use a certain form of magic on him and it may actually crash his system!!!

And his backstory isn't going to be his main backstory in the RP.

Sorry. But he doesn't fit in line with the rules. I will haveto reject him unless youcan revise him.

[Techno Universal 2,575]

Sorry. But he doesn't fit in line with the rules. I will haveto reject him unless youcan revise him.

Well I actually do need to know what rules he doesn't meet so I can so I can figure out what changes to do. If that makes sense.

[J.R. 3,183]

Well I actually do need to know what rules he doesn't meet so I can so I can figure out what changes to do. If that makes sense.

First off, his backstory doesn't seem to fit. Secondly, this guy seems to be "OP" by average standards, and would only be able to challenge other OP characters. Thirdly, his entire characterization is too little to be considered.

[DarkusX 69]

@@Techno Universal,

 

With a nonaggressive but playful tone

 

"He was a universal being and had control over the DATANET the system that controls everything in existence."

(Yah I'm pretty sure a guy who controls anything in existence will have problems with a pony that fire beams of magic from its horn)

 

"So he started developing impossible technology - "

(Technology that is IMPOSSIBLE.... yet he can create it.)

 

" - and eventually started building the ponies one by one then eventually building himself into a Alicorn body that is him now."

(I'm pretty sure making himself an Alicorn is pretty amazingly useless for someone that powerful)

 

"he also built his brother (Glitch universal) and his sister (Foust universal) into Alicorns as well."

(Great... even more Universe busters.... the more to utterly lose against without lifting a hoof.)

 

Basically hes just GOD with legs.

 

But before I end this post, I'll leave a free happy face.

Edited November 14, 2016 by DarkusX

[Fractured 2,684]

And in the twilight of Bangcolt, attempts to bring life to the heart that beats within brought rise to something terrible...

...Just kidding. It's only Temperance!

https://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/temperance-conceptual-r9591

( Side-note: For those of you who know her, she is much, much weaker than her original incarnation. But twice as adorable.  )

[Techno Universal 2,575]

Well I came up with a good backstory for the RP!!

 

Well it started when a dragon destroyed a mountain in a battle with the main 6 around 5 years ago. When the mountain collapsed they noticed a strange grey Alicorn in the rocks with black shiny eyes that looked like LED screens. When Twilight examined the rocks a bit more she said that whatever that Alicorn is he has been buried in solid rock for more than 2000 years. So they took him back to Twilight's lab and called the princesses over. Princess Luna did remember a strange blue astroid that had binery numbers in its glowing trail. It impacted into that very same mountain when it was a active volcano around 2000 years ago. So they started studying him further and eventually they accidentally opened a maintenance panel where his wing was revealing he was some sort of indestructible and futuristic robot. And there was a strange motor looking device inside that had a information plate on it that read: UNIVERSAL ENERGY GENERATOR DESIGNED FOR UNIT: UA:001 TECHNO UNIVERSAL

MANUFACTURED BY: CELESTIAL LABS.INC © 2045

So Twilight thought she could get the generator started so she zapped it with magic and it lit up with blue lines on it and even the cables in the hach all lit up as if he was coming back to life. And his eyes lit up displaying a boot-up screen saying: ALSTROME-RUNNING AUTO BRAIN REBOOT...

And within a few seconds his eyes went normal and his main and tail lit up and started flowing. He first asked how long has it been since the accident. The ponies had no idea what accident he was talking about so they replied with what was the accident? And he said he couldn't remember much and all he could remember was who he was. Apparently he was a word leader that monitored everything. So he started introducing tons of unknown futuristic technologies to equestria like computers that where able to use magic as it was also known as universal energy. He then decided to build his office tower in Bangcolt that ended up being a 2000 meter tall skyscraper. Currently Techno lives in his office and assists with royalty but he still hasn't learned most of his capabilities yet. He dose of course know by this point that he is a brain connected to a auto command system in his robotic body.

 

So hopefully this backstory fits in better for the RP!!!

[Fractured 2,684]

Well I came up with a good backstory for the RP!!

 

Well it started when a dragon destroyed a mountain in a battle with the main 6 around 5 years ago. When the mountain collapsed they noticed a strange grey Alicorn in the rocks with black shiny eyes that looked like LED screens. When Twilight examined the rocks a bit more she said that whatever that Alicorn is he has been buried in solid rock for more than 2000 years. So they took him back to Twilight's lab and called the princesses over. Princess Luna did remember a strange blue astroid that had binery numbers in its glowing trail. It impacted into that very same mountain when it was a active volcano around 2000 years ago. So they started studying him further and eventually they accidentally opened a maintenance panel where his wing was revealing he was some sort of indestructible and futuristic robot. And there was a strange motor looking device inside that had a information plate on it that read: UNIVERSAL ENERGY GENERATOR DESIGNED FOR UNIT: UA:001 TECHNO UNIVERSAL

MANUFACTURED BY: CELESTIAL LABS.INC © 2045

So Twilight thought she could get the generator started so she zapped it with magic and it lit up with blue lines on it and even the cables in the hach all lit up as if he was coming back to life. And his eyes lit up displaying a boot-up screen saying: ALSTROME-RUNNING AUTO BRAIN REBOOT...

And within a few seconds his eyes went normal and his main and tail lit up and started flowing. He first asked how long has it been since the accident. The ponies had no idea what accident he was talking about so they replied with what was the accident? And he said he couldn't remember much and all he could remember was who he was. Apparently he was a word leader that monitored everything. So he started introducing tons of unknown futuristic technologies to equestria like computers that where able to use magic as it was also known as universal energy. He then decided to build his office tower in Bangcolt that ended up being a 2000 meter tall skyscraper. Currently Techno lives in his office and assists with royalty but he still hasn't learned most of his capabilities yet. He dose of course know by this point that he is a brain connected to a auto command system in his robotic body.

 

So hopefully this backstory fits in better for the RP!!!

...

Everything. Wrong. With. This post.

(Because it needs to be said.)

-Foreword: Honestly, it may just seem like i'm calling you out. That is not my intention. My intention is to point out some critical flaws, and to get you to start thinking about how you could make your OC better. Not just for this RP, but for the future. So with that in mind...

Everything. Wrong. With. This post.

(Well it started when a dragon destroyed a mountain in a battle with the main 6 around 5 years ago. )

-I'm just going sin once for grammar, since honestly, when it comes to developing character or backstories, it doesn't really matter as long as it's legible. The sin is for the fact that I can read this, but at key points, it's tough to. And autocorrect is making it clear that you could have stood to correct at least a few more words, so...

*ding*

-For most RP's, referencing canon characters in backstories is a big taboo if you're not the DM. Primarily because...

​1) The DM may have their own plans or interpretations for these characters, leading to a possible discrepancy if you're not in sync with them.

2) The DM may actually have those canon characters that they're already playing, leading to an actual discrepancy if you're not in sync with them

3) Not everyone can accurately roleplay canon characters. Even for good RP'ers, it's a possibility their backstories may include out of character moments for canons that make no sense in context. 

*ding*

-Now, here's the odd bit- I can actually imagine the Mane Six destroying a mountain in their fight with a dragon. They've done crazier on multiple occasions. What I can't believe is that an event this big involving the Mane Six wouldn't be any kind of newsworthy. It really doesn't make much sense to involve the Mane Six at all, actually; you could've just said a random dragon pulverized a random landmass, and it would've been roughly the same.

*ding*

( When the mountain collapsed they noticed a strange grey Alicorn in the rocks with black shiny eyes that looked like LED screens.)

-This is all we get, and honestly, it's not enough. From the top:

1) Why is he buried in the rocks? Or even the mountain? Who put him there? Did he land there himself? If so, how?

2) Why is an "indestructible" pony (more on that later) buried in the rocks anyways? Did he simply run out of power? If so, that seems like a pretty serious design flaw for a universal entity.

3) Why an alicorn? I mean, that's not from a perspective of bias; tons of my characters are alicorns. Case in point:

https://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/juniper-hollyheart-r9560

https://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/princess-erroria-r8757

...But here, it seems superfluous. I mean, with his particular set of abilities, he could've been any of the other three tribes, and still achieved the same result. I mean, you could argue wings, but we've still seen unicorns fly...

*ding*

(When Twilight examined the rocks a bit more she said that whatever that Alicorn is he has been buried in solid rock for more than 2000 years. )

-Another reason we avoid canons: like I mentioned before, sometimes not having them makes more sense. A team of researchers could've done the same job as the princesses and Celestia here, and it would've made a ton more sense going forward.

*ding*

-Minus one sin, because Twilight is actually enough of a loser to be able to do carbon dating off the top of her head. Now that's good character portrayal.

*gnid*

(Princess Luna did remember a strange blue astroid that had binery numbers in its glowing trail.)

-The world of MLP is a medieval world, at the very least just passing into steampunk. The locomotive is a huge thing here. Why am I bringing this up? Because there's no way Luna or any other pony in Equestria would be able to understand binary numbers, or what they represent.

*ding*

( So they started studying him further and eventually they accidentally opened a maintenance panel where his wing was revealing he was some sort of indestructible and futuristic robot.)

Okay... here's my gripe with "indestructible."

 

-First, exactly how is this pony "indestructible"? Through body composition? Through magical influence? Through divine inheritance? There's dozens of ways a pony can be "indestructible," and all of can and do require a specific explanation. This is not a catch all term you can simply slap on a character.

 

-To what extent is this character "indestructible"? These things are more relative than you think. For instance, an ant bite to an ordinary person might not hurt at all.To an ant, said pony would be immune to the damage and hence seem "indestructible," even though in the general sense of things, they're quite small.

 

In your case, your character is a universal entity, which understandably would seem indestructible inherently to everything in the mortal realm. But as someone who owns several multiversal and higher entities as characters, I can tell you that this isn't a guarantee to any form of natural immunity.

 

All of this to say, if your character were hit by an attack that wiped out millions of multiverses (That is, collaborations of billions of universes and everything within them), would he die?

If the answer is yes, then he's not indestructible.

If the answer is no, then he's not a universal entity. And this character needs a re-evaluation.

-In what ways is your character indestructible? That is, there are many ways to attack a being without affecting the body directly. For instance, his body may be impervious to damage, but is he weak to lightning? Fire? Freezing? What happens if you submerge him in water? What about his mind; can it be affected by telepaths? Can he be hacked? What if someone decided to divide him on a molecular level, or rip him apart at the atomic level? Or increase his mass until he formed into a black hole? Is he immune to all of that? And if so, how? And why?

*ding*

 

(So Twilight thought she could get the generator started so she zapped it with magic and it lit up with blue lines on it and even the cables in the hach all lit up as if he was coming back to life.)

I'm not quite sure I understand how this works. Does he use magic to run? If so, that would imply that he doesn't have the ability to generate his own, or he wouldn't have run out in the first place. Unless he burnt up all of his reserves, in which case, how could Twilight Sparkle possibly fill up a universal entity and get him to run again? I mean, I know she's powerful, but that's like a AA battery charging up an international electrical power grid!

*ding*

( And within a few seconds his eyes went normal and his main and tail lit up and started flowing. He first asked how long has it been since the accident. The ponies had no idea what accident he was talking about so they replied with what was the accident? And he said he couldn't remember much and all he could remember was who he was. Apparently he was a word leader that monitored everything.)

 

I was going to make a note of how odd it is that he can't remember anything, but can somehow remember an accident. But then I decided to let it go, because amnesia can be tricky like that. One guy woke up knowing how to speak a different language. But then...

(So he started introducing tons of unknown futuristic technologies to equestria like computers that where able to use magic as it was also known as universal energy.)

"I'm going to need a lot more than dew, and...universe juice."

 

 

-More on topic, if he forgot everything, how exactly is he remembering how all of these technologies are constructed? The type of technology isn't very specific, but if it's to the extent that he's able to build computers, then the associations required to build that alone should bring something back! Anything!

*ding*

-Is "Universal" energy referring to a new energy source, or the fact that it contains a universal amount of energy? If it's the former, where did he get it, and how is he accessing it? And how is everyone else accessing it? If it's the latter, that's a heck a lot of energy for an ordinary computer, let alone hundreds.

*ding*

(He then decided to build his office tower in Bangcolt that ended up being a 2000 meter tall skyscraper.)

 

Do you mean 200? Because 2000 is over 6,000 feet, of which the world's tallest building only caps out at... 800. Or roughly 7 times higher than that, and literally a mile in the sky. And as someone who quite literally built the map of Bangcolt, I can tell ya... none of the buildings are anywhere close to that height. Bangcolt doesn't even have skyscrapers.

*ding*

(He dose of course know by this point that he is a brain connected to a auto command system in his robotic body.)

 

Now i'm just wondering whose brain is plugged into that machine, since an organic pony brain and a robot suit don't exactly go along together. That seems like an interesting thing that could be explained in more detail. On an actual character sheet.

 

*ding*

Sin total: 11

Sin Sentence: Gritty re-boot.

(Side-note: this was not an attempt to be mean, or to debase your character. I truly believe any OC can be good, regardless of their origins. Me more than most. This is purely me having a fun attempt to get you to analyze particular things about your characters, so you can better address them when you're trying to build them. So hopefully, you can start being accepted into more RP's, if you already aren't.)

[J.R. 3,183]

@@MistaShifta,

Sorry, but due to recent internal developments, I will have to ask you to leave the RP.

[Hazard Time 1,127]

Just waiting on @ to make a reply again, but while we're waiting, I got some more expressions of the twins commissioned ;p

 

 

 

 

 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3472Q6kvg0#t=1m4s

 

 

Edited November 19, 2016 by Hazard Time