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Reflecting. I typically say people need to reflect to make themselves and the world a better place, but sometimes it isn’t such a good thing… I’m tired.

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6 hours ago, DubWolf said:

Reflecting. I typically say people need to reflect to make themselves and the world a better place, but sometimes it isn’t such a good thing… I’m tired.

Our society is a group project that a lot of people are failing and that makes it hard. It's certainly a hard time to be someone that cares and wants less suffering in the world.

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I broke a solder pad on a PCB I was working on when trying to desolder a diode, luckily I was able to fix it by running a jumper wire across.

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My stepdad just so happened to do what he needed to do avoid a divorce with my mom but, maybe selfishly, I didn't want that to happen. :maud: I'm tired of the way he treats us, especially my mom, and I'm even more tired that Mom keeps putting up with it! If this was my husband, I would've divorced him a loooong time ago! No, I wouldn't have even gotten to marriage!

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4 minutes ago, ExplosionMare said:

My stepdad just so happened to do what he needed to do avoid a divorce with my mom but, maybe selfishly, I didn't want that to happen. :maud: I'm tired of the way he treats us, especially my mom, and I'm even more tired that Mom keeps putting up with it! If this was my husband, I would've divorced him a loooong time ago! No, I wouldn't have even gotten to marriage!

I’m sorry to hear you’re going through that. I feel the same way with my parents and my grandparents. I really don’t get this mentality of staying with someone who you pretty much hate and argue with 24/7. 

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7 minutes ago, Clawdeen said:

I’m sorry to hear you’re going through that. I feel the same way with my parents and my grandparents. I really don’t get this mentality of staying with someone who you pretty much hate and argue with 24/7. 

My theory is that people in those relationships must, in a way, actually like that sort of drama! Either that or someone is being too cowardly. Sometimes I feel like my mom just needs more courage because she's always saying how "she doesn't want a relationship like she had with my dad" but then here she is, married to someone else who isn't much better. I really don't understand.

Well...I guess I kind of understand since I was once in a similar situation with relationships...I don't know, I get abusive relationships are hard to leave but Mom's always upset and crying about the way she's treated and I always tell her that that "relationship" isn't worth it, but that doesn't do it for her. She's been on a breaking point so many times, though, so I don't know why she hasn't fully snapped out of this relationship yet.

It's just sad to see how she isn't taking the best care of herself because she's sacrificing herself for someone who never really seems to care if we're even dead or alive. :ajsleepy:

I know you've had your own share of issues lately so don't feel pressured to give any advice or anything! :hug2: I just needed a chance to talk these things out, so thanks for listening!

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7 minutes ago, ExplosionMare said:

My theory is that people in those relationships must, in a way, actually like that sort of drama! Either that or someone is being too cowardly. Sometimes I feel like my mom just needs more courage because she's always saying how "she doesn't want a relationship like she had with my dad" but then here she is, married to someone else who isn't much better. I really don't understand.

Well...I guess I kind of understand since I was once in a similar situation with relationships...I don't know, I get abusive relationships are hard to leave but Mom's always upset and crying about the way she's treated and I always tell her that that "relationship" isn't worth it, but that doesn't do it for her. She's been on a breaking point so many times, though, so I don't know why she hasn't fully snapped out of this relationship yet.

It's just sad to see how she isn't taking the best care of herself because she's sacrificing herself for someone who never really seems to care if we're even dead or alive. :ajsleepy:

I know you've had your own share of issues lately so don't feel pressured to give any advice or anything! :hug2: I just needed a chance to talk these things out, so thanks for listening!

I’m always here if you need to talk! I get it. Besides my parents/grandparents I have some cousins in some bad relationships. We’re talking Jerry Springer/Maury show level of mess. Part of seeing what my cousins were going through when I was in high school was actually part of the reason I was so anti dating back then. Even now two out of three of those cousins are in bad relationships. Married. 

It’s unfortunate how those things happen. Because my dad swore he would never turn into his father. Yet here we are and as he’s getting older he’s become a lot like his dad. (Which you can’t tell him because it’ll start a fight.) And he’s married to someone who behaves just like his father. Like you said it’s hard because it’s understanding that for different reasons these sort of relationships are hard to leave and at the same time it’s also like. I would never. 

I’m sorry to hear you’re going through this as well as your mother. As I’m sure this is difficult on you as well as your mother. I know it’s hard to sit and watch as these things happen as it affects you too. I hope someday your mother is able to leave him for not just her own mental health but for yours too. You both deserve better.

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Moments ago, Clawdeen said:

I’m always here if you need to talk! I get it. Besides my parents/grandparents I have some cousins in some bad relationships. We’re talking Jerry Springer/Maury show level of mess. Part of seeing what my cousins were going through when I was in high school was actually part of the reason I was so anti dating back then. Even now two out of three of those cousins are in bad relationships. Married. 

It’s unfortunate how those things happen. Because my dad swore he would never turn into his father. Yet here we are and as he’s getting older he’s become a lot like his dad. (Which you can’t tell him because it’ll start a fight.) And he’s married to someone who behaves just like his father. Like you said it’s hard because it’s understanding that for different reasons these sort of relationships are hard to leave and at the same time it’s also like. I would never. 

I’m sorry to hear you’re going through this as well as your mother. As I’m sure this is difficult on you as well as your mother. I know it’s hard to sit and watch as these things happen as it affects you too. I hope someday your mother is able to leave him for not just her own mental health but for yours too. You both deserve better.

I really appreciate that! I'm always here for you, too! :hug2: Also, yikes, I'm sorry that there's so much chaos with your cousins' relationships!

It's harder than people think to break a generational cycle, isn't it? :fluttershysad:

I appreciate that! Yes, it sure is! It's made me very anti-dating too, along with my own relationship traumas and being a demisexual. I hope so too! I also hope she wouldn't just pick another guy like this again! There's just gotta be a mature and decent man out there for her, right?

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Moments ago, ExplosionMare said:

I really appreciate that! I'm always here for you, too! :hug2: Also, yikes, I'm sorry that there's so much chaos with your cousins' relationships!

It's harder than people think to break a generational cycle, isn't it? :fluttershysad:

I appreciate that! Yes, it sure is! It's made me very anti-dating too, along with my own relationship traumas and being a demisexual. I hope so too! I also hope she wouldn't just pick another guy like this again! There's just gotta be a mature and decent man out there for her, right?

My grandmother has either 12 or 14 siblings. I can’t even remember. They all had kids. Those kids had kids, etc. I got a lot of cousins. Because my grandmother has always loved to gossip Ive always gotten told stories. Especially when she’d visit her sisters. I’ve been told a lot of wild stuff over the years 💀 

Absolutely! Theres 100% a decent better man out there for her. It’s just making sure like you said she doesn’t immediately find the same sort of person. Thats why it helps to have a good support system to spot out red flags that you would otherwise miss yourself. 🚩 

Yeah myself I’ve realized I’m panromantic and either demi or ace myself. Along with my own traumas, upbringing and witnessing bad relationships has made me feel weird with dating and getting close to people. Not that I’ve not tried as I’ve shared my past stories with dates I’ve went on here lol 😂 Which again is why I mention the good support system to catch red flags. Because some of those people I likely missed something with those first dates I had with them lol.

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1 minute ago, Clawdeen said:

My grandmother has either 12 or 14 siblings. I can’t even remember. They all had kids. Those kids had kids, etc. I got a lot of cousins. Because my grandmother has always loved to gossip Ive always gotten told stories. Especially when she’d visit her sisters. I’ve been told a lot of wild stuff over the years 💀 

Absolutely! Theres 100% a decent better man out there for her. It’s just making sure like you said she doesn’t immediately find the same sort of person. Thats why it helps to have a good support system to spot out red flags that you would otherwise miss yourself. 🚩 

Yeah myself I’ve realized I’m panromantic and either demi or ace myself. Along with my own traumas, upbringing and witnessing bad relationships has made me feel weird with dating and getting close to people. Not that I’ve not tried as I’ve shared my past stories with dates I’ve went on here lol 😂 Which again is why I mention the good support system to catch red flags. Because some of those people I likely missed something with those first dates I had with them lol.

Now that is a looot of siblings! :pip-err:

For sure!

Hooray for being demi/ace buddies! :brohoof:  Sorry you've had traumatic struggles with relationships, though! Dating just seems so hard for everybody these days and I wish there was an easier answer to some of it! Like you've said though, a good support system goes a long way!

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(edited)

"A Goofy Movie" is 30 years old! :flutter-gasp: This makes me "sad" but not really. 🫤

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23 hours ago, Sparklefan1234 said:

"A Goofy Movie" is 30 years old! :flutter-gasp: This makes me "sad" but not really. 🫤

What makes me sad about this is that Disney never bothered to re-release A Goofy Movie on Blu-ray to celebrate its 30th anniversary. I missed out on the Disney Movie Club exclusive Blu-ray and regret it because the pricing of second hand copies shot up into the stratosphere. :double-shock:

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I just wish I could stop feeling romantically lonely when I know it's gonna be harder to find someone than stay single. I'm not even sure why I feel that way because I've never been a super "romancy" person to begin with.

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(edited)
38 minutes ago, ExplosionMare said:

I just wish I could stop feeling romantically lonely when I know it's gonna be harder to find someone than stay single. I'm not even sure why I feel that way because I've never been a super "romancy" person to begin with.

Maybe it’s not the romance, but the kind of companionship you actually seek that you could usually only get through a partner :ooh: . Usually…

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6 minutes ago, ExplosionMare said:

I just wish I could stop feeling romantically lonely when I know it's gonna be harder to find someone than stay single. I'm not even sure why I feel that way because I've never been a super "romancy" person to begin with.

The way I feel exactly the same. It’s easy to find somebody it’s hard to find somebody of quality tbh. It’s why I really hate how dating apps are the thing nowadays. Which let me not get on a big rant about it but. Nobody fills in an about me section these days. Even on Bumble. It’s very looks based and I can’t connect with other people based off of looks. You’re hot? Great and? How does this help me know if I’m going to be able to have a conversation with you or not. Or even want to tbh.💀 People who don’t write anything about themselves are an auto left swipe for me. If you can’t be bothered neither can I lol. Vice versa on that I’m spending 500 bucks on Botox and 700 bucks on fillers for each side of my face. That seems to be an expectation for some folks out there, especially because I’m a 30+ woman and I’m not doing it. I can’t afford that sort of routine maintenance. Even if I could I could use that money towards other things.

It’s the ghosting once you make matches, the bots, the gross first messages, people you have to pull teeth from to even hold a conversation with them, aggressive messages, being strung along, etc. Then once you find someone you want to meet in person it’s hoping you have a good enough first experience to warrant a second date. Which I’ve not had. Because oof. Red flags. Red flags everywhere 💀

Even then it’s just hard for me to connect with people. I’ve already told some of my other friends that I’m just gonna be y’all’s single witchy auntie. 

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4 hours ago, DubWolf said:

Maybe it’s not the romance, but the kind of companionship you actually seek that you could usually only get through a partner :ooh: . Usually…

Probably so!

4 hours ago, Clawdeen said:

The way I feel exactly the same. It’s easy to find somebody it’s hard to find somebody of quality tbh. It’s why I really hate how dating apps are the thing nowadays. Which let me not get on a big rant about it but. Nobody fills in an about me section these days. Even on Bumble. It’s very looks based and I can’t connect with other people based off of looks. You’re hot? Great and? How does this help me know if I’m going to be able to have a conversation with you or not. Or even want to tbh.💀 People who don’t write anything about themselves are an auto left swipe for me. If you can’t be bothered neither can I lol. Vice versa on that I’m spending 500 bucks on Botox and 700 bucks on fillers for each side of my face. That seems to be an expectation for some folks out there, especially because I’m a 30+ woman and I’m not doing it. I can’t afford that sort of routine maintenance. Even if I could I could use that money towards other things.

It’s the ghosting once you make matches, the bots, the gross first messages, people you have to pull teeth from to even hold a conversation with them, aggressive messages, being strung along, etc. Then once you find someone you want to meet in person it’s hoping you have a good enough first experience to warrant a second date. Which I’ve not had. Because oof. Red flags. Red flags everywhere 💀

Even then it’s just hard for me to connect with people. I’ve already told some of my other friends that I’m just gonna be y’all’s single witchy auntie. 

I would never ever use dating apps anyways :twilightoops: Online dating has destroyed my thoughts about dating enough already! It's so easy for people to hide things from you, cheat on you, etc. online because, how would you really know what they're up to? :baconmane: I know there's red flags with that stuff, too, but man did I give people too many chances back in the day! :twi-hiding: Don't be like me and have absolutely no standards other than "they say nice/loving things to you".

I'm sorry you've had a rough go at online dating, as well. :fluttershysad: I wish dating apps could figure out how to filter out all the scum already so the actual decent people can get together! It should also be required to fill out your "About Me" because it really isn't that hard to say a few words about yourself! 

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27 minutes ago, ExplosionMare said:

Probably so!

I would never ever use dating apps anyways :twilightoops: Online dating has destroyed my thoughts about dating enough already! It's so easy for people to hide things from you, cheat on you, etc. online because, how would you really know what they're up to? :baconmane: I know there's red flags with that stuff, too, but man did I give people too many chances back in the day! :twi-hiding: Don't be like me and have absolutely no standards other than "they say nice/loving things to you".

I'm sorry you've had a rough go at online dating, as well. :fluttershysad: I wish dating apps could figure out how to filter out all the scum already so the actual decent people can get together! It should also be required to fill out your "About Me" because it really isn't that hard to say a few words about yourself! 

Yes the hiding things and cheating aspect is biiiiig on all them apps. I’m not sure with online dating as far as the websites go as the ones in the past I tried years ago were dead in my area. I know some people like the nice/loving things with people they’re starting to date. I personally prefer someone who would keep it real with me. I got all this personality you can banter with and you just wanna tell me I’m cute? Nah. Not for me. I know plenty of people who like that sort of thing but not for me personally. Not a fan on compliments with my appearance in general really.

I’m sorry to hear you’ve had such a rough time with it as well. Don’t beat yourself up over it too much as like I said I’ve went on some dates with some people who were probably very clearly red flags that I missed. It happens and it sucks. 

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On 2025-08-30 at 8:44 AM, ExplosionMare said:

My stepdad just so happened to do what he needed to do avoid a divorce with my mom but, maybe selfishly, I didn't want that to happen. :maud: I'm tired of the way he treats us, especially my mom, and I'm even more tired that Mom keeps putting up with it! If this was my husband, I would've divorced him a loooong time ago! No, I wouldn't have even gotten to marriage!

 

On 2025-08-30 at 8:52 AM, Clawdeen said:

I’m sorry to hear you’re going through that. I feel the same way with my parents and my grandparents. I really don’t get this mentality of staying with someone who you pretty much hate and argue with 24/7. 

Reading through this conversation I'm sorry for you both. :adorkable:

With me it's my mom and stepfather and my sister and her husband. My mom is too stubborn to divorce and at their age and with my stepfather's health she's frankly just waiting it out. They seem to me like strangers living in the same house.

My sister, I'm sorry, is an idiot who takes after her father way too much. She married this guy. Now they have kids and she has no means of support. 

My grandparents honestly was the only idea I have of a good relationship.

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Getting real tired of these nasty bugs just crawling up randomly on the walls. I’m lucky I can sandwich these ones but anything bigger won’t be as easy and create an actual mess…

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9 hours ago, Fluttershutter said:

 

Reading through this conversation I'm sorry for you both. :adorkable:

With me it's my mom and stepfather and my sister and her husband. My mom is too stubborn to divorce and at their age and with my stepfather's health she's frankly just waiting it out. They seem to me like strangers living in the same house.

My sister, I'm sorry, is an idiot who takes after her father way too much. She married this guy. Now they have kids and she has no means of support. 

My grandparents honestly was the only idea I have of a good relationship.

I'm sorry you have to deal with that nonsense in your family :hug2: I hope you're able to break the cycle with your own partner or even no partner, if you want!

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Not only did I forget to drink at least one smart water today I also forgot to take my medication. Hence why my reflux is so bad. It's too late now.

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