Ask a Royal Guard

[Jadefire 2,797]

Greetings everypony. In accordance to executive order #2401GH-b "Like Stop Hating on the Military You Guys", I am here as spokespony of the Royal Guard to improve public perception of our esteemed organization by answering questions you all might have about us.

So go ahead and ask away! I'll be here all day.

 

 

(For future reference, the current guardponies are:

Aevum Shield: male, 28, pegasus, currently recovering from a head injury, indicated in goldenrod.

Dark Moonbeam: male, 27, batpegasus, indicated in indigo.

Silver Wave: male 29, unicorn, indicated in gray.)

Edited April 2, 2013 by Jadefire

[Ra1nbowCrasH 272]

Why do you guys all look the same (with exception of the night shift)?

[Plox 48]

How come you can never laif?

[Pencil J. Doodle 242]

Exactly what do you stand for? Protecting civilians? Protecting the princess? Cause Let me tell ya'. Civilization is the punchline to a joke you wouldn't get; so much selfishness and complaining without taking action. They're better off without protection, at least then they'd take life seriously. And the princess? Look at a few pages on the internet, you'll see what i'm getting at

[The Awesome One 1,315]

There is no crime in Equestria and besides the occasional villain which can only be stopped by some fancy power of love or something, you guys don't have much to do. So you what? March around all day?

[Jadefire 2,797]

Why do you guys all look the same (with exception of the night shift)?

 

A strict dress code, to differentiate between the different guards' functions. Those with white fur and blue manes are bodyguards for the princess and distinguished individuals, those with dark gray fur and silver manes are palace and city guards, and so forth.

 

As for why we dye our coats to begin with, well, we all as guards for the Princess are sworn absolute loyalty to her and her subjects above all else, and are fully expected to lay down our lives in defense for her if necessary. Our duty lies with Equestria above our own selves, and being allowed to show individualism undermines this philosophy.

 

Of course, we're allowed to wear our natural fur colors when off duty.

 

How come you can never laif?

 

I'm afraid I don't understand the question.

 

Exactly what do you stand for? Protecting civilians? Protecting the princess? Cause Let me tell ya'. Civilization is the punchline to a joke you wouldn't get; so much selfishness and complaining without taking action. They're better off without protection, at least then they'd take life seriously. And the princess? Look at a few pages on the internet, you'll see what i'm getting at

 

We stand for the defense and protection of our magesty Princess Celestia and her subjects. And Luna, too.

 

We serve Equestria's inhabitants loyally, no matter how whiny or deserving of a good slap they may be sometimes.

 

There is no crime in Equestria and besides the occasional villain which can only be stopped by some fancy power of love or something, you guys don't have much to do. So you what? March around all day?

 

We also stand at attention, announce the arrival of the princesses and distinguished individuals to social gatherings, and once had to organize an impromptu marching band on Celestia's orders (don't ask).

[Plox 48]

How come you can laugh

[WildCard 1,037]

How often do you work a week? Do you even have enough spare-time?

[PoisonClaw 8,164]

What's the pay like? You...do get paid? Right?

Edited May 20, 2012 by PoisonClaw

[Jadefire 2,797]

How come you can laugh

 

I assume you're referring to the incident when the royal pet Philomena was kidnapped in Ponyville? We try to maintain an air of professionalism at all times, but...well, have YOU ever been tickled by a Phoenix before? Philomena in particular has strong innate tickling powers.

 

Or so I'm told.

 

How often do you work a week? Do you even have enough spare-time?

 

It can vary wildly depending on one's rank and length of service, as well as where one is assigned. The palace guards have the most stable schedules, where anywhere from 30 to 70 hours are typical. The bodyguards' schudules are far more erratic, as it depends on what the princesses are currently doing. In either case it's shift-based, not a standard 9 to 5 deal.

 

Things get far more brutal in the case of emergancy, in which case we're expected to be on duty as long as equinely possible for the duration of the emergency.

 

 

What's the pay like? You...do get paid? Right?

 

Yes, we get paid. New recruits can expect to start out at roughly 20,000 bits a year, but will rise to a more ...reasonable level fairly quickly. I myself live on 65,000 bits per year.

 

Officers and commanders and the like are paid quite well, but I'm not privy to how much exactly is in our superiors' paychecks. ...conniving corrupt bastards...

 

As an employee of the government, we also receive extensive benefits, insurance and et cetera, and being a member of the Princesses guard gives certain ...other benefits.

Edited May 20, 2012 by Jadefire

[I used to be a stranger 7,993]

Are the Wonderbolts the only demonstration group within the military, or do you have similar operatives in other parts? Such as Magical Paraders, a Drum Corps, Honor Guard etc.

[Jadefire 2,797]

Are the Wonderbolts the only demonstration group within the military, or do you have similar operatives in other parts? Such as Magical Paraders, a Drum Corps, Honor Guard etc.

 

The other branches of the military also have the Honor Parade and the Firebrands, and out in Pransylvania there's the Court Jousters (though technically they're a civilian group, though many of them do have military training). Though the Wonderbolts are the most famous and distinguished among them around these parts.

 

The Royal Guard specifically doesn't have a public performance group, though the Princess may soon be planning on establishing the Royal Mariachi Band.

[Prince Midnight 817]

are there earth pony guards, beacuse ive only ever seen pegasai and unicorns

[Jadefire 2,797]

are there earth pony guards, beacuse ive only ever seen pegasai and unicorns

 

 

They're rare, but they exist.

 

However, as racially insensitive as this may sound, pegasai are the most mobile race and unicorns are capable of magic, which are both incredibly useful traits for Royal Guarding, so we don't receive a lot of earth ponies singing up, let alone getting recruited. We do have a lot of earth ponies in the regular army, however. Their inordinate strength is quite useful on the front lines.

Edited May 23, 2012 by Jadefire

[caesar15 231]

The regular army? How come we never seen them?

[Jadefire 2,797]

So, our poor little diurnal spokespony is now asleep, so I vill take over this Q&A for now. BEWARE! Ah hah ha...uhh...*ahem* Anyway...

 

The regular army? How come we never seen them?

 

Because they are WEAK-I uh, mean, as our glorious nation is currently not at war with anypony, our army is currently not deployed anywhere where there are cameras. And since our great Princess in her ...infinite wisdom does not want to initiate a military takeover of our major cities at our Mother Pransylvania's urging, most ponies can go most of their lives without seeing the might that is our military.

[AnonyPoni 564]

So is there only the Royal guard? Are there other branches of the Military?

 

On this other thread, we've been talking about the Pony military and was wondering if there is a Navy and how it works.

 

 

BTW, I think Earth Ponies are being treated unfairly, They are physically stronger than the other kinds, and they would be good for vehicle (if you have any) and holding ground, the 2nd most important part of battle (first being contol of the sky, so you can take the ground without as many problems).

 

I have more Ideas, just spinning them off

 

 

 

 

BTW we are trying to get these guys declared a new pony species

 

MALUMA (malumai pl)

Edited May 23, 2012 by Anony-Brony

[Jadefire 2,797]

So is there only the Royal guard? Are there other branches of the Military?

 

BTW, I think Earth Ponies are being treated unfairly, They are physically stronger than the other kinds, and they would be good for vehicle (if you have any) and holding ground, the 2nd most important part of battle (first being contol of the sky, so you can take the ground without as many problems).

 

 

Yes. We have the Royal Guard, the Royal Army, the Royal Navy, and the United Air Force. Though the navy is more of a glorified coast guard if you ask me.

 

And yes, I agree the earth ponies are treated unfairly in our society. While our guard is made up of mostly unicorns and us pegasai, earth ponies however make excellent soldiers in our army. For all the unicorns' flashing lights and fancy tricks, sometimes all you need in a battle is a strong and dedicated group of cannon fodder. Uh, I mean heavy hitters.

 

Of course, nothing compares to the martial prowess of us sons and daughters of Pegasopolis, but I'm just giving the earth ponies their due.

[Staticthor Draconus 958]

a military official, finaly i can see how this works........what are your views of other worlders

[AnonyPoni 564]

Yes. We have the Royal Guard, the Royal Army, the Royal Navy, and the United Air Force. Though the navy is more of a glorified coast guard if you ask me.

 

And yes, I agree the earth ponies are treated unfairly in our society. While our guard is made up of mostly unicorns and us pegasai, earth ponies however make excellent soldiers in our army. For all the unicorns' flashing lights and fancy tricks, sometimes all you need in a battle is a strong and dedicated group of cannon fodder. Uh, I mean heavy hitters.

 

Of course, nothing compares to the martial prowess of us sons and daughters of Pegasopolis, but I'm just giving the earth ponies their due.

 

 

Dumb question, why the United Air Force and not Royal?

[WildCard 1,037]

What's your real name and how do you Nighguards get your batwings? Edited May 23, 2012 by Wildcard

[Jadefire 2,797]

a military official, finaly i can see how this works........what are your views of other worlders

 

My views? My views is that all the filthy otherworlders who think they're better than us and are too high and mighty to follow our laws and customs CAN ALL JUST GO AHEAD AND SUCK MY-

 

*ahem*

 

Oh, Aevum, you're back already.

 

So I am. And what was that you were about to say to everypony?

 

Uh, that 'any and all interdimensional travelers are welcome to our realm as long as they agree to obey our laws and not to offend our customs'.

 

That's what I thought. It'd do you good to remember your place here.

 

*blows raspberry*

 

Dumb question, why the United Air Force and not Royal?

 

It's a long story, actually, but I'll give you the short version. The United Air Force was the first military branch to be completely integrated by all three races, back when racial tensions were at a boiling point. Prior to that, the Pegasai completely dominated the air force, but after integration laws were passed, they reorganized; they began enlisting earth ponies as paratroopers using enchantments provided by unicorn operatives, and so on. After the air force was integrated, the Army and then the Guard soon followed.

 

The whole thing was a major victory for the Love and Tolerance movement at the time, and in acknowledgement of their contributions, the air force became known as the United Air Force ever since.

 

And it's also 'cause the damn Humans copyrighted "Royal Air Force" first.

 

*facehoof*

 

I'm right, aren't I?

 

...Yes, yes you are. Interdimensional diplomatic incidents is something the Princess tries to avoid.

 

What's your real name and how do you Nighguards get your batwings?

 

*smirks* Heh. Dark Moonbeam, at your service. All of us are proud children of the night *chestthump* and it's an honor for us to serve our Princess again!

 

In other words, he's Pransylvanian, and apparently they're all like that.

 

...ignoring my racially-insensitive friend here, yeah. I was born with 'em. Most of the pegasai where I'm from have bat wings.

[Staticthor Draconus 958]

My views? My views is that all the filthy otherworlders who think they're better than us and are too high and mighty to follow our laws and customs CAN ALL JUST GO AHEAD AND SUCK MY-

 

*ahem*

 

Oh, Aevum, you're back already.

 

So I am. And what was that you were about to say to everypony?

 

Uh, that 'any and all interdimensional travelers are welcome to our realm as long as they agree to obey our laws and not to offend our customs'.

 

That's what I thought. It'd do you good to remember your place here.

 

*blows raspberry*

 

 

 

 

 

yeah, that's what i thought, i wouldn't want to have to embarrass the equestrian military.

[AnonyPoni 564]

 

...ignoring my racially-insensitive friend here, yeah. I was born with 'em. Most of the pegasai where I'm from have bat wings.

 

In another thread, we have been debating on the pegasi with bat wings. We thought you were a different species and I made the name Maluma for you guys. Do you guys consider yourselves Pegasi?

[WildCard 1,037]

 

*smirks* Heh. Dark Moonbeam, at your service. All of us are proud children of the night *chestthump* and it's an honor for us to serve our Princess again!

 

In other words, he's Pransylvanian, and apparently they're all like that.

 

...ignoring my racially-insensitive friend here, yeah. I was born with 'em. Most of the pegasai where I'm from have bat wings.

 

Ok, Moonbeam. I must admit those wings look pretty neat. I think I'll have to travel to Pransylvania soon

What are you doing at night, when you don't serve Luna? It must be pretty lonely to be awake when most of the other ponies are asleep