Friend starts talking to you again only after something bad happens, what do you do?

[Miss 6,229]

So this question is going to have a lot of "depends on" context? 

But some ideas are:

Your friend started dating someone so they neglected you and now that they broke up months later they start talking to you again

Your friend finds new friends to hangout with etc. they end up not being friends with them anymore

They stopped talking to you for some reason (boredom, lack of interest, etc.) But something tragic happens to them and now they are at your feet

I think yall get the gist. 

What would you all do? Do you start talking with your and pretend like nothing happened? Do you give it some time before bringing up their absence? Do you let them know right away? Do you ignore them? Thoughts that the same will happen again? Thoughts that you're being used? Etc 

Implication is that your friend stops talking to you for weeks or months or maybe even longer etc. Long enough time that makes you feel like "I thought we were friends"

Edited March 23, 2022 by Miss

[They call me Loyalty 1,948]

I would simply talk to them. After all, that is what friends are for. But we do not require the constant attention of each other. I neglect my friends all the time. But they understand me. So, it is unlikely for them to hold a grudge over something so petty, the same way I wouldn't hold it against them. We have our own problems.

[Evil Pink One 13,506]

I would give them awkward atmosphere and awkward moments. Them always works like a charm. 

" Heeeyyy....?" Then give them that 

( who are you again) look.

Boom. Everything goes down hill... You started it and I'm bringing us down to cringe ville...

[Wingnut 6,991]

That’s a good question.  It almost never happens in my case.  There are a few friends who’ve fallen away that I’d eagerly welcome back if they reentered my life though I’m sure it wouldn’t be the same.  On the other hand, there’s others that I probably wouldn’t be interested in talking to anymore.  You also added the complicating factor of this occurring only if something bad happens to them.  I won’t lie.  In this instance I would ask myself if I was simply being used.  

[daviddaviddavid 776]

Most of my friendships are very low maintenance, and I have gone weeks and in some cases months without even exchanging one message with them. I don't know how they feel about that, but I'm okay with it - people have rich, varied lives filled with many different things so I don't hold it against them and I wouldn't want them to hold it against me. However, I'd like to think that if they were upset they could tell me how they feel without fear of judgement...

[TBD 17,254]

You mean when they come back after ghosting me? I would just be cool about it and say "hey long time no see".  I won't expect them to stick around with me longer anyway since most of my friends always comes and go since I understand we all got our own path to go to. I won't take it personal if they all the sudden stop talking to me.

[Dreambiscuit 9,691]

If I felt I was just being used I’d be civil but not effusive about it. I wouldn’t like being treated like a handy shoulder to lean on only when it’s convenient. If someone treats me like a true friend I’d reciprocate. Normally I wouldn’t have to get something to give something in return, but if it was a blatant matter of being used it wouldn’t do any good to encourage that kind of behavior. If someone was in real need I’d be there for them even if I was treated like an old dish rag, if they really realized where they went wrong and genuinely wanted to be friends again.

[Clawdeen 14,139]

My friend does that. When things were great I’d barely hear from her. But when things are bad she’s always calling me. Which I don’t necessarily hate that now given the issues going on at my job. I’m happy to have a voice to talk to.Prior to this situation it did bother me. Just because like….. can you not talk to me when things are good? Why can’t we ever talk when things are well. 

[ZiggWheelsManning 10,297]

I would say how surprised I am they're reconnecting with me and learn what can be helped with a particular situation.