How to talk to women?

[Jay6 29]

It's too bad I'm not really looking for a GF at the moment. I'm happy being single... and yet the advice in this topic is pretty good too. However, I don't mind finding friends. Lady friends are good to have.

[StarGazer 129]

It's too bad I'm not really looking for a GF at the moment. I'm happy being single... and yet the advice in this topic is pretty good too. However, I don't mind finding friends. Lady friends are good to have.

 

We're worth more than gold!! We're mithril and plantinium mixed together!!

[Viscra Maelstrom 3,718]

since this seems to be about self-confidence and such, i'd like some advice to this, please.

[Jay6 29]

I had a GF for a whole 5 days. It was worth it for what it was, but she broke up with me (and no, we didn't do it). I wasn't angry or sad; I just respected her decision (and stayed on her good side). Besides, I had school to focus on at the time. I can kinda see why the relationship didn't really go anywhere. There was a girl I also liked in school too, but she had a BF. I probably wont get a GF until I at least get a job in my career. That seems to be the only time it seems worth it; when I've finally settled down with something. I'm soon turning 22, and I still think it's too early in life.

 

Basically this topic, to me, is helpful in terms of meeting people, and making friends irl. It's great if there's a common interest, then there's something to talk about.

[Josh 108]

Confidence seems to be the key issue here, which I have completely none of.

 

*forever alone*

[Lunatic 1,186]

"I really like your... hair?"

 

Just thought it'd be relevant.

 

i see what you did there

[83awsm 234]

i see what you did there

 

Yeap. Dictionary ftw everytime xD

[SrFrog 927]

“The greatest barrier to success is the fear of failure.” Sven Goran Eriksson

 

This quote really helped me to keep it in perspective.

[Arylett Charnoa 4,919]

since this seems to be about self-confidence and such, i'd like some advice to this, please.

 

My therapist says that the key to confidence is to love yourself. And uh... hang on... lemme find what he put here. The three ways to love yourself and confidence-boosters:

 

Display - To become more confident is about how you display yourself. Take care of your body by making sure you're cleaned up and looking good. If you look good, you'll feel good.

 

Acceptance - Accept yourself for who you are. This is harder than it sounds, so it'll take a bit of work. I can't really give any specific tips on this. It depends on what you lack confidence about, and what about yourself you won't accept how much trouble you'll have doing so. It's very specific to the person.

 

Patience - Be patient with yourself. If you make a few mistakes, this is fine. You're a human being like anybody else. Just get back up and move on.

 

Lack of confidence stems from insecurity, which stems from fear. Fear is an emotion. Emotions are controlled by thoughts. To become more confident, control your thoughts. Only you can control what you think, you have the most power here and the ability to change. When a negative or insecure thought pops up about yourself, try to replace it with a more positive thought. Try to think better of yourself and have faith in you. Because chances are, you can do it. You've got the confidence in there, you've just got to pull it out!

 

...Sorry for the shrink talk, ah. I use his method though and it is slowly working for me over time. It is a very long process to becoming confident when you're not. So I wish those of you who lack it, like me, good luck. And sorry if this isn't helpful at a- no! I'm being a hypocrite, that's me being unconfident. I hope it does help. If you're confident, it will show. And women will definitely notice.

Edited January 26, 2012 by Arylett Dawnsborough

[Arashi Takamine 123]

My only advice is, be honest, be polite, be confident...And pay attention to her face not her bust...For the love of Celestia please.

[Viscra Maelstrom 3,718]

My therapist says that the key to confidence is to love yourself. And uh... hang on... lemme find what he put here. The three ways to love yourself and confidence-boosters:

 

Display - To become more confident is about how you display yourself. Take care of your body by making sure you're cleaned up and looking good. If you look good, you'll feel good.

 

Acceptance - Accept yourself for who you are. This is harder than it sounds, so it'll take a bit of work. I can't really give any specific tips on this. It depends on what you lack confidence about, and what about yourself you won't accept how much trouble you'll have doing so. It's very specific to the person.

 

Patience - Be patient with yourself. If you make a few mistakes, this is fine. You're a human being like anybody else. Just get back up and move on.

 

Lack of confidence stems from insecurity, which stems from fear. Fear is an emotion. Emotions are controlled by thoughts. To become more confident, control your thoughts. Only you can control what you think, you have the most power here and the ability to change. When a negative or insecure thought pops up about yourself, try to replace it with a more positive thought. Try to think better of yourself and have faith in you. Because chances are, you can do it. You've got the confidence in there, you've just got to pull it out!

well, the first isn't that big a problem, but i have to admit, i do miss out on washing my hair regularly... something that bothers me. i should stop being so lazy and wash it.

 

acceptance is what i'm stuck in, pretty much. i know i should accept myself for who i am, but i am scared of opening up too much. i don't want to take any place, so i stick to myself and don't bother too much. this is what i have to get rid off, trying to blend into a non-existant archetype while i am in actuality as far away from it as possible.

 

patience i have tons of, but at times i can be self-loathing about what i do, and start hating on myself. i blame myself for things i shouldn't be blaming myself about.

 

and yes, insecurity is my biggest problem. i let it take over me, and fear what others are thinking of what i do. there are a number of things i find it hard to do, things i try to avoid out of fear. to stop it, i should not be thinking in the negative, which i have been doing for oh so long, and actually do those things, right? that would gradually be breaking my shell of anxiety, correct?

 

in other words, i need to start taking control over my life. it is MY life, and hiding away from my problems won't help at all.

[Sheogorath 1,155]

well, the first isn't that big a problem, but i have to admit, i do miss out on washing my hair regularly... something that bothers me. i should stop being so lazy and wash it.

 

Do like I do and shave it all off, then you can just rub the bar of soap on your head and move down from there XD

[Viscra Maelstrom 3,718]

Do like I do and shave it all off, then you can just rub the bar of soap on your head and move down from there XD

 

cutting off my HAIR?!!

 

never in a million years

i'm too swag to be bald! *swirls around my hair in slow-mo*

[Tom 891]

Do like I do and shave it all off, then you can just rub the bar of soap on your head and move down from there XD

 

That sounds like a plan.

 

But I'm way ahead of you, I've already started balding.

Edited January 26, 2012 by Tom

[Demi 545]

Just imagine yourself in your underwear.

 

Oh, wait a minute..

[Arashi Takamine 123]

That sounds like a plan. But I'm way ahead of you, I've already started balding.

Pfft already way ahead of you. Been bald since four! *Alopecia FTW*

[Josh 108]

My therapist says that the key to confidence is to love yourself. And uh... hang on... lemme find what he put here. The three ways to love yourself and confidence-boosters:

 

Display - To become more confident is about how you display yourself. Take care of your body by making sure you're cleaned up and looking good. If you look good, you'll feel good.

 

Acceptance - Accept yourself for who you are. This is harder than it sounds, so it'll take a bit of work. I can't really give any specific tips on this. It depends on what you lack confidence about, and what about yourself you won't accept how much trouble you'll have doing so. It's very specific to the person.

 

Patience - Be patient with yourself. If you make a few mistakes, this is fine. You're a human being like anybody else. Just get back up and move on.

 

Lack of confidence stems from insecurity, which stems from fear. Fear is an emotion. Emotions are controlled by thoughts. To become more confident, control your thoughts. Only you can control what you think, you have the most power here and the ability to change. When a negative or insecure thought pops up about yourself, try to replace it with a more positive thought. Try to think better of yourself and have faith in you. Because chances are, you can do it. You've got the confidence in there, you've just got to pull it out!

 

...Sorry for the shrink talk, ah. I use his method though and it is slowly working for me over time. It is a very long process to becoming confident when you're not. So I wish those of you who lack it, like me, good luck. And sorry if this isn't helpful at a- no! I'm being a hypocrite, that's me being unconfident. I hope it does help. If you're confident, it will show. And women will definitely notice.

 

Thanks for this. I'm definitely gonna try building up my confidence. The only problem is that when I actually begin to feel better about myself, I'll just have a bad day where everything goes wrong and it just kills all my confidence.

[Anachronous 682]

I'm probably just repeating something that someone else said but the best advice I can give that isn't too long or too descriptive is that you should take talking to girls in stride; it's not so big a deal that you should need to feel uncomfortable about it. Just be natural and realize that it's not as big a deal as you might think and you'll be fine!

[WildCard 1,037]

My therapist says that the key to confidence is to love yourself. And uh... hang on... lemme find what he put here. The three ways to love yourself and confidence-boosters:

 

Display - To become more confident is about how you display yourself. Take care of your body by making sure you're cleaned up and looking good. If you look good, you'll feel good.

 

I agree with you on all these points but it's the first one I find the hardest. Iam kind of a Rarity when it comes to looks even tough Iam a boy(long ago I didn't care at all) but...I have absolutely no idea what fits me. I had days I felt absolutely fabulous and people(i like) say I look eh and days when it's exactly the same. Also I style my haircut almost every month different(also dyed it a lot) and when some people like my new looks, it seem to complete irritate people who liked my older one. And I really can't decide what looks best because I don't know what other people(especially girls) are thinking about it. And this is sometimes really nagging on my mind >.< Edited January 26, 2012 by PonyPunk

[Arylett Charnoa 4,919]

well, the first isn't that big a problem, but i have to admit, i do miss out on washing my hair regularly... something that bothers me. i should stop being so lazy and wash it.

 

acceptance is what i'm stuck in, pretty much. i know i should accept myself for who i am, but i am scared of opening up too much. i don't want to take any place, so i stick to myself and don't bother too much. this is what i have to get rid off, trying to blend into a non-existant archetype while i am in actuality as far away from it as possible.

 

patience i have tons of, but at times i can be self-loathing about what i do, and start hating on myself. i blame myself for things i shouldn't be blaming myself about.

 

and yes, insecurity is my biggest problem. i let it take over me, and fear what others are thinking of what i do. there are a number of things i find it hard to do, things i try to avoid out of fear. to stop it, i should not be thinking in the negative, which i have been doing for oh so long, and actually do those things, right? that would gradually be breaking my shell of anxiety, correct?

 

in other words, i need to start taking control over my life. it is MY life, and hiding away from my problems won't help at all.

 

I understand what you're saying about opening up. I'm scared too and I also do the same things with just keeping to myself.

 

For your last parts though, yep, that's basically it. You've got the right idea. I wish you a lot of luck in that. If you need any help though with that, I'm more than happy to talk anytime.

 

 

I agree with you on all these points but it's the first one I find the hardest. Iam kind of a Rarity when it comes to looks even tough Iam a boy(long ago I didn't care at all) but...I have absolutely no idea what fits me. I had days I felt absolutely fabulous and people(i like) say I look eh and days when it's exactly the same. Also I style my haircut almost every month different(also dyed it a lot) and when some people like my new looks, it seem to complete irritate people who liked my older one. And I really can't decide what looks best because I don't know what other people(especially girls) are thinking about it. And this is sometimes really nagging on my mind >.<

 

It's not about what other people think. It's about finding the look that YOU like. Like I said... my boyfriend got me by being himself. So you just have to search and find a look that is only right for you. Then the appropriate girl will come along, and like you for who you are, making your chances of getting a good match a lot higher.

[1Fluttershy 411]

You make words come out of your mouth.

[WildCard 1,037]

It's not about what other people think. It's about finding the look that YOU like. Like I said... my boyfriend got me by being himself. So you just have to search and find a look that is only right for you. Then the appropriate girl will come along, and like you for who you are, making your chances of getting a good match a lot higher.

 

I know, but I like my hair in many ways often I can't even decide how I should make it and when everybody says something different(and some people aren't honest) it doesn't make it easier. I myself have no clue what makes me myself(when it comes to appearance) and I may be slightly obsessive with it since people poked fun at me in the lower grades of highschool for not caring about appearance at all

[Guest]

You talk to girls just like you would talk to anyone else..

 

Just be nice, gentle, respectful and make her laugh - that's worked for me, at least.

Edited April 7, 2015 by Guest

[Bizarre Wizard 5,005]

Never try talk to girls. Dis is very dangerous, cus can lead to relationships.

Trust me, I'm changeling guy from da Internet.

[chirox the pony 1,336]

There's no one specific way to talk to a female, I'm sick and tired of this sexist assertion that you have to talk to either genders a specific way and about specific things. Truth of the matter is that all females and males are individuals and it would all depend on each individuals social standards, so here's my advice to anyone reading, act like yourself and see what happens, if they don't like you then try make friends with someone who might like you for who you are as a person.