Fluttermena 1,223 November 21, 2013 Share November 21, 2013 I just heard a great one in an Amazing Atheist video: "Have you heard about the cows who smoke marijuana and play poker? The steaks are pretty high." 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Courageous Thunder Dash 7,824 November 21, 2013 Share November 21, 2013 Two of my OCs in a roleplaying situation: Thunder Dash was eating breakfast one morning when his cousin Storm Rush zipped right past him heading out the door without saying a word. "Yo Storm! What's the Rush?" Thunder Dash asked. 1 Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeWg-TtBRMfqketa1ELyKGg Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/menelik-david-kenneth-cannady 2nd SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/thunder-dash-alternative/tracks Pony.fm: https://pony.fm/thunder-dash Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feather Spiral 1,892 November 22, 2013 Share November 22, 2013 Wait, why am I explaining the joke to you? That ruins it!Normally yes, but not everyone is from Masachussetts, ya know. Sorry for being mean, but the average person wouldn't understand that joke. Really, it's as simple a stat. 1 I take writing commissions. "Nerds build the world, artists decorate it, warriors protect it, leaders talk everyone into doing their jobs." -me, 3 Nov 2017 "That's not a pie, that's a pastry with an identity crisis!" ~Jeric Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feather Spiral 1,892 November 26, 2013 Share November 26, 2013 (edited) Not sorry for double post when it's for quality content. Twi might Sparkle if she uses some magic. Fruit flies aren't antisemitic, in fact they love fruit juice. Bonus round for French speakers: Satan a amélioré son arsenal pour aider les tueurs, mais il a besoin démunission. Avoir à s'occuper du chat de la voisine, c'est chiant. Que les toilettes soient bouchées, c'est chiant aussi. Il est défendu de cueillir des pêches, sous peine d'amande. Ma petite amie m'a allumé, je n'y ai vu que du feu. Should I also post Turkish puns or? Bonus bonus round round When captain Picard asked to command the Enterprise, everyone knew he wanted the D. People in wheelchairs can be excellent spokespersons. Bonus² round² Please wait your turn to enter the bathroom stall, a toilet can only handle one asshole at a time. "Nothing's right I'm @@Thorn" Edited November 28, 2013 by Feather Spiral 1 I take writing commissions. "Nerds build the world, artists decorate it, warriors protect it, leaders talk everyone into doing their jobs." -me, 3 Nov 2017 "That's not a pie, that's a pastry with an identity crisis!" ~Jeric Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarligPegasi 315 November 30, 2013 Share November 30, 2013 (edited) A lawyer is defending a client in court over a doctor's malpractice on her eyes. Instead of fixing her heterochromia he caused her to go blind. The lawyer gives all of his proof and says triumphantly "Iris my case." What do vegetables learn for self defense? Carrotte Edited November 30, 2013 by DarligPegasi Signature by @@Champion RD92, Examples of my Art Work Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frith is Magick 1,471 November 30, 2013 Share November 30, 2013 I've been pining to spruce up my profile fir ages. It wood be best not to leaf it until my interest branch out to far. Sadly, writing about myself goes against the grain, especially if it is sappy, but I would have to be barking mad to write anything like that. It seems like a complete pain in the ash, and Fluttershy says it's time forest. 1 Keep flyin' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feather Spiral 1,892 December 2, 2013 Share December 2, 2013 When I was in London, I fancied an Asian restaurant in Wokingham I need to taco bout. They were woking so hard to serve us in there, I just couldn't wrap my head around it. I married a chick who's really into money games. She's my lass Vegas. I take writing commissions. "Nerds build the world, artists decorate it, warriors protect it, leaders talk everyone into doing their jobs." -me, 3 Nov 2017 "That's not a pie, that's a pastry with an identity crisis!" ~Jeric Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moaning Myrtle 196 December 3, 2013 Share December 3, 2013 Do Lipton Tea workers take coffee breaks? A blonde,A brunette,and a redhead went to a magic mirror.If they told they truth they get a wish.If they don't thet dissapear. The redhead walked up "I think i'm the smartest girl in the world" Poof! The brunette walked up "I think i'm the prettiest girl in the world" Poof! The blond walked up "I think..." Poof! (Sorry if offensive,I'm a blonde myself.Sorry AJ ) 1 Made by Me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trickiert 150 December 3, 2013 Share December 3, 2013 You can’t have vision without two i’s. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ovr9000percentcooler 107 December 3, 2013 Share December 3, 2013 PMS jokes aren't funny, period. Sig by Champion RD92 Like mashups? Like ponies? Then by all means, subscribe! http://m.youtube.com/#/user/IAmMelloYellow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frith is Magick 1,471 December 5, 2013 Share December 5, 2013 A man went to a doctor because he is constipated. The doctor runs some tests and tells the man that his bowels don't seem to be working properly, to which the man replied "no shit". A man was in a car crash and found to be at fault. He tried to sue the other driver for crippling him, but the judge decided that he didn't have a leg to stand on. 1 Keep flyin' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lomk 20,663 December 6, 2013 Share December 6, 2013 (edited) My brother said this the other day If you're attacked by clowns, go for the juggler Get it? Juggler? Jugular? Yeah I know it's terrible Edited December 6, 2013 by ~Sadistic Luna~ 1 I refuse to let go until you're impressed. I refuse to let go until I'm depressed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frith is Magick 1,471 December 10, 2013 Share December 10, 2013 Ponies liking artillery is cannon. Why has nobody created a shipping with a boat? Keep flyin' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
long gone 8,929 December 10, 2013 Share December 10, 2013 EVGA released a PC case called the Hadron Air. So, if something were to hit it, then that would make it a... Hadron Collider. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feather Spiral 1,892 December 10, 2013 Share December 10, 2013 (edited) Two youngsters looking for romance caught sight of each other across a pit. They fell in love. No I'm no alright, I'm half left. It's raining cats and dogs, don't step in a poodle! ...okay, here's some war rations food for fought. As a Northeast-European cannibal, I've been eating swedes all my life, I need to take a leek. No ale? Aw, that feels so bitter. Don't hit the backs of people with tenderloins! I didna ask for chicken meat, laddy, there must be me steak. Jellied eels can make other snakelike fish jealous. Fish do love FPS games, especially cod. One time for breakfast, I just mixed flour with eggs and milk in a frying pan because I'm a crepe. Also, I once melted some cheese on a slice of bread and succeeded, it really was a rarebit of fine cuisine. You might eat drugged cobblers if you wanna feel stoned. NSFW (I swear I didn't even know there was a pudding named like this until now) Ponies like me may like spotted dick for dessert. Edited December 10, 2013 by Feather Spiral I take writing commissions. "Nerds build the world, artists decorate it, warriors protect it, leaders talk everyone into doing their jobs." -me, 3 Nov 2017 "That's not a pie, that's a pastry with an identity crisis!" ~Jeric Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
long gone 8,929 December 10, 2013 Share December 10, 2013 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunlight 357 December 11, 2013 Share December 11, 2013 2 When I see your face, it's like sunlight dripping... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SanityNotIncluded 335 December 13, 2013 Share December 13, 2013 (edited) Finally got to say this Q: Why don't people like clopfics? A: Because there are too many plot holes! Now to examine Uranus -Uranus as a (w)hole needs to be wiped out -Uranus has a ring -Uranus is surrounded by methane -Uranus is a gas giant -I use a telescope to spy on Uranus - Hey Princess Luna, what's big round and blue? Uranus! -Uranus is over 55 million miles wide -People have always looked up to Uranus -As an astronaut, I wish to someday explore Uranus -Uranus is the butt of bad puns Here's another one. Spoilers for people's innocence. Where I live, we have a brand of bread called 'Mias', which we pronounce as 'My arse'. So... -Every morning, I put Mias in the toaster -Then I cover Mias in butter and jam -I make sandwiches with Mias -And for the worst... One day I got a dirty batch of bread, and I found hair in Mias. Gosh, that had an odd focus on butts didn't it? However, I'm sure many will find cracks in my reasoning. Edited December 13, 2013 by SanityNotIncluded 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
long gone 8,929 December 13, 2013 Share December 13, 2013 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frith is Magick 1,471 December 13, 2013 Share December 13, 2013 (edited) Doughnut mess with a Scotsman's pastry. Did you hear about the Scottish comedian? He kilt the audience. Spoilered for semi-inappropriate content. How did the Scotsman feel when he was caught with his lover? Sheepish. Did you hear about the Scotsman accused of bestiality? He's on the lamb. Why are sheep hard to fool? You can't pull the wool over their eyes. Did you hear about that new plant-based fabric? It really cotton. Edited December 13, 2013 by Frith is Magik Keep flyin' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
long gone 8,929 December 15, 2013 Share December 15, 2013 I've worked really hard on it, but I've thought of my New Year's resolution. 1920x1080. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frith is Magick 1,471 December 18, 2013 Share December 18, 2013 What do you say to calm down a nervous guitarist? Don't you fret. A fight broke out at a concert hall. Don't these people know that violins won't solve anything? 1 Keep flyin' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PixelSketch 11 December 18, 2013 Share December 18, 2013 What did the cop atom say to the criminal atom when he got out of prison Ive got my ION you get it ion as in atoms fAiL 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lomk 20,663 December 20, 2013 Share December 20, 2013 You shouldn't trust atoms. They only make up everything. 2 I refuse to let go until you're impressed. I refuse to let go until I'm depressed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tigerpop198 696 December 21, 2013 Share December 21, 2013 How did Moses make his tea.Hebrew'd it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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