Victoria and Co. 782 February 28, 2012 Share February 28, 2012 Person 1: This is uncanny! Person 2: I know! Why is that door ajar? This is something I do? This is something I do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arkane 270 February 28, 2012 Share February 28, 2012 No one has posted this? really? When danger makes me want to hide, you'll RAINBOW DASH to my side. Your Kindness is never in short supply once smitten twice like FLUTTERSHY. You are the APPLEJACK of my eyes. Your heart shines so beautiful. You're a RARITY to come by. You make all things fun as easy as PINKIE PIE. I just took them from here: 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrMeep 264 February 28, 2012 Share February 28, 2012 I find Scootaloo sexually attractive. Pedofillya. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeverNeverland 1,940 February 28, 2012 Author Share February 28, 2012 Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inactive01 5,299 February 28, 2012 Share February 28, 2012 A friend told me this one today: Q: A car has a license plate TAN 270. What type of car is it? A: An Infiniti Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CutieMarkCreater 0 February 28, 2012 Share February 28, 2012 I could come up with one, but I'm sure it wouldn't be punny. Also, if someone else used a pun like this I didnt mean to steal it. This describes me well ---> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akemi Homura 7,680 February 28, 2012 Share February 28, 2012 God asked Derrick to rise. So, Derrick ROSE. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tenor Clef 112 February 29, 2012 Share February 29, 2012 9/11 jokes aren't funny. They're just plane wrong. I agree with this. Anne frankely, so are holocaust jokes. This is my signature. UDig? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akemi Homura 7,680 March 3, 2012 Share March 3, 2012 Hey guys, Tom rocks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aureity 3,055 March 3, 2012 Share March 3, 2012 He crashed his expensive car into the tree, and found out how the Mercedes bends. 1 A lil' Catherine <(^.^)> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jadefire 2,797 March 3, 2012 Share March 3, 2012 (edited) Gay jokes aren't funny, cum on guys! *badum tish* Edited March 3, 2012 by Jadefire 7 Ponysona bio, here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lillia 69 March 3, 2012 Share March 3, 2012 (edited) Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a... WAIT FOR IT... super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis! A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal." These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too. Edited March 3, 2012 by Van der Hoof 5 The Most Misunderstood Mare... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fizz. 1,078 March 4, 2012 Share March 4, 2012 snip This....may be the best thing I've ever read. http://alt="img-3411728-1-kQpW0ME.png"> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lillia 69 March 4, 2012 Share March 4, 2012 This....may be the best thing I've ever read. Glad to be of service. The Most Misunderstood Mare... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feather Spiral 1,892 March 5, 2012 Share March 5, 2012 I only got the second ("if you've seen one, you've seen them all") and third (Smokey the Bear commercial, if I recall correctly). Could somepony explain (or post links about) the other two references? ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo? WITNESS: We both do. ATTORNEY: You do? WITNESS: Yes, voodoo. I take writing commissions. "Nerds build the world, artists decorate it, warriors protect it, leaders talk everyone into doing their jobs." -me, 3 Nov 2017 "That's not a pie, that's a pastry with an identity crisis!" ~Jeric Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lillia 69 March 5, 2012 Share March 5, 2012 (edited) I only got the second ("if you've seen one, you've seen them all") and third (Smokey the Bear commercial, if I recall correctly). Could somepony explain (or post links about) the other two references? 1: "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" (from Mary Poppins) 4: "You can't have your cake and eat it too" Edited March 5, 2012 by Van der Hoof The Most Misunderstood Mare... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunny Fox 5,950 March 5, 2012 Share March 5, 2012 (edited) A Zen Master walks up to a hot-dog seller, and says: "Make me one with everything." Do you know the follow on to this?The Zen Master pays for his hotdog, and waits for his change. The hotdog vendor doesn't give it to him. The Zen Master says, "What about my change?" The vendor replies, "Change comes from within." Courtesy of the Impossible Quiz: Q. Can a match box? A. No, but a tin can! This one actually is an original, happened in a chat room once: Some guy: Damn, I just dropped yogurt on my keyboard. Me: Oh, dairy, dairy me. Also, this: Q. Why are there no aspirins in the jungle? A. Because the paracetamol. Edited March 5, 2012 by SolarPony 3 Happy minion of The Fabulous One! Signature by Midnightive Check out my blog! https://mlpforums.com/blog/1083-sunny-side-den/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feather Spiral 1,892 March 5, 2012 Share March 5, 2012 Okay, thanks for clearing those two up for me. The favorite snack of a cheerful rapper is a LOL-hip-hop. I once slept with two guys, even though I hated them both. I jumped out of the crying man into the liar. Issun: Hey! He drew a sword! Waka: Oui! This is how I get my point across, pun intended... -dialogue from Okami I take writing commissions. "Nerds build the world, artists decorate it, warriors protect it, leaders talk everyone into doing their jobs." -me, 3 Nov 2017 "That's not a pie, that's a pastry with an identity crisis!" ~Jeric Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nah 3,182 March 5, 2012 Share March 5, 2012 Hitting your humorous bone ain't funny. I hit mine yesterday and had no feeling up to my pinkie (pie) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marcusaralius76 150 March 6, 2012 Share March 6, 2012 I took the best ten puns here and submitted them to a pun contest, hoping one of them would take first prize. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feather Spiral 1,892 March 6, 2012 Share March 6, 2012 (edited) Guys, sorry to say this, but the "no pun in ten did" thing is getting old. Anyway. I remember a time where we couldn't buy cereal for breakfast because our neighbor turned out to be a cereal killer. I no longer go to the cinema as I used to. Movie makers don't know how to keep things reel anymore. Carbon dating is how coals reproduce. (not for the faint-hearted) The quick sadistic fox's hunt had been yielding. He happily whipped his hare back and forth. Edited March 6, 2012 by Derpth Fader the Ponith I take writing commissions. "Nerds build the world, artists decorate it, warriors protect it, leaders talk everyone into doing their jobs." -me, 3 Nov 2017 "That's not a pie, that's a pastry with an identity crisis!" ~Jeric Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrMeep 264 March 6, 2012 Share March 6, 2012 Guys, sorry to say this, but the "no pun in ten did" thing is getting old. Whoah now, somepony is a bit un-stable. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cranky Doodle 0 March 6, 2012 Share March 6, 2012 I was over my friend's house and his dad comes in the room with a stack of paper full of puns. When he got the scissors to cut them out, I said "I see that you are a CUT above the rest at pun making." Thought for sure I'd get a response but he must not have heard me =( Hahahahahahahahahhahahahaha nice very funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shankveld 4,949 March 6, 2012 Share March 6, 2012 I can't make Casey Anthony jokes, my mom would kill me ~ 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feather Spiral 1,892 March 7, 2012 Share March 7, 2012 (edited) Whoah now, somepony is a bit un-stable.Eh, just stating the fax.I can't make Casey Anthony jokes, my mom would kill me ~After a brief research on the subject, I think I'd rather not know, Shank you. Here, have some dairy products instead. I find them a bit cheesy, but it's something this thread has lact until now. And I'll have the goats to do something, instead of cow-ering in a corner complaining about it. From a tired cow's milk, one can obtain yawn-ghurt. A German guy is eating dessert. His friend in the distance yells "Yo, Kurt!" and he replies "Nein, whipped cream." Two mice in robes ring a door and, to the one who opens it, say gravely: "Hi sir, we'd like to talk to you about Cheesus." The most important details are in this printout. Anything else is secondairy. This farmer is way tougher than the two of us! Let's get out of his whey before things turn sour. Do you really have to butter this guy up just because he chees-eled a sculpture? Edited March 7, 2012 by Derpth Fader the Ponith I take writing commissions. "Nerds build the world, artists decorate it, warriors protect it, leaders talk everyone into doing their jobs." -me, 3 Nov 2017 "That's not a pie, that's a pastry with an identity crisis!" ~Jeric Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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