Envy

I'm just plain unattractive, ugly. Big forehead, thin hair, strange shaped body, small breasts. People don't pay me any attention. Of course, that's a blessing in some ways. My personality doesn't help matters... Lol. There's just no reason for someone to want to be with me.

Oh geez, let me think... I've had such a short attention span as of late that I have began tons and tons of video games but not quite finished them. It quite possibly was Assassin's Creed Valhalla last year, and even so that was the base game, not including the DLC. Or maybe Pokemon Scarlet, I can't remember which I beat first.

I used to take it all of the time, but I've kinda changed that habit. Especially at work, I work in an office now so I just leave it at my desk as opposed to having to have it on me at all times in retail. I only take it with me if I, well... might be a while. I always bring my phone with me when I shower, but not in the shower. I set it right outside the shower, sometimes listen to music if no one is home.

In some areas I'm happier than I have ever been before, other areas still need improvement. But if I can't say I'm happy because of those areas that still need improvement, then I'll never be able to say that I'm happy, so I should just say that yes, I am happy.

I'm very prone to gluttony as of late. I have an insatiable appetite and eat all of the time. This is getting ridiculous, as I'm trying to lose weight but I'm hungry constantly! =(

I wish I could remember it much at all. I remember when I first woke up I was quite disturbed by it. It seemed to be kinda Doctor Who-ish in nature (might have featured the character, but IDK). IIRC, it felt like I (and some others) were either shifting to different realities or going back in time trying to escape some kind of force/phenomenon that was engulfing the world in darkness. It was a dream of escaping and thinking/desperately hoping that this time we would be safe, but then we weren't. It was a nightmare, pretty scary. Wish I remembered it in more detail, because this dream seemed a bit more coherent than others.

Corporations are probably all scummy. I try not to think about it too much because if I did I'd probably want to boycott every single company in existence. Lol. But there are a number that have inescapably caught my attention and thus I avoid, like: Chick-Fil-A: Have been in situations (two years living at university included) where this restaurant was the most convenient for me and I never gave them any business. Hobby Lobby: Just a scummy company through and through that has fought to make the world a worse place. It's a shame because they have really cute stuff and the competition just doesn't always stack up. Especially come Christmas time. But this company has been especially bad about effecting my country and I will not forgive them for it ever. HP: Okay, so it's been a decade and a half now, but I bought a laptop from them with my high school graduation money and it turned out to be defective. We sent it in to be fixed, they promised me a new one, only for the old one to return to me with NEW issues. It eventually died for good, wouldn't even turn on at all. It's been many, many years, but I will not trust that brand to this day.

Roughly 9 hours counting work and going to the store.

Strawberry sparkling water.

Absolutely I would! We have a nice mall where I currently live, but no outlet malls. I'd love to go outlet malls on vacation! Haven't been anywhere with them in forever, though. Probably would want to check out vintage/antique shops first, though. IDK perhaps they're roughly the same everywhere in the US.

I, myself, and those around me have suspected that I might be mildly autistic. However, self-diagnosis is no good and getting tested would be expensive. I would like answers, but I'm not sure if I need to prioritize that right now... What would being diagnosed help me with? Best not to add another status to the list that the government can use against me with the way the government is acting as of late.

Lockdowns didn't last too long where I live, but I kept myself in a lockdown until April 2021 when I was vaccinated. So, personally, lockdown was for roughly a year. For that year, I never went in anywhere except for doctor's appointments here and there. We ordered groceries to be brought to the car. How was it for me? Refreshing. Turns out being an introvert and being addicted to the internet has its benefits while everyone else is going crazy. It's like I was BUILT for this. Lol. Lockdowns are over, but the COVID threat is not over for me as I am immuno-compromised. I have to be very careful and always wear a mask in public aside from in rehearsals where I can't play my instrument with my mask on. lol

I'm sleepy, but I've only been up for a couple of hours and I don't want to nap my weekend away.

I'd take it and use it to help us move to Connecticut. Boy, that would be nice. Could certainly use that boost! because it's going to be a rough move. lol

It has been hot lately with occasional thunderstorms. Thankfully the severe stuff has missed us so far. But the temperatures are consistently hot enough for them to fire up and not weaken so it's stressful.

Funny story, I got my first job like a week after this topic was created. Interesting that I hadn't posted that before. My first job was an overnight grocery stocker. Overall, it didn't leave a wonderful impression on me. I, of course, couldn't stand the overnight shift. I could never get used to sleeping during the day and thus I lost a lot of sleep in the period of time I worked that job. (which was roughly four years). However, I was quite good at it. It was my very first job and I had this idea that I had to work the very hardest I could so I wouldn't get let go. The problem with that kind of job? If you work hard, you don't get rewarded. You just get more work piled on you than other employees. Your hardest work then becomes the bare minimum expected out of you... And it becomes exhausting and frustrating. Working that job turned me into a total grouch. I'm still feeling the effects years later.

I'm going to give a political slogan, but I have no intention of posting in a political context. DeSantis's "Make America Florida" CRINGE, so cringe. Like it's just ripping off of Trump's slogan but then makes it even worse. Like using Florida in that grammatical sense is absurd. The slogan comes off as extremely lazy and like "Seriously? You're going with that?" Now I don't know if it is actually his official slogan. Also, what happens in Florida can stay in Florida. It is perhaps the most undesirable state in the USA for me. Also it's hated so much that a poll of which states hate which states the most shows Florida hating itself more than any other state. Nope, we definitely DON'T want to "Florida" the rest of the US.

School 12th grade and before? Making it begin much less earlier in the day would have been amazing, also more variation in each day, less rigid structure. (although that is the life that many live in with work, and it's no fun)

I began creating 3D models of historical woodwind instruments since they're so hard to find. I've begun with simple ones, of course. I use Blender for modeling, and PhotoShop and Quixel for texturing. Here's the two I have made so far:

Anytime I leave the house I have my purse which has quite a few items: Keys Phone Earbuds Billfold with ID, debit card, insurance cards, etc.' Sunglasses Planner and Pen Mirror Earplugs Lipstick Kleenex Hand sanitizer Perfume (sometimes) Feminine products Alieve Face masks Work ID/lanyard (I'll lose it if I don't put it in my purse) Laugh at me all you want, but right now I actually have two reed water cups and a tuner/metronome in there as well. Because I play both oboe and bassoon and only have one tuner/metronome at this moment, it makes sense to stick it in my purse which is always with me no matter which instrument I'm playing. The reed water cups? Pure laziness. After rehearsal I've already packed everything up before I get to a water fountain to dump out the water, so I just throw them in my purse after I've dumped them. *sigh* I'm sooo lazy, and my purse is a disaster, TBH. Oh well. Only I have to deal with it, so... lol

Five years ago I was stressed out finishing my senior year at college. My arthritis had just began to show and I hadn't even begun to treat it yet. I had no clue at this point 5 years ago, but the following year and a half would be one of the most major trials I had yet faced. Trying to return to my stocking job was a mistake. A big mistake. I had no idea... and it hurts just thinking back about all I was going to go through that almost completely broke me.

I'll use my self-sim to demonstrate, because there is such a wide variety of CC hairstyles to demonstrate in that game: What do I most like my hair to look like?: What does my hair actually tend to look like?:

Crime is VERY low where I currently live. It's probably the number one thing that I'm nervous about in moving. I will be stepping outside of this safety bubble, for sure... But I'm leaving because the government itself isn't safe.

One thing that comes to mind is Animal Crossing. I got into Animal Crossing when I rented the original GCN game the month it was released in the US. Back then, in 2002, Animal Crossing was NOT considered "cool". Lol. But gradually over the past two decades it has risen to being one of the most popular and best-selling video game series. I think especially with New Leaf and New Horizons. It's neat to see it thriving! =)

At the beginning of the year last year. I had been applying to jobs for months and finally got my first interview, and with the most desirable job with that! I was ecstatic! The next day after the call, COVID began spreading through my household and I got it, of course. I had to call the job and tell them that I got COVID and had to cancel the interview. Thank goodness, though, because they were willing to reschedule and I got the job! A happy ending to what could have been downright devastating.