Envy

Simply - why are clothes sizes all over the place? They should be more standardized, especially as a lot of shopping happens online now. Crop tops, too. I would never wear something that short. They're very common nowadays. I hate it when I find something that is otherwise very cute and then it's a crop top. D: lol

I do. We didn't get like any in the winter. So lame.

55 degrees and cloudy. Perfect weather. Now I wish it could stay...

Oh my goodness. I feel awful. It isn't usually this bad for me, but this time around... ugh... Had to go home. Want the details? No, well I'm still giving them spoilered and then I'm off to bed. I have no clue why... I warned you. Don't click on it. I have no idea why I shared that...

I flew for the first time in a long time last year... Still don't know how I'm supposed to determine the quality of an airport. I've been to Tulsa's, Denver's, Dallas's, San Antonio's, Los Angeles's and whichever one we went to when we went to DC. Tulsa didn't have carbonated water for me to take my allergy meds for the flight and I had to get a Dr Pepper. Boo, Tulsa! lol That's one metric, I guess? Restrooms... I remember Tulsa's being really nasty, and Denver's being less nasty. But that's probably something that depends on the day. (I just want to trash on Tulsa because Oklahoma sucks. Can't you see? ) I can only compare those two because I haven't been to the others in forever. lol

I went to public school... in a state that is nearly dead last in public education. Fortunately for me, I had the privilege to attend one of the better schools in the state. And the privilege of going to one that valued band and marching band a whole lot, which has shaped my life quite drastically one could say. lol My mom recently revealed to me that she almost put me in a private Christian school. I told her that I'm so glad she didn't do that. I'm not even kidding when I say I might not be here today if she had done that.

I feel like I have a lot of similar interests to myself growing up. Although I guess it makes a big difference where you cut that off. At 18? At 12? Etc. At 18, a lot of my interests are already there, including my love for woodwind instruments modern and historical. At 18, I also already wanted to live in the Northeast, so... A house in the Northeast - an interest both my teenage and current self share. =P

I don't have a lot of issues with it. Perhaps having a window unit for my room, that way I control the temperature in my room! I had that at my apartment and I miss it. It has downsides, for sure. I have a feeling that this may be what we end up with when we move since the Northeast has less in the way of central air. lol Otherwise? The one thing I'd change is the location. The house itself is fine, I just want it in a good state.

I can't imagine that I've ever exceeded 15-20 posts in one day here. I regularly make only one or two in a day I post and don't post every day to begin with.. To think that once, a long time ago, when I was in my mid-teens, when forums were much more active, I once made a thousand posts in one day on a forum. :O I can't even imagine how such a thing happened. I was a teenager, very chatty, the forum was fun. IDK. Now it takes me like ten years to reach 1000 posts on a forum. lol

I have a Bachelor's Degree... It took me a long time to get there... and there isn't much I can do with it, aside from transfer to grad school. But yes, I have been to college. No matter what, it has been a simultaneously stressful and exciting experience somehow and have a hard time saying I would take it back. The thing is, I lived the over a decade out of high school like I didn't have a future and thus my future didn't matter (long story...) and I took college degrees and classes because I wanted the experience, and because I wanted to remain a student. Don't be like me, be a student to graduate and get a career. Technically when I returned to college in the late 2010s I was being more realistic than I was before, but now I'm a bit nervous thinking about grad school. Am I really even competent enough for this?

I dreamed that it was Christmas instead of Easter. I find this funny, I think it's my brain rejecting Easter/Spring and saying "It needs to be Christmas/Winter again!"

When I was little, I lived in what almost felt like country. That isn't true, it wasn't rural. It just was towards the edge of town. In my early teens they built a Walmart down a mile or two and things changed. Like we used to have land with horses over there, but now there's a bank and shopping strip there. So... It felt kinda small. Even though we are a suburb and near a larger city. The community is hyper religious and everything else undesirable that comes with that. I was waaayyyy too scared to tell anyone about my orientation in my teens. It was a hostile place to grow up in. You have the so-called Southern "niceness", but let me tell you, it's all fake. Every single bit of it. It's just so forced and it irritates the heck out of me. Despite all of that, I feel lucky that I was born into my family, who is a bit different from the norm around here. I had struggles with them, but thank goodness they're level-headed and down-to-earth on most things... which a lot of people around here are not. I am scared to think of how I'd been raised by any other family in this community.

Got up to 85 degrees today. >.> As per usual, Spring is a myth. It's summer.

That's really neat! I'd love to play around and create more art (the less um...furry kind lol) for my OC, but I have no clue how to do that. lol

It's a bit complicated for me, as things always are! Lol I would say college is better than high school in general. However, my college years were (have been...) rife with health issues, depression, etc. The fact that I have to say "have been" says a lot. I should have graduated altogether longgggg ago. College has been rough for me... High school was rough in its own ways, but health issues were barely present. It's led me to really romanticize my high school years over the years, but I'm learning to appreciate the years beyond. High school had marching band, which was an incredible experience, especially given the high school I went to. Sadly, I couldn't join a college marching band due to health issues. But as I said... college is overall a better experience. For one, high school is very structured - same schedule everyday, and at a really early hour to start for teens. College has been variable for me. At my last university I had no classes before 9am at any point and most of them were not that early. I had a lot of days to sleep in, some days I didn't have class until 10 or 11am! Plus, you'd have those days where a professor or two can not make it, and you are free. This is an appeal that college has that nothing else has. High school and before is rigid. Jobs are rigid. The classes in college? I have had many more memorable classes than in high school. There were some great classes in high school, but you have more freedom in college and more subjects to explore. Like I loved AP European History in high school, but in college I got to take a class specifically on Medieval England! Also, musically. While marching band was an amazing experience I haven't gotten to experience post high school, but college has symphonic orchestra! My high school probably has that now, but back when I was there orchestra was purely strings. I love classical music and all, so getting to play in orchestras has been great!

1. A new Golden Sun 2. A new Okami 3. A new Paper Mario in the styles of the first two. It's a pipe dream at this point.

A house in Florida, Texas or any other rotten state like that. Any kind of weapon. I have no desire to own such disgusting things.

I am once again posting hopefully that I'll hopefully be in New England in two years. I'm poking fun at myself here because I said that in my last post in October 2019. Life is unpredictable. The pandemic happened shortly after that post and turned everything upside down. Now I have done a lot more research, have a particular state and city metro in mind and things are gearing up to happen possibly before the end of the year. In October of 2019 it was but a pipe dream, but now it is not only possible, but a straight-up necessity with the way things are in my state.

A delightful day in the upper 40s and lower 50s with cloudy skies. =)

Back in The Sims 1, I would place a bunch of rugs and launch a firework indoors and watch all of the sims burn. ...Jesus, that sounds terrible. Well, to be fair to me, in The Sims 2 and beyond I don't even let sims die... to the point that I can't really play generational play beyond the early generations because I won't let my founders or anyone die. lol.

Got up to nearly 80 today. D: UGHHHHHH. Also, at 9PM it is still 77 degrees. Yuck. What is this, Florida? Thank goodness it stayed cloudy today, otherwise my room would be an oven, but even still the humidity has seeped in and I'm not feeling very good. Thank goodness by next Spring I might be in the Northeast. *crosses fingers* No more miserable Oklahoma Springs. That will be so amazing!!

I don't think I can stick with anything for too long. I always have these large bursts of interest and productivity, and then I lose interest (even if there's still much to be done), move on to my next obsession and the pattern completes. I get back to the same things eventually. Things that are really necessary, though... Foreign languages, ear training, playing music, I am most frustrated with my lack of attention span. I have a certain country in mind to move to should things in the US turn out for the worst, and thus learning that language should be a high priority, but alas. Oh, and musically... I am now playing both oboe and bassoon, and there is so much practicing I need to do, but the stress of the last six months put a halt to my practice schedule because I've just been too stressed to do anything productive when I get home from work. =(

I swear I was even more of a grouch than I normally would have been this past week because an hour was taken from my weekend. Also, I hate how dark it is when I get up in the mornings.

Manipulating time would be cool. Like those nights you couldn't get sleep, or if you want to sleep in, you can just freeze time and get all of the sleep you need before it's time to get up and get ready for work! There are certainly many times I'd redo in my life. Making sure I take care of myself right out of high school instead of stupidly going into denial. Not making those mistakes I did with my ex a decade ago. I mean, things would likely still end the way they did, but at least I wouldn't be blaming myself as much. Plus other things... Including perhaps trying my hardest to keep a family member from falling for the prosperity gospel/healing BS.

Moving is on my mind, and the practicalities/realities of the process are beginning to dawn on me and it's a lot to take in, and a lot of things that need to line up to make this smooth.