yisetab28

Don't be afraid to fall. A lot. In everything, you will do errors, but you need to acknowledge them and fix them as good as you can. Just to give you an idea, I'm rewriting a 5000 word long fic after hearing criticism, so don't be afraid to take some and do the good changes.

Twenty-five years a go, disaster struck Equestria. It wasn't a long, agonizing one that would last many years. Believe me, if it took years, months or even weeks, it would have been a lot less damaging than it was. Instead, it happened in one day. Nopony had time to adjust himself, to learn to live in such a radically changed world. Nopony saw it coming. Nopony. Most of my brothers and sisters in arms weren't there when it happened, so luckily for them, they didn't need to adapt to a new lifestyle like most of us needed to. They never knew the jubilation of getting their cutie mark, but neither did I. They didn't see the hundred of magnificent cities in the sky, controlling the weather and giving us some sense of security by letting us know what tomorrow would be. They never knew the convenience of lifting your stuff with your the magic of your horn instead of having to walk huge distances carrying it all on your back. Most of us didn't get a lot of information at first from the actual source of the disaster, but rumors started surfacing very fast once the disaster happened. Some said it was Discord, but no one ever even saw him after it. Some said it was the fault of King Sombra, but we all knew that he was long dead. It looked like everyone had their own story of why we lost magic, but you would never know who to trust. At first, we thought this was the worst that was going to happen. We couldn't imagine worse than losing such a big part of our lives and culture... But we were wrong. Magic was only the first part. When it crumbled, everything that depended on it soon fell with it too. Droughts, famines, every possible manner of disaster was unleashed upon the once friendly land we called home. Many of my friends died during those dark days. But darker ones were still to come... So, just wrote this quickly for a prologue to my fic. Is the style good? Anything to change?

Looks perfectly fine @nx9100. I'm looking forward for the final completed story.

Well @nx9100, in an analysis here (https://mlpforums.com/blog/268/entry-5526-how-old-are-the-mane-6/), the estimated age is more around 20 years or so. This coupled with the fact RD had something like 23 candles on her cake, the mane 6 are almost all identical in age and that almost all of them have adult level responsibilities, I don't think 16 would be a very realistic age. Unless this is set before the mane 6 met and that causes the alternate timeline.

Looks nice enough, but now the question would be why Fluttershy had time and energy to have three daughters while the entire world was under attack by some alien lizards and everyone was fleeing away. Having sexual intercourse and a few months of pregnancy is already very exhausting, and caring for a baby in this kind of world is very dangerous, and nearly impossible,Depending on when the invasion happened. If Flutter had foals directly after the finale, before the invasion happened, it would be more plausible. But after the invasion? It just feels unrealistic. tl:dr You should move the three daughters' birth date and childhood before the invasion, giving you a small window of time for them to be raised with love and care instead of being raised in a world where foal death tolls will probably be very high. Or, I have alternative 2, which is a little darker. Flutter did have 3 daughters. One of them before the invasion, the 2 after. The 2 last ones are only briefly mentioned, and are implied to have died in their childhood, with you showing Fluttershy experiencing grief over their death. A little more interesting, but also a little more dark. Also, for lightning, maybe change his name so that it doesn't seem so obviously rubbed in our faces that he is the son of RD. I know that she is very egocentric and all, but I really wouldn't imagine her or her coltfriend naming their son almost identically to one of the parents. I do have a name idea, coming from a cancelled character in my fic: Silver Streak. How does that sound?

Just a question @nx9100: What is the story about? From what I've seen I guess it's a post-apocalyptic setting, but what are the main events happening now?

Pic is upside down @AmberDust

I don't think the colors are quite right @nx9100. Maybe tone down the white a little so it doesn't hurt our eyes too much. Also for the fic, you should maybe add just a little story on how and why Flutter got with the OC, otherwise we don't have any idea why she didn't pick another character to be with.

Hm, can't really pronounce myself on this now. You should tell me who the father is so I have a better idea. Edit: Why would JF be the father? Why not a closer colt like say Big Mac, Caramel or any other cannon character? As a father, I think (please don't kill me) Flash would actually be a more plausible choice. He is underdevelloped, giving you a real wide range of possibilities to play around with, and his psychological characteristics also match Flutter's quite well. I don't really see why you should choose an OC for the father. Unless it's yours, you have almost no space to change him to make him fit in the story, and pairing OCs with cannon characters is very difficult, if not almost impossible.

Colors still hurt a bit. Try not using full saturation colors, your rendered ponies will lookmuch nicer. And care to give us some info on JF? Where does he come from? Why did he do it with Flutter? Why didn't Flutter choose any other pony than him? Also, when looking at his coat color, Fluttershy's and their daughters', there isn't really any correlation or genetic logic in it... Normally, ponies do not obey the laws of genetics like we do, but still have some kind of logic, liked mixed colors or more or less intense ones. As for the name OP, choose it according to how the daughter is going to be, and not according to Fluttershy or the father. You need to remember that a pony's name represents her past, her future, her cutie mark, everything that she was and will be. The name choices are endless, so choose well.

The colors do hurt eyes, but if they are legit, who is the father then? Also, hairstyle is NOT a hereditary characteristic. I don't know why so many artist think it is...

-I have slight OCD with everything that isn't perfectly in line. -I need classical music or at least music I like to boost my confidence up -I can almost learn any skill at lightning speed and remember it even without practicing for a few years.

I have two main whistling styles: inspiring and expiring. I can make the sound while blowing out or sucking in air. As for the sounds, my whistling basically reaches most of the notes, allowing me to compose or play songs I like like Polyushke Polya, Shadow on the sun and other songs anytime I want to, which is way more fun than any iPod.

I don't watch Fairy odd Parents, so no, I don't know what that episode is. As for Maude Pie,I'm not sure that she is devoid of emotions. I think she's just a little more silent than most characters. She is still shown to have at least love, compassion, happiness and other emotions.

So, in my fanfic, I've got one of the characters who has undergone a lobotomy. As a result of this, luckily for him, his intellectual skills weren't degraded. However, he does have little to no emotions due to the frontal lobes being removed. Do any of you guys have tips for writing a character without emotions?

So, pretty much a straightforward question. Do any of you guys out here have records of people who have undergone a lobotomy, suffered the normal emotional void, but did not see their intellectual faculties degrade? If anyone here could find me some records of that, I would be very thankful.

Not to offend you or anything, but... We all study chemistry especially in highschool/ past grade 6. It's one of the most interesting and fun subjects, after dissections.

I believe Alicorns are a big source of unique opportunities for OC creators, but are used wrongly. Either they're OP as fuck, being basically world creators and destroye s and doing whatever pleases their Mary Sue brains, or they're too underpowered for them to actually have a point in being an alicorn, and being described as the offspring of unicorns and pegasis. From what we know, alicorns are in fact godly beings, so if one chooses to make one, he should consider why the OC absolutely has to be an alicorn and not let's say a pegasi. An alicorn with a suitable and credible backstory, flaws and characteristics could be an excellent character, but still, doing so is difficult enough.