I’ve been dealing with anxiety and depression since I was about 12. Honestly I don’t really have a specific reason for why I am the way I am. Well, mostly. I know why I have social anxiety but that’s complicated. For other forms of anxiety and for depression, I just am this way. I didn’t have a bad upbringing or anything. I didn’t suffer any significant trauma. My brain is just physically predisposed to self destruction I guess.
That said I am in a good spot and have been for the past year or so. I mainly have antidepressants to thank for that because I genuinely could not function without them. Therapy and lifestyle changes can only go so far for me. I don’t have any big trauma to work through, I don’t have anything specifically in my life that makes me feel this way. Like one of my favorite Elliott Smith songs goes: “I always feel like shit. I don’t why, I guess that I just do.”
Mental health awareness has definitely gotten better, even when compared to when I was a teenager. There’s still a level of stigma associated with it, though. Especially when you’re on medication for a mental issue. And regardless of what people say, they will treat you differently if you openly exhibit certain behaviors associated with depression. Maybe not in major ways, but still. I made a post talking about that on the life advice section a little bit.