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Does being older means being more free?


RainbowMau
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What's your opinion on this topic? Do you have a testimony with this?

 

My answer would be no, I'm 29 and:

 

- People say I'm not allowed to dress cartoon clothes anymore

- Dance classes are not for people my age anymore (or at least pop ones)

- If I want to date someone they put the condition that I must be financially stable and have a car

- Cons are not a gathering place anymore cause "I'm almost 30"

- I must accomplish age standards that weren't required before 25

- I can't dress how I want, but how fashion experts want

- Any potential date don't see me as someone who wants a girlfriend anymore, but as someone who is willing to marry

- I'm not allowed to hang out with young and joyful people anymore, but with older and boring ones cause I'm not developing anymore and if I do the opposite I'll be creepy

 

I mean... WHERE'S MY FREEDOM???

Edited by RainbowMau
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- People say I'm not allowed to dress cartoon clothes anymore

Unless you are at a job (where they probably have some uniform or dress code), you can dress in any clothes you want.

 

- Dance classes are not for people my age anymore (or at least pop ones)

Are you 100% sure? If not, try looking around in your area. Remember, Google is your friend.

 

- If I want to date someone they put the condition that I must be financially stable and have a car

You probably should have these things whether you're dating someone or not. I can understand if you're in a certain cituation where you can't, but don't strive for these things just to get a girlfriend/boyfriend. Do it for yourself.

 

- Cons are not a gathering place anymore cause "I'm almost 30"

What con(s) are you talking about? I'm pretty sure most (if not all) cons allow adults.

 

- I must accomplish age standards that weren't required before 25

Not entirely sure what you mean by age standards, but again, what you accomplish should ultimately be for you and not anyone else.

 

- I can't dress how I want, but how fashion experts want

And again, you can dress however the hell you want. Stop caring what other people think.

 

- Any potential date don't see me as someone who wants a girlfriend anymore, but as someone who is willing to marry

Not every adult wants to get married.

 

- I'm not allowed to hang out with young and joyful people anymore, but with older and boring ones cause I'm not developing anymore and if I do the opposite I'll be creepy

Who you choose to hang out with is entirely up to you and no one else.

 

 

TL;DR: Stop letting society control how you live your life.

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Yes and no, it is a bit of a trade off. Adults don't have things like curfews and chaperons but also have more responsibilities and obligations and the consequences of failing to meet these is much much harsher than failure to meet any responsibilities and obligations that teens and young children tend to have. Adults usually need to get jobs to make money which dosen't sound that bad but a lot of people get caught in jobs they hate working for companies that don't give a damn about them and view them as expendable. There are opportunities to advance to jobs that won't make you miserable but with unemployment becoming worse and cost of living getting higher and higher this is becoming more and more difficult. Adulthood is not all bad but for me personally it seem like I have nearly all the responsibilities of adulthood with very few of the benefits of it.

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- People say I'm not allowed to dress cartoon clothes anymore

Let them say whatever they want.  The freedom comes in the form of doing it, anyway.

 

- Dance classes are not for people my age anymore (or at least pop ones)

Have you looked at attending classes at a community college?  I know that the one where I work at offers those types of classes.

 

- If I want to date someone they put the condition that I must be financially stable and have a car

Are you saying society as a whole or those that you have approached at this point?  If it's society, BS, because I do it and don't have a car.  If the approached, then it's their loss that they would be close minded.

 

- Cons are not a gathering place anymore cause "I'm almost 30"

Sure they are!  Heck, it's one of the few chances that I get to gather with others.

 

- I must accomplish age standards that weren't required before 25

Well, that's kind of true, but it's one of the reasons why you now have other rights, such as buying whatever you want (that you can afford), being able to vote, etc.

 

- I can't dress how I want, but how fashion experts want

...that's more of a teen "problem" and has never been truly applicable to anyone, just those that choose to believe them.

 

- Any potential date don't see me as someone who wants a girlfriend anymore, but as someone who is willing to marry

...I don't get that; a girlfriend is one of the steps before finding a wife.  Maybe it has to do with where you're looking...?

 

- I'm not allowed to hang out with young and joyful people anymore, but with older and boring ones cause I'm not developing anymore and if I do the opposite I'll be creepy

It may also have to do with your methods.  I often hang out with teens and young adults, and I'm 31.  Usually, it's to "play chaperone" while out in public.

 

I believe that we do have more freedom, as a whole.  There are new restrictions on us, but we have plenty of freedoms that teens only fantasize about.

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Freedom from your parents restrictions into the bonds of society is still not freedom, sadly.

I'd say...

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As we grow older, we lose some freedoms and gain others.  Unfortunately, many of those others rely on our opportunity to make money, and between making money and fulfilling other responsibilities, we generally don't have a lot of free time as adults, so it might feel like we have less freedom.  To put it another way: when we are young, we have time and energy, but no money; when we are adults, we have money and energy, but no time; when we retire, we have money and time, but no energy.

 

Per your list, I disagree with a few points.  I'm 27 years old and have friends who are in their teens as well as friends who are in their 40s, and the older ones aren't all boring (one of them even drives a hearse as his everyday car).  I also still attend conventions and don't feel out of place.  In a nutshell, I'm finding that age differences don't have as much of an effect as I used to think.

 

As far as dress goes, you do need to wear appropriate clothing for work or other formal settings, but outside of those settings, you can wear whatever you want.  There's always going to be somebody who doesn't approve of your tastes, but that's going to be the case no matter how you dress.  May as well just be yourself.

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How are the opinions of others imposing on your freedom? In my experience, if you feel restricted by the kind of people you're around, you need to make more of an effort to surround yourself with people who understand you and have things in common with you. Speaking as a moderately antisocial person, I know I'm not going to enjoy the company of or feel validated by the vast majority of people, but that just makes the few people I get close to all the more special. And it sounds like you need to be careful about generalising everyone your age because of the way you perceive most people your age to act and think, even though you clearly see yourself as an exception, and therefore exceptions are possible. For one example from your list, not every woman over 25 wants to get married, either immediately or ever. From my experience, putting too much stock in generalisations, however statistical they are, can lead down a dangerous road of myopia, resentment, self-pity and even persecution complex. So try to see people as individuals and put yourself in situations where you'll meet like-minded folk, that's my advice.

 

On the general topic, I think that not just reaching adulthood but ageing in general facilitates new freedoms as we're able to gain deeper understandings of the world through experience. As the adage goes, "the truth will set you free", and as we age we get more opportunities to hone our tools of rational analysis, develop and test theories about the world, and make discoveries about ourselves and others. Growing this way increases our potential for meaningful agency. The more we're aware of, the more ways we can use this awareness. As we gain responsibility for our own lives there are some constraints on what we can and can't do, but as adults, we can make much more significant decisions about the kind of life we live. The most restrictive forces I can think of are problems with the way the world's run, say, the way capitalism serves the most powerful people in society and relies on the existence of a comparatively powerless underclass. The opinions of my social peers don't have any bearing on my freedom compared to forces like that.

 

Your post seems to reduce "freedom" to the specific behaviours we can engage in without being judged by others. But to me, if freedom was just the general approval of the ways I express myself in the same terms it's granted to kids -- with the condescending presumption that I'll grow out of it, etc. -- I wouldn't value it. Real freedom is complex and challenging. In a world where free agency is constantly interfered with by crap like direct misinformation and systematic power imbalances, it seems a little petty to call slightly limiting social standards a lack of freedom. Sure, it'd be nice if in general people were more open-minded, but like I said, it's the exceptional individuals who count. If you want the world to be less hostile to the way you express yourself, your focus should be on how you can contribute to a more open-minded culture by judging others as individuals and not giving two bits about the normative standards of the nebulous society-at-large.

Edited by Paradoxy
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What's your opinion on this topic? Do you have a testimony with this?

 

My answer would be no, I'm 29 and:

 

- People say I'm not allowed to dress cartoon clothes anymore

- Dance classes are not for people my age anymore (or at least pop ones)

- If I want to date someone they put the condition that I must be financially stable and have a car

- Cons are not a gathering place anymore cause "I'm almost 30"

- I must accomplish age standards that weren't required before 25

- I can't dress how I want, but how fashion experts want

- Any potential date don't see me as someone who wants a girlfriend anymore, but as someone who is willing to marry

- I'm not allowed to hang out with young and joyful people anymore, but with older and boring ones cause I'm not developing anymore and if I do the opposite I'll be creepy

 

I mean... WHERE'S MY FREEDOM???

 

-You can wear any clothes you like, but much like going down the street naked, not everyone is going to approve of it. :P

- They'll be one. Adults are anything but nostalgic about certain dances. Besides no-once stops you dancing in your own home!

- If your dating people with those requirements then you're picking people with very long relationship plans in there head,

-You can still go to a Con. Just look for the older fans or bring a friend with you if your that worried you'll stick out.

-Thats not just you. With the recession bullshit they've got folks as young as 20 having to worry about stuff like pensions.

- Fashion Experts? Have you seen those freaks and the things they make?

-Thats good. Why would you want a date to think your in it for a brief fling and willing to run off at the drop of a hat?

- You can still hang out with joyful people. Not every nearly 30 year old is miserable (i'm not! 28 mofo). As long as your a socially active person who goes out and talks with people, younger people probably won't mind you being with them. I play with younger folks on games via skype, i think they like the idea of thrashing an "old man" at videogames. They sure as hell hate losing to me haha. (also, the trash talk of these kids. Such Language!)

 

Where is your Freedom? Freedom is where you find it.

Edited by Shire Pony Malinter
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I'd have to say yes, generally.

 

I'm 24, and i'm a lot more free to make my own choices now then i was when i was younger. However, being free does not absolve you from your responsibilities. When you're considered a child, the laws are a lot more forgiving and restricting in order to protect you as you're more likely to make costly mistakes than an adult with some life experience. These restrictions are lifted as you grow up - you have to answer for you own actions (a lot more harshly, might i add), you have to pay fines, work for a living, and various other things, etc.

 

In short, it's more freedom, with a lot more strings attached.

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I'm nearly 32 years old, and I basically do what the buck I want when it comes to self-expression and recreation (within reason and the limits of the law, of course lol).  And growing older has done nothing to stifle my inner child.

 

I watch animated shows about candy-colored equines, collect and read comics about said candy-colored equines, play video games (getting the upcoming Polka Mon game), wear anime / pony / Super Mario shirts in public, and three of my best friends are roughly a decade younger than I am.

 

If you let other people decide what you can or can't do based solely on your age (again, lawfully and reasonably xD ), then it's really you who's imposing these limitations upon yourself.  I've no further interest in worthless, suppressive nonsense like peer pressure.  That stuff belongs back in that merciless smotherer of individuality called high school.  If I'm listening to a certain kind of music, watching a certain television show, or wearing something that flies in the face of accepted fashion (and that's pretty much all I wear), it is my decision to do so.  I have comparably more freedom than I had when I was younger.  Because I stopped being the person others expected me to be.

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Merely getting older doesn't instantly translate to more freedom, I personally think the turnpoint is when you can live by your own, pay your own bills, do fulltime jobs, and have your own pet.

 

For instance right now I can totally flip my sofa upside down and hunker under there with my cat and laptop all day and exactly no one will pipe about it... though I know my body will be sore all over tomorrow morning and I'll be grumpy from having to spend all morning weakly pushing the sofa back into place :wacko:

 

Yeah, it's more freedom alright, just not consequence-free freedom

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I find that I have no freedom as an adult, but I never had any as a kid either.  Just have to work and work and work and make money and pay bills and struggle day to day just to survive.  I can't just get up and go anywhere fun, because I'd miss a day of college and I'd never catch up on the work.  I can barely handle what I already have, and I have way too many responsibilities in life.   :( 

What's your opinion on this topic? Do you have a testimony with this?

 

My answer would be no, I'm 29 and:

 

 

I mean... WHERE'S MY FREEDOM???

- People say I'm not allowed to dress cartoon clothes anymore

The thing about being an adult is, no one can tell you what to do  B) At least, until you start doing something illegal, then you go to prison.

- Dance classes are not for people my age anymore (or at least pop ones)

I'm sure they have classes that allow your age to join.

 

- If I want to date someone they put the condition that I must be financially stable and have a car

There are no dating laws except for don't date children.  Although at your age, life is going to be a whole lot easier if you can afford to take care of yourself and drive yourself places.  Why don't you have a job O.o

 

- Cons are not a gathering place anymore cause "I'm almost 30"

I know plenty of almost 30 year olds and older who regularly go to cons.

 

- I must accomplish age standards that weren't required before 25

Age standards? I have no idea what you mean.

 

- I can't dress how I want, but how fashion experts want

Refer back to #1.

 

- Any potential date don't see me as someone who wants a girlfriend anymore, but as someone who is willing to marry

I don't see how that's a bad thing.  You don't want someone who you can be with forever?  

 

- I'm not allowed to hang out with young and joyful people anymore, but with older and boring ones cause I'm not developing anymore and if I do the opposite I'll be creepy

If your friends are boring, get less boring friends, i guess.  Unless you're hanging out with teenagers, I don't see how that's creepy.  I'm 23 and most of my friends are like 18.

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Yeah, both like for me it is because I love being able to drive and etc. In my case I'd say yes because I always felt restricted because of age now I feel like I can do whatever I want.

I don't care what anyone thinks, that is how it is now I plan to do something and actually do it.

So freedom it's fun.

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I'm 35.  I wear nerd/geek/gaming/pony shirts as my regular wardrobe, even at work (Laboratories kick ass :D ).  I go to cons regularly with my friends who range in age from 19 to 57.  Some of us even cosplay.  The only thing that has changed about me since becoming an adult is I make sure the mortgage is paid before I indulge in my hobbies.

 

It really sounds like your hanging out with the wrong people, and while most jobs might require a suit and tie type attire, what you wear after work is none of their damn business.  As far as your dating life goes, financial stability is good for everyone no matter what but any one who looks at your wallet before they decide to go out with you is just bad news.  Owning a car is not a necessity either.  I came from a poor family so we took the bus or rode bikes wherever we needed to go.  I even dated and then married the love of my life without ever owning a car.  

 

I think being older does make you more free as no one can stop you from being yourself.  The only person that can hold you back is you.  So wear your cartoon clothes, raise you head high and tell the haters to buck off.

 

deal_with_it___rainbow_style__by_j_brony

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Not one bit. Being younger gives you more freedom than being older. I would kill to stay young forever, but we all know that can't ever happen. D: I know before I was diagnosed with mild autism, I had more freedom as a child. Now, I can't even walk out my front door without a massive panic attack. ._.

 

Not saying my autism diagnosis made me worse. I didn't even know I had autism until my junior year. I was fully diagnosed at the age of 12.

 

With that said, I don't care what people think of me. I want to be who I am more than someone I'm not. I'm very nerdy, a gamer and an extreme child at heart. I'd give anything to be a kid again. XD

Edited by Loki of Sassgard
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What's your opinion on this topic? Do you have a testimony with this?

 

My answer would be no, I'm 29 and:

 

- People say I'm not allowed to dress cartoon clothes anymore

- Dance classes are not for people my age anymore (or at least pop ones)

- If I want to date someone they put the condition that I must be financially stable and have a car

- Cons are not a gathering place anymore cause "I'm almost 30"

- I must accomplish age standards that weren't required before 25

- I can't dress how I want, but how fashion experts want

- Any potential date don't see me as someone who wants a girlfriend anymore, but as someone who is willing to marry

- I'm not allowed to hang out with young and joyful people anymore, but with older and boring ones cause I'm not developing anymore and if I do the opposite I'll be creepy

 

I mean... WHERE'S MY FREEDOM???

1. You don't have to listen to them

2. Hmm, you could use the resources the internet has to offer, perhaps?

3. My mom was in a relationship with a guy who rides a bike to a job where he's a busboy for like 4 years...

4. Who says that? From pictures I see, all ages go to cons?

5. Like what?

6. You don't have to listen to them

7. There are a lot of people out there looking for short term relationships or long term relationships, you just gotta keep looking

8. Yeah that's true, which kinda sucks.

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It depends what you mean by "free". I mean, after all, yes, you can do a lot of stuff that you would not be able to do when you are younger. However, there are still plenty of rules for you to follow no matter how old you are.

 

Of course, there are the society rules, such as not wearing cartoon clothes on the street anymore and other things like that. But also, as you grow up, you eventually end up replacing some rules with others (just like you replace "school" with "work" ). And in the end, the new rules you have to follow are stricter than what you have when you are younger.

 

I am not sure this is very well explained or very well organised thoughts, but hopefully, you will see what I mean....

 

EDIT  : I would say a "young adult" is between 20 and 30.

Edited by boiteporte
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Well, technically you're still one, since young adult is until 35-40.

 

That's sure as heck never been how I've looked at it.  25 is the cut-off year from young adult; at that point, you're an adult until 40.  There, you're an older man until 55.  At that point, you're a senior citizen.

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