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What do you stay alive for?


Haruhi-chan

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Oh, well I struggle with depression, anxiety, multiple personalities and ADHD so this is hard for me a lot of the time. Whenever I find myself in a dark place I think of my loving brony boyfriend who would be totally crushed if I took my life. I've already tried and he found me and saved me in the nick of time so i literally owe my life to him and for that I will get up, and carry on ❤

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Seeing the few friends I have smile, it literally means the world to me being in such a depressed and ****ed up society.

 

And MLP. Of course.


Zeusking19 - Poniverse Developer and SysAdmin

 

"No DDR machines were harmed in the making of this post."

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Love, honestly. It might seem like a sappy thing to say, but I want to just live a simple life with someone that matters to me.

I'm still stuck where I am for another year though, so I've got to put up with quite a bit to get where I want to be.

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The pursuit of happiness, and the hope that things can be better than they are.

 

I have no driving force right now, other than getting myself to a mental state where I can find some kind of meaning in my life. Till then, I take things one step at a time.

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To see how the story ends.

 

My life is pretty worthless to me; it's devolved into little more than a numbers game, watching my ledger like a hawk and praying to whatever will listen that the red numbers don't overtake the black ones. More than a third of my life has passed me by, and I still have no prospects in any area of life; everyone around me seems to be getting married or falling into careers that they're passionate about, yet here I am taking two steps backward with every step I try to take in the direction of progress. And it's not for lack of trying, either, it's just that the greater the effort I put forth to turn things around, the greater the backfire always seems to be. The only moves I can make are lateral or regressive ones, and that's pretty much how my life's always been. Call me a pessimist/cynic/defeatist or whatever else you will, but my track record speaks for itself.

 

Despite the rather hopeless nature of my existence, however, I don't have what it takes to close a book before I've finished reading it. Even if I see the ending coming from a mile away, I have to keep going for that .01% chance the writer will throw me for a loop and flip the script. It may just be nothing more than run-of-the-mill naivete that keeps me reading, but it's all I've got.

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Honestly, mostly the show. If it weren't for pony thing i'd be in a pretty  sad state.

Also in hopes one day i actually do improve in art. Also for my family.

The ponies really keep me going though, its such a positive thing. Especially since i live daily with depression and so on :P

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I guess this is the part where I'm supposed to say I stay alive for the people who care about me right?

 

Honest answer though, I dunno why staying alive. Maybe because there's some things in life that I want to comprehend? Maybe because life itself is so meaningless to me that death is nothing but a joke? Is it because of these small moments that cheer me up? Or is it because something inside me wants to keep going, no matter what? Life is strange, I don't understand why I life nor do I understand why I'm staying alive. I suppose it's the natural way it was supposed to happen.


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Sig by: Kyoshi

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Hope. Sounds kinda cliche, but it's true. Not to get too down, but I... about a year ago, I almost killed myself. I still sometimes get depressed thinking about it, and I probably will never be able to forget it. But after I had calmed down for the most part, I had gone onto my favorite forums and talked about it. They all gave me support and helped me get out of my slump. They gave me advice that I still take with me. And I am so happy that they were there, and I guess that really gave me hope for the future, and for myself.

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I live for my boyfriend, to be happy with him and be together no matter how long it may last. I live to strive for my goal, which is to finally have a boring peaceful life with no stress. Just a boring mediocre job, 8 hours of work a day and the people I love around me. That's all I want in my life and all I live for.

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Being alive is what I live for. I want to stay alive so if my family is danger, I want to be alive to do something, save them, anything. I have gotten the thought twice "What am I truly living for...?" my best answer for this is to be there for my family. If I have left this world, I could imagine how tough their lives would be after my death. Without me, my brother would have kept getting teased, my sister wouldn't have someone to play fight with, and my parents wouldn't have a person to make fun of a movie. I kept those things in mind, then it lead me to where I am today.  :)


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(edited)

My dogs (a dog's heart is so sensitive, I can't bear to break it), being the maid of honor for my best friends at their wedding (it is a few years out, so it keeps me motivated lol), and maybe actually getting to learn tenor saxophone and oboe?

Edited by Envy

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Everything needs more woodwind!

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Mostly out of habit.  I have no reason to end it, and it seems to keep going on it's own, so I'm just gonna ride with that.


GET IN THE PIT

On 8/23/2012 at 1:54 AM, Djenty said:

ON MLP 4UMS ERRYTHIN IS SRS

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My friends, my family, this fandom, my curiosity for the future and the fact that i still wait for Half-Life 3.


My OC Mesme Rize: >https://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/mesme-rize-r8777

 

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Thank you Randimaxis for this Wonderful Avatar. smile.png

Please, don't be afraid to talk to me. I am not as unapproachable, as you might think.

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This question would've stumped me not too long ago, and I still don't quite know. In recent years I've accepted that the search for something to live for can serve as a suitable answer in its own right. The longer I look, the more I find that the world is a pretty interesting place.

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