Is Friendship Losing its Magic?

[Dsanders 5,742]

Do you believe that friendships are declining in our generation? If so, then what do you think are some of the underlying factors contributing to this decline? Is it more difficult to befriend people today than, say, 20 years ago?

 

I'm interested in hearing your thoughts.

[Abia 258]

I... I don't think so, not for me. I love my friends and they've helped me mature so much in life. It doesn't matter whether I've met them online or in real life. I've learned only from the people around me; without them I would be a terrible person and also an idiot.

 

While some friendships are cheap and short-lasting, I think I've grown a little from every friendship I've had. Even the ones that ended badly taught me something. I grew close to people, I made them mad, I found out what makes me mad and how to be kind to those around me.

 

Saying all this makes me feel ridiculously naive and optimistic, but I think a good friendship is beneficial no matter what year you're born. There are definitely factors that make finding friends more difficult now, but I don't think they mean any less.

[Moonlight 7,279]

No, if anything it's easier than ever to make friendships. You can talk to anyone in the world now, so finding people to be friends with is incredibly easy. If anything, it was harder to make friends back then than today, some people don't like doing one-on-one conversations in rl and being online makes things easier. It's also easier to find people you can stand online than in rl where you're just kind of stuck with the people who live in your city.

[Shadow Beam 1,179]

I've never been the kind of guy surrounded by tons of friends, but I can say with all certainty that friendship, being an inseparable part of human socialization, can't and won't dissapear till the end of society itself.

[Side Bird 565]

Ehh, I think not.

We have more ways to stay connected and all,but it's more online/inside now-a-days. You can find a friend online in like a minute.

Edited April 7, 2015 by Snow Berry~<3

[simba86 1,541]

I think it has become much easier now that the internet is so advanced and so many people are connected to it

[Aleh 481]

Haven't seen anything to suggest friendships are getting worse .-. 
Its definitely easier to make friends as well, would never have had so many opportunities without the internet xD

Makes it easier to keep friends as well, would be hard to stay in touch with my friends without modern technology. 
So psh. Not really no

[Dsanders 5,742]

I'm seeing some interesting posts. I especially like the ones about technology allowing us to befriend and connect with more people from around the world. But this also brings up some concerns. While technology has evidently allowed us to connect with many people from around the world, wouldn't you also agree that it can hinder one from forming good quality friendships with those physically around him or her? I mean, every day when I go to college I see a plenitude of people hooked on their smartphones which can make it difficult for others to form potential friendships with them. It just seems like they're already busy texting their own friends. And much of our younger generation, from what I have personally observed, is too absorbed in social media and silly apps to give a rat's ass about making new friends. This clearly doesn't apply to all smartphone users but in my experience, there are many people who are too distracted by their mobile devices these days to be able to form meaningful and tangible friendships.

Edited April 7, 2015 by Dsanders

[OptimisticNeighsayer 471]

As long as we've got MLP:FiM, friendship will never loose its magic.  

 

But in all seriousness, you're not the first to suspect this, at least in a related sense.  The social scientist Robert Putnam, in the 2000 book Bowling Alone, has noted that participation in things such as bowling leagues, PTAs, and bridge clubs have been declining since the 1960s, which to him has resulted in a loss of "social capital" ("social networks and the norms of reciprocity and trustworthiness that arise from them") that can help society as a whole accomplish their goals through the creation of a democratic political culture.  Okay, so social capital and friendship aren't equivalent, but they overlap, and if friendship has any real-life magic it is the democratic political culture and the attitudes that motivate others to make society better for all.

 

The things that have caused what Putnam noticed, I think, can also be seen as indicators that friendship in general is indeed "loosing its magic".  He cites the attraction of TV and electronic media as distractions, and attitudes toward the community and self may also be causes.  (There's also the shift to the suburbs and the increased demands of work, but those are secondary for our purposes.)

 

Putnam's ideas haven't gone unchallenged-- it's also likely that the things that he uses as indicators for social engagement are out of date -- but we still can't help but wonder.  While the Internet certainly allows more opportunities for friendship than bowling clubs, it also allows more isolation.  Combine that with attitudes that emphasize the individual (perhaps too strongly), and you've got people who are not only less likely to seek social engagement, but don't necessarily value friendship, especially deep ones, as important to them.  That is, if people can (and are encouraged in some way) pursue what they want without others, they won't include others, and aren't likely to include others in the future, at least not in a "friendship" sort of way.

 

But then again, maybe you just haven't found the right people.  After all, there were less people 20 years ago than now.  And those "right people" are certainly just as open to new friendships as they would have been 20 years ago.

 

Note:  I'll admit I use magic in two senses here-- both the allure that a concept has in itself and the effects that the concept can have on other things.  Even so, each sense may feed off the other, being fundamentally related. 

Edited April 7, 2015 by OptimisticNeighsayer

[A Black Circle 1,585]

No, it's just changed form. Friendships now lie on things such as social media.

 

"Great concepts don't ever change. They just are delivered differently."

 

    - Hideo Kojima (probably)

Edited April 7, 2015 by Flinchel

[Misty Rose 3,215]

To me you have the same odds of making a friend irl as we've always had. You can still interact with people the same way mankind always has, going up and starting a conversation. Sure social media and the internet have provided a new way of forming friendships, but it's still far from replacing the traditional way.

 

The only way that will happen is if we become like the humans in Wall-E Please lord no

 

And as for your point on people always being on their phones nowadays....yeah in that aspect I agree it is a tad bit harder to reach out to people But my point still stands, friendship in itself and the methods used to attain it, still remain the same, with some technological upgrades

[Lisa 5,552]

To me you have the same odds of making a friend irl as we've always had. You can still interact with people the same way mankind always has, going up and starting a conversation. Sure social media and the internet have provided a new way of forming friendships, but it's still far from replacing the traditional way.

 

^

this

 

The significance of technology nowadays doesn't hinder our ability to create everlasting friendships, it just adds onto it. Sure, lots of people are glued to social media and make many friends on there instead of real life, but this doesn't stop them from starting a conversation with someone irl. 

 

Until we start becoming so lazy that we stay at home and order everything to us and converse with people over Skype (or something else), the significance of social media won't replace traditional conversation; social media simply is an addition to traditional conversation.

[Ziggy + Angel + Rain 11,298]

Do you believe that friendships are declining in our generation? If so, then what do you think are some of the underlying factors contributing to this decline? Is it more difficult to befriend people today than, say, 20 years ago?

 

I'm interested in hearing your thoughts.

I actually existed twenty years ago; I was twelve.  And not exactly the most outgoing 12-year-old ever.  It's significantly easier for me to meet new people now.  One key factor: I didn't have internet access at twelve.  I've never been a social butterfly, and I still don't really qualify.  But it's easier to open up on a forum, social networking site, via e-mail, or what have you; even though I'm not anonymous (even here).  In-person might be preferable once you feel you know a person and have developed a rapport, but communicating online is preferable to walking up to an acquaintance and coughing up the first few words.  And you can't use "lol" in real life to keep a conversation moving along. x )  I guess you could try, but you'd likely get a funny look.

[smitty121325 64]

I do believe that friendships are starting to decline in this generation. One of the major factors, I think, behind this is technology. It pretty much hinders social interaction and developing good social skills. For example, my little sister told me that at her elementary school when they have free time, instead of playing games with one another and getting to know each other, they played on their iPads and DSIs. Whatever happened to getting to know your classmates? Also, another contributing factor is parenting. Some parents don't teach their kids good communication skills and how to interact with others. They think that if you place kids in social situations, these skills will occur naturally. My parents were this way, so this could explain why I'm so shy and terrible at making friends and initiating conversation. However, I like to think that this show is opening doors to friendship yet again.

[Adorkable 2,737]

As hard as it is for some people to believe, magic is real. Maybe not creating things out of nothing or preforming miracles, but the feeling inside you that you get when you're around your closest friends. It's still something very strong in our time, it may not be as magical as it is in the FiM series, but knowing that your closest friends will always have your back is plenty magic. You can't really just pick people up like that off the streets, you know. It takes time to nurture and care for a friendship so it can grow into something strong. So no, I don't think friendship is losing its magic. Friendship can help you though all your problems and trials.

[Grepper 3,192]

On the same note as @@smitty121325, the friendships made possible via the internet tend to be more shallow than a face-to-face relationship.

 

EDIT: To be more clear, my post is "on the same note" because it is another drawback of our use of electronic communication.

Edited April 7, 2015 by MysteriousGrepper

[Misty Rose 3,215]

As hard as it is for some people to believe, magic is real. Maybe not creating things out of nothing or preforming miracles, but the feeling inside you that you get when you're around your closest friends. It's still something very strong in our time, it may not be as magical as it is in the FiM series, but knowing that your closest friends will always have your back is plenty magic. You can't really just pick people up like that off the streets, you know. It takes time to nurture and care for a friendship so it can grow into something strong. So no, I don't think friendship is losing its magic. Friendship can help you though all your problems and trials.

I've never had such meaningful friendships

[Adorkable 2,737]

I've never had such meaningful friendships

 

I'm sorry to hear that. 

 

Maybe you just haven't found "your" friends yet, know what I mean? Twilight once said that we're all connected to our friends even before we meet them.

[Gone Airbourne 21,969]

I believe it is much harder to make friends as you get older. I guess it depends person to person but in my case finding friends these days with similar interests as I. Well it has been very difficult honestly But then again I think it depends on the person and their personality too.

 

Speaking on the era of time do I think friendships are withering? Hmm... that is a good question I don't think so but I think people should always keep those few who are close to them as those close friends. True friends are few and far between.

[Justin_Case001 4,858]

Idk.  Maybe.  I have a few great friends, but I don't live near them anymore.  We have Steam night two nights a week, though.  But I haven't made so much as an accquaintance in my new (well, not so new anymore) town.  Not in six years.  But I never made friends easily.  I do kind of think that the more digital we become, the harder it is to make friends.  I think we're kind of headed towards Wall-E.

[Honsou 399]

Do you believe that friendships are declining in our generation? If so, then what do you think are some of the underlying factors contributing to this decline? Is it more difficult to befriend people today than, say, 20 years ago?

 

I'm interested in hearing your thoughts.

Honestly, yes. For me they have, a lot of the people I used to think were my friends probably don't even know I exist anymore. It's sad, but I haven't been home in a awhile because there is nothing to go back home too. No friends, nothing. I think it's because of technology that we are losing our cutie marks if you know what I mean, which in turn is costing us our personalities and our friendships.

[SCS 7,444]

Ironically, I think social media may be undermining genuine friendship. People are so focused on socializing constantly that it's become some kind of sport, some way to make a name for yourself, build your credibility (in your own mind, at least) and so on. It depersonalizes socialization and turns it into a grand-scale popularity contest. 

 

That doesn't mean social media or the internet in general is entirely bad, though. Quite the opposite. These mediums have allowed for tremendous friendships, relationships, and even marriages to grow and flourish. 

 

It's all in how you use it. And how you use it is up to you.

[Hashi 323]

I almost got my hands on ultimate friendship a while ago, or whatever you would call it.

Honestly, I think tech, despite being a useful medium, removes the physical comforting aspect of friendship, which is kinda vital.

[Poetic Stone 1,040]

I also believe its harder to make new friend when you get older. I have found it hard to meet good people. Although I have met some bronys here where I live, and they are making me hopeful about meeting new friends. I do believe that friendship is magic, because true friendship truly is magic. Have A good day friends.

[BastementSparkle 20,312]

I honestly wouldn't have made any friends at all if it weren't for the internet. I'm introverted, a bit awkward and strange, and I really just don't enjoy face to face interaction with most people. I don't even feel comfortable around my own family 99% of the time, and any friends I've had in real life have drifted away from me incredibly easy, or were never good friends to begin with.

 

 I've met all of my best friends online, and a lot of them are people I legitimately feel comfortable talking to and trust quite a bit, some I'd even be willing to talk to offline if possible. I don't think these friendships are any less meaningful simply because they're created a different way, if anything I think that helps them in some cases.

 

 I think friendship is easier to get in a lot of ways now, because if you can't find it offline for whatever reason, you can find it online too, and those friendships can be just as wonderful. You could say that that might hinder some people's social skills, but some people have an incredibly hard time learning those skills, and some people just never quite get it.

 

 But yeah, sometimes being absorbed in technology can hinder friendships offline, so I guess it's a bit of a double-edged sword at times.