general What life do you want?

[Splashee 28,566]

Another internet sensation life where something big happened that I could follow, like FIM was.

[Pandora 38,064]

What life? 
A life that goes smoothly lol

[ExplosionMare 18,073]

A productive and fulfilling one

[Flying Pencil 3,024]

A happy one, free of stress

[Steve Piranha 29,429]

3 hours ago, Flying Pencil said:

A happy one, free of stress

That’s all I want myself. I need a decent amount of money for it, but I’d rather get enough to get me by at least a whole year of bills. I can’t give a fuck about latest car models, let alone a mansion; I just want a nice permanent blanket which let me go travel in peace and have lots of free time

[Splashee 28,566]

I want a 1up, but Sonic Origins won't let me.

[They call me Loyalty 1,948]

I've always felt this sense of extradition within me. But in the more literal sense. Ex-tradition. Losing your original homeland and your traditions.

But when I imagine my ideal life. I would live near a rural area. Driving a tractor around the dirt roads with my hunting rifle. Having a little shed, and some animal farms of my own.
Living with my own sister and our kids. In distant proximity with the rest of the family. Because I have always been in the more wild side.

So, I am lost here. Which doesn't make me a cannibal, or a predator. Since there are those who have accused me of this, or have looked at me this way when I used to contemplate the streets from the balcony in this house, feeling a sense of wrongness with my place in the world. And the reality of it, is that I was looking for my home all along. I was lost. I am still lost.

Also, eventhough my mother or her brother have never asked themselves about their origins in 53 years, despite that their lives are in limbo. They still feel this painful sense of longing. And I would often ask my mother what are her plans for the future, and just looks at me and says that she doesn't know what to do anymore. And even if she had the means, she would probably stay there as if someone had plucked the soul out of her.

She just mentions "wanting to travel around the world" without any particular destination in mind. Or wait for another life, as she had surrendered herself, already. And this is because there is a part of her that is still looking for her "home", like it happens with me. But the problem is that because of the way that she was raised and indoctrinated, she lost a part of herself, the same way I lost a part of me. But regardless, she keeps coming back to me, and has been sacrificing her own relationships to stay with me since the beginning.

And I have always felt the same way. Because the love that exist between people within the same family is different for us. But that love was denied.

Like when I think about that sister who was never born, and how they lied to my mother about it. Not about age difference and such. But someone like me, of similar age. And because it is a form of love like any other, that has been denied. Which is killing me and my mother now.
And because that is who we are. It is in my genes like an invisible record playing the ancestral behaviour that makes me myself. Which is the reason the rest of my family are so depersonalized and depressed "without"a reason. Or how my mother started to go against the rest family since before I was born.

Or these reucurring dreams since childhood where I am desperately looking for my home, and then pass by my current residence and I do not recognize it as as my home anymore. Because it never was.

But we are... fine. At least from a financial perspective. But that is the reason I act so agressively. Because I am in pain. Because my family is dying, and I cannot do anything about it. Because of the way the rest of the family, and other people interfered to damage who we are. Like it was a joke, but there is no one laughing now.

Because what you did is wrong. But you know that already. You just have to look under that mockery, and it will start to hurt, too. That is the reason people cannot look me in the eyes when I look at them honestly. Because they know it is wrong, too. So, either silence or mockery, you know it, too.

That is the reason she mentions material possesions so much, because she is broken like an addict, and just cries. So, c'mon, give me a like, now. For honesty's sake. And I am the "faggot".

Edited June 5, 2023 by They call me Loyalty

[Gone Airbourne 21,977]

I know what I wanted a few years ago... but now I'm just trying to be thankful for what is at the current moment. I've come to realize I'm not alone in this lonely life I understand that now. That whatever will be will be... if it's meant to happen it will and if not that is okay too. I'm done trying to force things to happen... I just want peace of mind and tranquility.

[Old Accnt. 3,149]

There is no specific life i want i wish i wasn’t retarded that’s the only thing that i need to get rid of in whatever life i end up having

[Iforgotmybrain 5,744]

I just wanna be happy, man.

[Envy 6,178]

I'm happy to report that this isn't me anymore:

On 2017-01-06 at 8:40 AM, Envy said:

I just want my high school/teenage life back. The life where my biggest challenges in my life were feeling not good enough as a musician and teenage social drama. There were no sign of my medical issues. I had a life where I could look forward to the future. I had such a carefree, normal life.

I'd give anything to have that again.

My life will never be quite as carefree as it was back in high school. But the health issues have been looked at and I am able to look forward to the future again. =)

Um... So... This time, my post will be about future and not the past.

I would like:

• To move to Connecticut, and for my parents to join me as well.
• To learn to drive, and be confident at it.
• To attain a stable, at least decently paying career that I feel like I'm doing good for this world.
• To find a partner.
• To have a child.

These are all on my list right now. I don't know if #4 will happen, because that depends on actually finding another person, but I hope to achieve the others at least!

TBH, not to keep dwelling on the past, but the woman I loved most recently. I wish we could be together. But that simply cannot be. She is straight.

Edited October 2, 2023 by Envy

[Clawdeen 15,095]

On 2022-06-26 at 9:16 PM, Clawdeen said:

I would be a rich, beautiful and popular woman with a job I loved(don’t ask me what that is because I don’t really know.) I would be in an amazing relationship and I’d be happy.

Well I'm definitely becoming well known within the workplace. Especially if what I overheard yesterday was true and I'm going to be the PDM of two manufacturing plants now. This is probably one of the best jobs I've ever had. So yeah I'm well on my way to making my dream life happen lol

[ZiggWheelsManning 10,775]

The life of a construction worker who craves adrenaline rushing stunts  

[Retro*Derpy 3,191]

I'd like a house somewhat near a warm coast and not a day sober  and retired!

[Spark Thunderbass 1,441]

A life in Melbourne living in a beautiful home in the suburb of Williamstown with the girl of my dreams, preferably, an East Asian girl, I find them to be the most beautiful and cute looking. 

Edited February 15, 2024 by Spark Thunderbass

[EpicEnergy 23,222]

I like to blame the low quality of my life on my mental health issues, but deep down I believe that I am the architect of my own problems. If there's a wrong choice to make, I will always make it! Which is why nonexistence is the best life I could live, because any other life would be destroyed by my fundamentally flawed self.

[Kyoshi Frost Wolf 41,668]

These days, I don't even know anymore. I guess in the simplest terms, I just want to be happy, to be able to have passion for things, and to actually like who I am, without any of the depression or self hatred in my life. I don't if even something as simple as that is possible anymore. I know I have no real value in this world. I am a total mental train wreck, and I try to be helpful, but in the end it is all about having either money or talent. I have neither, never will. All I have is my stupid, simplistic enjoyment of things, but it comes at the cost of being an autistic weirdo with crippling anxiety and no real purpose. I want to also maybe hope that one day I can live with my boyfriend, but...I don't want to be a burden on him. He is so much more worthwhile than I could ever hope to be.

These days, I'm near convinced that I am not meant for this world. I just want the happiness I once had in my youth, to be able to feel joy without any caveats, but those days could be long gone. Apologies for my depressive rambling, it's just been an emotional night for me. 

Edited July 30, 2024 by Kyoshi Frost Wolf

[Treeglow Flicker 13,744]

One with an interesting ending that I can be satisfied with.

[ComanderZhabikKlavik 3,293]

I want to live alone in the forest away from everyone and I will do everything to do it. I can't just go with the flow I am the god of my life I control myself and only I can decide how to live. I am not going to sit and wait for happiness to come to me. I will build my own happiness

.

[Arrlong28 800]

Personally, I wanted to bully someone, stealing,  **** a lot and die in the street with a syringe full of something hard in my veins. Those that do that look like they're living the real life (and if they die everybody say they where angels on earth) and the rest of us are just stupid.

We're depressed, bullied, and alone with no self-esteem for being yourself... At least in my country, people affected by drugs get a free pension and a lot of free services so I don't see nothing negative about it. I choose to think that when this is over, there will be some kind of price for being yourself, only because gives me some relief.   

All the life's I wanted just disappeared... Entrepreneur, Franciscan Friar, Priest, Farmer, Musician... All gone.

The thing I wanted to be now is an Old Wise Man, with a guitar, a long beard; went to madness and return so I can give good advice to people who needed to see the unseen things of the reality.

Probably, I'm not going to live to much due to all my conditions and Illness. God, or the universe, give you what you want but never in the way you want.

[abronymouse 5,555]

Not "what do I want to do?" but "what life do I want?" I do not like questions like this. I want a life in which I do what I want, but that does not mean that I want to live selfishly, because I do not want to hurt others to get what I want and what I want may include helping other people.

Right now, I want to listen to this song.

 I 

[Bright Honor 2,683]

Honestly?just a stable and secure life. I would envision myself living in a small town, with a ranch style house and decent yard. I work a stable job and come home to a wonderful woman who supports me. I’d want my brother to do well as well. And I want my mom to be ok. That is all.

[ZiggWheelsManning 10,775]

The life of a traveler to cover every square mile of Australia  

[Winter Storm 245]

I feel stuck in a loop with no way out. Sometimes I can push back all the negative thoughts for a few weeks at a time, but sooner or later they all come back. I don't see anything I can do about them.

[Crypty Scribbles 5,164]

I want a power to rule time, space and people! Muahahaha! 

Or at least I want to be the one who controls my own time as it's priceless and limited, have a freedom to travel around the World whenever I want and be surrounded by people who makes me better and happier. 

But I'm talking too much. I still have a lot of hard work to do to make it real. 

 

38 minutes ago, Winter Storm said:

I feel stuck in a loop with no way out. Sometimes I can push back all the negative thoughts for a few weeks at a time, but sooner or later they all come back. I don't see anything I can do about them.

We all stuck in the loop and there's no way to escape. All we can do is to change it by one little step on each iteration till we get satisfied how smoothly gears are rotating to move the machine of our life in the right direction.

Cheers ^•^

Edited October 18, 2024 by Creepy Scribbles