Ask Tuxedo Man

[TheOneGuy0000 404]

14 hours ago, Duality said:

She says that sometimes bad things happen and there's nothing you can do about them except keep moving forwards.

That is a very wise response to the situation. Tell her that I am genuinely impressed. Does she have any hobbies?

14 hours ago, Duality said:

She also says you're totally genuinely a good liar.

Well, Miss Sparkles (Uh, can I call you Twi?), if you wish for me to be more self confident I suggest talking to Duality. He keeps messing with my self-esteem.

14 hours ago, Duality said:

ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS SAY HA HA HA DUALITY THAT'S FUNNY REALLY GREAT COMIC IT WAS TOTALLY WORTH THE TIME YOU SPENT DREDGING THIS UP FROM THE DEPTHS OF YOUR BROWSER HISTORY SOLELY FOR MY SAKE

AND THEN SUBTLY CHANGE THE SUBJECT TO TRY AND AVOID ME DUMPING MORE COMICS ON YOU

HA HA HA DUALITY THAT'S FUNNY REALLY GREAT COMIC IT WAS TOTALLY WORTH THE TIME YOU SPENT DREDGING THIS UP FROM THE DEPTHS OF YOUR BROWSER HISTORY SOLELY FOR MY SAKE

 

HEY LET'S TALK ABOUT THE TERRIBLE LACK OF EMBER FIGURES

I NEED MY EMBER FUNKO, HASBRO

WHERE'S MY EMBER FUNKO

14 hours ago, Duality said:

ARE YOU KIDDING ME THIS IS LITERAL CHILD'S PLAY WHY TUXEDO WHY

14 hours ago, Duality said:

THE RIDDLE IS AN ACRONYM TUXEDO

ONE THAT WAS RELEVANT TO OUR CONVERSATION WAY BACK WHEN I CAME UP WITH IT

YOU HAVE LOST YOUR CHANCE

HAO DAER YOUUUUU

I DON'T HAVE THE TIME NOR FOCUS NECESSARY TO SOLVE YOUR EXQUISITE RIDDLES, DUALITY

WE TALK ABOUT DOZENS OF TOPICS PRETTY MUCH AT THE SAME TIME, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO PICK 'N CHOOSE

15 hours ago, Duality said:

I REMEMBERED THE LUNA ONE BUT DIDN'T KNOW IF YOU HAD ANY MORE

IT'S BEEN MONTHS SINCE YOU TOLD ME AND YOU BARELY TALKED ABOUT THEM TO BEGIN WITH

SUCH A MEANIE TUXEDO

OK FINE, DECENT ENOUGH EXCUSE

. . .

Do you wanna see them?

15 hours ago, Duality said:

What's the most dangerous thing you've ever come into contact with?

A pile of scorching-hot ash.

15 hours ago, Duality said:

What's the most laughably not-dangerous thing you've ever come into contact with?

Probably a ladybug.

Pretty much the only insect that I'm not completely terrified of.

15 hours ago, Duality said:

What's the most fancy cut of meat you've ever tasted?

I LOVE ALL MEAT

HOW CAN I DECIIIIIIIIIDE

 

BESIDES, YOU DON'T KNOW OUR MEAT BRANDS

I LIKE BEEF IN PARTICULAR

15 hours ago, Duality said:

What's the most laughably not-fancy cut of meat you've ever tasted?

Whatever you call the burnt skin of a pig.

Some folks around here consider it a delicacy, my dearest father being one of those people.

I've tried it once.

It's utterly disgusting.

[Duality 10,738]

11 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

That is a very wise response to the situation. Tell her that I am genuinely impressed. Does she have any hobbies?

She said thanks. I think she was trying to hide a blush, but that might've just been a trick of the light.

She enjoys strength-building calisthenics, interacting with my other figurines and plushies, and giving me advice when I'm playing strategy games.

She told me - and this is something I didn't actually know about her - that she especially enjoys talking to herself (the plushie version of her), not because she's crazy or self-obsessed, but just because it makes for some very interesting and insightful conversations, especially on the subject of the nature of individuality and whether she and herself are actually the same pony.

11 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

Well, Miss Sparkles (Uh, can I call you Twi?), if you wish for me to be more self confident I suggest talking to Duality. He keeps messing with my self-esteem.

She says I'm actively trying to increase your self-esteem, but I just make a few silly slip-ups here and there along the way.

She also says that she prefers to be called Ms. Sparkle, but that it's not really a biggie either way.

11 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

HEY LET'S TALK ABOUT THE TERRIBLE LACK OF EMBER FIGURES

I NEED MY EMBER FUNKO, HASBRO

WHERE'S MY EMBER FUNKO

Let's talk about how, when I went to see the MLP Movie, my cinema DIDN'T HAVE THOSE AMAZING MOLDED-MANE CUP-TOPPER PONES WHAT IS THIS ANARCHY

I SHOULD'VE BURNT THE PLACE DOWN AND LEFT ONLY ASHES IN MY WAKE

11 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

OK FINE, DECENT ENOUGH EXCUSE

. . .

Do you wanna see them?

DEFINITELY

11 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

A pile of scorching-hot ash.

oh yeah

that

11 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

Probably a ladybug.

Pretty much the only insect that I'm not completely terrified of.

Even woodlice?

I always thought those woodlice that rolled up into a tiny ball when you touched them were adorable.

11 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

Whatever you call the burnt skin of a pig.

Some folks around here consider it a delicacy, my dearest father being one of those people.

I've tried it once.

It's utterly disgusting.

It's called 'crackling', and you, my dear sir, are a HERETIC.

 

 

 

 

What's the most interesting clock you've ever seen?

What's the weirdest relative you have?

[TheOneGuy0000 404]

10 hours ago, Duality said:

She said thanks. I think she was trying to hide a blush, but that might've just been a trick of the light.

She enjoys strength-building calisthenics, interacting with my other figurines and plushies, and giving me advice when I'm playing strategy games.

She told me - and this is something I didn't actually know about her - that she especially enjoys talking to herself (the plushie version of her), not because she's crazy or self-obsessed, but just because it makes for some very interesting and insightful conversations, especially on the subject of the nature of individuality and whether she and herself are actually the same pony.

Ah, but I am merely stating the truth.

Quite the Toy-Story-esque setup you got there, huh? Well, I'm just glad she has someone to chat to when you're away. Say...  What... What does she think about the Twilight portrait I did for you?

11 hours ago, Duality said:

She says I'm actively trying to increase your self-esteem, but I just make a few silly slip-ups here and there along the way.

She also says that she prefers to be called Ms. Sparkle, but that it's not really a biggie either way.

Well, constantly acting super-competitive when it comes to our little debates and taunting me whenever you win isn't the most promising start, is it? 

Very well then, Ms. Sparkle it is.

11 hours ago, Duality said:

Let's talk about how, when I went to see the MLP Movie, my cinema DIDN'T HAVE THOSE AMAZING MOLDED-MANE CUP-TOPPER PONES WHAT IS THIS ANARCHY

I SHOULD'VE BURNT THE PLACE DOWN AND LEFT ONLY ASHES IN MY WAKE

THEY DIDN'T HAVE THEM HERE EITHER, AND THEY USUALLY DO

Well I mean we didn't buy anything anyway but still

DID YOU FORGET THE GASOLINE CANISTER AT HOME OR SOMETHING

11 hours ago, Duality said:

DEFINITELY

Alright, here's a picture of all my pone-related merch at the moment:

Spoiler

I got lucky with the kinder eggs and got a cute lil' Twily a while ago

The rest I bought

The Pinkie plush is pretty soft and fairly well made, if you overlook the weird stripes of fabric that represent the mane (seriously why did they do that)

BUT THE LUNA PLUSHIE

IT'S ONE OF THE GREATEST OFFICIAL PLUSHIES I'VE SEEN (which is probably why I wasn't able to find it at local stores and had to order her from freakin' China)

SHE FEELS LIKE VELVET

AND THE SEWED-ON EYES

AND POSABLE WINGS

SUCH QUALITY

11 hours ago, Duality said:

oh yeah

that

Why must you keep reminding me of this horrific incident, Duality

11 hours ago, Duality said:

Even woodlice?

I always thought those woodlice that rolled up into a tiny ball when you touched them were adorable.

Well, I said 'pretty much', obviously there are other fairly-cute-not-miniature-horror-monster ones

11 hours ago, Duality said:

It's called 'crackling', and you, my dear sir, are a HERETIC.

OH NO, NOT YOU TOO

HOW CAN YOU ENJOY IT

IT TASTES LIKE BURNT SILICON

HAVE YOU NO FUNCTIONAL GAGGING REFLEXES

11 hours ago, Duality said:

What's the most interesting clock you've ever seen?

This one:

Spoiler

No, it is not a distorted image of a regular office clock.

11 hours ago, Duality said:

What's the weirdest relative you have?

The (sorta?) husband of my grand-aunt (the sister of my father's mother). He is the definition of shady and is very rarely sober. He also tends to get very violent whenever he's upset (which is quite often due to his lack of sober-ness). Suffice to say, we all try to avoid them. Or tried, seeing as I won't have to directly deal with that side of the family too often thanks to the...  arrangement.

[Duality 10,738]

7 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

Say...  What... What does she think about the Twilight portrait I did for you?

She says she really liked it and that her favourite part is how you drew her manecut all glossy and so much more tidy than it really is.

She wishes it actually looked like that.

7 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

DID YOU FORGET THE GASOLINE CANISTER AT HOME OR SOMETHING

NO

JUST THE LIGHTER

AND THE CINEMA IS A NO-SMOKING ZONE SO I COULDN'T FIND ANYONE ELSE TO LEND ME A LIGHTER

7 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

Why must you keep reminding me of this horrific incident, Duality

was ackydental

7 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

Well, I said 'pretty much', obviously there are other fairly-cute-not-miniature-horror-monster ones

Which ones?

7 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

OH NO, NOT YOU TOO

HOW CAN YOU ENJOY IT

IT TASTES LIKE BURNT SILICON

HAVE YOU NO FUNCTIONAL GAGGING REFLEXES

NOPE

IT'S THE ONLY REASON I SURVIVED THIS LONG LIVING WITH MY BROTHER

7 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

This one:

  Reveal hidden contents

No, it is not a distorted image of a regular office clock.

I need that in my life.

Like, need it.

 

 

 

 

What's the most impractical novelty item you own?

Approximately how many raindrops do you think have fallen down the back of your neck and been all cold and wet and stuff and made you shudder?

How many pockets are there in all of the clothes you own put together?

WHERE BE YE TREASURE, LANDLUBBER???

[TheOneGuy0000 404]

17 hours ago, Duality said:

She says she really liked it and that her favourite part is how you drew her manecut all glossy and so much more tidy than it really is.

She wishes it actually looked like that.

Tell her that I for one think her mane looks dazzling. Much better than my barbie-perfect interpretation.

 

Spoiler

(Psst!)

(Hey, Duality!)

(What was the date of the day you found her?)

(That's technically her birthday!)

(I want to draw her something as a gift.)

 

17 hours ago, Duality said:

NO

JUST THE LIGHTER

AND THE CINEMA IS A NO-SMOKING ZONE SO I COULDN'T FIND ANYONE ELSE TO LEND ME A LIGHTER

HOW UNFORTUNATE

SHOULD HAVE SHORT-CIRCUITED SOME ELECTRONIC DEVICE AROUND THERE AND 'LIGHT UP THE PARTY' WITH THAT

17 hours ago, Duality said:

was ackydental

THIS IS LIKE THE FIFTH TIME I WAS FORCED TO ANSWER THAT

FIRST TIME IT'S RANDOM CHANCE

SECOND TIME IS A COINCIDENCE

WHAT IS IT THE FIFTH TIME, HUH, DUALITY?

17 hours ago, Duality said:

Which ones?

Pretty much all the ones that aren't miniature disgusting abominations.

Therefore, not as many as you'd think.

(I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY I DON'T KNOW ALL THE INSECTS IN THE WORLD JEEZ BUT I DOUBT I'D HATE ALL OF THEM ASIDE FROM JUST LADYBUGS)

17 hours ago, Duality said:

NOPE

IT'S THE ONLY REASON I SURVIVED THIS LONG LIVING WITH MY BROTHER

IS IT REALLY THAT BAD

17 hours ago, Duality said:

I need that in my life.

Like, need it.

I know, right?

I thought it was just photoshopped the first time I saw it.

Looks like something Discord would have in his home

17 hours ago, Duality said:

What's the most impractical novelty item you own?

A literal (semi-precious) rock just sitting on my desk.

17 hours ago, Duality said:

Approximately how many raindrops do you think have fallen down the back of your neck and been all cold and wet and stuff and made you shudder?

Very few. Less than twenty, I'd say.

17 hours ago, Duality said:

How many pockets are there in all of the clothes you own put together?

~50, give or take a few smaller ones

17 hours ago, Duality said:

WHERE BE YE TREASURE, LANDLUBBER???

I NO BE TELLIN' YE SUCH THINGS, YE SCALLYWAG

Edited November 5, 2017 by TheOneGuy0000

[Duality 10,738]

On ‎6‎/‎11‎/‎2017 at 6:32 AM, TheOneGuy0000 said:

Tell her that I for one think her mane looks dazzling. Much better than my barbie-perfect interpretation.

She thanks you and says you're a merciless flatterer.

On ‎6‎/‎11‎/‎2017 at 6:32 AM, TheOneGuy0000 said:

HOW UNFORTUNATE

SHOULD HAVE SHORT-CIRCUITED SOME ELECTRONIC DEVICE AROUND THERE AND 'LIGHT UP THE PARTY' WITH THAT

Tragically, there wasn't anyone there at the hour I went to the cinemas, otherwise a rewired smartphone would've been the demise of the place. 

On ‎6‎/‎11‎/‎2017 at 6:32 AM, TheOneGuy0000 said:

THIS IS LIKE THE FIFTH TIME I WAS FORCED TO ANSWER THAT

FIRST TIME IT'S RANDOM CHANCE

SECOND TIME IS A COINCIDENCE

WHAT IS IT THE FIFTH TIME, HUH, DUALITY?

you contriving obtuse methods to bring up your agony in conversation?

On ‎6‎/‎11‎/‎2017 at 6:32 AM, TheOneGuy0000 said:

Pretty much all the ones that aren't miniature disgusting abominations.

Therefore, not as many as you'd think.

(I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY I DON'T KNOW ALL THE INSECTS IN THE WORLD BUT I DOUBT I'D HATE ALL OF THEM ASIDE FROM JUST LADYBUGS)

How about ants?

On ‎6‎/‎11‎/‎2017 at 6:32 AM, TheOneGuy0000 said:

IS IT REALLY THAT BAD

I'm currently observing the floor of his room and taking note of the 5 full changes of clothes lying on the floor after having been worn once a week ago and discarded as soon as a modicum of sweat had soaked them.

Take that response as you will.

On ‎6‎/‎11‎/‎2017 at 6:32 AM, TheOneGuy0000 said:

A literal (semi-precious) rock just sitting on my desk.

*glances uneasily at literal (non-semi-precious) rock just sitting on my desk*

On ‎6‎/‎11‎/‎2017 at 6:32 AM, TheOneGuy0000 said:

Very few. Less than twenty, I'd say.

On ‎6‎/‎11‎/‎2017 at 6:32 AM, TheOneGuy0000 said:

~50, give or take a few smaller ones

Interesting.

Very interesting indeed. . .

On ‎6‎/‎11‎/‎2017 at 6:32 AM, TheOneGuy0000 said:

I NO BE TELLIN' YE SUCH THINGS, YE SCALLYWAG

WHY YE DECK-SWABBING HORNSWOGGLER

 

 

 

How many letters are there in your full name?

How many letters are there in your mailbox?

How many letters are there in your mind?

How many letters are there in the URL of your computer/phone's homepage?

[Guest]

Are you more man than tuxedo or the other way around? 

If you were to rip a sleeve, would you go to the hospital or the tailor?