Post A Quote From Your Day, Without Any Context.

[ThePinkestofPones 6,160]

"I'm a very smart horse!"

"If you were a donkey I could call you a smart ass!" 

"Ha funny joke!"  "That's my job though,"

[Iforgotmybrain 7,155]

"Going to Ole Miss should've been an automatic red flag"

Edited July 13 by Iforgotmybrain
forgot the "an"

[Castle Bleck 19,448]

"I'm not just some... trophy wife!"

"...You're a trophy wife? ...What contest in Hell did I win?"

[Raskolnikov 1,735]

"And this is what it looked like before the Germans arrived."

[Raskolnikov 1,735]

"Where is this from?"

"It's coming from the depths of my PAIN."

[Denim&Venöm 20,459]

 "Take the best. Burn the rest." 

[ComanderZhabikKlavik 4,568]

Close the doors, shoot everyone and then interrogate them!

[Do svidaniya 2,068]

"Gods there are just some days where you can't go outside."

[Felis Amafeles 2,007]

"They are like us, unable to fly, at most able to leap with all their might, then glide, slowly falling... "
"But we and they can both wait to die! "

[Denim&Venöm 20,459]

 "Gun autism and 2000s cheesy action movies.

My favorite!"

[Tropical Melody 7,517]

"Why does it have to have so many teeth?"

 

[Raskolnikov 1,735]

"This might as well happen. This isn't even the first time I've had a poo explosion this week."

[Denim&Venöm 20,459]

 "Wait, why is Santa coming out to Seek & Destroy while holding a baseball bat?"

[Raskolnikov 1,735]

"I hate it when the house leaves at night."

[Tropical Melody 7,517]

"Well, I don't think I'm going too far, Jeeves, when I say that this just about takes the giddy biscuit!"

 

[EtchASketch 3,401]

"If you think about it, we're all edible." -CelinaSpookyBoo

[Do svidaniya 2,068]

"Venezuela! Oh wait no that's the Greek flag."

"It's the same thing, really."

[Raskolnikov 1,735]

"There should be a mod to run over animals."

Edited July 16 by Raskolnikov
MOD NOT LOVE

[Do svidaniya 2,068]

"There's hazard lights?"

"Yeah it's when the lights blink on both sides, it doesn't just mean that the car is confused."

[Denim&Venöm 20,459]

 "Max, you're not the physical embodiment of anyone's depression.

You're the physical embodiment of everyone's impulsive thoughts."

[Tropical Melody 7,517]

"The British obsession with saltanas and currants and stuff? I don't get it. I know it's got to be historical or something ..."

 

[Denim&Venöm 20,459]

 "So.

Many. 

Goddamn.

Secret Passages!" 

[Samurai Equine 55,052]

Even after I asked them if they got it right, they still got my order wrong. 

[Denim&Venöm 20,459]

 "Was your affair revealed on the jumbo tron at a Coldplay concert?

Then you might be entitled to financial compensation!"

[Tropical Melody 7,517]

"And number 6 on our list of things that ought to be illegal is making tea in the microwave – this unfortunately is punishable by death – you don't even get a trial, you go straight to death row ...

"Number 14 – microwaving fish in a shared office environment ..."