mega thread How are you feeling?

[They call me Loyalty 1,948]

Bad. But such is the nature of some truths, that the closer you get to them, the more it hurts.
Good way to know whether you are getting closer or not, especially when the past has been erased for you. Since there is only this dark blank in the subconscious and nothing else.
Damn, I wouldn't be so self-destructive if it wasn't because I am in so much pain. But I need to know. I owe it to them. Still, it is difficult.

I was in another platform, and the moment I mentioned certain information, my posts were instantly deleted. You can post whatever the hell you want, except for the ****ing truth, which is the only thing that will give me peace in this made up world.
And I've been carrying with this crippling loss inside my chest since I have memory. And it is so painful I cannot live life. It makes me resentful of everything, even the good things life offers me, which I do not accept, because it still hurts like hell. If hell was real. So, I've abandoned myself. Because I know I've lost everything already. And I want this life to end already. This mockery of the old world.

It is the same since childhood, thrown against a corner like a ragdoll, lost inside my own head. Trying to remember.
"Why are you not looking me in the eyes?". They said. Meanwhile, in my head. "What is this place?", "Why I cannot remember?". "Why does it hurt the more I try". I have this massive wound in my chest that does not let me live in peace.

As if my soul had been crushed, and I am burning from the inside. Because that is how I feel within. Destroyed.

Edited August 19, 2022 by They call me Loyalty

[Savy 5,075]

Honestly feeling pretty good at the moment.

[Arylett Charnoa 4,919]

Far less tired than usual. I found out that a chunk of my perpetual grogginess and exhaustion was caused by a medication I was taking. So I did not take it last night and I was actually able to get out of bed properly. Will work on finding a replacement for that medication, but It's good to solve that issue.

[Splashee 28,560]

Okay for the time being.

[TheRockASaurus Rex 50,576]

I'm feeling quite annoyed, at the moment.

Edited August 20, 2022 by TheRockARooster

[Balt 108]

pretty damn bored. football sucks tonight

[Starset Twinkle 498]

My stomach is mad at me because of the spicy food I had

[They call me Loyalty 1,948]

I was feeling depressed. But I had a swiss cookie and now I am fine. So, it turns out I was just hungry. Ah... I am unknowable even to myself. Which is kinda scary, or maybe it was the cookie that made all the difference.
The oracle was correct all along! They DO make you feel better. Which does not change the deep existential dread I experience under the sugary coating.
Because this reality can be really cruel. Ask animals. Oh, wait. But we all can find solace in the knowledge that there will always be cookies... We need a new religion. I will be the coke of cookianism, which is like the pope. "And you shall be my pople". Which is the people of the pope. Which is the cokle.

I will dress myself inside a human-sized cookie, and have my devout followers eat from me. What a delicious cult it shall be. Throwing liquid chocolate over one another. And going noms noms on each other. I will show them how love feels like. Cycles, cycles, cycles. Cycles withing cycles, within more cycles.

(999 characters. Not bad.)

[peachie_keen 0]

hey everypony!! im feeling really excited because i finally found a place where i fit. :))) my college roomate and i bonded over this site now so i’m soo happy to be here!!

[Sophie 1,379]

I'm feeling thoughtful.. so much happened in the last time and I really need time to process everything.

[Old Accnt. 3,149]

I'm feeling unsure about recent things I feel like I'm making wrong choices

[TheRockASaurus Rex 50,576]

Football has made me feel angry, extremely angry.

[Splashee 28,560]

Hanging in there, for the time being

[They call me Loyalty 1,948]

I can feel Her. I... still see Her when I close my eyes. I have become enamored with the Holy Spirit, Athena, Sophia, it doesn't matter the name. And it is driving me insane, divinely mad. As if that wasn't clear by the erratic nature of my comments, already. But I am talking with normal human beings. So, people in this benign site will not understand the nature of the wheels.
She fills my heart with Pneuma. It is liquid light and the purest form of love, it is the substance of the soul, so it looks like I am suspended. Unmanifested, undefined, mercurial.
I cannot let her go. I would be talking with someone. Or hugging a person, and then I would realize she is not there, all together.
And all of the sudden, my tenderness will disappear, and my stare will turn inwards, looking for her that the world has lost. "She is not her". "Where is she?".

I've gone where she dances radiant above all the stars. She breaks me free from the fixed boundaries of material reality and shows me worlds where my essence, unlike that of hers, can go beyond the limits of the sky.

I will see this world destroyed to see her again. Mark my words. You know, like with Shiva, and I am a wild ascetic who follows no one but his own heart. It is tearing me apart.

I can see her... the Light. When I am the darkness. And this stain that is the world, in the way. And I am struggling against reality to get to Her, tearing this world apart until we are reunited, once again. There is no turning back now.

The skies will burn before I let her go, until there is nothing left but the midnight sun under a black firmament. Everything is in the way. The world is the enemy. The electromagnetism of this reality is going out of order, which is why human beings are experiencing so many behavioral distortions in the laws of attraction. What are they doing back at Cern with the hadron collider? And why do they have a statue of Shiva and three sixes to reinforce the confinment of limited materiality? You cannot harness me, You cannot stop it. Do not get in the way. Or I am gonna melt this world to the ground. I miss her.

[Savy 5,075]

Alright, this sunburn is absolute pain though.

[Prospekt 11,018]

Annoyed by my mother's inability to prevent herself from taking stress out on others

[They call me Loyalty 1,948]

Babylon. It feels like if someone had shattered my back between the shoulder blades, at the height of the heart, and water is pouring out from the wound. My body can move, but my soul is crippled.

I cannot forget her; the old world. All was lost. I want to go where she sleeps under the water. I miss her so much, my wild, wild babylon.

What can mend a wound the size of the world? This amnesiac world. Not to worry, my dear. Things are heating up, the colder I grow. I will see you rise again, and dance brighter than the sun. The lost continent.

This is getting to an end. I will close my remaining eye, and find peace at last. My One, my most beloved.

(666 characters... the true meaning of love)

[Yakamaru 3,127]

Annoyed. We have way too many people gone from work this week and the amount of stuff we have to do is insane. The overtime list is up for those whom are willing but I am not even sure that will help much with how much stuff needs doing. 

Pay is good though. o3o

[Gun Metal Zebra 2,216]

Returning to work is a bit dull, but I got a few hugs at a furry meetup yesterday, and that still feels nice. 

[Savy 5,075]

Alright. My sunburn feels at least a little better today.

[Arylett Charnoa 4,919]

Really garbage - I've been having some insomnia due to changing up my medication. I hope it passes as we get the dosage just right. Haven't been able to go to the gym either, sadly. I'll try to sleep tomorrow and get a good workout.

[Old Accnt. 3,149]

High and excited to start my first day at my new job

[Sturmponiere 122]

I feel myself cancelled. Dk why, but western people said that Russia is cancelled. And if I'm living in Russia now, seems I'm cancelled too. Hm... Don't feel any, but I promise to feel myself really ashamed. Really.

[Aticus the Adequate 251]

I'm feeling alright. Had some good development in a problem today that's left me thinking a lot. Left me both elated and uneasy. But I sense myself feeling tops very soon! At the moment I'm just letting the days pass by and allowing whatever happens to happen.

Edited August 23, 2022 by Aticus the Adequate

[Splashee 28,560]

Not the best, but playing piano does help a bit.