What's so great about growing up? Is it inevitable?

[Silver Letter 1,832]

If I had the power to be granted a wish to revert back to childhood, keeping the memories and knowledge I have now and perhaps staying as one indefinitely then I probably would.

[aoEAF2FBvC0MIo2Q 3,673]

Hm... I myself am one week away from turning 24 and though it does pain me to say it, it's only now that I'm really coming to terms with becoming an adult.

 

The thing is, despite a few bumps in the road, I've had it pretty good. I took it pretty slow when it came to my education as I went through middle school, high school and onto advanced placement which I finally graduated in the summer of 2010. Technically, I've already gotten the qualifications for this very same college and study I'm going (BA in electrical engineering) since I finished high school back in 2008 but was indecisive about what direction to take at the time. That was partly out of laziness but also out of fear. I was very fearful the idea of going through such a drastic change in lifestyle that would come with studying abroad and that's how and why I kept postponing it for as long as I did.

 

I've been struggling here a whole lot. The material isn't that hard, it's my state of mind that really gets in the way of things. I'll get to the meat of things by saying this; in the past three and a half years now, I had unknowingly been going through the five stages of grief and had been going in and out of certain stages. It started with denial, of course, thinking I could just derp on the computer with video games and internet all day and not have to worry about anything. That got me to grow increasingly isolated. Having epilepsy and taking meds for it gave me an exploitable excuse not to go drinking or "party" and inevitably, loneliness hit. As my spirits sank, so did my grades. 

 

I think that's when the anger stage followed. That is, being angry at myself. That anger is partly what got myself to slave myself. I would study or do homework for 4 hours a day without breaks in between. Even on weekends. Burn-outs became frequent but because it was showing some result, I kept at it until I had simply gotten incapacitated. Studying became hard, I hadn't been taking good care of myself and my student performance tanked.

 

Well, working myself to death didn't work. This is where I felt lost... I think this is where the bargaining stage rolls in. I had been thinking that the reason I'm feeling so low and my addictions out of control is because of certain things that happened in my past that are traumatizing which I myself could reasonably argue that it's what created that emptiness inside.  That emptiness became my focus. I think this is where I've been letting my brony-involvement and internet addiction really get the better of me. The idea having been that I'm still very much dependent and that I need to have people's attention and approval to fill that emptiness. Approval from bronies and brony friends over the internet, that is. Even back when on that other pony forums where I was treated with borderline reverence, well... flattering as it was, it wasn't really doing enough. Openness, vulnerability, optimism coupled with smarts and caring for the hurt and needy, trying my best to help create a nurturing environment for everyone did get many to look up to me at the time and a number still do. However, it still wasn't enough... That emptiness lingered. The whole idea having been that if that emptiness could be filled, my addiction problem would be under control. In retrospect, that was a very stupid idea as that was like trying to combat a heroin addiction by dulling the inner pain with a substitute.

 

I've been going back and forth between the bargaining stage and the depression stage. I would lose heart, fall into despair, try something a little different only to sink again. So strong was the despair becoming that even my body was beginning to weaken. People keep telling me I've lost weight and my sleeping patterns became very out of whack, causing me to miss classes more often. If something doesn't get done then despair is going to keep consuming me until there's nothing left.

 

It could be that I know now that I really haven't accepted that I can no longer live my life as I've lived it in the past. Things have changed and I need to accept that it has and not be so fearful about it. It's time I embraced this new chapter in my life.

 

So yeah, growing up is something I have to do in the sense of adjusting to a new way of life to better my own life as well as those around me.

[Cygnus 60]

I'm in my early twenties, and I think the best part about growing up is seeing what you began in your younger years grow, too. If you started writing at age 8 and keep going, then by age 30 you'll have a huge archive of works filled with memories and quite possibly the skill to be published or gain a following. This applies to pretty much all skills, and even friendships and familial relationships age like fine wine whether or not they're as close as they were when you were young.

 

I believe history always trumps novelty and gives you things you can't get elsewhere. I can never simply go out and find a new friendship with all the complexity of my old ones; I'd have to wait years or even a decade.

Edited December 7, 2013 by Cygnus

[Just_Because 25]

Just be an individual. It's that simple. You don't have to "grow up." You can be "childish." Or you can be neither. Just do whatever feels right for you. It's ultimately your life, and only you know the kind of life that works for you.

 

As for drugs and alcohol, that's just a personal choice imo. I don't like alcohol all that much, but I do like psychedelics since they've had a really positive effect on my life and have helped me with my depression and borderline personality disorder. Make the choices for yourself. Again, it's your life, and only yours.

[USMCav8r 105]

I'll tell you, being older is not as fun as childhood, but you have larger opportunities and new interests and experiences. For example, I am an aviator for the USMC. As a child I always dreamed of flying, but my fantasies as as young ma'am cannot compare with flinging myself through the sky at twice the speed of sound. Maturity brings on many challenges, but there are many rewards. Besides, what is the measure of an adult? I say it is all in how one composes him/herself in the face of these challenges.

[Malinter 3,064]

Don't let other people's ideals on what they expect you to be get you down. The whole 'meaning of life' crap is pretty depressing if your the kind of person who couldn't find a direction in life when you were young,

[Arylett Charnoa 4,919]

What, are you kidding me? Growing up is awesome.

 

I'm always one of the few people who thinks this. But nostalgia doesn't have as much of a hold on me as it does on others... okay, I'm lying. It has a huge hold on me. But I'm able to ignore it as just being skewed memories and emotionally pointless drivel. What good does it do me to look back to the past as a paragon of these so-called "Golden Days"? Whenever I think back to my childhood and remember a good memory... no, scratch that. It's hard for me to even remember a good memory from that horrid time. The only good memories I CAN recall are... well, general feelings of feel-good nostalgia that aren't legitimate memories.

 

My opinion is skewed from others, this is true. During my childhood, I was consistently mentally unstable and too anxious/young to understand why. My feelings controlled me, not the other way around. There was scant little I could do about that. Didn't have the maturity to control them. 

 

Now, I may only be 21... and just having started my foray into the "true" adult world. It is stressful to work and go to college at the same time, but the best part about all of this growing up nonsense is... I can do it whatever way I want. I make my own choices. Why? Because I'm not alone. I have support. Emotionally and financially, and not just from my parents, but from someone who I believe is my life partner. With the proper support/luck, you CAN let your dreams happen and don't have to give them up. You just have to work hard.

 

I just wonder why people let these nostalgic emotions control them, why they think that you just suddenly turn into a mindless drone after childhood just because you have to work to earn a paycheck. So what? You had to go to school before, and wasted FAR more of your free time than at a job what with homework in addition to going to school like a full-time job. And not only that, but as a child, you're probably more of a mindless drone as your emotions and mind aren't fully developed. I know I was. I didn't have any ability to think for myself or outside of those horrid emotions. Now I do, and now I'm much happier.

 

But actually, I think I can think of the reason. The reason is that growing up to many appears to entail opening your eyes to reality, seeing that your outlandish dreams from childhood are most likely unfeasible. That the time where ANYTHING seemed possible is no longer existent. And people don't like losing that. It's just I can't really empathize with it, because as a child, I felt literally powerless to do anything. I felt as if everything was IMPOSSIBLE, everything was just this huge obstacle because I was constantly put down that way. Adults telling me left and right that growing up sucks, yadda yada, and you can't do this. You can't do that. "You're not mature enough, just let me do this for you." I think that's why I'm not daunted or phased by the responsibilities. Sure, I'm scared that I might not be good enough to do them, that I might fail. But I WANT to do them, because... I want to do SOMETHING. My entire life has just been full of so much inaction that I find responsibility to be simultaneously a scary burden, but also fascinating. Actually being responsible for something and succeeding at it... it feels good. Even if it's one of the disadvantages of adulthood that everyone appears to dislike.

 

And to me... well, becoming an adult is opening my eyes to what IS possible. To a whole new world of possibilities I could never even imagine. I think that's the difference right there. Other children had these high expectations for when they got older, and they were crushed. I can understand that. But I... I had nothing. And now, it's just nice to know that simple things I thought were so difficult are possible. I don't take it for granted. Don't take going to college or actually having obtained a job for granted. Sometimes I don't want to go, and sometimes I do have negative feelings about the whole experience (basically due to the fact that I spent two years doing absolutely nothing, which made me accustomed to loads of free time, not really due to missing childhood), but I was the same during childhood with normal school. 

 

What my point is in this long post: growing up is what you make of it, and depends highly upon your life circumstances. Some people will get caught in dead end jobs and never be able to follow their dreams. I can understand why those people miss the days of childhood. Hell, they'd miss anything that looks remotely positive. Others? Others have this stupid idea that growing up is such a big horrible thing and blah blah, you're losing your innocence when you grow up hammered into our heads by society, when really, it's not so bad.

 

You don't have to be a mindless drone if you can avoid it. There's so many possibilities in this world that CAN be done even if the circumstances are a bit skewed. (Though I acknowledge sometimes the circumstances are hopeless, and I feel for those people) It takes effort, it takes a damn load of determination and hope, and it takes the right mindset. I know no matter how old I get, I'll never lose that which makes me me, and perhaps... that which makes me less of a stereotypical "grown up": a childish naivety and wonder for things that are possible, and an imagination and creativity that is full of endless ideas. My fantastical worlds that my imagination keeps concocting are what keep me going. All those things are what keep me up and at it in spite of the majority of my life being full of unhappiness.

 

This world might not be ideal, and I'd sure as hell rather live in a world full of magic powers and all that, but not as a child. But as an adult who is not "growing up" as it negatively entails, but rather awakening and opening her eyes to everything.

 

So if you mean that growing up, as in physically aging is inevitable, yes, yes it is. Does it have to suck? No, no it doesn't if you're not unlucky. And is it inevitable in the mental sense? Not in the way that is typically thought. You can still like all the same things you did as a child, you just have more experience and a more developed brain. The core personality remains within most of us though. Therefore, I'd prefer to call it "maturing." 

 

Basically: just do whatever feels right for you if it's possible and have the right attitude. Don't let other peoples' expectations (or even your own) about adulthood get you down. Then it doesn't have to suck. :3

 

Lastly, I feel this long post warrants an ending with a quote from Walt Disney you probably have seen:

 

"You're dead if you aim only for kids. Adults are only kids grown up, anyway."

[Frosty Flurry 173]

wow. WOW. I'm 13. I can't even comment on this subject. I don't think growing up is great. It's mainly the moodswings and realising school is not about playing. It's exams and work. But i still got alot ahead of me and i'm eenjoying as much as i can of not being a grown up.

[RainbowGlitter 13]

Grow up? nah I just changed and learned more

 

I still have a lot of childish traits even though I am legally an adult now and I am pretty sure that won't be changing. I embrace both "childish" and "adult" traits because they makeup who I am. 

 

 

 

I can do it whatever way I want. I make my own choices. Why? Because I'm not alone. I have support. Emotionally and financially, and not just from my parents, but from someone who I believe is my life partner. With the proper support/luck, you CAN let your dreams happen and don't have to give them up. You just have to work hard.

I am jealous lol, my life is in shambles and I feel like I have barely any personal choices.

[Gone Airbourne 21,977]

Im 20 and yeah things do change as you get older. Responsibility and priority are the most important things for certain.

 

But here is how I see it life is short enjoy your life and make it the way *you* want. That is success in my eyes not having a lot of money but to be happy with were you are in life. 

[Doctor XFizzle 8,669]

I'm 24 and growing up is what you make of it. There's a balancing act to be had between holding onto your social/teen side and fulfilling responsibilities as your adult side. You can keep partying and living the life but eventually reality is gonna set in and HARD. You can be an adult quick and be serious about your life but then you can miss out on some fun. There's a middle ground to find. 

 

It is cool to have expanded freedom and decision making and responsibility can be cool too. I enjoy things more because I worked to earn money to purchase them. Occasionally I look back to my college days because they were really fun, but overall I like where I'm at and soon my mind is going to turn towards establishing my future between finding work in the right career, finding a wife to live my life with, and eventually having kids.