Ask Princess Trollestia

[Batbrony 16,054]

Prince Blueblood: whens our wedding?

 

Let's see, how 'bout 2:00 next week on... NEVER!!!    Now go pester Luna or something, sheesh. 

 

What do you think of your alternate dimension male counterpart, Prince Trollaris?

 

 

 

...

 

...

 

...

 

Oh me oh my, I like what I see.  LUNA, FETCH ME MY SEXY DRESS!!!  I have finally discovered a stallion worthy of the royal flank, and must look my best!  Our frenzied and passionate love will make mountains crumble, rivers dry up, and be sung of by bards for ages to come!!!  Ah, there's my sexy dress!!!

 

 

Farewell everypony, I'm off to get laid!  Tata!!! 

 

But it's true! They are WAY better, I don't care what you say to me!

 

[Rainbow Recon 36]

What the buck? Eh, oh, your becoming your molesting self to that alternate you.... You don't realize, it's just you as a stallion? So ur really gettin laid by ur self...think about it...then come back to me.

[Batbrony 16,054]

What the buck? Eh, oh, your becoming your molesting self to that alternate you.... You don't realize, it's just you as a stallion? So ur really gettin laid by ur self...think about it...then come back to me.

 

As you should very well know about me by now, I don't care!  Princess does what she wants, when she wants, how she wants, and whoever she wants (zing!) peon!!! 

 

Edited March 11, 2013 by Batbrony

[Rainbow Recon 36]

GOD RID THIS DEMON OFF CELESTIA!!

[Batbrony 16,054]

GOD RID THIS DEMON OFF CELESTIA!!

 

Filly Twilight used holy power...

 

 

 

 

 

,..it's not very effective. 

[Rainbow Recon 36]

Okay, we'll then,... Why are you the princess, your molestiness--I mean highness?

Edited March 12, 2013 by Rainbow Recon

[Batbrony 16,054]

Okay, we'll then,... Why are you the princess, your molestiness--I mean highness?

 

I keep telling you, I'm her royal trollness, hence the name Trollestia!   Molestia only comes around when I'm hammered drunk or high as a kite.  Honestly, sometimes it's like I'm talking to a brick wall. 

Edited March 12, 2013 by Batbrony

[Demonic Soulz 483]

Did you change Twilight into a princess just to troll us or did that back fire???

[Batbrony 16,054]

Did you change Twilight into a princess just to troll us or did that back fire???

 

Basically... as I said earlier, I was bored, so I thought, "Hey, why the buck not?  Should be good for a few kicks and giggles."

 

 

 Unfortunately, much as I hate to admit it, it has kinda backfired.  Don't get me wrong, your misery was priceless and I absolutely loved every minute of it, but... Twilight's a little bit full of herself now and, if it can be believed, even more annoying than before!  That and I wasn't exactly thinking things through when I decreed her the "Twilight Princess", because, frankly, NOPONY KNOWS WHEN TWILIGHT IS AT AND IT LASTS FOR ABOUT 5 MINUTES!!!    Kinda pointless to have a princess fora 5 minute period of the day.  So now everypony in the Canterlot Court is b*tching and moaning about how "This was a pointless and stupid decision" and Twilight keeps trying to come up with ways to legitimize her position; last week she proposed being princess of Mondays, MONDAYS FOR BUCKS SAKE!!!   I LIKE MONDAYS, OK, IT'S THE MOST MISERABLE DAY OF THE WEEK FOR EVERYPONY, ERGO, MY FAVORITE DAY OF THE WEEK TO TROLL PONIES!!!    SO BUCK NO, SHE AIN'T GETTING MONDAYS!!!!!!!!  

 

 

Oh gosh, I need a drink... LUNA, CALL UP BERRY PUNCH, WE'RE GOING BARHOPPING!!!!!

 

Later everypony, I need alcohol bad... oh sweet, it's karaoke night!!! 

 

Edited March 13, 2013 by Batbrony

[Rainbow Recon 36]

Why are you princess?!?!

[Doctor Shuu 797]

What is your favorite form of alcohol?

[Batbrony 16,054]

Why are you princess?!?!

 

Who's the pony with the sun on her butt that can raise the sun?  THIS PONY!!! 

 

What is your favorite form of alcohol?

 

Let's consult the chart! 

 

 

Oh buck it, they're all my favorite!!! 

Edited March 13, 2013 by Batbrony

[Demonic Soulz 483]

You drink a lot do you???

[Rainbow Recon 36]

Luna could raise both, you guys are sisters with the same powers and limitations, but me and you both know that what I just stated IS entirely true

[100 beasts kaidou 321]

Did you meet someone called Tirek or Grogar?

[Doctor Shuu 797]

 

Let's consult the chart!

Oh buck it, they're all my favorite!!!

Says that your drink is super girly. *Barely holds in laughter*

[Batbrony 16,054]

You drink a lot do you???

 

Eeyup. 

 

Luna could raise both, you guys are sisters with the same powers and limitations, but me and you both know that what I just stated IS entirely true

 

 

Did you meet someone called Tirek or Grogar?

 

...

 

Maybe. 

 

OK fine, they were part of my Canterlot posse in the 80's, and why not, they were bucking good partiers!!!  Actually, the weird thing is, we mostly played board games when we hung out together.

 

 

Ah, Candy Land.    Actually, that's why I stopped hanging out with them, because, well, let's just say game nights could get... violent. 

 

 

I won't confirm or deny this, but... Canterlot may or may not have almost gotten burnt to the ground as a result of a particularly heated round of Candy Land... BUT IT WAS TOTALLY TIREK'S FAULT!!! 

 

Says that your drink is super girly. *Barely holds in laughter*

 

 

And just what, may I ask, is so funny about the PRINCESS'S drink being super girly; I am after all the sexiest mare in all the land, so I wouldn't expect otherwise. 

 

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm expecting some male... make that males. 

 

[Demonic Soulz 483]

You do know Applejack is already an alcoholic drink....it has a strong bitter apple taste i heard

[Batbrony 16,054]

You do know Applejack is already an alcoholic drink....it has a strong bitter apple taste i heard

 

That, and the last time I had some ("some" being a, well, relative term ), I blacked out and went around (according to Luna) comparing my horn size to everypony else's.

 

 

I woke up in a public fountain 12 hours later with a tattoo of the moon on my flank, a crap ton of bonbons for some strange reason, and a chicken named Bob (don't ask me how I know, just trust me, his name was Bob ).  All in all, it was a fun night! 

[Demonic Soulz 483]

Another question...will you hate me if i say i like mondays????

[Batbrony 16,054]

Another question...will you hate me if i say i like mondays????

 

Let me consult my advisor; whaddya think AJ?

 

 

The expert has spoken!!!  There is your answer. 

[100 beasts kaidou 321]

Lets make out

[Rainbow Recon 36]

You drink the mane 6??? I thought you only trolled and molested and...yea!

[Doctor Shuu 797]

How can you be both a princess and highest authority in Equestria? If Blueblood is both a prince, and your nephew, does that mean that he's Luna's son? If that's the case, with Luna also being a princess, does this mean that Blueblood was born out of wedlock?

[Batbrony 16,054]

Lets make out

 

 

Ummm, AJ?

 

 

YOU HEARD THE EXPERT!  NOW BEGONE!!! 

 

You drink the mane 6??? I thought you only trolled and molested and...yea!

 

 

 

Princess does whatever Princess want to do!!! 

 

How can you be both a princess and highest authority in Equestria? If Blueblood is both a prince, and your nephew, does that mean that he's Luna's son? If that's the case, with Luna also being a princess, does this mean that Blueblood was born out of wedlock?

 

 Well, aren't you just full of questions today.  Ah well, let's get this over with.

 

1) See above response to Rainbow Recon.

 

2) Blueblood's a very distant nephew, as in, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very...

 

*2 hours later*

 

...very, very, very, very, very, very, very distant nephew.  I mean, do the math, he was clearly born before Luna came back, so yeah, no way he's her own filly (even I'd never insult her by making that kind of assertion! ).

 

3) I don't know the circumstances surrounding that little turd's birth, but I highly doubt he was born out of wedlock.  His parents have always been snot-nosed Canterlot nobility, and knowing how stuck up they can be, I doubt either of them would've done something like have a colt out of wedlock.  He's essentially them with double the douchiness, so no doubt in my mind that he's the spawn of their putrid loins.  Bleh!

 

 

Douche: know one when you see one.  It may just save your life. 

 

This has been another daily dosage of wisdom from your Princess, Trollestia. 

 

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...

 

 OK, that's enough wisdom for the day, time to get hammered.