which is better? Being single or not?

[Doc. Volt 2,561]

i have been in a relationship for 4 years and half.. once go love you never come back.. being single is awfull... being with someone is aways better

[Malinter 3,064]

I want to meet someone.

 

being single is confusing because sometimes i like being single and sometimes I don't >_<

[NightOwl 912]

It really depends on the person, for me I'm pretty introverted so I don't mind being single but that doesn't mean I don't want to be in a relationship there are benefits of both sides in my opinion.  

[Discordian 6,015]

I can add nothing to this topic but Imma say it anyway:

 

Neither side is better as an idea but it will differ from person to person and by situation. I would say it's not exactly a good idea to be in a relationship just to be in a relationship. If you're single and feel the need to be in one so bad that you would date anyone who's even half decent you might be setting yourself up for failure. I've heard of people who try so hard to be in a relationship they'd even date someone they didn't particularly like in the hopes it'll work out. Baaaad juju if you ask me.

 

Then there's people like me who would want a relationship eventually but don't particularly believe it'll ever happen. I don't talk to people enough. I've pretty much accepted that I'll be alone the rest of my life. It's not even about whether I'm ready for a relationship or not, I don't understand the inbetween that makes the change between friendship and lover.

Edited March 3, 2014 by Discordian

[Flutter's lover <3 8,206]

I hate being single, but I"M too damned introverted and shy to talk to other people. I'd love to have a boyfriend.I just don't see it happening anytime soon.

[Revertz 159]

Just came out of a stressful hateful relationship where my ex convinced me she was pregnant with my baby to keep me with her thank god for DNA tests. single for ever bitches!

[Skylar 1,641]

I have a girlfriend at the moment, and while things might seem harder to keep up with than when you are single, the moments you spend with someone you ACTUALLY love feel like everything is worth it! I know that's cheesy but is just the way it works for me.

 

I know exactly what you mean and agree with you totally  

 

In the past before I had a relationship (which ended sadly )  I was one of the types who said I never need a girlfriend / partner or that I would never love anyone, but when I did fall in love it made the world of difference, even when that person wasn't there all I had to do was think of her to make my day 100 times better (sorry for the cheese) xD 

[Nerdy Luigi 2,065]

Well, as one of the members here that is in a relationship (doesn't everyone already know about this...) I think it's great to be in one. When I'm in a depressed time, it's nice to know that someone will love you, almost no matter what. Even though I'm an EXTREMELY introverted person, I very much have the capacity to love a person, but I don't have the capacity to love most everyone else.

[Zekromic 1,054]

Can't tell, I've never been in a relationship before, thought, what I'm sure most of you agree with, don't be in a relationship without a bond existing between both parties

[Polaris 224]

I used to be in a relationship with girl in the past, but it didn't really get anywhere. While being single has many perks no doubt, I'd still prefer to be with somebody in the end of the day!

[BayoUni2847 528]

I got out of a relationship around October where my ex girlfriend tried to be extremely controlling of everything in my life and I got fed up with it.

 

Thus I am single and happy.

[Untitled Goose Q 5,137]

I have been in a relationship a couple of times, and it was enjoyable, however I'm currently single, and happy that way.

 

If a relationship happens, it happens, and I'll roll with it.

[Creamy Arty 6,252]

Not everyone wants the same things out of life, making this very subjective. For me, I've enjoyed being single more than being in a relationship. It's been some time since I've been in one, and I honestly don't miss it at all, from the emotional support (or baggage, whatever one's case may be) to the sex and anything else. Everything I want anymore is fulfilled through my ordinary friends and the pursuit of my own interests.

 

Admittedly, past experiences of my own as well as some terrible things I had to endure through my parents as a kid have played no small part in this. At any rate, I'm perfectly content with what I currently have and am on my own.

[Mr F 1,522]

Meh I have never been in a relationship, not looking for one either. Though I beleve some people need it more than others, some of my friends are generally happier when they are in one. Come on, I am 15 I have all the time in the world to find the right one. xD

Besides because I am single, I have no limits to what I can do.   (Game addict 5 evar!)

 

Just came out of a stressful hateful relationship where my ex convinced me she was pregnant with my baby to keep me with her thank god for DNA tests. single for ever bitches!

I laughed a bit too hard on this one. xD

Edited March 3, 2014 by A CrayZ Cat

[deadprofile 1,122]

Well, it depends on what you mean by NOT being single.

 

I am married, so I have different take on what a relationship entails compared to those who are dating.  Age is a big factor. Many teens who are dating are not mature enough to even begin to fathom the responsibilities and choices required in a real relationship that is marriage. Many people who are dating often fall into believing dating stereotypes of what you should and should not do while dating, and none of this applies to dating with the prospect of getting married (i.e. none of that stuff matters, and if you make it matter, you're relationship is more likely to fail). Many people date with selfish intentions, whether it be social status, peer pressure, or just wanting someone to wait on you hand and foot. 

Looking back, dating in high school is for the most part, a stupid drama where no one wins and everyone gets hurt. Very few good relationships come out of dating in high school, and even fewer of those end in marriage by choice (not by pregnancy or other means in which couples feel obligated to get married).

I only dated one guy back in high school. It was a 4 year relationship going into college. But I matured and he did not, so it was the wisest decision to end it, with the personal view of not wanting to date while in college and just waiting in general. That did not come to pass because the man who became my best friend is now my husband. AND we never dated, at all. We were best friends and decided to get married. With that, we had about 9 month engagement before our wedding. It's been 3 years and we have only grown closer with time. Being married is wonderful, but many here on this forum will not understand the joys and potential perils of marriage because many are just dating.

 

A word to those who are dating. If I was to give one bit of advise to help ensure relationships last and grow in a positive way, it would be, "do not be selfish." 

 

Selfishness is the downfall of ALL relationships.  It doesn't take looking at statistics to see this is the case. Many of you will be told communication is the key to a successful relationship, and I believe that is the second most important thing to keep in mind when trying to make a relationship work. But, if you have selfish intentions (or your partner does), no amount of communication (or lack thereof) can alter someone's perception upon you (or you to them), because if there is selfishness, there is a lack of respect. A lack of respect means that selfish intentions will never truly come to light in your communication because it is manipulation and twisted in how it comes out. Now that doesn't mean all selfish relationships will fail, it just means that it's uphill battle until the selfish party stops being selfish, and we as humans are inherently selfish. We have to consciously put aside such selfishness everyday for the person we love in order to help them flourish and grow in their dreams and endeavors, which in turn gives us meaning and a sense of being wanted within that relationship.

Love, at its core, should be reciprocal, and if it isn't, nothing good will come out of it. Plus, love is not just a feeling. At first it may be, and most often is, but soon enough, that feeling will go away. A lot of divorces/breakups you may hear of involve one person saying, "I just don't love so-and-so anymore." That is not only a selfish statement, but also shows that person was never invested in the other to begin with beyond the initial "feeling". Love is a choice, a choice you must make everyday. Some days will be extremely hard to do (especially if they make bad decisions or are perpetually depressed, sick, or something small like not closing the toilet lid which is your worst peeve) , and other days your heart overflows with compassion and desire for the one you love. But, it all comes down to a choice, and it's not a choice anyone should take lightly, because the well being of the person they "love" is always at stake. That's why, if we want to really love someone, we should put aside our own selfishness to ensure the person we love will always be loved, and will never have any reason to doubt that they are loved.

 

It's a lot to weigh on, if you look at wanting a proper relationship. Thus being single can be the longest breath of fresh air for those who are not ready to take on such responsibilities. Being single isn't a bad thing at all, and has its own merits including freedom and the lack of a potentially broken heart. Having just friends around you is always good boosting moral and having an outlet to just have fun and enjoy life in. Marriage doesn't get rid of that, but it does complicate things when you invest your time and energy into adjusting how you spend your time and who you spend it with.

For me, it's hard to relate to my friends who aren't married, and it's also hard for me to relate to friends who are married but have children. I just can't have the same amount of fun and enjoyment with these friends because their investments lie elsewhere. 

 

So yeah....being married is way better than being single.  Dating...it's hit or miss depending on HOW you invest in your relationship, but for the most part (taking the majority stance), it's not very good compared to being single.

Edited March 3, 2014 by Treble Bolt

[Castle Bleck 19,377]

Single; save money, save your sanity.

[Crispy 5,563]

Working 68 hour weeks on third shift currently.  Too damn busy for a girlfriend right now, I wouldn't be able to be around for her all that much.

 

That said, I'd prefer to not be single.  

[Khaoios 1,970]

Being single............sucks.   As I guy, I want a girl I can be with. Especially now, when I just broke up with one as of yesterday.

[carlthehorse 6]

I agree that both have benefits. For now while working a full time and a part time job I enjoy being single, but there are times I wish I did have a special someone

[Tigerpop198 696]

I'd rather be single. It seems like having a special somebody, would be very distracting. That's something I'll leave to the later years.

[Revertz 159]

Meh I have never been in a relationship, not looking for one either. Though I beleve some people need it more than others, some of my friends are generally happier when they are in one. Come on, I am 15 I have all the time in the world to find the right one. xD

Besides because I am single, I have no limits to what I can do.   (Game addict 5 evar!)

 

I laughed a bit too hard on this one. xD

Who needs girls when you have games we are the enlighten. haha 

[Clockwork Chaos 219]

Not. I hate being single. While I'm not the type who would have a girlfriend just for the sake of having one (meaning I'm not going to start a relationship with someone who is awful, just to be in a relationship), I am extremely unhappy alone. Besides the obvious enjoyment from being loved and cared about, I also really miss caring about someone. I like having someone to love, someone I can make happy just by being around. I don't generally use the term "single", I think of it more as being alone. 

That really isn't how you should look at it though dude- i used to think the same and i was a really unhappy person, but when i learned that i didn't need someone else in my life to make me feel complete, i got a lot happier.

 

of course i'd rather be in a relationship than single, i don't think anyone would argue "nah, i don't wanna be in love" but hell, being single is fun too- you can do what you want, when you want, all your life just falls under what you want to do.

 

girls like guys who are happy and confident in themselves anyway, so counter-intuitively as soon as you're happy being alone, you'll meet someone new that's just how it works out.

[Zhortac 1,474]

Its hard to say.

 

On one hand, I like the freedom I have to do what I want, without worrying about remembering someone else.

 

On the other hand, I miss having someone I can talk too and connect with.

[~Silver Essence~ 2,625]

Neither, but depending.

 

If you like yourself, friends, and can get along well, you don't need the special someone, the people you know are all you need.

 

And if you need a special someone who's like the best friend you never had as well as treating you as your one true soulmate? Then you go with someone if possible.

 

Either way, depends, I prefer to be single, but sometimes, a special someone sounds nice.

[Appleloosa 90]

alllllllllllllllllll in perspective based on current situations. neither can be called "better." after I was done with a few month relationship couple years back, I has happy as can be to be single. at the moment, Im currently really looking for a relationship with someone who I very much like. So in the past: single. Right now: Relationship. Thats just me though.