Thuja

Random person: So, what do you want for christmas? Me: *Slides them a Canadian Tire ad with many different things circled* Me: You know what do. *winks* *opening presents weeks later* Me *Present reveals some random thing*: What is it? Random person: Yeah *chuckles* I didn't know what to get you, you're so hard to shop for! I swear this has become a holiday tradition for my family with me, apparently I'm hard to shop for even though I normally share my wishlists with people. I never get what I want *grumbles*, the holidays aren't about presents though but they can make the holidays a bit better(or worse, like mostly every year). Just something I was thinking about since I don't think I'll be with my family again for the holidays.

"Ugh, did I sleep in again? What time is it? I bet it's noon, again..." "You mean, I haven't died in my sleep yet? Darn..."

​I really want a burger and some poutine right now or maybe some regular fries with a little bit of old bay mixed in.

I have three, one on my leg and two on my head. I don't know what the two on my head look like anymore because I haven't shaved my head but the one on my leg is a white-ish patch.

I don't like the snow, I really don't like the ice that comes with the snow either.

I guess pokemon(since pokemon yellow) and Dragon Age(since Origins). Adding some more, Star Trek and of course Kinnikuman Nisei(or Ultimate Muscle in the english dub).

Last thing I had to drink was tap water, tasted funny so I don't think I'll be drinking anymore of it today.

I want to draw but I know I'll never get around to it... I'm in one of those "I want to try belly dancing" phases again lol. It would appear that there's classes for it close by. I'm. So. Tempted. You know what? I'll give it some thought and try to find where this place is and give them a call. I wanted to try getting fit in the first place, this sounds both interesting and fun and I would be stupid to let this chance go by...

​See, this is why I think more people should learn to make their own clothing, you can make your clothing any colour you want(or that's available)! I really want to learn how to make my own clothing but I can't afford the machine I want ...

​I don't know, I guess it would depend on who I was with at the time. Can't really give a direct answer.

I had alfredo, I probably should stop eating so much of it but I've gotten in the habit of eating it. Now that I can eat whatever I want again, what's stopping me from eating a chicken BLT from A&W? Just a short walk away...

Listening to The Neon Demon ost and still feeling blah.

The game that I was most recently playing was Subnautica. An interesting game to say the least but recently, I haven't really been playing any games. I was considering replaying the Dragon Age series on my pc(which means I have to re-buy everything) but I don't know.

If I was a beverage, I'd probably be a smooth cup of coffee with some white chocolate raspberry creamer in it. If I was food, I'd be a bbq chicken pizza with some pineapple on it.

I really like makeup, cooking and crafts like sewing and crochet. I wish I had more confidence to wear makeup, even if it's just eyeliner, out of the house.

I'm pre-T but I'll give this a go. 1. Do you get treated differently by others since you changed genders? (If so, in mostly positive or negative way?) Sometimes but I'm mostly around people(like social workers) that are normally supportive. My family has disowned me and still treats me like a girl on FB. The worst I got was being called a lesbian for my short hair(even though I'm a guy) 2. Have you ever regretted your choice? (Please explain why or why not) The only thing I regret is not knowing or understanding what LGBT+ was before hand. My family tended to keep my brother and I sheltered so most things I had to figure out for myself. Didn't even know what gay meant until I was in my late teens(probably 16? So I guess mid-teens??), to give you an idea how sheltered I was growing up. I regret the most not transitioning when I was younger, it would have saved me years of depression and the such. 3. Has there been any drastic lifestyle changes for you once you swapped genders? Well, I do have to think about my safety what with the "trump affect" effecting Canada a bit. I live in a small town where most people know each other either through some event or through another person. Some things I have to think about, for example, is: "If I join the gym, will they let me use the men's locker room? Will it be safe to use the locker room? Will I be attacked?" It's more of thinking of how others will react to me, you know? 4. How is your romantic life? Do you find it hard to date? I've always had a crappy romantic life so not much has changed since then but I do worry that the person that I'm attracted to will be grossed out with my trans-ness. I haven't tried dating to see how it goes because I really have no attraction to anyone right now. 5. What was it like during your first few days of conversion? I still haven't started T yet but I hope to soon. 6. What was the biggest positive and negative for you? The biggest positive has been realizing why I've been so depressed for a while. I've been having issues with depression since I was 13, I think? So in total 12 years? This might not be related to being trans but I do feel freer to explore who I am than I've ever had before, maybe it's because I don't have my mom breathing down my neck all the time but it's nice, whatever started that feeling. The only negatives I can think of are having to worry more about my safety than ever before and my family disowning me because I'm trans(my mom would probably say that I bullied her but I didn't and besides, that's not really a good excuse to disown your own kid). 7. How and or, when did you know that swapping your gender was the right choice to make? (was it also difficult to make that decision?) Maybe some time last year? Maybe January? The more I looked into what transgender meant, the more things were making sense to me. At first I was scared to talk about it but I did start talking to certain people about it which has lead me to this point in my life. I came out to my mom in February of this year.

Pretty much all of them? I would say math but each school I went to made me take the same class over and over again so I pretty much had an easy time with math... It was not doing homework or doing well on tests/quizzes that kept my grades low.

I bought(much needed) groceries, I was pretty much at the point of wandering around my kitchen wondering what I should make even though I only had condiments and some spices...

I'm feeling pretty blah right now, like nothing really matters and has no point.

I'm shocked no one mentioned Venture Bros.! I highly suggest that show, very hilarious. Full of old school nerdy references.

I'm on disability right now, I wish I had a job or at least a post-secondary education. I feel useless right now.

I use pronamel and sometimes I'll use charcoal toothpaste.

I have an ipad mini 3 and some small wacom thing for drawing even though I don't really use it anymore.

​Hummus sandwich, it wasn't much but it should hold me over until dinner.

I think I'm slowly sinking in solavellan(dragon age inquisition ship) hell, I'm already making alternative modern AUs where they have kids...