Raskolnikov

Um, considering just the question makes me uneasy I'll go with "noooooooooooo"... I'm far easier with data because it feels more impersonal. I'd say it has to do with not wanting my stuff being perceived by others ever ever EVER but even when it's just me perceiving it I may or may not want to burn down something I make within 10 mins with extreme prejudice, my inner critic is too much for all that stress lol. Maybe if you took me 469375375 km away from all people and society and I was completely and utterly alone for like 5 years... Oh, and the hypophantasia doesn't really help on the visual imagination front. I struggle with being creative even when just reading and trying to imagine other people's work in stories >_>" so it's not necessarily just nerves when making things... my mind just doesn't seem wired for it anymore ATM.

I was wondering if it had to do with the Debate Pit I don't imagine there's a way to disable reactions exclusively in the Soapbox, but in any case there's not quite so much traffic in there anymore so maybe it'll be okay now in terms of drama? I do agree it'd be nice for there to be a staff reconsideration of this depending on how stable things are on their end right now... Maybe add it as a reward for the current event LMFAO "if y'all can behave and prove you can be niceys to each other you can have treats" KIDDING I'M KIDDING I'M KIDDING I

Huh, handmade? Maybe a site like Etsy would be better fit for something like that, I've heard Etsy has been a pain to artists/shops on its platform recently (not looked into it yet tbh) but I'd recommend it as a lot of people into alternative fashion etc use it to shop. It's my go-to site for handcrafted stuff, patches, etc.

Kinda feel the need to go out and be alone somewhere.

That does suck, I did note there were no 'negative' ones like 'angry' which I assumed weren't there to avoid this kinda problem but I had no idea people were abusing the shrug and laugh ones before... It didn't even cross my mind you could weaponise a shrug response?! whaaat lol How long ago was this? Because I can't imagine people here doing this anymore o_o", I feel like resolving problems on a case by case basis sounds better than penalising everyone because of a few past misbehavers, though I may simply just be ignorant on the magnitude of the problem in the past... I do agree some reactions like angry ones would have too much potential for abuse and would be a bad idea but doing it to neutral ones kinda sucks :< I don't know how others feel about this though?

Your River by My Dying Bride.

On that note, I've found myself wanting a "thinking" or "shrug" reaction too. Maybe with the new smilies coming around soon we could use some of them for new reactions too? Maybe even a "wink" reaction... how possible would it be to make a reaction like the 💯 emoji, or a "^ this" reaction, but with an MLP style font? Edit: ohhh or a 'salute' reaction?

Cons about this state of mind: a lot Pros: It's prime Disco Elysium time. Full immersion babey les go!!!!!

Idk about others but I'm just genuinely relieved you gave stuff some thought man cos it was worrying. You meant no ill will, I'm sure people understand I think most if not all of us have spiralled before, or at least made mistakes that hurt others despite our intentions. Happens sometimes What a day!!!!

Yeah it can be daunting to start with instruments at first, to me it seemed like "a thing other people do"... I am lucky to have always had a soft spot for the fiddle and cello so it wasn't hard to pick, cos it's quite a commitment!! I like electronic and video game soundtracks a lot too, not familiar with the overall electronic scene itself but I do enjoy some synthwave or darkwave synths are awesome.

Hi Dawnshine! :] I should use my guitar more while my violin's shoulder rest needs replacing, I did miss it :|

I love how I cluelessly posted that having not seen the announcement at all so I just thought you turned the banner evil out of nowhere for no obvious reason. "uhhhhhh, hmmmmmm, am I to assume things are going to get really interesting around here?" Like... "WHAT, the fuck does that mean?????"

I'd say math just for all my childhood suffering lol, but in retrospect what was bad about it was the dry and unintuitive teaching that never felt applicable to real life, which is a criminal thing to do to any suspect and destroys interest... For example I didn't mind it in science subjects nearly as much even when I struggled with it because at least there were understandable contexts in which the math was applied. At least more than maths. Since people brought up Religion, I find it funny - despite being atheist even at the time I actually generally enjoyed Religion as a class. It felt easier and more relaxed, and one year we were taught about other major religions and had discussions on Ethics, which were acrually really interesting classes I still remember fondly to this day. (Our teacher kinda went off the curriculum there - despite herself being Orthodox Christian, she spent more time teaching about Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism and Taoism than the deeeply Orthodox ministry of education would expect of her because those religions were also interesting to her and she didn't want to just glance over them. There's mentions of those in the textbooks but brief and in practice they're not really covered by teachers... and the year we were taught Ethics, the formal subject was called Christian Ethics, but she 'secularised' the year by instead encouraging debate on things like e.g. suicide in class, and brought up literature like Brothers Karamazov to discuss ethical questions. Do I sound like I adored her as a teacher? It's because we all did. We convinced her to not retire for a couple years more from the outpouring of written support she got when she announced her retiring. God, I miss her classes.)

looks at suspicious new banner Wonder when @Ice Princess Silky <3is going to be putting us into friendship camps

"I think everyone should get to scream for an hour per week."

If I don't, assume there is something wrong with me. Good thing I don't have kids or the flat would risk turning into a boot camp. This is a no-slob zone.

Uh... nothing. Besides chores and work I don't think I've done much of anything in weeks...

I see you have walked into today's home decor sections in retail stores as well. But yeah, no. Colour is important to me. Shades of grey or monotone colour schemes affect me more than I'd have thought, I write entire shops/venues/etc off if there are alternatives available over this because lifeless buildings feel uncanny and bleak to me.

I'd never: 1. be fluent in English 2. be able to flee my family and escape to another country with the help of @Acinonyx (for which English fluency was also necessary) 3. know anything about most of the things I know... the vast majority of everything I know has come from online sources (ebooks, etc) I do get grumpy sometimes and curse the internet for many many reasons but ultimately it's a well of infinite knowledge, and knowledge is power. Would I ever have known I'm abused without it? I'm convinced not only I would be mentally severely worse off without the support of online friends in my adolescence, I might have ended up in jail. Abuse resources are important y'all. So uh, yeah. For once I say, go internet! Thank you for existing because I would be a much worse person.

Finally got a physiotherapy appointment for my sciatica after over a year of having it!!

To my surprise my favourite films weren't the more heavy handed ones the studio is known for (even though I'm a sucker for social commentary and in depth analysis), but My Neighbour Totoro and Kiki's Delivery Service. They had a really homely feeling to them that media normally doesn't capture to the extent they did. IIRC My Neighbour Totoro was one of the more personal films of Miyazaki's pertaining his mother's illness in his childhood? I also feel out of my depth trying to analyse Ghibli's films as I am ignorant on Japanese history and society so my thoughts on them would be very off mark and personalised - I came across in particular a journalistic essay on Spirited Away's themes and was taken aback on how many of the things the journal discussed went over my head. Still a fun watch though!!