Do you select your friends?

[碇 シンジン 27,442]

Do you select your friends based on their behaviour, outer appearance etc. Do you accept if someone wants to be your friend? What do you think about friendship? What are friends for? Do you need them?

 

Do you think there is a difference between internet friendship and IRL friendship?

 

My opinion: Friendship is Magic.

Edited September 8, 2014 by ooBrony

[ShintX 180]

I don't choose friends in real life, i just hang out with ones that i like but i don't ditch people if they want to ask stuff (But i find it unusual for someone to ask to be friends IRL, since you can just say "Hi whats up" and thats how it works usually . Compared to the internet which is more of a usual place to ask). But internet is a different thing. Unless i really like chatting (which i have stopped currently) i won't add if i dont have interest for it etc, not to be nasty or anything.

Edited September 8, 2014 by ShintX

[__Duck-Quack__ 151]

Yes to all three people I like need to have an energy around them that feels both welcoming unique and just special to me in some way I usually know if I ike someone as soon as I meet them I spend time with those people because they don't make me want to walk away, you know what I mean.

 

Of course if someone wwants to be my friend I don't have many friends, I'm a very loyal person hey I've stood in the rain for more than one person I just met, literaly if it wasn't obvious.

 

And yes Internet relationships are different you don't get that feeling of social intimacy because even if they are there, you're still alone.

[碇 シンジン 27,442]

And yes Internet relationships are different you don't get that feeling of social intimacy because even if they are there, you're still alone.

To me internet friends are just as important as IRL friends (I have only 1 IRL friend) when I see my friends on the internet it gives me warm feeling that someone cares about me it gives me more confidence and courage and they help me by doing basically nothing. And I think that's what the friends are for they help when you are down and be with you every moment and I think that is important.

[Envy 6,480]

I'm not very good at 'selecting' friends. The problem is that I have a type of personality that tends to annoy most people, so there are only a select few that end up tolerating me enough to be my friend for the long-term.

 

So, essentially, they select me, not the other way around. There are some 'friends' I've had over the years that are homophobic and not accepting of me that I REALLY need to let go of (because they make me feel like dirt sometimes), but I can't do that... =/

[__Duck-Quack__ 151]

To me internet friends are just as important as IRL friends (I have only 1 IRL friend) when I see my friends on the internet it gives me warm feeling that someone cares about me it gives me more confidence and courage and they help me by doing basically nothing. And I think that's what the friends are for they help when you are down and be with you every moment and I think that is important.

Yeah I get that too but i have 0 friends all around so I wouldn't know, I've only had people I spend time but I think of being a friend is a littld more than that.

 

I guess you just have to know who is on the other screen and be confident in how much they respect you and it ca be like hanging out any other way.

 

*wow I must be tired so many typos in my posts.

Edited September 8, 2014 by MaybeRepunzel

[碇 シンジン 27,442]

Yeah I get that too but i have 0 friends all around so I wouldn't know, I've only had people I spend time but I think of being a friend is a littld more than that.

I guess you just have to know who is on the other screen and be confident in how much they respect you and it ca be like hanging out any other way.

,

 

If I knew all times who were behind screen I don't think I could be here. I'm so shy if I see other peoples faces, because I don't know what I should think. I'm always scared that I hurt someone with my thoughts or posts that I try to limit them, but sometimes I fail and that feels awful.

[Sceethe 704]

if i could choose my friends that easily, then i would be a whole lot happier with my life.

 

i've always been the one to wait for people to come to me and try to be friends, in fear of annoying people otherwise.

[Deathstroke 1,564]

I pretty much befriend anyone: Christian atheist or even a jew as long as your nice to me i'll be nice to you, plain and simple

[Darker 1,352]

I don't really need companions. For me, friends and girlfriends are just shadows that follow you.

 

Yeah, haven't learned about the Magic of Friendship yet.

[Jeric 46,890]

For me, this is a hard question to answer personally. I don't really select friends exactly. It's sort of an organic process. What starts as a casual conversation either extends beyond that, or doesn’t. There is a sort of chemistry that begins to form between two people. Either they click and become friends, or it doesn’t. I think that the only conscious decision I make in the whole ‘process’ would be if I discover the other person has serious flaws that are incompatible with my association. Constant assholery in general is one (a few bad days are one thing … but if all are constant bastard … I’m not keeping in contact).

 

Also, I have an obstacle course.

[ghostfacekiller39 23,880]

No, no, and no.

 

I don't select my friends. I'll be friends with anyone who desires to be my friend but will respect my personal boundaries I set, which differs from person to person. I don't sit there "I wanna be his friend, and her friend..." etc. I don't even initiate conversations most of the time, I just inactively wait for people to come to me. Just, you know, respect my boundaries. I'm very big on that.

I don't forgive people very easily, unless they prove themselves to have a degree of sincerity. I won't just accept someone who's wronged me enough in the past to warrant me thinking negatively of them all willy-nilly. Fortunately, I don't dislike very many people legitimately and can only think of one or two people I think negatively of on this whole site, despite all of the people I've locked horns with during my time here. 

 

And in my personal opinion, no. It varies from person to person, but for me, all of the friends I have are online. So I can't really say it does for me.
 

[SparklingSwirls 21,606]

Yes, but not intentionally. I'm a pretty shy person and thus it's hard for me to be friends with just anyone, and I also tend to get annoyed /very/ easily. I know that you have to work at friendships, but when talking with people seems like a chore, then I start to back off and just don't reply. I feel pretty bad about being this way, but...

[Ashen Pathfinder 16,165]

Well, it's a complicated question, but I'd probably have to say yes and no. Now, I'm usually shy & quiet, so meeting new people and starting new conversations was never a strong point of mine.

 

As it stands, I really don't have any actual IRL friends left at this point. A lot of friends I made back in my younger years turned out to be real jerks, bullies, or general trouble-makers. Most of those I came to know in public school were mainly acquaintances; we never really hung out. The one friend who did stick with me...well, life has gotten in our way and we haven't spoken since a few years ago.

 

Because of that, all of my actual friends now-a-days are internet friends; of which I value like any true friendship. I mean true friendship isn't physical to me; it's much more than that. That might sound weird coming from a 28 yr old, but it is what it is.

[Admiral Regulus 2,769]

I'm not very good at 'selecting' friends. The problem is that I have a type of personality that tends to annoy most people, so there are only a select few that end up tolerating me enough to be my friend for the long-term.

 

So, essentially, they select me, not the other way around. There are some 'friends' I've had over the years that are homophobic and not accepting of me that I REALLY need to let go of (because they make me feel like dirt sometimes), but I can't do that... =/

I've had similar experiences. I don't select my friends, they select me. This makes it difficult for me to end friendships, even when I *need* to.

[CheeryFox 23,827]

Sometimes RL people, just don't work for me too well. Real life and Internet relationships are different for sure. One's more demanding, the other, casual. And God forbid, the endless sea of morons out there. In contrast, you come here, yeah...it'll make you feel better, no doubt with the perceptive input that exists. The whole friend-selection process is mutual, if you think about it. 

 

What's important? You give an individual a chance to be your friend. Whether you become best buds, or a pair that just speaks the occasional 'hello'; in any case, that's one more connection and the reason why He put us here... 

[Untitled 59]

Don't we all have to choose are friends carefully? You know making friends these days is not easy at all and you really have to becareful. Really exam who your friends are from the ones who are not.

 

Bad friends could be your downfall and get you eliminated!!

Edited September 8, 2014 by Kenny Blankenship

[DubWolf 20,018]

I sort of pick my friends, usually if I share many similar interests with them and they aren't too obsessive over me (a lot of m...), but I can be friends with others if they pick me.

 

I've become ok friends with people I didn't really like before, even though they'll occasionally do something that annoys me.

 

The only difference I can think of now is that I can be more open and myself on the internet since well... My identity is anonymous (I could also take on multiple identities on the internet, and this have nothing to lose for being myself .).

[Miles 2,514]

Growing up from elementary school all the way through high school, I always had the same group of tight friends.  Sure, I was a bit more nomadic in junior high, but, at those ages, with all the crazy stuff that goes on in the body, curiosity was bound to find itself in me.  Come high school, I knew, and had known, who my real friends were.  The same kids I played at recess with in elementary school were the same kids I stood next to in high school.  We were band geeks.  Theatre/Drama (play) geeks, too.  

 

Then college... gosh... leaving home tore me apart my freshman year.  I mean, my hometown had a population of 2,500 people; a high school of ~250, and my grad class had like 43 classmates.  Everything in town was right off main street (speaking business-wise).  ONE set of stoplights, smack-dab in the very middle of town.  2 gas stations (both Casey's).  A local grocer (IGA/County Market).  A dollar store (Dollar General).  Lol, then they were probably 7 [small] bars as well as 7 churches.  

 

Going from the country-life, where everything was just much simpler, to campus-life in a big city... damn.  It was hard. 

 

I wound up just not being able to make friends very well.  Part of it being my own introversion, and half-unwillingness to let-in.  Part of it just being the simple fact that, I was quite different from the usual crowd there.  Hell, I was told by one of my instructors that I had harsh "R's" (speaking in terms of accent/dialect, I had a slight drawl [naturally] with a heavier emphasis on words with R's in them).  What a city-slicker - that's what I thought to myself at first about her - but then I realized something... She was right.  I did have an accent.  So, from then on, I subconsciously started losing the accent, because... honestly, I don't know.  I guess it bugged me to be so noticeable.  

 

Now I've just started my sophomore year.  All in all, though there are some "acquaintances" of mine in class... I've really only made 2 close friends.

 

---

 

Online, the boundaries are pushed away.  I can just say what I honestly mean, and say it the way I want it to be heard.  I'm glad I found this site.  When I first became a brony, I didn't know about this site... and after a few months, I was itching to find people to talk to about it, but because I was, and still am, an internet-only-brony ("in the stable" per se), I had no where to go, no one to talk to.  

 

Then I finally found this site... I thought to myself "Hmm... this might just be it." ... and it was.  

 

I've come to learn that I don't need to be so withheld, so hesitant; I can speak my true thoughts here.  I can let what I feel to be my own element of honesty shine.   

 

In doing so, I've found companionship and comradery; I've found friends.  And, damn, does it feel good.  I was tired of being so numb, I needed to open up, allow my emotions their time to flow.

 

In my opinion, the majority of the folks on here really do love and tolerate.  Maybe a few don't, but you know what, that's fine.  To each their own.  

 

Friendship is magic.

 

 

 

 

 

Edited September 8, 2014 by Miles

[Sir Hugsalot 9,369]

3x no.

 

1. "Do You select Your friends". 

 

When I want to be friends with someone - of course I do, obviously. But if someone messages me then unless that person annoys me a lot (and when such person does annoy me I say so before taking any action behind his/her back). Everyone deserves a chance to be my friend and so far very few people have made me dislike them.

 

 

 

2. Do You accept people You don't like?

 

I tend to be neutral about them in public, but I never accept them back as friends unless they apologize. Except for serious stuff, if someone does really bad thing to me then no apology will change my decision.

 

 

3. Different friendship and real life friendships can be same. Only difference is that internet friends are a lot harder to meet with in person. And of course extra caution is recommended because of well known "You don't know who is on the other side of screen". But such friendships can work as I have close "internet" friends myself.

 

 

 

Overall I think everyone deserves friendship unless that person did very bad thing to me. I talk even with people with whom I don't enjoy talking that much (and there is no way I will tell who I mean) just because I know that they too need to have friends. Somebody who will listen to them, try to share their happiness or support them when they are sad. I've encountered lots of difficult people on my path and I never turned away from them unless they gave me no other choice. And it takes a lot to hurt me. I consider entire forum my friends, even people who I did not meet yet. Because one day, who knows, maybe they will be my new best friends or I will be just the guy who supports them in need? Nobody knows that. And thing I hate most is leaving friends for no reason. Someone left me like this year ago in real life and hurted me deeply. And since then I keep saying to myself that I will never do same thing even if sometimes it can be hard not to as it is very easy path. 

[Invincible 2,092]

To your first question - Yes! Do i make an active mental check saying "Hey! This person looks okay, i should befriend them" ? Not really. It's just a gut feeling you have about another person that lets you know you can trust them. Outside of two cases, all of the times i trusted my judgement in people to select good friends paid off.

 

To your second one - I believe in forgive and forget, second chances, and different perspectives. If a person i didn't like actually came forward with trying to befriend me, i'd accept their friendship rather than push them away. It's always better to make a friend rather than a foe, and those you meet may surprise you.

 

To your third one - I have lots of internet friends. There's so much i can and can't do with them compared to live ones. Sure, they can make the best-est of friends, but there's a limit as to how far a friendship can grow without you ever meeting the other person face to face. They'll never go drinking or eating pizza with me, they'll never have my back in a fight... etc.

[Samurai Equine 57,099]

I sort of select my friends, but I try not to be too picky.

 

More than anything, all I really want are some REAL friends. I don't have time for fake friends who only want to leech off you, make you their scapegoat, etc. And I've had PLENTY of people try that on me.

 

If you take a genuine interest in me, then I'll take a genuine interest in you. If I think you might make a good friend, I'll reach out. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't, but I always try to treat people the way I want to be treated.

 

Most of us are here because we're fans of FiM, and the main characters in that show aren't just friends due to happenstance or because they can't do any better. They really are true friends to each other. I've seen how awesome friendship like that can be; I've lived it and I want even more friends like that. When it's true, then I honestly do believe in the magic of friendship, because I've seen the light of a true, true friend.

:comeatus:

[Arylett Charnoa 4,919]

I don't select my friends, but I don't go around befriending everyone either. People just come to me, and my brain decides whether or not it likes them. I don't control the process of friendship.

 

But you can say I'm rather hard to get ahold of as a friend. My instincts tell me to automatically flee from most people, and I will avoid talking because I find it nerve-wracking. I just hate the initial awkward interactions between myself and other people. I can just never get past that stage and make any new friends.

 

It doesn't help that I am quite picky about who I will accept as a friend. It takes a lot to even get me to realize that I like you and consider you my friend. My emotions could be telling me that, but I wouldn't even be aware of it unless I consciously sat down and had a think about it We have to be close, talk almost everyday, and have lots of mentally stimulating deeper content we say to each other for me to consider you a true friend. Very high standards. 

 

Now, will I accept someone I dislike wanting to be my friend? It depends on how much I dislike them, and what the dislike is based on. If it's just based on a shoddy first impression and I don't know much about them, then I'll try to befriend them. But again, I have trouble feeling close to people, so it'll probably take me a while to really get settled in there. If it's a deeper dislike, however, it'll be quite a bit difficult... and probably impossible.

 

I generally want to be everyone's friend, but I find it just isn't possible. I'm just not compatible with most people; they're not on the same level as me.

 

The last question: internet friendship does differ from real life friendship. But that doesn't mean it's any less significant. Over the internet, you have the advantage of being more comfortable to share deeper content because you don't have to have the scariness of faces, eyes, and everyday casual laughter shields blocking you. It's easier to get to know someone because it all happens at your convenience. So I think it's a great place to get to know a person at first. But afterwards, I think real life friendship is far more beneficial. The fact that you can physically go places with that person, and touch them... it's best for taking an already deep connection to the next level.

[Sommar 1,289]

When it comes to making friends, I am super picky of who I hang out with. I don't hang out with some random joe who's in my math class. If I talk to a person and they seem like the kind of person I would want to hang out with, then there is a chance we would become friends. That's why my friend circle is on the smaller side.

 

Even if someone is mean to me, I'll still be nice to them. Why? Because of the Golden Rule: "treat others the way you want to be treated". As for whether I'll actually be friends with them, the answer is no. I might say hi to them or whatever, but I won't have some close friendship with them if they treat me like dirt.

 

I think IRL friendships are much different than online friendships. I mean, with people you meet online you don't know the full story (what they are like). All you see is a computer screen, not the person's face. With RL friendships, you can actually see the person face to face for the most part.

[LittleMac 3,085]

1. I don't select friends. I of course am more comfortable around those who share my interests but am more than willing to befriend someone despite gender, age, race, interests, creed or whatever else.

 

2. As long as they are sincerely sorry, since I would only dislike someone if they had wronged me. I usually trust people too much but, hey, to quote Kirito in SAO, "I'd rather regret trusting someone than regret doubting them."

 

3. Yes, drastically different. I feel more comfortable online because, while there are a lot of jerks, a lot more tend to be accepting. No IRL friends of mine know I'm a brony because I know they wouldn't get it. I prefer online because no one can hurt you, at least physically or emotionally