gaming Gaming Criticisms

[Fire_Fly 499]

There are thousands of games that I love playing, but it seems like in every single one of them, I find something to criticize, and it turned out to be pretty fun counting them all. Anypony else find some things in their favorite games that struck you as odd?

 

Here's a few of mine, for example:

 

*Pokemon:

-Every town has a population of about 6 people.

 

-You have to wonder about the crime rate in the Pokemon Universe, since no one locks their doors...

 

-If your Pokemon are injured, you can walk for five minutes and find a PokeCenter and get them healed... But if you get injured, there's not a single hospital for humans on the map.

 

-The Professor in each game has spent their entire life researching pokemon, but when he/she gives you a Pokedex, it's completely empty.

[Chigens and Kay 3,831]

Why does everyone think Cloud Strife is so awesome when, in actuality, Zack Fair is the real hero?

[Colon Leftbracket 971]

Well I've died and found my thread in heaven!

 

I'd give some criticisms right now, but I'm kinda in a hurry and I don't have time to write a page on every little asinine detail on games that I love atm!

 

I'll be back later... with weapons!

[FedoraMemes 582]

Let's start.

 

~Call of Duty

 

-Can only sprint for a few seconds (in the older ones)

 

-Veteran is easier on some games then it is on the others

 

-Get killed on multiplayer so easily

 

-Addictive

 

~Mario

 

-So easy to miscalculate a jump and end up dying

 

-Get a power-up only to get it taken away from you almost immediately

 

~Minecraft

 

-Can't reach your stuff when you die

 

-Easy to get lost

 

-Enemies sneak up on you really easily

 

-Hunger

 

That's all of mine.

 

For now...

[Fire_Fly 499]

*Left 4 Dead (1 and 2):

 

- If First-Aid kits can heal the effects of a zombie attack, and there are literally first-aid kits everywhere, why did so many people become zombies?

 

- If Boomer bile attracts hoards of zombies, why is it that Boomers usually appear by themselves...? Shouldn't they constantly be followed by hoards of zombies?

[Jibus 192]

COD:

Shot in the chest doesnt kill you, knife to the foot does

BF3:

The intro music is awful!

TF2:

There should always be a Spy limit...am I right?

Minecraft:

Easier way to make servers

 

More Items

[Fire_Fly 499]

*Pretty much ANY Legend of Zelda

 

- Find a new gadget in a dungeon, and the rest of that dungeon forces you to use it nonstop... Leave the dungeon, and you never really need it again...

 

- Open vandalism must be legal in Hyrule, seeing as how the townsfolk don't react when you barge into their homes and start throwing pots against the walls.

 

- Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever seen any kind of law enforcement in Hyrule (Except the knights in Twilight Princess, but they're afraid to leave the bar....)

 

- Jobs SO overrated! Need money? Just thrash around in the tall grass with your sword!

[Colon Leftbracket 971]

Hmm... just to get one out there I won't be criticizing any game in particular, but gaming critics themselves!

 

For starters their scoring systems are awful! 10 pt scores? What are we judging a dive at the Olympics?

And what exactly gives a game their score? Do the games start at 5 and gain .1 points for good parts and -.1 points for bad?

Or is it more likely some complex equation where they just say screw the gameplay and they insert the amount of money earned by the game do some mathematical stuff for how much the company is paying them off and then boom score?

 

Also a 10 should mean Perfection. But how is there so many games with 10s but have flaws?

And why is a 7 an "average"? Average should fall somewhere in the middle of the 10 point scale such as 4, 5, and 6.

[Chigens and Kay 3,831]

Every Final Fantasy Game:

• Attack
• Get Attacked
• Repeat Until One Side Dies

[Fire_Fly 499]

Every Final Fantasy Game:

• Attack
• Get Attacked
• Repeat Until One Side Dies

And neither side makes any effort to block... Whether or not they decide to take damage is all up to chance.

[Sepia-chan 495]

The voice acting in Megaman 8.

[Legendary Emerald 622]

Kid Icarus: Uprising:

1. Why can't I choose to just play the flight or land portions of the levels when I'm replaying them?

2. Why don't the stats for the various weapons actually tell you what their base damage levels are?

3. Why can you not use the circle pad pro for dual analog controls?

4. Why do CPU players in multiplayer have the most powerful weapons available?

5. Why is the game so damn good in spite of all of this?

[Chigens and Kay 3,831]

Racing Games:

• Crash at 130 MPH
• Nothing Happens

[Fire_Fly 499]

The voice acting in Megaman 8.

 

The voice acting in House of the Dead 2.....

 

http-~~-//www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAWxw0wmeNQ

Edited April 2, 2012 by Fire_Fly

[Chigens and Kay 3,831]

Also in pretty much every game I play:

 

Locked door or chest.

"Needs a key to open" or "Skill isn't high enough to open."

Obviously has a weapon in hand.

Cant use it to beat open said doors and chests.

[Groo 252]

All horror games where you cannot kick down a door to save your life XD

[Fire_Fly 499]

*Resident Evil 4:

 

- Chainsaw Zombie: Smart enough to go downstairs and wait for you if you jump out a window and walk along a roof.....

-Somehow NOT smart enough to use a doorknob...

 

-Have Ashley hide in a nice, peaceful area, while you do all the dangerous stuff...

-She STILL manages to get kidnapped...

[Colon Leftbracket 971]

Just though of one!

 

In the Binding of Issac, how come you need money? You find established shops in the dungeons, but the only thing that seems to be watching over the inventory is a sack dummy hanging from a noose? Why not just take those Power Ups you SO DESPERATELY NEED!

 

Also how do Issac's tears damge enemies if most of them are just other mutant babies. And how does drops of blood damage you. Issac has blood since he's human and it doesn't seem to hurt me, it keeps me alive!

[Killian Jones 2,653]

My biggest criticism is when a game either defies it's own internal logic. Like a character taking a huge beating during combat without falling, but a single bullet during a cutscene kills.

 

Or when you are given choices, but none of these choices are actually choices you want to take. Especially in Good versus evil choices.

[Colon Leftbracket 971]

Also Final Fantasy XIII

 

Battles are done in real time now. Characters still make no effort to block unless told to.

Have to wait on stamina bar to block.

Snow uses fists... why?

In cutscenes characters hand each other guns at various parts of the game, only one of them uses guns as a main weapon.

 

And the most insulting section of a game I've seen in years!

Entire game restricts you to small corridors with minimal space and little to no exploration.

24 hours in reach Gran Pulse, wide open space to explore but nothing but monsters and side quests in it!

Me: "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!"

[Nah 3,181]

Simcity 4:

 

Wren insurance, Cox family court, Boutiques everywhere!

 

[Fire_Fly 499]

*EVERY Mario Game:

 

- Can you really blame Bowser for kidnapping the princess so often, when her only security is a bunch of 8-inch-tall, walking mushrooms...?

 

*Dr. Mario

 

-........How does a plumber go about getting a Ph. D. in the first place?!

[Mephala 2,633]

Just though of one!

 

In the Binding of Issac, how come you need money? You find established shops in the dungeons, but the only thing that seems to be watching over the inventory is a sack dummy hanging from a noose? Why not just take those Power Ups you SO DESPERATELY NEED!

 

Also how do Issac's tears damge enemies if most of them are just other mutant babies. And how does drops of blood damage you. Issac has blood since he's human and it doesn't seem to hurt me, it keeps me alive!

 

DAT GAME.

I don't really care cuz I still love it *wavey hands*

[Legendary Emerald 622]

Final Fantasy Series Criticisms

 

FF1: I'm pretty sure the plot divides by zero at some point.

FF2: What's more tedious than killing enemies to grind experience points? Casting the same spells over and over again to improve them!

FF3: Terrible message; sorry kids, but you cannot grow up to be anything that you want to be. So put your shurikens away and go sit at your desk, Tommy.

FF4: Nice ol' classical fantasy story... and then you get bucked to the moon and fight aliens. Damn it, Celestia...

FF5: Gilgamesh is too amazing for a game as uninteresting as this.

FF6: It's the end of the world as we know it... seriously, I can't find anything on this world map, where am I supposed to go?!

FF7: If you think Sephiroth's plan made any logical sense, then you're probably suffering from mako poisoning.

FF8: None. This game is perfect. "But what about triple tria-" SHUT UP THIS GAME IS PERFECT LA LA LA LA-

FF9: By grinding one of your character's against dragon type creatures, she is able to do 9999 damage with a single attack that uses no mana and has no recharge time. Awesome? Yes. Game breaking? Hell yes.

FF10: HA-HA-HA-HA! HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! Go die now.

FF11: Oh hey, a Final Fantasy MMORPG! Pass.

FF12: Oh hey, a single player Final Fantasy MMORPG! Pass.

FF13: This game exists.

Edited April 2, 2012 by Legendary Emerald

[Fire_Fly 499]

*Ninja Gaiden 2

 

-Throw a shuriken and hit a guy in the face: He gets angry and runs at you.

-Kick that same guy in the ankle: LIFE-THREATENING INJURY!!!