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What did you want to be when you were little? (Or what do you want to be?)


Canary Yellow

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  • 6 years later...

I wanted to work at Disneyland since I was little. I ended up living that dream to my great surprise. Otherwise I would have tried architecture or something like that. If I lived in Japan I'd work at a Maid Cafe; that sounds like a perfect fit for me. It sounds so silly and fun. 

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  • 3 weeks later...

I wanted to be many things based off from my interests but i was a native child thinking I could help people or do what I love. An artist, a investigator, a nurse.. Now "I just don't want to be a sad adult."-B.i

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(edited)

Nothing, I was messed up since back then. And I remember adults asking me this question very often. And I would stand there staring at them with a worried look in my eyes. Because the whole world didn't look real anymore. Everything looked like a compromise, an exersive in survival I did not care to follow. It was like a stage, and I was a very bad actor at being "normal". That explains why I do not have money or a place in society now. I abandoned my career in medicine some ten years ago.

But, yeah. I was a very strange child. I wanted to know if there was something true to this stage. And I feel like the answer is gonna disappoint me in the end. It is like spending your whole life putting together a million piece puzzle, only to realize the message in the complete picture says "f*ck you". I have sacrificed so many things on this principle. Because that is how empty the world felt to me, so empty that something like an ideal had more weight than the whole world.

A difficult situation. I hate to be like this, because I feel like an alien, eventhough aliens do not exist. And still, I cannot bring myself to be normal. To be human. I've been revisiting past memories from my childhood to try and find the place where I became so disconnected from this reality, because now it seems like I have to disconnect myself yet again to become part of this reality. And I cannot pinpoint where exactly everything went wrong, because it was a constant mess. So, yeah. My answer was always silence, most likely because I could see this situation coming, even when I was five years old. It is very difficult to build over a broken foundation when the good faith I had left was squandered by the mistakes of others with no concept of responsability.

I often question the quality of the individuals who form part of my relatives, their nature is like that of vultures. But, I also wonder whether they are closer to the truth than myself. They are living in accordance to the natural laws of human animals. They are rapacious and relentless in their pursuit of material things, like animals oughta do in nature if they do not wish die of starvation or be devoured by others. Meanwhile, my "moral high ground" is only held on the illusion of a self-made ideal founded on the broken human foundation that cut me off from the mundane nature of reality, when the dissociative trauma hit me early in life.

Edited by They call me Loyalty
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Never wanted to be anything in particular and this never changed for me. Dreams or goals would only remind me of something I don't do or don't own already. So without them, the current moment is always perfect. :)

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I wanted to own a bakery but now that I’m older and have dealt with customers, I realized that not only do I want to avoid a career in customer service if possible, I also have no business aptitude nor exceptional baking skills. It was a cute idea while it lasted.

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10 hours ago, ExplosionMare said:

I wanted to own a bakery but now that I’m older and have dealt with customers, I realized that not only do I want to avoid a career in customer service if possible, I also have no business aptitude nor exceptional baking skills. It was a cute idea while it lasted.

That’s why you hire a real butch, tough, assistant manager to deal with those kinds of people :nom: .

I remember wanting to be an astronomer, but ehh, it’s far more complex than just looking at telescopes. Also a meteorologist, because I could be on TV. That one wouldn’t have been so bad. Lots of computational models.

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I wanted to be an architect, but too many grown ups laughed and said "you will never succeed because of math". So I gave up before even trying.

The lesson is, always listen to the grown ups. If they say you are a failure, you better accept it. Never try to prove them wrong.

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When I was a bit older I got into the idea of animating cartoons, but that would require me to move pretty far away to find any job openings outside of an independent team (and who knows how long that would take!). Game design became the next best thing.

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