Who's um . . . unsure of their sexuality?

[Moniker 93]

Let me say I think I'm bisexual. But, I can't say for sure.

 

I've uh . . . done research and since I'm not fully sure if I'm straight or bi, I've yet to tell my parents. And it gets worse, since I'm homeschooled and haven't really spoken with many people outside of the family, and I've yet to kiss a girl, or boy. But, I've started going to a group in the Library, and I've kind of developed a crush on two members of the group, and one is a guy, the other is girl. I don't know what to do, I've had dreams with both genders. What . . . what should I do? I don't know who I am. Any suggestions? 

[Frostgage 7,976]

I don't know much about these things but all I can suggest is just to do what feels natural. You shouldn't feel obligated to label yourself as straight, bi, gay or whatever. Whatever you feel is right is totally fine

[Moniker 93]

It doesn't help I love Gravitation, Loveless, both anime that is romances with male/male.

[LightFlicker 91]

Do what your heart desires most, and only then you will be truly happy.

Also you should never think about what others will think of you, as long as you're happy it's fine

[Gearbox10mm 794]

You like what you like, there's no use trying to fight it. You should be less concerned with labels and more concerned with doing what makes you happy.

[Guest]

I'm not unsure about my own sexuality but if someone is struggling with that. I say they should follow after whatever their hearts finds happiness in. 

[Lisa 5,553]

I'm pretty unsure. I've liked both but it's probably a phase.

Edited November 29, 2016 by Tracer

[AccountNoLongerUsed 741]

I think its better to not view it as "gay, bisexual, straight" but rather a spectrum. something like this:

 

1- Completely Heterosexual

 

2- More Heterosexual Than Homosexual

 

3- Bisexual

 

4- More Homosexual Than Heterosexual

 

5- Completely Homosexual.

Edited June 13, 2015 by Wyllow

[A Black Circle 1,586]

I just go wherever god pulls me. That's feeling like romantic asexual, but I really can't tell.

[AccountNoLongerUsed 741]

And dont think i forgot asexuality. Though...hope this doesnt offend, I always felt that asexuality is to sexuality the way atheism is to religion: it isnt one, some people just do not get sexually attracted period. And thats ok.

[Banul 3,831]

Sometimes, I think I have a touch of bisexuality. Usually guys do nothing for me, but occasionally I see a piece of art or something that does do do it for me.

[Moniker 93]

I know . . . I have that same problem.

[Shift 4,272]

I've thought I was asexual for years, but now i'm questioning it. I do get turned on by certain stuff, but it's never anything gender-related. I'm not sure if i'm attracted to boys or girls, but i'm fairly sure i'm just attracted to one of them. Not sure.

[Snow Frostflame 3,568]

yes... I always thought I was Heterosexual.... but then I thought I was Asexual for about a year..... now I think I'm Pansexual.... I'm pretty sure I'am

Edited June 13, 2015 by Snowflake Frostflame

[Silver Letter 1,832]

For me, I've had to develop my understanding of sexuality over time. I am not unsure about it. 

 

As for you, perhaps getting advice from a professional might be the right thing to do.

[Moniker 93]

How would I do that, I don't know anyone who's a "professional".

[Smarts 1,623]

I used to be unsure of my sexuality, but then I stuck with asexual and never looked back.

[MLG4Ever 876]

1- Completly Herosexual

2 - Bisexual

3 - Added Pansexual with bisexual

but I'm sure it will change over time but it might stay

[Envy 6,206]

I was very confused in my teenage years... I fully believed that I was bi, but I think it was my mind wanting to bend me toward the 'norm' (during I time when I claimed to be all about anti-conformism... yeah. xD), since I knew for sure that I liked other women. Any slight bit of any feeling towards guys and I'm like "OMG.... Crush! See, I'm not lesbian... I'm bi!"

 

I was such a strange one...

 

I literally thought I was bi until maybe around the time I joined this forum. I don't remember the exact timeline. Either way, it doesn't always come clear to you immediately. I was confused about this for at least five years... If not seven. >.<

[Plume 922]

Yo, just roll with it! The best possible advice I can give is just to not be scared of change - you don't have to nail yourself down, and sexuality is a fluid thing. Hell, you can be straight one week and gay the next, before deciding you're bi. It's all good!

 

Personally, I am unsure for the simple reason that I have never had a crush. Am I straight? Bi? Lesbian? Aromantic? Who the heck knows. For now going to slap on an aromantic/asexual and then leave it. My logic? Aromantic until proven otherwise, and then bi until proven otherwise ^^

Edited June 13, 2015 by MiniKirby123

[Malinter 3,064]

I mostly favour guys over gals but i can still appreciate the beauty of the female form. I've no real desire to father children so I suppose that lets me play to my strengths as it were.

[~Kitty~ 165]

For me, I'm unsure. I know that I'm either straight or asexual, but yet, sometimes I feel transgender too. I kind of feel like if my relationship fails with my current boyfriend, I'd rather just give up and be asexual. Now, that's not to say that I don't love my bf, I love him very much, I just kind of feel like he's the only one for me if anybody. He's the only person who can truly understand me. We both have depression which can be quite difficult, but it's easier knowing that I'm not alone.

 

As for the transgender part, even if I did decide to label myself make, I know I'd still like guys. So would that make me gay? No idea. xD But for now, I'm going with the idea that I'm female. Though I do typically feel more like a guy at times, I shouldn't overlook my girly moments. I'll just say I'm a tom-boy

 

I feel like sexuality shouldn't always have a label, and you should feel free to feel what you feel. ^^ I too wonder about girls, but I don't know if I could actually be in a relationship with one.

 

Well, I can promise you at least one thing- you're not alone!

[PoisonClaw 8,166]

I think it's more typical to be unsure than society would lead you to believe. I know I spent years during and after high school agonizing about my sexuality until I found something that actually fit me in asexuality. But even then I still have moments when I question if even that suits me and I'm not just using it as an excuse. Luckily those moments become fewer and farther apart with time, so it's ok to be unsure about something like this.

[Revy 184]

  On 2015-06-13 at 1:24 AM, ~Discordian said:

Let me say I think I'm bisexual. But, I can't say for sure.

 

I've uh . . . done research and since I'm not fully sure if I'm straight or bi, I've yet to tell my parents. And it gets worse, since I'm homeschooled and haven't really spoken with many people outside of the family, and I've yet to kiss a girl, or boy. But, I've started going to a group in the Library, and I've kind of developed a crush on two members of the group, and one is a guy, the other is girl. I don't know what to do, I've had dreams with both genders. What . . . what should I do? I don't know who I am. Any suggestions? 

 

Being bisexual is completley normal and more common than people think. I am one myself (though have a gender prefence) and I have just learned too embrace it, in fact its so much more interesting than being one or the other When I was a teenager and finding that I was more and more attracted too girls as well as boys I 'explored' that attraction at a slow pace, luckily I have a friend who is bi as well so that was quite easy. Just start off by talking too the guy you fancy, perhaps look at videos on the internet and see if you feel attracted towards that kind of thing and remember never rush things, the great thing about being Bi or possibly bi is that you never even have too go out with the same sex if you dont want, you never have to prove your bi , and the only difference between having a crush on the same or other gender is just prejudice, you dont have too fancy everyone   As for telling your parents, i only told them two months ago so you dont even have to do that.

[Justin_Case001 4,907]

I've never been unsure about what I want in another person.  I've wanted females since I was old enough to walk.  It's never changed.  What has started gnawing at me in recent years is the feeling that I wish I actually was female as well.  I know I'm not trans.  I know that.  My brain matches my junk.  But in many ways, I feel like I'll never really be truly happy as a guy.  I just feel like being a woman would suit my personality better.  But I don't want to be a hetero woman, because I love women so much that I couldn't imagine not being attracted to them.  So...what...I want to be a lesbian?  I'm a lesbian trapped in a man's body, sort of?  Pffft.  I don't know.  I probably wouldn't have any of these feelings if society didn't look down on effeminate men.  I also probably wouldn't have these feelings if I hadn't been denied every romantic/sexual rite of passage imaginable.  I'll be the 30 year old virgin in a few months.  The 40-Year Old Virgin ain't far away.  It's happening.  Sometimes it's hard to make sense of these kinds of feelings when you live a completely isolated, virtual life.

 

To respond to the OP--I agree with everyone who said to do what feels right and don't get hung up on labels.  Orientation labels are society's method of organization so that we have a way to refer to what's what.  But it's not that simple.  Sexuality is a completely limitless spectrum, a gradient, a sliding scale with no definite labels.  People can be attracted to anything and everything, or nothing.  Worry less about "what" you are, and just be who you are.

 

 

  On 2015-06-13 at 2:45 AM, Banul said:

Sometimes, I think I have a touch of bisexuality. Usually guys do nothing for me, but occasionally I see a piece of art or something that does do do it for me.

I know what you mean.  I mean, I know I want a woman; that's all I've ever wanted, but sometimes I'll see a guy and think, "Huh, he's pretty hot."  It's not that I actually want to have sex with him, I just feel like I can appreciate sexual beauty in all sorts of places.  And what's wrong with that?