Would you give an invincible alicorn a gun massage?

[Bendy 1,821]

Would you give an invincible alicorn a gun massage? Or would it be too weird for you?

 

There is a common theme in many fan fiction that alicorns are immune to bullets. But let's say shooting these alicorn feels really nice for them. So nice in fact when you came to Equestria (with lots of guns and ammo) you got a job in a spa in Canterlot, where you give alicorn pony princesses massages with guns.

 

You wear earphones as you give them a noisy massage with guns. And the ponies keep your guns maintained and resupplied with ammo. 

 

You start things slow at first usually with a pistol massage. Before you move on to give them a machine gun massage.

 

 

Edited September 27, 2015 by Bendy

[Kyoshi Frost Wolf 41,632]

So......this thread is a thing. Interesting.

 

 

Uhh....I would say.....no. Mainly because I would be terrified of missing and hitting anything or anypony else. That would scar me for life. Two lives in fact.

[PROJECT: Simon 3,954]

No~ ;~; T^T I can't do that, to adorable ponies~ ;~; <3 <3       

[Bendy 1,821]

So......this thread is a thing. Interesting.

 

 

Uhh....I would say.....no. Mainly because I would be terrified of missing and hitting anything or anypony else. That would scar me for life. Two lives in fact.

 

 

What if you were in a bullet proof room?

 

 

No~ ;~; T^T I can't do that, to adorable ponies~ ;~; <3 <3       

 

But these alicorns want you to shoot them. It feels nice for them.

Edited September 27, 2015 by Bendy

[PROJECT: Simon 3,954]

 

 

But these alicorns want you to shoot them.

But I still can't do it~!! T^T ;~;   <3 <3  

[Everleaf 541]

I can't say I'd have the guts to do it...Chances are I'd miss...

[Treelestia 36]

A bullet is too concentrated for massaging, it'd be like poking someone over and over in the same spot. You'd need explosive weapons or switch to running them over with a car, tank, giant robot, or small moon depending on their invincibility levels.

 

Alternatively, create a voodoo doll of them and give it a massage. Maybe that'll work unless they're immune to voodoo magic...

[Draxon 214]

My first thought was, "who on Earth started this thread?"  Then I saw your Bender avatar, and things made a little more sense.

 

I'm going to have to go with no.  I just don't like the idea of shooting any creature, regardless of whether or not it will do any damage to them, or in this case, feel good.

[GuyNamedEarl 1,332]

What a... strange question. I guess I'd do it if they wanted to.

[BronyDoesBronyThings 63]

I am not good at firing guns, so no.

[Holiday Agnaktor 1,436]

I probably would, if they liked it. :3

I really like the idea of shooting a gun, but I dread hurting anyone, so this would be really convenient. :3

So yeah, gun massage it is. :3

[Glaive9Gko 82]

Waitwaitwait, you want me to shoot a machine gun at an immortal pony sun goddess for her own personal pleasure? That may very well be the most metal thing I've ever heard, much less had the opportunity to do!! Fuck yeah I'll do it!

[N.W. 3,619]

Well this assumes that they are "caught" as is the case with Kevlar, though obviously they drop off instead of staying in the Kevlar (or hide in this case?)

Basically if they are squishy enough to catch the bullet(s) but not absorb them.

Basically like punching a pillow.

 

On the other hand you could assume (through magic) it is a more rigid material similar to actual armor on a vehicle be it an APC, IFV, Tank, etc...

In this they they would deform on impact or disintegrate/shatter on impact depending on the type of ammunition.  I would think this would not as well if you were trying to "massage". Basically like rain hitting a tin roof.

 

 

To actually answer the question: No, mostly because that sounds ridiculous but also because my canon belief does not allow for firearms in Equestria.  

[cider float 2,538]

Okay I can deal with giving ponies belly rubs and having Celestia fawning over me, but this... this is just too weird for me.

 

*walks out the door*

Edited September 28, 2015 by cider float

[simba86 1,541]

celestia would be about the only one who could afford to run a machine gun

[-Octavia- 1,176]

That..

 

Sounds effing...

 

AWESOME!

 

 

Would probably opt for a G2 FAMAS, though. Holding down the trigger on a machine gun would get monotonous pretty quickly.

[VengefulStrudel 1,488]

Huh...well, ain't that one of the most bizarre scenarios I've read recently. I guess...no? I don't like the idea of handling a weapon. If she wants a gun massage, just setup an automated turret and voila, no need for a helping hand.