Letting go, how do you cope?

[Concerned Bystander 2,902]

Learn to be happy in yourself.  Find a hobby that you can indulge in alone, read, write, learn something new, watch films, draw pictures, whatever it takes to enjoy time by yourself.  Don't isolate yourself or lock yourself away in your room, just enjoy taking some quality time out for you.

 

It won't stop loss from hurting, but it means that you always have your own company to fall back on when all else fails.  Another effect of this is that if you can be happy and positive by yourself, then that will come across to others as well, making forming new connections easier as people will be more inclined to spend time with someone who is happy than the mopey git who always has a black cloud floating over his head.

[DageNox 109]

I have the opposite dilemma, letting things go all the time. I sort of find it hard to bind myself to the ground and wander around aimlessly. I don't feel attached really to almost anything in my life, just obligated at times to do stuff. I have no friends or nothing. I can make friends but I don't keep them. (Not that I leave them purposely, I just drift away like a leaf in the wind.)  

[KatonRyu 1,033]

I only managed to let go of someone because I found someone else to feel that strongly about. At that time, she liked someone else so I settled for being a close friend, and that alone made me very happy. Then, after a year or so, we naturally got together and I haven't looked back since. That's seven years ago this month.

 

The best thing I've learned from that experience is to keep looking forward, and being happy with what you have. Sounds corny, I know, but it worked like that for me.

I only managed to let go of someone because I found someone else to feel that strongly about. At that time, she liked someone else so I settled for being a close friend, and that alone made me very happy. Then, after a year or so, we naturally got together and I haven't looked back since. That's seven years ago this month.

 

The best thing I've learned from that experience is to keep looking forward, and being happy with what you have. Sounds corny, I know, but it worked like that for me.

[Lucky Bolt 35,063]

For me, it can depend, but, I tend to let go of things pretty easily, even though it might take me a while at first. 

[Dreambiscuit 9,691]

The intro to this thread seems more about giving up something that we want rather than something that we already have. Giving up a dream or aspiration is one of the hardest things I can think of. Having a goal to shoot for is what gives life direction and meaning. Giving it up has to be a matter of making a huge sacrifice for something or someone that we consider more important than ourselves. Putting aside our own egos and desires is the greatest act of love I can imagine. We all know the saying: “There is no greater love than laying down one’s life for their friends.” This may not be a matter of literally laying down one’s life, but laying down all that one wants out of life which, to me, is the same thing. So as much as I cringe at the idea of throwing away all that makes us who were are, it’s probably the most noble and worthy thing a human being can do. And in doing so, maybe we can find that what makes us who we are is really what we give up rather than what we seek. I don’t know if there’s any easy way to attempt it, but I would have to empty myself and recognize the importance of the bigger picture, practice letting go and not dwelling on it. That’s the only way I could think to cope. 

[Here No Longer 5,276]

Well, I generally think about why I let go, and reflect on the situation. Generally understanding allows me to handle letting go of something, or (on a very small number of occasions) someone.

 

I've begun to learn that you have to be able to be happy with what you do have and not what you don't. I know that's difficult, but it's the best way not to get depressed over past attachments among other things.

 

 

[TBD 17,254]

Depends how serious it is, I usually let things go within a second without putting too much thought into. 

[Narcissus 354]

I get really upset and bottle up all my emotions inside until I feel I'm going to die. When my dad had to work overseas and relocated me to live with relatives in another state, I left everything and everyone I cared about behind and it damn near killed me. I'm not an outgoing person and not many people wanted to know me, so when I actually had friends I was extremely loyal to them, so leaving them was devastating. Luckily I met someone new who genuinely cared and it saved me. I have a different life now but it was pretty bad for a little while. So yeah, I take it hard and let the pain burn holes in me, so to speak, when I have to let go.

[Sherem 4,807]

you just answered your own question there, what's the point of feeling bad of something you cannot or someone you can't have? and if you turn it into an obsession it will get you in more issues and problems than you might already have. 

[Stardust 641]

Finding something else better, being in touch with yourself and trying new things. Support from others helps

[Clawdeen 14,164]

Honestly it comes and goes. I've been in the same boat for a year and a half now. I get over them, then the feelings come back every now and then. I actually used to argue with them often and pushed them away. I hated this situation and I began to hate them. But then after a while of no talking, we'd become friendly again, feelings come back and the cycle repeats itself.
    This time however its different. I can't keep fighting and pushing this person away. They always come back around. It's not really a fair position to put them in all because I can't deal with my emotions and a harsh reality of a situation. If I can manage to lose my feelings for them when things are bad between us, I can certainly figure out how to do the same when things are good. At least until I escape the situation and find a new job. Once I never see them again ill be good.

 

[Splashee 28,564]

I have listened to a song my entire life with the lyrics "Letting go.... Letting Gooooooo-ooooo!", with no concept why or what it meant.

And now, letting go of something really does hurt.

[Dreambiscuit 9,691]

If I want to purge my mind of things I want and can’t have, it sometimes helps to find another dream to cling to. As long as the mind is focused on something it can be easier to let go of something else.

[EpicEnergy 23,218]

I have difficulty with coping in a healthy way or in any way at all, as most times I cope by either doing something unhealthy or not coping at all.

[DesuPony 40]

I'd watch my little pony and get wasted.  Now that I'm going to be finishing my little pony soon it's back to just drinking. I don't recommend it though.

[daviddaviddavid 776]

By burying my head in the sand and keeping so busy that I have no time to think about anything that might upset me.

[PeppermintNSwirl 16]

robotripping and watching MLP. Pretty much FiM is all I read/think about at the moment

[privet 180]

take hot shower  and drink hot tea

and go to sleep

 

[Cash In 22,313]

I guess it depends on what you're letting go of. Generally speaking, I just try to remind myself that it's just something that happens in life and that you have to move on and maybe you'll find something or someone else.

[Splashee 28,564]

I don't think I can let go of anything that I like

[They call me Loyalty 1,948]

Simple. By not letting go. Recently, I've been following the example from one of my friends about letting go of my ideals. These are mental filters I have created around my psyche to protect me from reality, give me comfort and provide a semblance of meaning to my dysfunctional life. Similar to what people do with religion and other belief systems. And... it was a terrible idea. I started crashing against the ground like a bird with broken wings. And then realized this was not only a stupid advice, but also an hypocritical one. Since he has his own coping mechanism, which he practices with compulsion.

So, once again. I feel more balanced and mentally stable after returning to the safety of my own mind. But it was not good. Anxiety levels went through the roof. I started experiencing depression again, and spent most days in bed. It felt like I was drowning in reality because I was too weak to swim. Which is not the case with him, since he does not suffer from my condition. Otherwise, he would be in a similar place as mine, it is my guess.