Post A Quote From Your Day, Without Any Context.

[DubWolf 19,550]

“Today is my Saturday, because on the 7th day, I’m resting, eyyyy ?”

(I’m not God  ).

[Samurai Equine 56,069]

If you don't know what to do, don't press a bunch of buttons wildly. Just ask me to fix it. ... Also, I got you some decaf tea.

[Silly Druid 7,832]

"You can't catch viruses. I tried all week with a bug catching net. Caught nothing. Got this stupid cough now, though."

[DubWolf 19,550]

YES!! IT WON'T TAKE BEBOP!!

[Tropical Melody 7,853]

"Cuz I didn't see a 'Bach' thing chorus, it said something about 'enjoy the Bach', and I was like 'What Bach?' and then I saw there was some Bach, so oh OK that Bach, alright ..."

 

[Iforgotmybrain 7,578]

“He sounds drunk”

’Oh no, he’s not drunk he’s just French.’

[Silly Druid 7,832]

"We're going to kill two stones with one bird."

[Tropical Melody 7,853]

"I've seen worse, although to be fair that guy was using a butter knife on the gas stove for a soldering iron and I'm not sure his guide dog was really following the wiring diagram too well"

 

[Iridescent Edge 725]

"Maybe we could hold his head over there? No, that would be waterboarding."

[Samurai Equine 56,069]

...It's not like putting on a cute, little, upside-down cap, is it? 

[Silly Druid 7,832]

"Everywhere we look, the visible spectrum is rainbows. This cannot be natural."

[Tropical Melody 7,853]

"Why is he roaming the forest looking so carefree and why does he need a wheelbarrow to do that?"

 

[Silly Druid 7,832]

"If you're the smartest person in the dialogue, perhaps you're imagining the dialogue."

[Denim&Venöm 20,696]

"I give a divine rending bitch slap." 

"I burn a legendary resistance not to give a st." 

[Samurai Equine 56,069]

I am not convinced Stan Lee actually had a hand in making these.

[Tropical Melody 7,853]

"Guys, I can't get under my comfort blanket enough ..."

 

[liujiadong 544]

 

Why you gotta sleep on my crew?

You know that my VVS' blue.

[Tropical Melody 7,853]

"Who the hell is texting me!? My mother. Hello mother!"

 

[liujiadong 544]

Tired of feeling like my life is just a game.

[Ragland Tiger 3,506]

"The most dangerous people are not those who lie to your face -- but those who lie to themselves, and call it love."

[ThePinkestofPones 6,495]

"The dramatic sequel to a 'pulled pork sandwich is just a fancy sloppy joe'....

 

A Hot Pocket is just a budget calzone"

[Otaku-sempai 745]

"Give me food, so I have strength when the wolves come. Let me die, not in hunger, but in combat!"

[ExplosionMare 24,500]

 I didn't give anyone permission to be a woman!

[liujiadong 544]

 

They might say hi, and I might say hey.

But you shouldn't worry about what they say.

 

[Tropical Melody 7,853]

"The minute AI asks me 'Will I dream?' I'm fecking out ... I'm out ... I'm throwing my phone in the ocean"